Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
YY
last reply
27 replies
1.2k views
2 watchers
0 likes
Do you think of 'gurl' ... as Male or Female?
Well, really, Id consider you a female because if you are pysically a female with the exception of your reproductive organs, and you think of yourself as a female, you live and work as a female then your not really any different from us if you think about it.
I hope this helps you but there are so many stereotypes out tehre that I dont think you should let yourself be upset by the single body that asked youthis question. It is a perfectly valid question but really, it should boil down to how YOU see yourself and not what everyone else thinks.
Does that make much sense? Im tired
I hope this helps you but there are so many stereotypes out tehre that I dont think you should let yourself be upset by the single body that asked youthis question. It is a perfectly valid question but really, it should boil down to how YOU see yourself and not what everyone else thinks.
Does that make much sense? Im tired
I take people as they introduce themselves - both in Real Life, more so on here. For instance, my now ex introduced himself by his full first name - from that moment on thats what I called him, even though everyone else always called him by a shortened version. I was the only person who couldn't. Sounded like I was trying to be posh or something :lol2: but it's just how I was introduced, and how I knew him.
I call most from here by their screename in RL - not cos I can't remember real names, but cos it just sounds all wrong :shock: Very few people get called by their real name
It's just how I've got to know people, and suddenly changing what I call em is quite difficult for me :?
The same thing on here, you introduced yourself as a girl ...... I would have a real hard time if I saw you dressed as a guy - to me you would be a girl dressed up as a bloke
Sure you have more of a history than other girls, a history that you have shared with us - but it doesn't change how you introduced yourself, and how I know you as now.
Judy, hope you don't mind me mentioning you on here, but she is another example. I have only ever met Judy, that's how I know her ....... I think once again, I would struggle with meeting the other side of Judy - like he's another person or something.
It's all rather difficult to explain :dunno: I take people as how they introduce themselves to me - it's all just fine. The time I struggle is when people change (ie screenname to real names :shock: ). I remember when someone I used to work with changed her name by deed poll..... it took me a good two years before I could comfortably call her by her new name. I would do anything, wave, cough, just talk to her, tap her shoulder, anything that didn't involve saying her name cos it felt so strange :shock: Poor girl, when I think back to that I'm quite embarrassed, she was so patient with me :lol2: everyone else seemed to just adapt so easily :?
I call most from here by their screename in RL - not cos I can't remember real names, but cos it just sounds all wrong :shock: Very few people get called by their real name
It's just how I've got to know people, and suddenly changing what I call em is quite difficult for me :?The same thing on here, you introduced yourself as a girl ...... I would have a real hard time if I saw you dressed as a guy - to me you would be a girl dressed up as a bloke
Sure you have more of a history than other girls, a history that you have shared with us - but it doesn't change how you introduced yourself, and how I know you as now.Judy, hope you don't mind me mentioning you on here, but she is another example. I have only ever met Judy, that's how I know her ....... I think once again, I would struggle with meeting the other side of Judy - like he's another person or something.
It's all rather difficult to explain :dunno: I take people as how they introduce themselves to me - it's all just fine. The time I struggle is when people change (ie screenname to real names :shock: ). I remember when someone I used to work with changed her name by deed poll..... it took me a good two years before I could comfortably call her by her new name. I would do anything, wave, cough, just talk to her, tap her shoulder, anything that didn't involve saying her name cos it felt so strange :shock: Poor girl, when I think back to that I'm quite embarrassed, she was so patient with me :lol2: everyone else seemed to just adapt so easily :?
Sex God
Hi Gurl,
People on the SH site are open minded and accept all sorts of people for what they are, you just be you and be happy.
Best wishes
People on the SH site are open minded and accept all sorts of people for what they are, you just be you and be happy.
Best wishes
Quote by gurl
Hello all
Hope everyone had a reasonable Xmas and is well.
Ok…..As you can see, this is a
Well now follows one of my long sorry.
And please do not take this as a rant…..It is a genuine question that I would like answered both for myself and for any others similar to myself who might be watching in the wings, or join this community in the future.
But the thing is, I have found myself a little confused of late with some questions I have been asked by others here, about myself.
Now, you are probably thinking…well that’s to be expected…. True I guess, but I cannot help but feel a little unsettled sometimes when people ask me questions that I believe should be taken for granted.
Maybe I have got it all wrong…Perhaps I am at fault for not explaining myself fully.
As many of you are already aware I am a ‘Post Operative
That means I have completed my sex reassignment surgery. I am physically female, with the exception of course that I do not posses reproductive organs.
I live and work as a female and have changed all my legal documents to reflect this.
For those that know absolutely nothing about me…which is most of you
Well……….
I am just about to hit 46 years of age.
I am certainly not pretty in the conventional sense.
The figure isn’t too bad for my age…tall, slim’ish, bit busty.
The voice is not too deep.
Got all my own hair and teeth.
And scrub up reasonably well for an old un !!!
Anyway I will get to the point.
I was recently asked whether I should be referred to as Male, Female or some other preference of my choosing. Well at first I was not sure how to take that, but then found myself quite upset by the question.
Now this is not a dig at the person that said it…they are not the first, and probably wont be the last. They only ‘Called it, as They saw it’…. And to be honest I believe no one here should comment on something that someone else has said without knowing whom they are talking about first ….. And I am certainly not telling !!! But my apologies to that person as I am sure they will recognise themselves should they read this.
I hope either what I have said here, or the results of this Poll, helps you to make your decision.
(Assuming anyone answers the Poll)
Also, I really do not want to hear people’s opinions on what other people should or should not think. That only leads to arguments of which we have had far too many here.
What I would like to know is, what each of each of ‘You’ think about that egotistical for me to believe that anyone should have an opinion on me?
Anyway, I decided to do this as a Poll. That way no one has to put his or her opinion forward in public…. It will be completely anonymous…did I spell that right?
My apologies if I have not included an option that reflects your proferred answer.
And the choices were purely based on points that I have heard, put forward elsewhere in the past.
I know some people have problems getting their heads around the idea of Transsexuals, but unless I know what people think I am always going to be on the what they really think of me…what is said out of my hearing, am I the butt of peoples jokes and, or, something of an exotic of whom it might be interesting to experiment with sexually?
I have no real problems with that, people have a right to their opinions, but I would like to think that whatever they might think on this subject, they would be willing to accept me for what I am….
I know what I am, I did not choose to be what I I am certainly not ashamed of what I am.
- just a gurl ….. Who happens to be Transgendered.
Id say you are whoever you are most comfortable being!
Wonder if we will ever be genderless?? And if so when??
Gurl,
One of my families “Best Friendsâ€(Alway hated that saying, but its right) who I have known since I was 13 (Now 39) is now a
pre op ts, When she told us 2 years ago about the change it was a bit of a shock, but since
then my friend seems alot happier in themselves, i still do stumble occasionally by saying
cheers then mate,
after such a long time it just blurts out, but we just laugh abit and its all
forgotten, my wife and friend now have girly talks and I can honestly say my friend
appears to be happy and at the end of the day thats what counts, friends are very hard to
come by, and if people are to shallow to realise this than thats there loss, people need to
realize its whats inside that counts. I dont know you and you dont know me but I give
everyone the same chance, all the best
One of my families “Best Friendsâ€(Alway hated that saying, but its right) who I have known since I was 13 (Now 39) is now a
pre op ts, When she told us 2 years ago about the change it was a bit of a shock, but since
then my friend seems alot happier in themselves, i still do stumble occasionally by saying
cheers then mate,
after such a long time it just blurts out, but we just laugh abit and its allforgotten, my wife and friend now have girly talks and I can honestly say my friend
appears to be happy and at the end of the day thats what counts, friends are very hard to
come by, and if people are to shallow to realise this than thats there loss, people need to
realize its whats inside that counts. I dont know you and you dont know me but I give
everyone the same chance, all the best
Sex God
I have no problems at all with people changing their sex surgically, and living as other than that which they were born as.
I know personally, a transgendered woman. She looks, acts and lives as a woman. Is physically a woman and I do not see her as the male which she was born as.
However, since my daily life, part of which is as a professional genealogist, revolves around such things as birth certificates and other forms of personal identity, I have to say I do not agree at all with changing details on birth certificates to reflect the new chosen gender.
After all, one cannot possibly hope to change a historical fact and *correcting* a birth cert to show the new gender is wrong both because it *has* happened so cannot possibly be changed and because genetically you would still be the gender you were born with, so the certificate details would be a fabrication.
In this world people are open to abuse of every kind so having your chosen gender on a birth cert is only for personal reasons of embarrassment, but that would not make it *a true copy of an entry of birth* (as printed on every birth certificate issued by UK Govt.) in the births register.
It would be false in both gender and historical fact. Altering the births register to reflect this new gender still does not counter the original statement of fact, it merely seeks to give false representation.
I feel that birth certificates should be issued to the transgendered to reflect their new surgical gender to protect them from a lifetime of embarassing situations, but not by altering the original.
Secondary certificates, which look no different to any other, should be issued and with a reference to the original in the registrar's possession, as in adopted person's birth cert's.
Living as a transgendered person will of course be fraught with problems, but trying to alter history is wrong.
Tracy-Jayne
I know personally, a transgendered woman. She looks, acts and lives as a woman. Is physically a woman and I do not see her as the male which she was born as.
However, since my daily life, part of which is as a professional genealogist, revolves around such things as birth certificates and other forms of personal identity, I have to say I do not agree at all with changing details on birth certificates to reflect the new chosen gender.
After all, one cannot possibly hope to change a historical fact and *correcting* a birth cert to show the new gender is wrong both because it *has* happened so cannot possibly be changed and because genetically you would still be the gender you were born with, so the certificate details would be a fabrication.
In this world people are open to abuse of every kind so having your chosen gender on a birth cert is only for personal reasons of embarrassment, but that would not make it *a true copy of an entry of birth* (as printed on every birth certificate issued by UK Govt.) in the births register.
It would be false in both gender and historical fact. Altering the births register to reflect this new gender still does not counter the original statement of fact, it merely seeks to give false representation.
I feel that birth certificates should be issued to the transgendered to reflect their new surgical gender to protect them from a lifetime of embarassing situations, but not by altering the original.
Secondary certificates, which look no different to any other, should be issued and with a reference to the original in the registrar's possession, as in adopted person's birth cert's.
Living as a transgendered person will of course be fraught with problems, but trying to alter history is wrong.
Tracy-Jayne
Hey Gurl
I had no idea you'd been anything other than female, I only know you from your posts on the dogging section and it never crossed my mind. If I'm honest, I did pick up on you being slightly on the defensive and from your post I now understand why you might feel like that.
Anyway, you live as a woman, you now have the physicality of one and beyond that I can't say as I don't know you very well......but if you're happy then what else matters? some people who know about the op might judge you for that, some others who don't will just judge you on your dress sense or your boobs (frying pan to fire eh?
). Hopefully most people will just accept it for what it is, your life! Maybe my view is simplistic, but if you were a brunette for 30 years then became blonde, no-one would expect you to refer to yourself as a formerly brunette blonde.....so why should you need to explain this unless it's important to YOU to do so.
So in answer to your question, you're a busty female who scrubs up well and is in her prime!
I had no idea you'd been anything other than female, I only know you from your posts on the dogging section and it never crossed my mind. If I'm honest, I did pick up on you being slightly on the defensive and from your post I now understand why you might feel like that.
Anyway, you live as a woman, you now have the physicality of one and beyond that I can't say as I don't know you very well......but if you're happy then what else matters? some people who know about the op might judge you for that, some others who don't will just judge you on your dress sense or your boobs (frying pan to fire eh?
). Hopefully most people will just accept it for what it is, your life! Maybe my view is simplistic, but if you were a brunette for 30 years then became blonde, no-one would expect you to refer to yourself as a formerly brunette blonde.....so why should you need to explain this unless it's important to YOU to do so.So in answer to your question, you're a busty female who scrubs up well and is in her prime!
gurl i would say that you are female
to have gone though what you have and come out the other side is a hugh thing and dont let small minded ppl put you down.
i lost a very gd frined (pre op ts) because small minded ppl, if ppl dont understand why not ask ? iam sure there are ppl out there that would be happy to talk to them about it!
sorry for goin on!
her xx
Well I am crap at picking up obvious hints or give aways, but I always thought of you as a mysterious lady..with hidden depths...dont know why...mabey triggered by your avatar... A bit like the Brothel Owner in CSI (If anyone else watches that show they will know who I mean and know that this is not an insult...lol)...But never once did I think of you as anything other than female........ And suprisingly (to me anyway), I still do even though I have read your description above.
You go Gurl
You go Gurl
Quote by Kitty n Jack
I've never thought of you as anything but female and until reading this thread I didn't know you were post-op. Does it affect my perception? Nah, gurl's a girl as far as I'm concerned.
Neither of us (ie K and I) care what it might say one someone's birth certificate, we take the person we see in front of us at face value.
What they said.
I don't know if this comparison will offend either you or Judy, ( BIG apologies if so) but I always think of Judy as female because that's how she presents herself on here. Yes, I know you are different but I'm just trying to explain how I 'see' people.
I saw the name 'gurl' and as far as I was concerned you are a girl. Judy is a fem name, and while I know the TV on the end suggests different, it is her fem personality that is projected on here so that is how I view her.
God, I hate labels.
Whatever, gurl, as long as you are happy with who you are, that's all that matters!
Sex God
you are a woman, you've probably gone through more than me to actually 'prove' that.
I didn't actually realise that you could change your gender on your birth certificate and thought that the only way to legally change your name was by marriage or deed poll:
I didn't actually realise that you could change your gender on your birth certificate and thought that the only way to legally change your name was by marriage or deed poll
: gurl this is an area i studied quite intensively during my degree. There are some excellent articles and books written by psychologists who have worked extensively with transgender peeps. The main findings to come out of a lot of the research is that as all embryo's are female for the first few weeks following conception it's very likely that a lot of male-female transgenders should actuallty have been born female in the first place!!! and would have been had the testosterone not kicked in!!!
Guess wot i'm trying to say is that if you feel female then u are female....and anyway why do we have to label/pigeonhole people????? do i have to be labelled as straight/gay/bi or can i just be me??????
Guess wot i'm trying to say is that if you feel female then u are female....and anyway why do we have to label/pigeonhole people????? do i have to be labelled as straight/gay/bi or can i just be me??????
I'm not offended gurl! Personally I would refer to you as she/her/Ms because that is what you are, a woman. You feel like a woman, you have a womans body, you are a woman!
It is difficult sometimes if someone doesn't quite understand and feels awkward, personally I think it is more polite to ask what is a preferred way of addressing someone if you are not sure than just assuming but it does make for awkward situations. It also depends on whether you are willing to respond in a positive way or get upset that they don't just 'know' anyway.
Slightly different scenario but with similar connotations, I have a disabled child and I would much prefer it if people asked me about her than made assumptions or ignorant comments just because they didn't understand her, I would say it is similar in the sort of way that people don't understand people who are different in some way, much better to educate than have them carry on being ignorant and possibly offensive.
It is difficult sometimes if someone doesn't quite understand and feels awkward, personally I think it is more polite to ask what is a preferred way of addressing someone if you are not sure than just assuming but it does make for awkward situations. It also depends on whether you are willing to respond in a positive way or get upset that they don't just 'know' anyway.
Slightly different scenario but with similar connotations, I have a disabled child and I would much prefer it if people asked me about her than made assumptions or ignorant comments just because they didn't understand her, I would say it is similar in the sort of way that people don't understand people who are different in some way, much better to educate than have them carry on being ignorant and possibly offensive.
Hi Girl (deliberate misspelling) Finally a poll worth voting on - respect!
I'm not sure the results will convince you of how people "label" you (that's for you to decide based on your own personal experiences), but it should be enough to let you know that people (here at least) respect you enough to treat you as you want to be treated.
I must admit that I was under the apprehension that you were in fact female-born, but knowing that you weren't makes no difference to my acceptance of your life-drivers.
I would be sad to find you trying to deny who you are. It's like when people you've known to be gay for years finally admit it. Why can't they just admit it up front and get on with life? I know - it's more complicated than that - but at least we won't have that over our heads if we ever meet. I know nothing of your upbringing but I'd lay money on the fact you KNOW that nature wins over nurture every time!
Bottom line.... You feel female inside ergo you ARE female, so have a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Finally a poll worth voting on - respect!I'm not sure the results will convince you of how people "label" you (that's for you to decide based on your own personal experiences), but it should be enough to let you know that people (here at least) respect you enough to treat you as you want to be treated.
I must admit that I was under the apprehension that you were in fact female-born, but knowing that you weren't makes no difference to my acceptance of your life-drivers.
I would be sad to find you trying to deny who you are. It's like when people you've known to be gay for years finally admit it. Why can't they just admit it up front and get on with life? I know - it's more complicated than that - but at least we won't have that over our heads if we ever meet. I know nothing of your upbringing but I'd lay money on the fact you KNOW that nature wins over nurture every time!
Bottom line.... You feel female inside ergo you ARE female, so have a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sex God
Hey Hey Girlfriend, how are ya?
A good thread to start the year off. If you are asking opinions, then I have to suggest you go with what ever you feel comfortable with. You wont be able to comply with what everyone expects of you, so decide with what's deep in your heart.
Please accept honest confusion from folks, for I feel most won't want to offend. Most will just want to know what YOU are comfortable with. Just because someone is a transsexual, doesn't mean they don't wish to be seen as an individual with individual feelings and personalities!
In our time, we've had the pleasure of meeting both transsexuals and transvestites, some who discovered they were truly themselves while changing gender, and some men who just LOVED getting dolled up. I wont deny I also was cautious, only because I didn't want to offend, but if this person is honest enough and trusts me with me with such personal information, the least I can do is mirror that honesty or be courteous enough to ask simply how they want to be addressed.
Silky xxx
A good thread to start the year off. If you are asking opinions, then I have to suggest you go with what ever you feel comfortable with. You wont be able to comply with what everyone expects of you, so decide with what's deep in your heart.
Please accept honest confusion from folks, for I feel most won't want to offend. Most will just want to know what YOU are comfortable with. Just because someone is a transsexual, doesn't mean they don't wish to be seen as an individual with individual feelings and personalities!
In our time, we've had the pleasure of meeting both transsexuals and transvestites, some who discovered they were truly themselves while changing gender, and some men who just LOVED getting dolled up. I wont deny I also was cautious, only because I didn't want to offend, but if this person is honest enough and trusts me with me with such personal information, the least I can do is mirror that honesty or be courteous enough to ask simply how they want to be addressed.
Silky xxx
Sex God
Quote by gurl
Techie things confuse me
Well if that doesn't prove you're a woman, nothing will
T-J
Quote by RedHot
Techie things confuse me
Well if that doesn't prove you're a woman, nothing will
T-J
Girl - I always thought of you as female, now I know your story, I still think of you as female
I have had the pleasure of meeting Judy and sharing the most intimate contents of our handbags :wink: (Judy, hope you don't mind me saying this but, hers was far better equippped than mine :cry: )
I have worked closely with a person who is a post op ts (ouch, label!) and TBH when I first met her I really was not aware of this - she was a woman and that is how I viewed and responded to her. It was only after I had known her for a while that some one else 'advised' me
Needless to say, this person was always female to me from the moment I met her and she is still female to me now. I echo Misschiefs sentiments - somehow, people stay as they are introduced to me.
I am glad you are happy Gurl, just want to say.....................
Go Gurl :wink:
Sex God
Hope I didn't offend Gurl, thanks for making the name bit clear 
