We're a late 30's couple who've hit that point where we'd like to be a touch experimental. Primarily looking for a couple or solo bi-fem.

Getting into this gently, so pushy people will be pushed off!

Sense of humour required, if you can't have a giggle, don't walk through the door! No po-faced people, please.

Those looking for endless chat and exchange of pictures, walk on by - we're just not that patient! We're not looking for the kind of getting to know you's that would of made a Victorian boyfriend go postal.

Neither are we interested in:

a) Cam chat - I work all day in front of this, my spare time doesn't include a computer or keyboard, and we have children in the house.

b) Endless demands for pervy pics.

c) A thousand and one text messages.

d) We have children and arrangements have to be made, so no sour faces because you can't bump flesh on the same night.

*SINGLE MEN* - please do not waste valuable calories by pecking away at the keyboard, in the vain hope you're going to get your end away. Will Not Happen.

Please bear in mind that the female of this double equation suffers from dyslexia, so you'll more than likely be talking to the male. If you can't deal with this, pass on by!

Male is 39, 6ft slim and reasonably toned. Not Dirk Diggler, but well above the British average in the joy department. Hairy in the right places.

Female is 37, fit bod, size 10 and very pretty. Also a bit of a short arse at 5ft 2", loves to be thrown around the bed and a proper screamer.