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Funkyuk
8 hours ago
Straight Male, 48
0 miles · West Midlands
18+ Only
18+ Only
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About

About Me: Short. Fat. Bald. Ugly. No Teeth.

Suffers from several medical problems: Halitoisis. Hyperhidrosis to name but 2 beginning with H. (Not enough space to write all of them from A - Z. Sorry.)

I'll be honest, I pretty much just look at the photos on profiles.

Do you actually read them? =P

So what do you want to know? I'm a fun and honest guy - with the thickest, longest, hardest penis you're ever likely to come across! Did I mentioned it comes with a built-in G-Spot locating guidance system too?

Hmmmmm OK so maybe one of those is just slightly exaggerated. But two out of three ain't bad.

Anyway, I'll wish you 'Good luck' in grabbing my attention and ultimately being lucky enough to meet me because I can have any woman I please!

Although apparently not so far - as I haven’t pleased any of them...

To be honest, I don’t really want to put too much information on here as I can only handle one woman at a time. ;-)

So, If you want my body

And you think I’m sexy…

Come on, sugar, let me know.

P.S. After sex, you will be expected to fan me and feed me grapes…

P.P.S. Oh I almost forgot! My skin sparkles like diamonds in direct sunlight and I always put the seat down when I'm finished...

P.P.P.S. If you have no photos or vids at all on your profile, or don't include any with a message, please don't expect a reply ?

Interests

Adult parties
Anal sex
Erotic writing
Making videos
Masturbation
Oral sex
Outdoor sex
Phone sex
Role play
Same Room Swapping
Straight sex
Threesomes
Voyeurism
Watersports

Seeking

Female
Age: 18 - 48
Distance: 180 miles