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Oni
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 62
Straight Female, 58
Forum
maybe i did not notice :PQuote by DaveC
I have only just started using this site and have been trying through ads with a photo to arrange a meet with like minded bi-guys. I am rapidly becoming disillusioned because of the number of time wasters and idiots that seem to get off just making replies with no intention of a follow up.
Are there any long time users that can give me advice as to how long I need to be advertising before attracting genuine replies?
Suppose I am just naive in expecting people to have the same intentions and honesty as me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave
Hi Dave
Good to have you here , Sorry to hear you have had some replys from the retards, I bet the first thing they do after waking up each mid-afternoon is to extend thire stubby, urine-soaked leg from the end of the bed and switch the computer on with thier big toe. Then they go take a big shit in the bucket in the corner, farting like a foghorn at the cat as they hobble thier pegged legs past it, while contemplating if they should waste the time of Internet strangers before or after they have a breakfast can of Pork N' Beans, topped off with a big, fat slice of warm spam.
I suspect that they are, in fact, replying to you as a man/woman who hasn't had a mans/ womans touch since the midwife slapped them at birth. There are a lot of good ppl here so stick wiht it Dave ;)
regards
Oni
It is often difficult to tell the difference between someone being interested and being obsessed. However, the questions asked in private chat room messages can offer some insight into whether a person is a potential boyfriend or a potential stalker. Here are some warning signs to watch out for:
Potential Boyfriend: I like your screen name.
Potential Stalker: What is your real name, home telephone number, date of birth and social security number?
Potential Boyfriend: Where are you from?
Potential Stalker: What is your house number and exact Zip Code?
Potential Boyfriend: What type of work do you do?
Potential Stalker: Where do you work, how long have you worked there and are you cheating on me with your boss?
Potential Boyfriend: What do you enjoy doing when not working?
Potential Stalker: How many men have you slept with, you filthy, lying, cheating whore?
Potential Boyfriend: Anything interesting going on in your life?
Potential Stalker: You've slept with everyman on the Planet, haven't you?
Potential Boyfriend: How long have you used chat for?
Potential Stalker: What is your email address, ICQ and IP numbers?
Of course, you can be proactive in asking your own subtlety designed questions to trick the stalker into revealing his true self and intentions. Here are some examples:
Potential Boyfriend: I like your screen name
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: That's not my real name, and your not getting it either. You just want it to trace me and stalk me in person, right?
Potential Boyfriend: Where are you from?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: What do you want to know that for?
Potential Boyfriend: What type of work do you do?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: How long have you been a stalker, you fucking headcase?
Potential Boyfriend: What do you enjoy doing when not working?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: Do you really think that I am going to give you an itinerary and a map so that you can stalk me everywhere I go?
Potential Boyfriend: Anything interesting going on in your life?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: I've got a state-of-the-art Firewall on my computer. It's pointless you trying to hack me. Isn't that what you have been trying to do while distracting me by chatting?
Potential Boyfriend: How long have you used chat for?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: That's it, buddy! I'm reporting you to the FBI, you bunny-boiling bastard!
The downside to this method is that your potential love interest my assume that you are a paranoid schizophrenic and stop chatting to you. However, it is better to be safe than sorry
Potential Boyfriend: I like your screen name.
Potential Stalker: What is your real name, home telephone number, date of birth and social security number?
Potential Boyfriend: Where are you from?
Potential Stalker: What is your house number and exact Zip Code?
Potential Boyfriend: What type of work do you do?
Potential Stalker: Where do you work, how long have you worked there and are you cheating on me with your boss?
Potential Boyfriend: What do you enjoy doing when not working?
Potential Stalker: How many men have you slept with, you filthy, lying, cheating whore?
Potential Boyfriend: Anything interesting going on in your life?
Potential Stalker: You've slept with everyman on the Planet, haven't you?
Potential Boyfriend: How long have you used chat for?
Potential Stalker: What is your email address, ICQ and IP numbers?
Of course, you can be proactive in asking your own subtlety designed questions to trick the stalker into revealing his true self and intentions. Here are some examples:
Potential Boyfriend: I like your screen name
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: That's not my real name, and your not getting it either. You just want it to trace me and stalk me in person, right?
Potential Boyfriend: Where are you from?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: What do you want to know that for?
Potential Boyfriend: What type of work do you do?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: How long have you been a stalker, you fucking headcase?
Potential Boyfriend: What do you enjoy doing when not working?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: Do you really think that I am going to give you an itinerary and a map so that you can stalk me everywhere I go?
Potential Boyfriend: Anything interesting going on in your life?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: I've got a state-of-the-art Firewall on my computer. It's pointless you trying to hack me. Isn't that what you have been trying to do while distracting me by chatting?
Potential Boyfriend: How long have you used chat for?
Vigilant Stalker Avoider: That's it, buddy! I'm reporting you to the FBI, you bunny-boiling bastard!
The downside to this method is that your potential love interest my assume that you are a paranoid schizophrenic and stop chatting to you. However, it is better to be safe than sorry
Quote by Maia
Yes yes
but what about this spare drawer i have? I have even lined it with the fluffy stuff from my spatchcock cat's underbelly... lush or what...
I have given deep and careful consideration to whether or not I should hop in to your drawers ( sorry I ment drawer) And after three seconds of such deep and careful consideration, I decided that it will be better if you know me a bit better first
Below is a whisper I recently received while minding my own business in a chat room. Read it, and see if Im your kinda man
NaughtyNurse : Hi, are you a real Fireman?
Oni : I'm as real as Pamela Anderson's boobs. Are you a real nurse?
NaughtyNurse : sure I am
Oni : lol
NaughtyNurse : fancy typing with your left hand for a few minutes?
Oni : Pardon?
NaughtyNurse : want to caress the salami you fuckwit?
Oni : Go away, you wretched woman. I don't cyber - that's for sad losers with large boils on their bums.
NaughtyNurse : I'm sweating, let me just loosen my blouse a little...that's better
Oni : I'll tell the room.
NaughtyNurse : squeal like Ned Beatty in Deliverance if you want, no one will believe you
Oni : They believed me when I squealed on CyberGirl4U.
NaughtyNurse : cybergirl hates your fag ass, no one believed that shit
Oni : They did. I'm very well respected.
NaughtyNurse : it's really hot, let me just pop these melons out for some cool air
Oni : I bet they're smelly...sort of like toasted cheese?
NaughtyNurse : do you like woman smells?
Oni : No. They scare me... remind me of when I was 9 and kissed my grandma... and she slipped me the tongue...I cried.
Oni : <grabs Oni's head and clasps it to her bosom>
Oni : NO!
NaughtyNurse : did you not like that?
Oni : Stop that!
NaughtyNurse : whoops, my panties just slipped around my ankles
Oni : Did they?
NaughtyNurse : yes, ah that breeze is cool
Oni : Are your panties dirty?
NaughtyNurse : do you want them to be?
Oni : Yes.
NaughtyNurse : they're filthy, my husband makes me wear them for weeks at a time
Oni : <groans>
NaughtyNurse : <removes her panties from around her ankles and drapes them across Oni's monitor>
Oni : <groans>
Oni : I can't see what you are typing now.
NaughtyNurse : well, take them off the monitor
Oni : Okay, that's better.
NaughtyNurse : where did you put my panties?
Oni : I put them over on the sofa on top of some plastic. They reek of dried pig shit crusts steeped in industrial ammonia and then sprayed with elephant repellent. But I can still see them from here, and smell them.
NaughtyNurse : emm, ok
NaughtyNurse : you aren't too good at this cybering thing, are you!
Oni : How dare you! I'm brilliant at everything I do. You wretched female!
NaughtyNurse : women disgust you, don't they?
Oni : No. I love women, except my ex-wife... the heartless bitch... and Jill that slut who stomped on my heart...and Alison who cheated on me...and Mary who gave me a particularly nasty STD...and grandma...and...
NaughtyNurse : yeah, yeah...you're just a repressed fag
Oni : ...and Julia who ate my... pardon? What did you just call me?
NaughtyNurse : oh fuck off you loser, go rent a Tom Selleck movie and compare moustaches
Oni : Bitch! Slut! Vile Temptress! Harlot! Jezebel! Whore of Babylon!
NaughtyNurse has left the conversation.
Quote by davej:rotflmao:
see your gonna be useless on here all that talk of chickens and not one shite innuendo about cocks, you've no chance
but a big hello anyways Oni.
Dam your right forgot, that whould have been kinky not as kinky as a nun wearing nothing but shiny black plastic boots, swinging from a rotating ceiling fan in a convent gymnasium by means of jumper cables attached to her nipples, with a protruding string of anal beads and a sign on the end which reads: "Please use bead string to spin me manually if power fails."
Hi al l
Thought I had better say hi to you all after reading the forum.
ME:
Well heres a little about me , I from london 40 years with a GSOH ,6ft(not gona say the size of any thing else :P ), blue eyes , tattoos. I hold the World Record for Repeatedly Stepping On A Rake. A record I accidentally acquired while attempting to escape from the secure wing of The London Care Home for The Deeply, Deeply Disturbed. Unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and abject imbeciles often go astray. Thus, having distracted my care workers attention through the fiendishly clever expedient of pointing at a pigeon and saying "Oh, look! A pigeon!", I only succeeded in making nine feet of my escape across the grounds and over the wall to freedom, before stepping on a rake and having the handle of it bolt up and smack me in ther face. Dazed, I stepped back, before attempting to proceed with my escape, whereupon I stepped on the very same rake again and received another smack in the face from the handle. This pattern continued for forty-three minutes and twenty-seven seconds until my care worker regained his composure from laughing at such a hapless dolt and took me back to the secure ward. An unenviable world record, no doubt - but a world record nonetheless.
I also enjoy inventing things most of all. As a boy of 9, I observed that chickens are shortsighted and have a tendency to peck each other's eyes out. This resulted, not surprisingly, in many blind chickens. Thus, my first invention was Chicken Spectacles. This device rested on the chicken's beak and was secured to the back of the chicken's head by means of a staple gun; which, unfortunately, resulted in the deaths of many of my neighbor's chickens as I perfected my invention. After being released from juvenile prison - having served an unjust two year sentence for multiple counts of chicken homicide - I returned to my Chicken Spectacles invention and hit gold when I decided to use a rubber band to secure the Chicken Spectacles to the chicken. However, all did not end well. At age 13, I experienced my first erection and was most distressed to learn that non-blind chickens are much harder to catch.
Well thats about it for now look forward to taking part in the forum ;)
Oni
Thought I had better say hi to you all after reading the forum.
ME:
Well heres a little about me , I from london 40 years with a GSOH ,6ft(not gona say the size of any thing else :P ), blue eyes , tattoos. I hold the World Record for Repeatedly Stepping On A Rake. A record I accidentally acquired while attempting to escape from the secure wing of The London Care Home for The Deeply, Deeply Disturbed. Unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and abject imbeciles often go astray. Thus, having distracted my care workers attention through the fiendishly clever expedient of pointing at a pigeon and saying "Oh, look! A pigeon!", I only succeeded in making nine feet of my escape across the grounds and over the wall to freedom, before stepping on a rake and having the handle of it bolt up and smack me in ther face. Dazed, I stepped back, before attempting to proceed with my escape, whereupon I stepped on the very same rake again and received another smack in the face from the handle. This pattern continued for forty-three minutes and twenty-seven seconds until my care worker regained his composure from laughing at such a hapless dolt and took me back to the secure ward. An unenviable world record, no doubt - but a world record nonetheless.
I also enjoy inventing things most of all. As a boy of 9, I observed that chickens are shortsighted and have a tendency to peck each other's eyes out. This resulted, not surprisingly, in many blind chickens. Thus, my first invention was Chicken Spectacles. This device rested on the chicken's beak and was secured to the back of the chicken's head by means of a staple gun; which, unfortunately, resulted in the deaths of many of my neighbor's chickens as I perfected my invention. After being released from juvenile prison - having served an unjust two year sentence for multiple counts of chicken homicide - I returned to my Chicken Spectacles invention and hit gold when I decided to use a rubber band to secure the Chicken Spectacles to the chicken. However, all did not end well. At age 13, I experienced my first erection and was most distressed to learn that non-blind chickens are much harder to catch.
Well thats about it for now look forward to taking part in the forum ;)
Oni
