i'm happy to exchange sex for somewhere to sleep, or i have to sleep on the floor of my shop tonight!
(only sex with women though!)
save me!
james
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wantonjames
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 46
Forum
how many total computer geeks are there on this forum then?
it seems like a fairly impressive showing!
bet none of them are girls
not that i dont wish some were!
its rare to find anyone who know what the hell you're on about...
i wrote BBC BASIC on the B+ from age 8 till 12 then BASIC V till 14 then ARM assembler for a while then Pascal / 286 assembler then JAVA at university then the inevitable tedious slide into CGI/PHP/MySQL
Computers used to be fun and exiciting till MS killed diversity, but soon OSS will kill MS and all will be well......
it seems like a fairly impressive showing!
bet none of them are girls
not that i dont wish some were!its rare to find anyone who know what the hell you're on about...
i wrote BBC BASIC on the B+ from age 8 till 12 then BASIC V till 14 then ARM assembler for a while then Pascal / 286 assembler then JAVA at university then the inevitable tedious slide into CGI/PHP/MySQL
Computers used to be fun and exiciting till MS killed diversity, but soon OSS will kill MS and all will be well......
Quote by fluffer
do they deepthroat
so fluff, what's your insertion of choice? animal, vegetable or mineral?
why do I have to make a choice when its perfectly reasonable to accept all three!
what like robocop holding a cucumber?
that's not 3! maybe robocop holding a cucumber AND a small piece of his alien craft?
it is 3! robocop is animal and mineral. i couldnt think of anything that was a combination of vegetable and anything else, so it had to be a cyborg holding a vegetable.
ok take this AS A JOKE, but it's still funny......
some bloke has a sex change and gets turned in to (obviously) a girl - he goes into the pub and tells all his mates about it, and they're all incredulous:
one mate says - what hurt the most? having your boobs fitted?
he says no.
the next mate says:
having your dick removed?
he says no.
the next mate says:
was it having your balls removed?
he says no.
so what was it? they say...
the most painful thing was having my brain removed.
Disclaimer, just in case:
i dont actually think women have no brains... it's just a piss take. it's funny becuase it's stupid.
some bloke has a sex change and gets turned in to (obviously) a girl - he goes into the pub and tells all his mates about it, and they're all incredulous:
one mate says - what hurt the most? having your boobs fitted?
he says no.
the next mate says:
having your dick removed?
he says no.
the next mate says:
was it having your balls removed?
he says no.
so what was it? they say...
the most painful thing was having my brain removed.
Disclaimer, just in case:
i dont actually think women have no brains... it's just a piss take. it's funny becuase it's stupid.
the way i heard it MS bought an os called QDOS (Quick and Dirty Operating System) that was a lash up by some other start up in the 80's and then resold it as a commercial product.
thus began their illlustrious reign of selling undercooked crap to morons, whilst simultanouesly forcing intelligent people to suffer their "innovations" by blackmailing and coercing ligitimate competition with attack-lawyers, lies and bribery.
that said, win2k (the first remotely stable version of NT which was itself stolen code from VMS) is tolerable and i've been using it since 2001 without the need to reinstall till my motherboard fried a month ago.
i've used XP and have found it like a kind of top heavy bloatware that dumps a turgid layer of (traditionally for MS) half baked "stylish design" on top of the perfectly acceptable 2k user interface at the expense of needing a multi GHz processor and more than half a Gb of RAM to get it to respond in a non-frustrating manner.
I run win2k at work on my old K6-2 500 with 384Mb and it's fine. If microsoft want to donate an Athlon 64 X2 4000 for me to be able to run the next pointless round of space wasting colourful desktop themes then i might consider upgrading.
all the "innovative" features MS promised for "Longhorn" have been sidelined exactly the way they were when they were promised for win2k all those years ago. ie, WinFS.
"vista"s only feature is built in DRM which allows microsoft to shoehorn its way into the RIAA and start extorting money from the general public in yet another innovative and disgusting way.
still, google are really pissing on MS's bonfire at the moment and its only a matter of time till open source software eliminates their sickening influence on the computing world.
rant over
thus began their illlustrious reign of selling undercooked crap to morons, whilst simultanouesly forcing intelligent people to suffer their "innovations" by blackmailing and coercing ligitimate competition with attack-lawyers, lies and bribery.
that said, win2k (the first remotely stable version of NT which was itself stolen code from VMS) is tolerable and i've been using it since 2001 without the need to reinstall till my motherboard fried a month ago.
i've used XP and have found it like a kind of top heavy bloatware that dumps a turgid layer of (traditionally for MS) half baked "stylish design" on top of the perfectly acceptable 2k user interface at the expense of needing a multi GHz processor and more than half a Gb of RAM to get it to respond in a non-frustrating manner.
I run win2k at work on my old K6-2 500 with 384Mb and it's fine. If microsoft want to donate an Athlon 64 X2 4000 for me to be able to run the next pointless round of space wasting colourful desktop themes then i might consider upgrading.
all the "innovative" features MS promised for "Longhorn" have been sidelined exactly the way they were when they were promised for win2k all those years ago. ie, WinFS.
"vista"s only feature is built in DRM which allows microsoft to shoehorn its way into the RIAA and start extorting money from the general public in yet another innovative and disgusting way.
still, google are really pissing on MS's bonfire at the moment and its only a matter of time till open source software eliminates their sickening influence on the computing world.
rant over
Quote by duncanlondon
I got a bit involved one session and began to pump out a series of fanny farts. Quite achievable. Whilst I was lost in my moment of boyish stupidity, the woman had also noticed.
When I next looked at her deadpan face, she just said 'can you stop that please'. Whereupon I went red faced and muttered a feeble apology.
hahahhaathat's hysterical.....
comedy genius
Quote by duncanlondon
I made out with a chinese woman for a while. She had a peculiar habit.
As she orgasmed she held her breath and various complicated things. The result was that she farted from both ears.
Not exactly very thrilling or desirable. Just really really silly.
rofl
:lol: :lol: hahahaha
what a brilliant anecdote. really surreal. the dry philosophical delivery made me laugh out loud a lot :lol:
i just remembered the last film that actually terrified me - the ring! oh yeah and the grudge (not the american remakes)
they actually made me proper terrified - like when you're a kid and you think there's a ghost in your room - your heart is pounding and your skin is crawling and you can't open your eyes....
horrifying :shock:
they actually made me proper terrified - like when you're a kid and you think there's a ghost in your room - your heart is pounding and your skin is crawling and you can't open your eyes....
horrifying :shock:
Quote by KitKat:shock: You wipe your arse with a lighted candle? :shock:
Take a lighted candle and hope I don't fart too much and cause an explosion.
hahahah lol
that's funny
have you ever seen happy gilmore? there's a brilliant line in it where the villain goes "i eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast" and happy gilmore goes "you eat peices of shit for breakfast?!?"
it's all in the delivery of course, but you reminded me of that and made me laugh a lot!
the link was removed before i had a chance to read the article that this thread is about but, i wonder what would happen to you if you did become completely chaste - i.e, not even any wanking?
my mother was a jehovah's witness and if you want crazy christian fundamentalist literal interpretations of the bible then they're your one-stop shop.
as i recall they even declare that wet dreams are your own fault and give some irresponsible advice on how to suppress them.
luckily when i grew up i realised what a bunch of gibberish it was before it did me any harm, but i wonder if there are any scientific studies that test what happens to men if they dont ejaculate for long periods of time?
it sounds like the kind of test the U.S. army would do for no particular reason.....or maybe i've been watching too many films ;)
what about women? do any ladies on here suffer ill effects from orgasm starvation?
my mother was a jehovah's witness and if you want crazy christian fundamentalist literal interpretations of the bible then they're your one-stop shop.
as i recall they even declare that wet dreams are your own fault and give some irresponsible advice on how to suppress them.
luckily when i grew up i realised what a bunch of gibberish it was before it did me any harm, but i wonder if there are any scientific studies that test what happens to men if they dont ejaculate for long periods of time?
it sounds like the kind of test the U.S. army would do for no particular reason.....or maybe i've been watching too many films ;)
what about women? do any ladies on here suffer ill effects from orgasm starvation?
Hi
I've just joined up - I'm on the Isle of Wight. Naturally I'm looking for some rampant action but it would also be nice to make some open minded friends.
I've done some rummaging through the forum and founds lots of posts with people lamenting the lack of action on the Island. I'm up for livening things up
Is any one going to the Bestival this weekend? I'm not one for dance music, but it is supposed to be a really nice relaxed atmosphere. I'm in the festival kind of mood since I've been to two in as many weeks, so one more can't hurt!
james
I've just joined up - I'm on the Isle of Wight. Naturally I'm looking for some rampant action
but it would also be nice to make some open minded friends. I've done some rummaging through the forum and founds lots of posts with people lamenting the lack of action on the Island. I'm up for livening things up
Is any one going to the Bestival this weekend? I'm not one for dance music, but it is supposed to be a really nice relaxed atmosphere. I'm in the festival kind of mood since I've been to two in as many weeks, so one more can't hurt!
james
