Hi all. We are more into chatting than meeting these days, as chatting is easy and takes little organisation while meeting rarely seems to come to anything. That's just life, it isn't a complaint, so you won't find us in the chatroom endlessly moaning about how nobody meets - you just won't find us hugely proactive.

If you are interested in what makes us tick, do read on - if not, don't, we can't say fairer than that.

We are T (female, AKA Snowy) and A (male), a married couple who enjoy the occasional dip into the swinging lifestyle. We are looking to meet couples rather than singles - apologies to the many single men out there, but we have done our experimenting and we know what works for us, and MMF isn't it. That's the end of it, it really won't make any difference if you look like Tom Cruise and are hung like a donkey. When we say couples we don't mean two singles who swing together as we've found the social side of swinging works best with people in an established relationship. In our experience, swinging for 'fuck buddies' (especially the 'married, but not to each other' crew) is all about the sex and only the sex, which isn't the case for us. It's hard work trying to have normal, everyday conversations about holidays, hobbies, kids/pets etc, only to find that while the other couple know in intimate detail how each other's genitals work they can't remember each other's names. Saying that, we aren't looking for new friends with whom to enjoy meals out, holidays or evenings in the pub, we have our vanilla friends for that. Of course, sex is the usual culmination of an evening with another swinging couple, but it is something we prefer to do in the context of a social evening when we feel relaxed and comfortable that we have got to know the other couple as people.

Physically we would describe ourselves as average in pretty much every way. We are afraid you'll find our profile lacking in the usual profile hyperbole about how attractive, horny, sexy, fit and dirty we are. OK, Snowy makes an effort to look her best, but 'A' looks like a donkey and is hung like Tom Cruise. While we would both be delighted to shed half a stone or so, we aren't one of those couples - you've all seen the pictures - who have redefined the word 'medium' well beyond all reasonable bounds. The same story is true sexually; sex is an important part of our own relationship, and something we like to share with others, but we don't treat it as a competitive sport. We aren't shy or lacking in confidence, but have nothing to prove - we have no need to try rolling in lard or shagging a badger just to show how down and dirty we can get.

It doesn't look like we are selling ourselves too well here, maybe we need to find something to boast about! Erm... Well, we trust that you will find us friendly and approachable, articulate and well-travelled, educated and intelligent. We have a comfortable lifestyle and are entertaining and hospitable hosts. We do have a good sense of humour, but then so does everybody by their own measure; the things that people find funny can differ wildly. Our humour tends to be more dry or witty than crude, so you wouldn't find us good company if you think the pinnacle of humour is to be found in farting.

That's all about us, we haven't mentioned you - 'what we are looking for'. We've covered the balance between social and sexual but haven't mentioned more physical characteristics that might appeal to us. Average people like ourselves are good. We tend to overlook profiles that say "we are an extremely attractive, super fit and very sexy couple" - those guys have a high enough opinion of themselves already, we don't want to waste our time being their 'fat friends'. Age-wise, we guess we are looking for people of similar ages to ourselves. That isn't a hard and fast rule, but generally if you are much older than we are you'll be dead, and if you are much younger you'll think we are. While "size doesn't matter" is true when it comes to your 'assets', we have to be honest and say that neither of us is physically attracted to large body shapes. We are non-smokers, and prefer to meet other non-smokers for play. No offence intended, it's the smell of smoke we find a turn-off, we aren't taking a moral stance against smokers.

When and where... We aren't a 'scene' couple, and although we've attended them before we aren't really interested in swinging clubs or parties. We enjoy the intimacy of meeting at our home, and prefer to meet local couples. (Of course, non-local couples who like to travel are also welcome, but we are a bit uncomfortable with this since we are aware it isn't equitable.) We don't have kids, young or old, so we can all can relax without fear of teenagers coming home unexpectedly and posting sneaky videos of our antics on YouTube, and nor will there be any painful injuries caused by kneeling on rogue Lego bricks during oral sex. We do, however, have a mischievous Labrador who will shred Agent Provocateur finery in an instant, and can turn a pair of Louboutins into shapeless red goo given a bit more time in which to work - so be warned! In terms of Dutch courage, if you appreciate fine wines then we will attempt to oblige you - if you prefer to glug back tasteless PG then knock yourselves out, but we're afraid you'll have to bring your own.

We mustn't forget sexual preferences! Girlie fun is an important part of our swinging life, so 100% straight couples wouldn't really be a natural fit. A couple with an inexperienced but genuinely curious bi female is absolutely fine, but we really aren't looking for bi-reluctant, bi-bullied, bi-horrified or bi-drunk ladies who are forcing themselves into it for the delectation of their partner, as that is no fun for the majority involved. Snowy has a sensual rather than aggressive approach to girlie play, preferring stroking, kissing and oral to wildly pumping fists and scary strap-ons. On the male side, A doesn't have a bi bone in his body, and doesn't want somebody else's bi bone in his body either. Although girlie play is important to us, the 'girl on girl with men watching' meeting isn't our first choice of scenario, but we would go with that for the right couple. We are more than happy to meet 'softies', or full-swappers who don't see it as a must - we've never found full swap very exciting, so it's low down on our list of wants. We are comfortable meeting couples who are happy to go with the flow and won't be put out if full swap doesn't happen, but if you are a couple for whom penetration is a must it would be best for all of us if you passed us by.

Well, that's it. Well done, if you got this far without falling asleep you know what sort of people we are, for better or for worse. The rest is up to you...

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