Quote by flower411
I don't need you to remind me of this -or to make me do this!

Your advert for you and a friend has been removed from the site. You have a single female profile and therefore cannot advertise as a couple. If you are now using the site as a couple, please arrange for your profile to be updated. Thanks

Quote by Twojayswing
MUST be able to accomodate and live within 30 miles of Newcastle..

Quote by Phuckers
We have a site AUP (Acceptable Use Policy), which can be viewed by clicking the link at the bottom of every page.
If you spot something that may break the AUP then report it to Admin or a Mod. If you are in doubt report it anyway and point out that you are uncertain as to whether it breaks the AUP and we will check it out.
If you (I am not aiming this at any individual) resort to using abusive language, then the AUP covers this and action will be taken against you and not neccessarily against the person that caused you to be abusive, so tread carefully!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
And for the record - there are no Untouchables here!! :? :?

Quote by Sgt Bilko
We have a site AUP (Acceptable Use Policy), which can be viewed by clicking the link at the bottom of every page.
If you spot something that may break the AUP then report it to Admin or a Mod. If you are in doubt report it anyway and point out that you are uncertain as to whether it breaks the AUP and we will check it out.
If you (I am not aiming this at any individual) resort to using abusive language, then the AUP covers this and action will be taken against you and not neccessarily against the person that caused you to be abusive, so tread carefully!!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
And for the record - there are no Untouchables here!! :? :?

Quote by Sarah
I'm all shiney and happy this morning!!!!

Quote by redpantherman
...I've been confined to under the duvet with some dreadful lurgy or other.

Quote by TanKinky
cant help with the other 2 but jags is still very much alive Jags lst online 55 minutes ago

Quote by Theladyisaminx
I didnt see you putting your hat on! :doh:

Quote by Theladyisaminx
Without my Mod hat on:
Bad threads: Ones which are designed merely to provoke or offend. There have been too many recently (IMO) which are polarising the Cafe regulars and showing a great deal of intolerance for the views and opinions of others. Oh, and then there are the ones which almost 'demand' our attention cos the content is 'important' and prove to be nothing of the kind. Oh, and the ones which have a title of something along the lines of 'I need help' or 'help me' and turn out to be a very thinly disguised 'fancy a shag' thread.
Good threads: Ones which are enquiring, sharing or inclusive. Where the tone is not at all threatening or radical. Sometimes light hearted ones work well and sometimes more heavy topics pan out really well. Just depends I suppose!
With my Mod hat on:
Bad threads: Abusive, nasty, personal attacks on those who post, the 'I agree' type, those which turn into 'love shacks'/two or three people having a conversation and exclude everyone else. Some hijackings come into this as well.
Good threads: None of the above!

Quote by Djsharkbite
Hello
I opened a room today which seemed very popular.
It was open for most of day and called Cucks and sluts.
There were times when it was even over subscribed I saw 80 peeps in ther at one time.
It was then closed while Still having peeps in.
My question is, and don't want to seem disrespectfull.
Why can't I host my own room.
I must admit That when I open a room there are some people I would like to kick, but they get into most rooms and I suppose get kicked eventually.
Why can't I host my own room. I do pay to be in here.
Respectfully
John
x

Quote by bibrightoncpl
We missed out this time - can't stand West Street on a Sat night - especially heist with its expensive drinks etc.
Much better to organise somewhere a little out of the way like blue's social lasttime
x

Quote by Sarah
See I told you, you had the black rope :evil2:

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Pst, Dawnie, Sarge and Voddie, over here,
look, Jags forgot to cover the key hole, we can take it in turns having a quick perve but be very quiet or she just might hear us :twisted:

Tips for Resolving Conflict Online
What can be done to prevent unnecessary conflict in cyberspace? The following are tips for handling conflict online with respect, sensitivity, and care:
Don't respond right away
When you feel hurt or angry about an email or post, it's best not to respond right away. You may want to write a response immediately, to get it off your chest, but don't hit send! Suler recommends waiting 24 hours before responding - sleep on it and then reread and rewrite your response the next day.
Read the post again later
Sometimes, your first reaction to a post is a lot about how you're feeling at the time. Reading it later, and sometimes a few times, can bring a new perspective. You might even experiment by reading it with different tones (matter-of-fact, gentle, non-critical) to see if it could have been written with a different tone in mind than the one you initially heard.
Discuss the situation with someone who knows you
Ask them what they think about the post and the response you plan to send. Having input from others who are hopefully more objective can help you to step back from the situation and look at it differently. Suler recommends getting out of the medium in which the conflict occurred - in this case talking to someone in person - to gain a better perspective.
Choose whether or not you want to respond
You do have a choice, and you don't have to respond. You may be too upset to respond in the way that you would like, or it may not be worthy of a response. If the post is accusatory or inflammatory and the person's style tends to be aggressive or bullying, the best strategy is to ignore them.
Assume that people mean well, unless they have a history or pattern of aggression
Everyone has their bad days, gets triggered, reacts insensitively, and writes an email without thinking it through completely. It doesn’t mean that they don't have good intentions.
On the other hand, some people pick fights no matter how kind and patient you are with them. They distort what you say, quote you out of context, and make all sorts of accusations all to vilify and antagonize you. Don't take the "bait" by engaging in a struggle with them - they'll never stop. Sometimes, the best strategy is to have nothing more to do with someone.
Clarify what was meant
We all misinterpret what we hear and read, particularly when we feel hurt or upset. It's a good idea to check out that you understood them correctly. For example, you could ask, 'When you said...did you mean...or, what did you mean by...'? Or, 'when you said...I heard...is that what you meant?' Often times, what we think someone said is not even close to what they meant to say. Give them the benefit of the doubt and the chance to be clear about what they meant.
Think about what you want to accomplish by your communication
Are you trying to connect with this person? Are you trying to understand them and be understood? What is the message you hope to convey? What is the tone you want to communicate? Consider how you can convey that.
Verbalize what you want to accomplish
Here are some examples, 'I want to understand what you're saying' 'I feel hurt by some stuff that you said. I want to talk about it in a way that we both feel heard and understood' 'I want to find a way to work this out. I know we don't agree about everything and that's okay. I'd like to talk with you about how I felt reading your post' ' hope we can talk this through because I really like you. I don't want to be argumentative or blaming.'
Use 'I' statements when sharing your feelings or thoughts
For example, 'I feel...' versus 'You made me feel...'
Use strictly feeling statements
Feeling statements include saying you felt hurt, sad, scared, angry, happy, guilty, remorseful, etc. In everyday conversations, we describe our feelings differently than this. For example, we say that we felt 'attacked' 'threatened', 'unsafe', or 'punched in the stomach'. When the person upset with is not present, or able to read our words, this is an understandable way to express the full depth of our feelings and experience. Generally though, these statements are not simply feeling statements because they contain within them unexpressed beliefs. For example, you believe that you were attacked by the person, not that it just felt that way. If you want to communicate with the person involved (or they can read your words), it is best to stick to simple feeling statements otherwise they will hear you as accusing them of attacking them and be angry or upset with you. Some people get confused why other people get upset with them when they think they are only expressing their feelings; usually in these cases there were unstated beliefs expressed which the person reacted to.
Choose your words carefully and thoughtfully, particularly when you're upset
Do your best to keep in mind that the person will read your post alone. You are not physically or virtually present with them to clarify what you meant, and they can't see the kindness in your eyes. They must rely entirely on your words to interpret your meaning, intent, and tone. This is why it's important to choose your words carefully and thoughtfully. You can still be real and honest while being selective.
Place yourself in the other person's shoes
How might they hear your message? To avoid unnecessary conflict or a lot of hurt feelings, it helps to take into account who you're writing to. One person might be able to hear you say it exactly how you think it, and another person would be threatened by that style of communication. Think about the other person when writing your email or post. Do your best to communicate in a way that is respectful, sensitive, and clear to them. People often say, to do that feels like they're being controlled and why shouldn't they just write it the way they want to. Of course you can write it any way you want, especially online, but if you want to communicate with this person and have them hear and understand what you're saying, it helps to think about how they will hear it.
Use emoticons to express your tone
In online communication, visual and auditory cues are replaced by emoticons, for example, smiles, winks, and laughter. It helps to use emoticons to convey your tone. Additionally, if you like the person, tell them! Having a conflict or misunderstanding doesn't mean you don't like the person any more, but people often forget that reality, or don’t think to say it. It may be most needed during a tense interaction.
Start and end your post with positive, affirming, and validating statements
Say what you agree with, what you understand about how they feel, and any other positive statements at the beginning of your email. This helps set a positive tone. End on a positive note as well.
The Paradox of Online Communication
Handling conflict constructively is hard at the best times, and it can be even harder online. It can take a great deal of effort, care, and thoughtfulness to address differences, tensions, and conflicts online. Paradoxically, some of the same things that contribute to heightened conflict online can contribute to peaceful resolutions as well. The internet is an ideal place to practice communication and conflict resolution skills. Just as the absence of visual and auditory cues, the anonymity, invisibility, delayed reactions, and neutralizing of status free us to say what ever negative thing we want, they can also free us to try new, and more positive communication styles and to take all the time we need to do that. As with any new technology, the internet can be used to enhance our personal growth and relationships, or to alienate us from each other. It's our choice.

Quote by jimbobwill
No not checking up. and we deleted that account by mistake. and now it's not a full membership. it's just a thing we got at the moment, check the pics on both accounts it's the same two people, Honest.

Quote by jaymar
sorry but this is ringing alarm bells to me!