You know, one of the worst parts of starting a connection, is keeping it going. The number of times that the initial conversations start like there's real fire, to only be followed the next day by cool recognition, if that. It's like either a wicked game that someone played, someone with time on their hands, with nothing better to do. This, wasn't like that. Day 2 barrelled along like the initial contact. The chatter was filled with curiosities, wanting to know this, that and the other, punctuated by needing to sort out youngsters. The main, underlying emphasis, from her, was being scared, worried, insecure about what she was potentially letting herself in for. It was only natural. She'd read about bdsm, and knew what it should be about, but this dom she was sort of with, just demanded the whole time. Demanded that she should be skimpily clad and show parts of her anatomy off, and not considering that she was running around like a blue arsed fly, doing a thousand and one other things, and defending herself from the bf/partner. "Is that what you'll be wanting the whole time?" " How do you mean? "H "Me, showing my tits to you the whole time?" " Is that what gets you off? Is that what you want from a dom? " "Stuff it!! No!!" More talking. Slowly, she came to the realisation that she could say what she wanted, and that she was being listened to; that her words and thoughts were driving the conversation. "So what will you do to me?" " What do you want me to do to you, or with you? " "I don't know. I've never been sure that I could choose. The porn I watch shows guys being heavy handed with their subs...and like I kinda got the impression that that's what happened, all the time." " And you liked seeing that happen? "A "Some, yeah." " Porn isn't real. It might show ideas, and what people could get up to. But it never shows you all the training, explaining, building trusting confidence between them. Like, if you like the look of someone being spanked, and you felt that you'd like that, I wouldn't just coldly spread you across my lap, pull your pants down and beat the living daylights out of you, never having done that before with you. " "Really?" " If we haven't talked about something, expressed an interest in it, haven't looked at and handled tools or gloves, or whatever's involved n a potential scene, then it's not done. We talk, discuss, check things out, try something gently, keep checking in to see how it feels, reacting to comments, or safe wording. Any thing that's not got consent, could be seen as abuse, or bullying. " She felt better for the words. Felt that she would be taken notice of and could stop what was happening, by safe wording. She said she wished her bf would stop his tirade of abusive language and hitting her. She explained about what he did sometimes in front of their three year old. The toddler should never be exposed to what it saw. But even with my words of concern, felt like I was interfering. But did she tell me, so that she got a reaction that she was hoping for; supportive concern? She eventually felt, after a week or two of growing more and more interested that she was coming to terms with her desires, needs and fantasies. The conversations had been wild, heady and deep, at times, as imagination ran and ran, like a cartoon character on a long piece of elastic, until it reached the end. To say that she was becoming like a kid in a toyshop, was an understatement; that's how much she wanted to explore herself...to go down the rabbit hole and find that parallel lifestyle.