you're all a bunch of bleedin' liars . . . .

13 May 2005

Please don't be too hard on Dave :therethere: His memory is a tad blurred due to one too many Barley Wines at a concert rolleyes

Monkees Dave.......... The Monkees!!! were in your home town :roll: Yeh they have distinct features and rather distinct voices - but mythical creatures they ain't :roll:
This belief was compounded a few years later by a visit from this woman

What's more - There are no Unicorns in Hertfordshire!!!! Carrying a cross??? String of garlic round yer neck?? That was Vampires you were seeing - nothing like a Unicorn doesn't even sound the same
And yes, agree with you there Dave, there are many Vampires in Hertfordshire, just going through the Yellow Pages you can find em - Barry & Son Builders, Gordon the Plumber, Doug the Plasterer, Tarquin the Solicitor (change of name to be a posh Vampire ), not to mention unfortunate events Dave had when confronted with Stan the pedegree vendor :?
Bleed you dry the lot of em! :shock: But they ain't Unicorns :roll: I remember way back me and Paul told you it was the lesser spotted Rhino you saw in the depths of Hertfordshire, not a bluddy Unicorn!!! Still having none of it are ya Dave!
As for you Neilnolongerinleeds!!!! I know my Injuns I do I tell ya!!! And I have injun outfits :smile2: you've just never seen em! ........... Even injuns have to leave stuff at the Dry cleaners ya know
And this is ripe coming from Mr bluddy liar himself ........... just cos yer catch phrase is "Fuck Knows" - it don't give you a big conk, nor is it a sexy thing to say when all I asked was yer *name!!! :shock:
*Well he ain't from Leeds, so who wouldn't question his name!!!

13 May 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, get you!! :P :cheers:

Yes I believe you usually do :-) :wink:
But not as often as I would like!! :twisted:
Mal
:wink:

13 May 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
............................but . . . . does Easy look exactly like a cross between James Bond and Superman?...............................
neilinleeds

Yes he does. Ask Missy. She commented on how much I looked like my avatar when we met at the NW Munch... :smug:
And in future I'd thank you if you'd kindly keep your slurs to yourself. evil

*pulls underpants over tights and runs down the street doing the Superman jump, trying to fly away*

13 May 2005

I must make an unreserved appology to Mr and Mrs davej.
I had no idea of the sad but all the same heartwarming tale of two nominally "different" people making their way in the harsh world of today. Ignorance is however no excuse and really just shows that one should read every existing thread here before passing judgement on others.
It was never my intention to appear davejist in any way or to cause hurt to two obviously very special people who have found true happiness here.

13 May 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
This belief was compounded a few years later by a visit from this woman

Ohhhh!..... now if that swan works along the same principals as Rod Hulls emu then I bags first try!

13 May 2005

dear oh dear oh dear, what a to do! rolleyes

i seem to have stirred up a right old hornets nest with this one! :shock:
right, first off, dave . . . admit it, you're talking bollox! all that rubbish about garlic and stuff. i checked on and it's definitely a virgin you need. now i've only ever met 3 girlies from herts, but i have reason to believe they're anything but virgins, so extrapolating from that 100% non-virgin ratio, we can safely assume there ain't no virgins in Herts at all, so why would the unicorns still be hanging about? they'd have buggered off years ago wouldn't they, maybe to Ireland or somewhere virtuous like that? dunno

as for you Warwick, sorry, but you're talking shite, and making even less sense that usual. if you're really the A4600, how exactly have you been able to find work as library shelving and other wooden furniture on occasion? eh? Warwickshire County Council retire all the wooden roads when they brought in this new fangled tarmac stuff did they? i think not! ha haaaa! wriggle out of that one then!
and missy, i'm sorry. i don't know how i dragged you into this, but i assure you it was quite unintentional. can we kiss and make up? can we can we can we can we? :bounce:
with apologies to missy, and flipa

to shameless gobshites everywhere :P
neil

13 May 2005

Quote by neilnolongerinleeds
right, first off, dave . . . admit it, you're talking bollox! all that rubbish about garlic and stuff. i checked on and it's definitely a virgin you need. now i've only ever met 3 girlies from herts, but i have reason to believe they're anything but virgins, so extrapolating from that 100% non-virgin ratio, we can safely assume there ain't no virgins in Herts at all, so why would the unicorns still be hanging about? they'd have buggered off years ago wouldn't they, maybe to Ireland or somewhere virtuous like that?

Why wouldn't they stay? No fecker can see them. Think of all the stuff they can get up to being unseen. Davej put his missing chocolate down to pixies, but I think it's just a cunning plan to divert attention from themselves by spreading roumers of pixies (pixies prefer a warmer climate and travel to Florida for the winter. They probably won't be back until mid June at the earliest, but you having done your research Neil, would know that. )

Quote by neilnolongerinleeds
as for you Warwick, sorry, but you're talking shite, and making even less sense that usual. if you're really the A4600, how exactly have you been able to find work as library shelving and other wooden furniture on occasion? eh? Warwickshire County Council retire all the wooden roads when they brought in this new fangled tarmac stuff did they? i think not! ha haaaa! wriggle out of that one then!

Simple. They just tarmaced over him as they couldn't be bothered to rip him up and send him off to an old roads home. wink

Quote by neilnolongerinleeds
and missy, i'm sorry. i don't know how i dragged you into this, but i assure you it was quite unintentional. can we kiss and make up? can we can we can we can we? :bounce:

Missy, get Jags to slap him for that shameless display of crawling.

Quote by neilnolongerinleeds
with apologies to missy, and to shameless gobshites everywhere :P
neil

I know he's not refering to me as I do feel ashamed of some of the gobshite I've posted. :smug: redface

13 May 2005

"Every time you say you don't believe in warwicks, a fairy dies." that old saying is one we all have grown up with, yet how can mrhypocritenolongerinleeds deny the proof of warwicks when three of them have been seen flitting in the silvery light of a full moon around SH gardens

you better be careful mr NLIL, the tooth fairy is very vindictive when she on her jam-sandwich week, she will be after you for back payments

13 May 2005

you're all a bunch of bleedin' liars . . . .

FFS 'LIL, talk about your sweeping generalizations mad

Quote by neilinleeds
example number 3 . . . on the subject of avatars.
again, looking at certain avatars, it's easy to conclude that, for instance, i have a big nose, Jas has a thing for thigh high boots and miniskirts, Kit looks rather sexy indeed in a purple basque, etc etc etc.
neilinleeds

See you proved it in your own examples - we aren't all liars :P :P :P
I love it when you start with your loony rants passionkiss

Jas
XXX

13 May 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
And yes, agree with you there Dave, there are many Vampires in Hertfordshire, just going through the Yellow Pages you can find em - Barry & Son Builders, Gordon the Plumber, Doug the Plasterer, Tarquin the Solicitor (change of name to be a posh Vampire ), not to mention unfortunate events Dave had when confronted with Stan the pedegree vendor
Bleed you dry the lot of em! :shock: But they ain't Unicorns I remember way back me and Paul told you it was the lesser spotted Rhino you saw in the depths of Hertfordshire, not a bluddy Unicorn!!! Still having none of it are ya Dave!

Ah misschief you've jogged the memory yet again by referring to this
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/12205.html
my god :shock: it took until page two before things warmed up, but by christ we covered a range of bollox in this thread.....ahh the memories...the memories rotflmao

13 May 2005

Quote by neilinleeds
once again it has come to my attention that there may be a little issue from time to time in the general area of genuine / non-genuine members and the like. being the selfless soul you all know me to be, i decided, at great expense, to do some research, in the hope that i could put this old chestnut to bed once and for all.
sadly, i have bad news to report, and my ghast has been well and truly flabbered! i was shocked to discover that, in the main, the VAST majority of members are out and out, bare-faced liars, who seem to delight in leading us right up the garden path!
let me explain, with a few examples . . .
example number one . . . on the content of posts.
a certain southern gentleman has hitherto led me to believe that Hertfordshire is a magical, twilight land of unicorns, pixies, and strawberry cordial streams, and i have for many months past longed to wander along these babbling brooks, through it's leafy glades, and with the aid of a virgin, lure one of these majestic horny creatures to me. the difficulty in actually finding a virgin did not put me off in the least.
well . . . this very weekend i found myself in herts, and d'you know what i found? the M frigging 25, a load of roadworks, and lots of low flying aircraft roaring overhead. didn't seem all THAT magical to me i must say, so i'm forced to conclude, that mr davej was talking out of his bleedin' arse! :x
example number 2 . . . on the subject of usernames.
while lots of us are as honest as the day is long, and go to great lengths to ensure that our usernames are both accurate AND descriptive, it seems many are less scrupulous. if we take, say, my name, or dawn_mids, eagerslut, easy etc etc etc, we KNOW that dawn really is from mids, eagerslut really is an eager slut, and easy is, well, easy! simple.
but what happens when you look at the likes of KcCat, Warwick, little gem, KitKat, and the like. well i can tell you now, KcKat is not a bleedin' cat at all, she's a girlie! little gem hasn't been prised from the bowels of the earth and lovingly polished till she sparkles, Warwick is neither a major conurbation, nor a mediaeval castle or three, and KitKat is not a four fingered snack. :x i'm not too sure if The_Laird and Lady Feebee are royalty at all, and as for VenusnMars, imagine my surprise to find that they are not in fact a pair of large celestial bodies orbiting the sun! i was quite disappointed. always wanted to try that astronauting malarkey. :(
example number 3 . . . on the subject of avatars.
again, looking at certain avatars, it's easy to conclude that, for instance, i have a big nose, Jas has a thing for thigh high boots and miniskirts, Kit looks rather sexy indeed in a purple basque, etc etc etc.
but . . . . does Easy look exactly like a cross between James Bond and Superman? is Warwick really a bag of marbles? ((( which is totally inconsistent with his claim to be a town / castle anyways, but we'll let that pass. ))) is Bluexxx really a multi-coloured fluffy dog with big floppy ears? is MissChief really an indian squaw, etc etc well i think not! in fact, none of 'em are anything like! :x
in short we have all been cruelly misled, and i for one demand that something be done about it. :x i'm not sure what yet, but definitely SOMETHING should be. i throw this open to you, my fellow members, in the hope that such dastardly devious deceit be stamped out forever!
neilinleeds

And O. K. is far from it !!! Don't you mean we have all been cruelly MIS - LEDED. lol

:D :P

13 May 2005

I don't know about unicorns, but you could look at this page:

As far as lying is concerned, I admit it. I don't havbe a bright red face and two horns.
M69

13 May 2005

Well mr neilnolongerinleeds
My username is true my name is carol im from scotland and im sexy (so im told wink

)
My avator was me untill i changed it the other taday lol

(but now im decieving people i supose as its not anymare)
Carol

13 May 2005

My name is acurate, my sox are indeed sexy, unfortunately they are the only sexy thing in my house, sigh.

13 May 2005

Quote by sexysox
My name is acurate, my sox are indeed sexy, unfortunately they are the only sexy thing in my house, sigh.

Somehow, just somehow, I'm not sure that's entirely true....

18 Feb 2009

ahhhh I must confess when choosing my Login name it was purely a word that makes me smile.. it has memories attached to it. I was unaware that people would use it as an adjective.
I am also unaware if it is accurate and am willing to accept any punishment meted out by Neilnotinleeds.

18 Feb 2009

oh damn...have i been rumbled
okay I confess i am actually Janet from Cleethorpes lol

18 Feb 2009

Well, Neil's still a bloody nutcase, that's for sure - regardless of the geography lol

18 Feb 2009

My name isn't technically Tan :shock: :shock: Well its not on my birth certificate anyway and as for kinky? You would have to ask someone who knew
Oh and my avator, Thats me lol

18 Feb 2009

i am a princess my daddy said so!

18 Feb 2009

I'm a DirtyGirly! :happy:
<<<< and that's me!

18 Feb 2009

I guess Mrs Goggins suited me better as I am a subpostmistress but now I'm Fluff (even though I'm regularly waxed) and he's Stuff (maybe that should be Hotstuff redface

). But then it is him that does the stuffing hump

18 Feb 2009

Well my name is real flipa

<<<<<<<<< and that really is me :giggle:

18 Feb 2009

Quote by Firelizard
Well my name is real
<<<<<<<<< and that really is me :giggle:

you are a flippin liar. rolleyes

18 Feb 2009

Quote by fluff_n_stuff
I guess Mrs Goggins suited me better as I am a subpostmistress but now I'm Fluff (even though I'm regularly waxed) and he's Stuff (maybe that should be Hotstuff ). But then it is him that does the stuffing

You could update to 'fluffer-and-stuffer' perhaps?

18 Feb 2009

Quote by splendid_
Well my name is real
<<<<<<<<< and that really is me :giggle:

you are a flippin liar. rolleyes

How rude :undecided: blink

:giggle: