Good one polo!
I love the idea of kissing after or even licking it up......Until i have cum! Then for some reason, I am not so keen! So I guess I have to raise my hand and say, I am cum shy
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kryton
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 64
0 miles · England
Forum
A few years ago, my ex came to pick me up from town, after a night on the razz. Thought she would surprise me, wearing nothing but a pair of hold ups and a long coat. This was the same night I offered to drop a few mates off, on the way home.!! I noticed a few puzzled looks and winks ...Why the long coat, in the car? In June! 
I am sure everyone on here feels the same about this tragic disaster, Northwest-cpl are absolutely right, £15M works out to less than 25p/head, in this country. America generates 25% of the worlds wealth. Their £15M works out to less than 5p/head! Whilst we wait for our and other governments to get real, people are dying for lack of the basic commodities of life. We can make a difference, but your money is needed NOW!
Go to and give whatever you can.
Go to and give whatever you can.
Serendipity (lovely name, swore if I ever bought a new boat, I would call it that)
just picked up on this thread...I had the missfortune to be in central London the other day and drove through the Zone...I have heard since that you have to pay on the day, or face a penalty charge....How true is this?
You also say they have suspended the charge over Christmas. From when to when?
just picked up on this thread...I had the missfortune to be in central London the other day and drove through the Zone...I have heard since that you have to pay on the day, or face a penalty charge....How true is this?
You also say they have suspended the charge over Christmas. From when to when?
Hate shopping!
Like most of the rat race I have to shop after work or at week ends, I consider my time to be very valuable so Its bad enough having to deal with the blue rinse brigade, dithering about. They should not be allowed into supermarkets after 5pm Monday to Friday, or at weekends. And as for screaming brats, I don't see why they can not be tied up outside the shop along with dogs. But there is one sub division of the Human race, worse than oldies and young breeders....The 'I've just been cut off from mummies apron strings, now live in a bed sit, so this is what a supermarket looks like, now, where are the bake beans, Oh is that my trolley that is completely blocking the aisle,mm I don't have enough money, can I put this back, university student.
Tomorrow's movers and shakers?
God help us.
Like most of the rat race I have to shop after work or at week ends, I consider my time to be very valuable so Its bad enough having to deal with the blue rinse brigade, dithering about. They should not be allowed into supermarkets after 5pm Monday to Friday, or at weekends. And as for screaming brats, I don't see why they can not be tied up outside the shop along with dogs. But there is one sub division of the Human race, worse than oldies and young breeders....The 'I've just been cut off from mummies apron strings, now live in a bed sit, so this is what a supermarket looks like, now, where are the bake beans, Oh is that my trolley that is completely blocking the aisle,mm I don't have enough money, can I put this back, university student.
Tomorrow's movers and shakers?
God help us.
A few repeats I know, but a few new ones as well
BOMB disposal experts' wives. Keep hubby on his toes by packing his lunchbox with plasticine and an old alarm clock.
OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.
A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity.
BUS DRIVERS. Pretend you're an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.
They forgot to have the driver emulate the sound of an airplane engine by periodically blowing raspberries.
FOOL other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and jumping the curb.
DRILL a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.
SAVE gas by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.
SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
LOSE weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning and illness enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.
WHEN throwing someone a sharp instrument such as a Stanley knife, or kitchen knife, always throw it blade first as they invariably tend to turn whilst in the air.
AVOID being wheel clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the trunk until you return.
SMELL gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
TAXI drivers. Why not pop into the garage and ask them to fix your turn signals for you so that other motorists know where the hell you're going.
SENIOR CITIZENS. Try sitting on a pile of encyclopedias next time you go for a drive in your car. That way you will be able to see out of the front window.
OLD contact lenses make ideal 'portholes' for small model boats.
INCREASE the life of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in the garage.
TAKE your trash can to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently used up.
MAKE shopkeepers feel like criminals and con men by carefully checking their change and holding bank notes up to the light before accepting them.
SAVE on charity donations by spending a dollar on clothes at a charity shop, then selling them for 50 cents to another charity shop. This way you can give twice as much, at half the cost. I think.
EXPENSIVE hair gels are a con. Marmalade is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.
APPLY red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).
KEEP the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.
MAKE bath times as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog turd into the bath.
PEOPLE whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty 'Toblerone' chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. Just tell the interviewer that you wish to find something more meaningful to do in life now that you've made your fortune.
PUTTING just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.
BOMB disposal experts' wives. Keep hubby on his toes by packing his lunchbox with plasticine and an old alarm clock.
OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.
A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity.
BUS DRIVERS. Pretend you're an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.
They forgot to have the driver emulate the sound of an airplane engine by periodically blowing raspberries.
FOOL other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and jumping the curb.
DRILL a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.
SAVE gas by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.
SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
LOSE weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning and illness enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.
WHEN throwing someone a sharp instrument such as a Stanley knife, or kitchen knife, always throw it blade first as they invariably tend to turn whilst in the air.
AVOID being wheel clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the trunk until you return.
SMELL gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
TAXI drivers. Why not pop into the garage and ask them to fix your turn signals for you so that other motorists know where the hell you're going.
SENIOR CITIZENS. Try sitting on a pile of encyclopedias next time you go for a drive in your car. That way you will be able to see out of the front window.
OLD contact lenses make ideal 'portholes' for small model boats.
INCREASE the life of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in the garage.
TAKE your trash can to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently used up.
MAKE shopkeepers feel like criminals and con men by carefully checking their change and holding bank notes up to the light before accepting them.
SAVE on charity donations by spending a dollar on clothes at a charity shop, then selling them for 50 cents to another charity shop. This way you can give twice as much, at half the cost. I think.
EXPENSIVE hair gels are a con. Marmalade is a much cheaper alternative, but beware of bees in the summer.
APPLY red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).
KEEP the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.
MAKE bath times as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog turd into the bath.
PEOPLE whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty 'Toblerone' chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. Just tell the interviewer that you wish to find something more meaningful to do in life now that you've made your fortune.
PUTTING just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.
You know, this morning I was cleaning one of my many
assault weapons and the damn thing just went off through the wall and
hit my neighbor in the leg. Fortunately, that's a common occurrence
here, so it's only a misdemeaner (littering ammo and shells) - he liked
the ride to the ER, anyway. Then I got on my bulletproof vest and
helmet and went out for a walk, and of course took along my Mattel(r)
M16A1 (cheap plastic piece of shit, and it jams too much, but it's
light, vaguely accurate, and the ammo's cheap) and mounted grenade
launcher in case I came across any birds that hadn't been shot yet, oh,
and the .44 magnum and the sawed-off Remington(r) shotgun under the
trenchcoat, of course. It was such a beautiful day, with the smell of
gunpowder in the air and the rattle of gunfire down the street, that I
got a quadruple supremo latte and gulped it down. Well, after that much
caffeine it was just a matter of time before that bastard neighbor's
annoying cat met an unhealthy end... Fluffy mighta fried up good and
nice, but of course we only eat McDonald(r)'s and Burger King(r) here.
Shame to waste that meat, I tell ya, since hunting *IS* the only valid
reason to have an assault rifle.
assault weapons and the damn thing just went off through the wall and
hit my neighbor in the leg. Fortunately, that's a common occurrence
here, so it's only a misdemeaner (littering ammo and shells) - he liked
the ride to the ER, anyway. Then I got on my bulletproof vest and
helmet and went out for a walk, and of course took along my Mattel(r)
M16A1 (cheap plastic piece of shit, and it jams too much, but it's
light, vaguely accurate, and the ammo's cheap) and mounted grenade
launcher in case I came across any birds that hadn't been shot yet, oh,
and the .44 magnum and the sawed-off Remington(r) shotgun under the
trenchcoat, of course. It was such a beautiful day, with the smell of
gunpowder in the air and the rattle of gunfire down the street, that I
got a quadruple supremo latte and gulped it down. Well, after that much
caffeine it was just a matter of time before that bastard neighbor's
annoying cat met an unhealthy end... Fluffy mighta fried up good and
nice, but of course we only eat McDonald(r)'s and Burger King(r) here.
Shame to waste that meat, I tell ya, since hunting *IS* the only valid
reason to have an assault rifle.
Or maybe......
11. My car caught on fire on the way to work so I can't make it in.
12. My car ran out of petrol on the way to work. I was pushing it to a petrol station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctors.
13. My cat got ran over by a motorcycle and I need to take it to the vet.
14. My boyfriend hit me over the head with a speaker and I'm kind of messed up.
15. I was stepping down out of my trailer and I missed the step and when I landed on the ground I messed up my back.
16. Called in on Tuesday I won't be able to come to work for the rest of the week. My shrink put me on a depressant pill yesterday and I was up all night wired. I'm in zombieland right now and I don't want to drive in fear of an accident, or run the machines in fear of getting hurt or dismembered. I need the rest of the week off cause my body needs to adjust to the medication. So I need the last three days as vacation days because I've missed too much time already and I can't afford to miss anymore .
17. I won't be in today or Ever Again. I've found a way to earn money by staying at home working on my puter. I'm tired of getting paid for punching a time clock, working my but off on a J.O.B (Just Over Broke) 9 to 5 and retiring with $ 0 in my bank account, forced to live of the Government and taxpayers. If you want to know what I'll be doing, send an email to: Hooray! Freedom at Last!
18. Tom Robbins says: "any one who goes to work everyday... everyday... IS sick! so, 'call in well' to work today!
19. Had to be rushed to hospital for coffee burns on my lap be in tomorrow!
20. I cant come to work today because the council are paving my street and I cant get out!
11. My car caught on fire on the way to work so I can't make it in.
12. My car ran out of petrol on the way to work. I was pushing it to a petrol station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctors.
13. My cat got ran over by a motorcycle and I need to take it to the vet.
14. My boyfriend hit me over the head with a speaker and I'm kind of messed up.
15. I was stepping down out of my trailer and I missed the step and when I landed on the ground I messed up my back.
16. Called in on Tuesday I won't be able to come to work for the rest of the week. My shrink put me on a depressant pill yesterday and I was up all night wired. I'm in zombieland right now and I don't want to drive in fear of an accident, or run the machines in fear of getting hurt or dismembered. I need the rest of the week off cause my body needs to adjust to the medication. So I need the last three days as vacation days because I've missed too much time already and I can't afford to miss anymore .
17. I won't be in today or Ever Again. I've found a way to earn money by staying at home working on my puter. I'm tired of getting paid for punching a time clock, working my but off on a J.O.B (Just Over Broke) 9 to 5 and retiring with $ 0 in my bank account, forced to live of the Government and taxpayers. If you want to know what I'll be doing, send an email to: Hooray! Freedom at Last!
18. Tom Robbins says: "any one who goes to work everyday... everyday... IS sick! so, 'call in well' to work today!
19. Had to be rushed to hospital for coffee burns on my lap be in tomorrow!
20. I cant come to work today because the council are paving my street and I cant get out!
Hmmmm how about......
1. I won't be in today. My fish is sick and I need to take it to the vet.
2. My neighbor's daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help her get it out.
3. I won't be in today because I have come down with Spring Fever.
4. I fell off a ladder fixing the roof on my house and I landed on my elbow.
5. Last night in San Francisco I was attacked by a gay guy who didn't like the remarks I made about him and he hit me in the face and broke the windshield of my car with a small bat that I tried to hit him with.
6. I have a head ache.... # 22...actual times someone at work has called in with this excuse!
7. I don't think I'll be in work for awhile. Yesterday I was riding my son's BMX bike and I fell and broke my ankle it two places and I'm in the hospital.
8. I won't be in today. I'm still drunk from last night.
9. I'm not coming in because I need a mental day.
10. Last night we had a party and I woke up with a strange man in my bed!
1. I won't be in today. My fish is sick and I need to take it to the vet.
2. My neighbor's daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help her get it out.
3. I won't be in today because I have come down with Spring Fever.
4. I fell off a ladder fixing the roof on my house and I landed on my elbow.
5. Last night in San Francisco I was attacked by a gay guy who didn't like the remarks I made about him and he hit me in the face and broke the windshield of my car with a small bat that I tried to hit him with.
6. I have a head ache.... # 22...actual times someone at work has called in with this excuse!
7. I don't think I'll be in work for awhile. Yesterday I was riding my son's BMX bike and I fell and broke my ankle it two places and I'm in the hospital.
8. I won't be in today. I'm still drunk from last night.
9. I'm not coming in because I need a mental day.
10. Last night we had a party and I woke up with a strange man in my bed!
Hmmm this is more complex than a lot of people realise.
How good are your DIY skills? and how old is the car and for that matter what make of car is it?
For instance if its a Alfa Romeo, you will have problems finding something on the car not rusted to bond the repair to.
More information required.
How good are your DIY skills? and how old is the car and for that matter what make of car is it?
For instance if its a Alfa Romeo, you will have problems finding something on the car not rusted to bond the repair to.
More information required.
