Quote by lilacgem
I always thought Esso was "put a tiger in your tank"
I've still got one of the stuffed tiger tails from the 60s!
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Mac69
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 71
0 miles · Shropshire
Forum
Quote by equi-princess
I took my new car back to the garage on Saturday morning... as there is a problem with the brakes.....!!!!
The mechanic assigned to see what the problem was..... treated me like a complete idiot.... he was extremely patronising and very sarcastic....
The sarcasm i can deal with.... but why is it that men think that women know nothing about the cars that they drive???????
He even asked me if i knew how to open the bonnet????????
I was speechless.... although i'm considering a strongly worded letter to the Manager of the garage....
This ever happen to you......??????
Or is it just me ??????????????
equi-princess xxx
How DO you open a bonnet?
:lol:Quote by 3someinpreston
pmsl!!!
On Family Guy, Peter has lost a sock, and he leans into his washing machine, and there's a Goat from Narnia who runs off with his sock!!!
Same thing, different alien planet!
Makes you wonder how many wormholes there must be, doesn't it. Mind you, wouldn't that be a goat hole or something?
Quote by 3someinpreston
Garbage Disposal systems are distinctly American aren't they!?
Was the whole like some sort of portal to some ultra-clean alien society... sorry, imagination goin overboard again... :shock:
Now don't get me on to the subject of (w)holes in the kitchen.... TOO LATE!! :twisted:
I have created a theory which explains the odd socks you get from a washing machine. Did I tell you it before? NO?! Good...
On Zog, a planet the other side of a multiverse (not a long poem, note) the inhabitants have 3 legs (and so feet) but socks come in pears (whilst swingers cum in pairs). This leaves the third appendage short of a covering and so the super-dooper-high-tech-Zog scientists created a device which, when a rotating washing machine is detected on Earth, causes an inter-stellar wormhole to appear where socks matching the existing two of a particular Zogling can be sucked and transported across the cold vaccuum of space. In space no-one can hear a sock scream (for it's rightful owner).
Thus it can be seen (with a big telescope) that Zog gets socks in threes, Earthlings are left with single socks and pears grow on trees wherever they can.
Clear?
:smug:
Quote by Sgt Bilko
'ere! IT wasn't ALL copied you know. . How did you guess it wasn't true? Actually, it wasn't the cat, it was the , the, the, oh just guess!
I think the garbage disposal bit was the big clue!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I used to have a garbage disposal thingy! When it broke and became garbage it ate itself. :cry: Left a big hole in the sink, not like Wookie Hole. (notice that subtle cross-link to another thread?...)
M69
I had a bad day last Wednesday. Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable - I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. Wednesday I had a good reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too humiliating, simply saying I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day.
By then, I reasoned, I could think up a believable excuse to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitten.
On Wednesday morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife call to me from the kitchen.... "The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
I suggested she reset it herself. "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behaviour as extremely cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.
No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.
She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. Then, at the precise moment when I was most at my vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience.
I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter.... and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all.
Today I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
By then, I reasoned, I could think up a believable excuse to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitten.
On Wednesday morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife call to me from the kitchen.... "The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
I suggested she reset it herself. "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behaviour as extremely cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.
No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.
She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. Then, at the precise moment when I was most at my vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience.
I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter.... and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all.
Today I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
Hi folks, I'm back again.
I don't have a problem with ID cards; I do however start to worry with the new fuel-duty arrangements that government is talking about adopting. They will know exactly where you are (in your car) as well as everything about you. ID cards on their own is fine by me, but the two together is certainly not. The fuel idea is a c**p one anyway - far too complicated.
Mac
I don't have a problem with ID cards; I do however start to worry with the new fuel-duty arrangements that government is talking about adopting. They will know exactly where you are (in your car) as well as everything about you. ID cards on their own is fine by me, but the two together is certainly not. The fuel idea is a c**p one anyway - far too complicated.
Mac
Hi,
In itself this is nothing to worry about and is likely to be ralated to settings on your computer. When an email is sent, some mail systems do not display the header logo, but store it as just another image attachment.
If you have your mailbox set to HTML and "view images" then you should not have this problem (if I have understood it corectly) although you have a slightly less secure mail system. I presume you have ant-virus/ anti-spyware programes running?
Mac
In itself this is nothing to worry about and is likely to be ralated to settings on your computer. When an email is sent, some mail systems do not display the header logo, but store it as just another image attachment.
If you have your mailbox set to HTML and "view images" then you should not have this problem (if I have understood it corectly) although you have a slightly less secure mail system. I presume you have ant-virus/ anti-spyware programes running?
Mac
