WE AREN'T LOOKING FOR A STRAIGHT GUY SO PLEASE DON'T MESSAGE US. NO STRAIGHT GUYS. NO STRAIGHT GUYS. 

We often log on separately, so when one of us reads a message we mark it as unread, this is so that the other person knows to read it.

Please read our profile, otherwise you are just wasting your time. At the moment we are only looking for a bi or curious guy to put on a show for Mrs R who would like to see Mr R get fucked. Please make at least some effort with a message but just in case you can't be bothered, here are the responses to what you will probably send.

How are you? - Alive at least so there's not been a nuclear war yet.

What are you up to? - Reading your dull message which is about to be deleted.

Doing anything interesting this weekend? - Not sure but whatever it is it won't involve you if you can't be arsed to send a decent message.

Hello. We are a happily married couple looking for some new sexual adventures.

We are pretty broadminded, although the internet is a pretty big place and there are some things that are way beyond what our minds can conceive. We are both bi-curious although Mrs A is very keen on seeing Mr A put on a show with another guy and Mr A would like to oblige.

We are interested in threeway fun although this will depend on who we feel comfortable with, so it may just be Mr A that plays initially and we will only meet as a couple.

We are more than happy to receive messages from couples, however we aren't ready to meet for a full swap just yet.

So what kind of guys are we looking for?

We may well come across as swinging snobs here and may be a little picky, but lets be realistic. If you look and speak like someone who wouldn't be out of place on the Jeremy Kyle Show, then you aren't really the kind of guy that we are hoping to meet.

We have an age range but that isn't set in stone. If you are well presented, know what a bar of soap is and can hold a decent conversation then feel free to message us.

Please have your own hair and teeth, don't be a chav and if you have a beard then it a big turn off so your message may well be wasted. It's 2016 so manscaping is pretty common and we prefer guys to be trimmed or shaved at least.

Non-smokers only please and if you look like you should be living under a bridge then we aren't likely to respond (yes it is a bit shallow).

No beer bellies either. You don't need to be a gym bunny but if you are overweight then you are unlikely to be for is.

We aren't really looking to meet any 'camp' gay guys either but straight acting is fine.

So, if we haven't ruled everyone on here out, then why not message us and tell us what your perfect meet would be. Please send a face picture along with any others that you choose to send. Please start messages with the subject 'Monty Python' so that we know that you have read our profile. If your picture looks like it was taken using a potato then why bother. Likewise if we can't see what your face looks like because you have sunglasses on or if its from 200 meters away. You may as well be wearing a Burqa so we will just delete you

Fantasies? Well we all have them don't we. We are happy to hear yours or what your ideal meet with a couple like us would be. Mr R would love to be underneath Mrs R whilst she's being fucked and she has always wanted to try double vaginal too and DP. She would also like to be fucked by Mr A whilst he is being fucked by a guy.  We are interested in cuckolding too but certainly not the humiliation part. Mr R would love to see her riding a guy with a large cock whilst looking him in the eyes so he can see how much she is enjoying it. Maybe someone can help us live out a few of these sometime soon.

PLEASE REMEMBER TO SEND PICTURES WITH YOUR MESSAGE, MANY ARE FORGETTING TO DO SO.

WE DON'T ACCEPT RANDOM FRIENDS REQUESTS EITHER!

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This is Mr. It's easier to chat on [removed] and track conversations especially as a three way. Mrs will be added if Mr sees fit. Remember to send a picture of what your look like and your fab profile name.

If we don't message you back then we aren't being rude, we simply have too many messages and can't respond to everyone.