LordZenx's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

Join the most popular community of UK swingers now

LordZenx

Over 90 days ago

Straight Male, 54

•

Bisexual Female, 54

0 miles · Nottinghamshire

Profile Friends Follows

Groups Meets Parties Stories

Forum

8 Apr 2005

I suppose this may be in the vein of 'standard' fantasies if there is such a thing.
You know, the FHM line of all men drink beer, watch football and want to watch 2 girls together, but I think we need to clarify, are we talking watching 2 girls together or watching AND joining in lol

lol

I think in this good old repressed Britain, is the â€˜wrongnessâ€™ of 2 â€˜innocentâ€™ ladies getting down to a bit of naughtiness, it goes completely against the Daily Mail thinking. Just look how popular â€˜Tipping the Velvetâ€™ was on BBC was.

8 Apr 2005

I am a newbie here, and just wanted to say how glad I am that there is so much knowledge here.
I was a bit concerned before joining the site, as all my knowledge of swinging was the scaremongering NOTW and other tabloid stories. So I find it a great relief to find important subjects like this discussed openly and there to be such a wealth of knowledge and common-sense on the subject and not just 'pub talk'.
I am aware that within the gay community this subject is taken seriously, but am happy to find it so amongst what seems the majority of the hetro community too.
Thanks for such an interesting discussion and as they used to say on Hill Street Blues
'lets be careful out there' (Or should that be, lets be careful IN there lol

lol

)

7 Apr 2005

Quote by Up4itxxx
So not only do they protect you (not 100%, agreed, but to some extent) but in my case, they help me to be more than just a 2 (and sometimes less ) minute man!

Wow I never have the energy to do it twice !!! wink

wink

(I would like to thank Chubby Brown for the joke)
I have to do it twice because sometimes they don't notice the first time :!:
I've got to stop being so honest......... :wink:
Ahh, the assassin shag, they never know what hit them lol

lol

7 Apr 2005

Quote by Up4itxxx
So not only do they protect you (not 100%, agreed, but to some extent) but in my case, they help me to be more than just a 2 (and sometimes less ) minute man!

Wow I never have the energy to do it twice !!! wink

wink

(I would like to thank Chubby Brown for the joke)

7 Apr 2005

Erm, doesn't really work if you don't drink pints does it lol

lol

7 Apr 2005

Quote by
Apparently you can cook...well steam some foods ie:fish, in a dishwasher.
Never fancied it myself though, might be a bit soapy...yuck!

I presume it would be best not to add dishwasher powder then lol

lol

Quote by
was wondering if anyone has tried it?

Have seen someone on TV steam a salmon this way, its just a case of wrapping the item in tin foil and basically using the dishwasher as a big steamer, or so they said wink

wink

7 Apr 2005

Quote by Lil_Bunny
Who drove all the way here today to plumb my dishwasher in,:

In best 'On the Buses' voice
'I've got a dishwasher, its called her in doors' bolt

bolt

7 Apr 2005

I think the thing here to remember is choice, yes it is a choice with our lives, but it is still our choice.
I use condoms with anyone but my partner (After 12 years together we must have caught everything we each have lol

lol

).
I must say I do have a bit of an issue believing that there are not condoms big enough for all (I have a small penis so suffer no problem wink

wink

) I have seen some adult movies where the guys have extremely large sausages between their legs and still get condoms to fit.
My point is, if OK doesn't like condoms and doesn't want to use them, that is fine, and if people are happy to go bareback with him, that is fine, but he must understand that others will not agree with his position, in the same way he may question those that will not play without condoms.
Life is about risk and how we manage it. I do not want to take the risk and so use condoms. You only have to go by the recent situation in the American Adult film industry. They have in place some good testing programmes but still an actor was found to have AIDS, and stars were pulled from the sets of movies to be rechecked. Checking is good, but it only tells you you have or have not caught something, it doesnâ€™t provide any form or protection or prevention.
I have just read the whole thread and can see this is an emotive issue, but as always lets act like adults and kill each other, no I mean, respect each others beliefs even if we disagree with them.
As Voltaire said
â€œI disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say

7 Apr 2005

Afgan Hound
I read as far as 'This elegant and beautiful breed....', don't think I need to hear any more lol

lol

PS Just noticed it also states I am affectionate, good natured, intelligent - its just so accurate LMAO

7 Apr 2005

Not wanting to be the bringer of bad news hear BUT.......
I had a TV that made a sort of whining noise, did this for a bit and then blew. Turns out a capacitor within the set was making the noise before failing.
Well thats what I got told at the TV repair shop anyway confused

confused

I don't know if monitors are the same as TV's in build design, but I think best thing would be to turn off monitor when it happens, to make sure it is the monitor and maybe if it is, find someone a bit more knowledgable that us lot lol

lol

7 Apr 2005

Quote by Geordiecpl2001
Bev, Easy to explain the full condomm hanging up......Just say your very poor and can't afford to buy any new ones!!!J

Never mind the hanging up, its the bragging at having a condom full of white creamy solution, wow that must have been a session lol

lol

6 Apr 2005

Quote by bouncyx
Thats the kindest offer i've had in ooooh in the last 30 seconds lol

Glad to be original lol

lol

6 Apr 2005

I shave mine (So any ladies wishing to test smoothness are greatly appreciaited)
I did it because I only thought it fair after asking the lady to shave for smoothness below. Equal rights and all that lol

lol

And I find i don't cut my balls half as much as I cut my face shaving surprised

surprised

6 Apr 2005

Quote by
:upset: (thought this icon was the best for eye cum )

Disagree...Think your avatar is the best eye-cum icon...Look your little tongue is ready to lap up any spillage... wink

wink

Spillage !!! Always careful never to loose a drop :lol:

6 Apr 2005

Quote by bouncyx
she is my role model lol

Well if you ever need a stand in for the David Jason character I would love to put my head between your lovely breasts biggrin

biggrin

some people call me kind hearted but I like to do my bit to help out others wink

wink

6 Apr 2005

Quote by nealfiona
Hard to bescribe but anything with a sharp drop next to it, like cliff edges or the edge of a building ( i wouldn't call it a fear of heights as i love fair rides and they are high )
F

I know what you mean, thats my phobia too, it just makes my legs go all wibbly, but is worse if other people are near the edge, like my wife, I just go all cold, scared she is going to fall.
Isn't the human mind strange lol

lol

6 Apr 2005

Quote by bluexxx
or your granny might see it :doh:

Who told you about my Granny ? lol

lol

6 Apr 2005

Quote by

Serious question...
Do you get excited when you drive past a sign that says "Water Sports Centre" as I do when I go to the D.I.Y. supermarket and see there's an offer on 'Binding Tape"?
:twisted:

lol

Got some very funny looks last weekend when I was is B & Q testing the gauges of rope out on my wife redface

redface

6 Apr 2005

I hope theres no age limit, was planning to stick around for a bit lol

lol

6 Apr 2005

Out of them all I would choose China, I know its not the sex place to go, but the place is huge and to get to travel and see all the culture, sights and sounds of that place would be a great opportunity.
Only problem is China is a bit anti-porn, so watch what you take with you wink

wink

PS I apologise for adding a serious tone to this conversation lol

lol

6 Apr 2005

I just wanted to thank all those involved for a having toast discussion while I am sat at work, with no bread, toaster, or the toast extras mad

mad

6 Apr 2005

Quote by sexyjess23
I heard of a woman who got cum in her eye. Two weeks later she went to the doctors with an eye infection, he examined her and commented that she had traces of semen in her eye :shock: :shock:

How could the doctor tell, were they still swimming, or did they do a taste test lol

lol

At least the doctor didn't tell her it was the worse case of conjunctivitis he had even seen :upset: (thought this icon was the best for eye cum :lol: )

6 Apr 2005

My phobia is of edges. Heights don't bother me, but if someone stands too close to an edge, it makes me go all wibbly (Yes that is a real word :P )
I used to work with some people who had strange phobias.
One was scarred stiff by big potted plants, we all thought he was joking till we cornered him with a large Yuka.
and there was this lady who was petrified by buttons, but only if they were loose. Buttons on clothing were fine, but if one fell off ........

6 Apr 2005

Did this myself (Took the photos, not starred in them, i'm not the right material lol

lol

)
If you are going for the readers wives sort of thing, I found it better if you wrote a 'good' story, the normal easy pickings, 3 somes, double dildo sort of thing and then theme the pictures to the story, but in a realistic way. Remember to keep it sortcore, no penertration or open lip shots.
Scope out the mags and see what area your wife would fit into - Readers Wives, Sexy Teen, Big Up Top - I know its a hard job but someone has to do it wink

wink

And sadly its not a quick way of making money.

6 Apr 2005

Quote by Fun_Couple1981
On a different point. We are a new couple and been looking through photo ads of other couples and so many just show the women ??
Suppose that works if the ads for other guys, but if advertising as a couple then wouldnt mind see both lol

We asked the same sort of question recently - http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/39093.html

Quote by supermonkeyboy
Most people on here want to be discreet and may not want to send out photos to random people on the net, and so it's only fair that if they ask for a face shot that they play by their own rules and do the same...

In our advert we have blurred our faces mainly because this site is open to all, swingers or those just having a gawp. If someone makes an active response to our advert, and we like the look of them, we will of course send a face pic, but as Jas-Tim said you have a free choice to make a reply, no one is twsting your arm (Unless you ask really nicely lol

lol

)

6 Apr 2005

Quote by little gem
He had suspected as much and closed the conversation with the comment.... whatever you do, DON'T tell your mother!

Well there you go then, it could have been much worse if you mother was listening wink

wink

6 Apr 2005

Quote by generik7
'Nurse Gladys Emmanuel'????
Now thats giving your age away.

My parents told me about the show honest, I am far too youthfull to have sat and watched it every week, and in any case I didn't watch it just for the 'head in cleavage' moments, really bolt

bolt

6 Apr 2005

Quote by bouncyx
wondered why i was so popular for hugs

Hugs, Yes, thats exactly what I had in mind, honest, no word of a lie redface

redface

5 Apr 2005

Quote by bouncyx
Hope its not too lonely lol :therethere:

Thank you so much, I like to be stroked, I feel a nurse Gladys Emmanuel moment coming (Well I hope so redface

redface

)

5 Apr 2005

Quote by bouncyx
Fully recovered today firing on all cylinders
you just cant keep a good Bouncy down lol

Or up, or down, or up, or down, or up, or down, or up, or down, or up, or down silly

silly

hwoar:

lol

Yes I am in a little world of my own