THERE’S A LOT OF ME ABOUT - Part 1
So here we are again with another sex-romp, this time (hopefully) a romantic one.
This one is yet another light story, a fun form of prose with plenty of comedic elements HOWEVER much of it is based on my experiences in life as someone who is constantly mistaken for other people. And the beginning of the “Kate’s mum” story is 100% true.
Also Barbara is partly based on one of my readers. Hopefully they won’t be insulted by what’s been written (it is a kind gesture after their kind comments).
Enjoy.
Part One.
SEND IN THE CLONES
“How come you didn’t say hello to me?” Sheila asked as I chomped on my cereal during lunch. I tried to recall when I had ignored her but my mind found nothing as it searched back through my life’s history.
“When?” I asked as I finished a mouthful of crunchy-nut in the staff kitchen as Sheila, an older woman in her mid-fifties with dyed red hair and a bosom that seemed like it was being given plenty of support by a structurally engineered bra, and Kat, a woman around my age (I think she was 28, whilst I was 30) with this blonde bob hairstyle I always found devilishly attractive, were all crammed in the tiny area allocated to staff lunches, the two of them prepping their microwave dishes.
“In Edward’s Square. You were sitting there, eating sandwiches whilst feeding the birds. Remember?” Sheila pressed. I wanted to remind her that ‘when’ and ‘where” were not the same thing but I realised what she was describing was something I’d never done.
“Sorry, Shea, wasn’t me!” I replied with a nonchalant shrug.
“Bullshit!” Sheila spat, angrily. “It WAS you! You had your blue shirt with no collar, your stupid grey pants and your leather jacket. It WAS you!”
“Sorry, no,” I corrected her again, only to be met with a furious look of annoyance at my inconvenient answer. “What can I say, there’s a lot of me about, apparently”.
“Fine!” Sheila replied back, resentfully. “I should have known it wasn’t you actually,” Sheila continued. “That woman you were with was WAY out of your league”.
“HA! That’s you told!” Kat giggled, at Sheila’s comment.
“Well if he looked like me then presumably I could pull her,” I fought back after taking that comment to heart.
“Nah. Upon reflection I think he probably was better looking than you,” Sheila replied, before taking her microwaved, coated chickpeas back to her desk, leaving me feeling angry and Kat chuckling at my angst.
“Jesus Christ! At the start of that conversation we looked the same, yet by the end of it I was Paul Dani and he was Brad Pitt!” I raged, causing more giggles for Kat as I shook my head in annoyance.
“It is funny in a way though,” Kat remarked as she stirred her mug-shot.
“How so?” I queried, as I finished off my delicious cornflakes.
“Well, clearly there are versions of you out there having a lot more fun than you’re having at this moment in time,” Kat stated. I considered this for a second and she was right. Whenever I’d hear about some supposed other me out there they were inevitably doing some cool shit like riding the London eye, or in the queue for Oblivion, or driving a Maserati. These other me’s certainly knew how to live. “You know, you should find a way to take advantage of that”.
“You know something…you’re right. I should,” I surmised. “Thanks, Kitty-Kat”.
“Hmmm,” she replied as she took her mug-shot and left me alone to ponder just how I’d manage to take/make the best of my many doppelgängers better lives.
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The day rolled around of dreary office work that paid very little and took even less effort and concluded with little fanfare but always more to do. I wandered through town feeling empty as I did every day, Kat’s laughter at my ridiculous plight echoing hollowly in my ears till a different sound replaced it.
“Lewis?!” a woman shouted behind me. I turned around and stared as two older ladies in their forties or maybe even fifties walked over to me. I stared at them blankly as they headed my way. They knew my name but I had no idea who they were.
“Lewis, it is you!” the older of the two spoke. Both women were slightly overweight, one with dyed-brown hair, the other a blonde with tied back hair and glasses, both of them looking like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths and both of them sporting enormous norks that I imagined received little love or attention any more. It appeared to be clear they knew me but I certainly didn’t know them.
“Lewis, it’s me! Kate’s mum. Remember? The cakes?” the younger whispered as if revealing a big secret…about cakes. For a moment I was about to tell them I had no idea who they were, but as that thought went through my mind I could hear Kat laughing in my ear, and decided to embrace the unknown.
“Of course. How is your daughter, Kate? Is she still going to…” I began, leaving the sentence hanging in mid-air.
“…Uni. Yeah, she loves it,” Kate’s mum declared proudly. Clearly whatever academic endeavour Kate was doing she seemed to be doing well enough to make her Mum delighted with her progress.
“Well give her my love,” I stated cheerily. Both women looked at each other shocked at my comment as if I’d just sworn in church before their expressions became more crest-fallen.
“How have you been doing since? Are you not seeing…” the younger one questioned. Shit! Did the other Lewis have a girlfriend?! Fuck it. He didn’t now.
“Oh no. Not at the moment,” I nodded mournfully, but tinged with optimism as the nod continued. “But I would sure like to experience those cakes again,”
The two women looked at each other then around at passers-by as if I had said something so scandalous they had to check themselves to make sure no-one had overheard us speaking. I figured we must be talking at some kind of cross-purposes as I was trying to take advantage of my sweet-tooth and they were acting like we were engaged in some kind of drug deal.
“Are you sure?” the blonde-haired lady asked whilst playing with her hair and looking provocatively at me over the top of her glasses, both of them clearly a-fluster from my comment.
“Sure, why not? Although I’m not sure I’ve got your details in my new phone,” I bullshitted as I fished my phone from my pocket and faked going through my contacts which were remarkably small due to my anti-social nature. “Tell you what, just pop the details in there and I’ll pop mine in yours if that’s okay?”
I handed my phone over and watched as they placed their details onto my window on the world and started to fish out theirs for me to add to mine.
Shit!
I didn’t know what THEIR Lewis’ last name was. For a second I experienced a moment of mild panic before the solution quickly inserted itself into my cranium.
“Just bring up my details and I’ll add my new number in there,” I suggested, helpfully. Both women did so eagerly with the younger of the two getting her phone to me first. I looked down at this other Lewis’ surname.
Lewis Smith.
Ha! He sounded like a right bellend. Lewis Smith?! What kind of person has such a bland name as Smith? Embarrassing. I was so glad that my own name was so much more fancy and debonair by comparison.
Lewis Jones.
I removed Lewis' number before replacing it with my own. Part of me did feel quite bad about that but then again I wasn’t the Lewis who was on the London eye, driving fancy cars or meeting beautiful women was I?
I added my number to both ladies' phones and handed them back, the two of them seeming to bounce merrily where they stood upon getting my new details as I matched their names to their faces. Barbara was the older of the two and Carol the younger.
“I guess we’ll see you soon,” Carol purred, enthusiastically.
“Yes…for cakes,” Barbara continued.
“Indeed,” I replied, nonplussed about their overexcitedness. I mean what the Hell was so exciting about cakes.
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It was only two weeks after my unexpected encounter with the ladies that I received a text invite around to Barbara’s house for “cakes” with her and Carol, although the message had me a tad confused.
Hey, Lewis.
Great bumping into you the other day. Wondering if you’d be up for another cake-making session over at Carol’s house. Her hubby’s away playing “golf” so just the three of us to enjoy some home-baking. Wink emoji.
I re-read the message a number of times before deciding how to reply.
Sounds great. Send me times and I’ll pop round. You know what a sweet tooth I have.
I pressed send, thinking little of it, but just seconds later my phone pinged in my pocket.
Oh, we sure do. Devil emoji, devil emoji, LOL emoji.
“Weird,” thought I, with little consideration of what any of this meant. I merely popped the date in my calendar so it would remind me when the time rolled around. The day came and I drove round to Carol’s house. I brought a bottle of wine and flowers so my reputation as the only Lewis should prevail even if that loser Lewis Smith did show up again.
I walked towards Carol’s bungalow and could see the two women in the kitchen, aprons over their dresses like 1950’s housewives, but I could see the dresses beneath were anything but housewife-y with Carol in a red dress with a wave in her brown locks and Barbara rocking a black dress, glasses gone and blonde hair straightened and down to her shoulders looking ten years younger and like butter would melt not just in her mouth but anywhere else on that body. I waved as I approached the house and they cheerily waved back, hurrying out of the kitchen towards the front door.
“Ladies, thanks for inviting me, AGAIN,” I stated as I handed the flowers to Barbara and the wine to Carol.
“Oh, you know us so well,” Carol replied, looking at the bottle and pushing her hair into place.
“Beautiful flowers,” Barbara commented with a radiant smile. “I’ll put them in a vase”.
“Well I thought they’d be perfect for two lovely ladies like yourself,” I complimented with fake sincerity. The two of them blushed before Barbara spoke again.
“I’ll put these in some water. Get them nice and wet,” Barb advised. I nodded at her comment.
“That’s what flowers need. To be kept nice and wet,” I confirmed, cluelessly. Barbara went even more red and left for the kitchen. “So…the cakes?” I continued, watching gormlessly as Carol also went a deeper shade of carnation.
“Why don’t we have a drink first,” Carol suggested. I was so in the dark. Why would anyone need any booze before taking part in culinary escapades? I nodded and the two of us joined Barbara in the kitchen, who was removing her apron.
“I’ll just start to…get ready,” Barbara said.
“Wine first?” Carol interjected.
“Sure, why not,” I agreed, not wanting to dampen the vibe. Carol poured three huge glasses of red and the two women grabbed one each and downed theirs promptly, causing me to worry that they each had some kind of drinking problem. I pushed that thought aside and had a mouthful but left plenty in my glass. The two women then left the room, leaving me in the kitchen, looking at the partly worked cake bowls and wondering what the funk was going on. I was considering just starting to work the mix while they were further in the house but heard Carol shout out from elsewhere in the property.
“Oh, Lewis! Down here,” Carol cooed loudly. I decided to pass on the culinary excellence and head to where the voice came from. I walked through the corridor that had a bathroom leading off it, two bedrooms leading off and one with a door open and a light on. I assumed this is where the two bakers were calling me from. I entered the room and all the texts and remarks became clear.
On the double bed, naked, with legs draped over the edge were Carol and Barbara, hands under their boobs, waggling their huge feeders at me, laughing as they did. I nodded as realisation dawned, although I tried hard to make it seem like I knew what I was doing.
“The cakes. Now I remember,” I lied as I pulled my smartest polo shirt over my head, glad I put my fanciest aftershave on.
“Come here big boy and get your cakes,” Carol remarked, her head staying on the bed as she and Barbara looked at me with hungry eyes. I let my jeans tumble to the ground after flicking my shoes off, the two ladies eyes went wide as they spied my stiffy.
“Hello! I don’t remember it being that big,” Barbara noted.
“Or having a curve in it,” Carol observed.
“Football injury,” I lied, convincingly this time after getting various sports-related injuries over the years. “I asked the docs to remove the pain but keep the swelling,” I added as I waved my hips side to side to cause my dick to slap against my hips like I was performing percussion.
“Enough with the drumming, get sucking!” Carol demanded. It was pretty clear which of the two ladies would be the most demanding, but that was okay. There was plenty of me to go around. I moved forward, hand on my rod, feeling its solidity and weight in my hand, wondering what my next move was? Clearly the other Lewis was a tit-man (so was I, so…no issues there) but what move would surprise and shock these two lovely creatures? I bent down and slapped my face between Barbara’s thighs and began to feast on her tasty snatch.
“OH LEWIS!” Barbara moaned as I slipped my devious tongue between her lips. “Oh my! Where did you learn that?”
“I studied since we last met. Did I pass the exam,” I queried before placing my lips over Barbara’s clit and sucking on her love-button.
“OH FUCKING HELL! A-plus for the oral exam!” Barbara jested as she slid around the bed, grinding her hips against my mouth as my tongue savoured the flavour of her fleshy crevice.
“Not fair, I want his tongue!” Carol complained as I devoured Barbara’s quim like it was beef stir fry, slurping round and getting her juices all over my lips, my saliva and her pussy liquid combining and coalescing and running down my stubbled chin as I relished her shaven vulva.
“When is it my turn?” Carol queried as she watched me and Barb, my face firmly lodged between Barbara’s thighs, whilst I closed my eyes and allowed my tongue to enjoy the sensation of her meaty lips either side of my mouth as I slipped my tongue up and down her cleft, enjoying her taste. She moaned even more as I pushed a finger inside her, her head rolling back. Next to me I heard Carol moan at missing out as Barbara sighed in annoyance at her interjections.
“Play with yourself and stop distracting us!” Barbara cursed her friend as I flicked my taste-muscle over her soggy bean, pushing her ever closer to the edge as my finger probed her inside for her G-Spot, tickling her innards and outtards at the same time as she placed her hands either side of the top of my head to keep me in place as I lapped at her cunny.
“Ladies, there’s plenty of me to go around, don’t worry,” I pointed out before returning my mouth to Barbara’s slurpy cunt.
“HURR! You’d better give her a go of your mouth she’ll only carry on whinging,” Barbara remarked.
“That’s not true,” Carol retaliated as she watched Barbara and I as she moved her fingers in and out of her twat, biting her lip as she observed us with envious eyes.
“Okay, I surrender. You have my attention, Carol,” I complained as she removed her fingers and clapped her hands together, a wet thwack sound coming in her applause due to her pussy juice.
“Get on the bed though, Lewis. I want to suck on that monster,” Barbara stated as she sat upright. I did as I was told, lying across the end of the bed so I could get my face between Carol’s legs so that Barb could get her lips around my cock. I wiped my hand across my chin and moved my face forward, looking at her slit from an upside-down angle. I wasn’t worried, I could work it either way. I slid my tongue around her bean as I pried her cheeks apart whilst Barbara rolled her tongue around my end, before letting her lips sink down my shaft.
“Holy fucking Hell, that’s special,” I breathed into Carol’s cunt, before returning to eating her precious hole, running my tongue between her thin lips in contrast to Barb’s, my mouth enjoying the feel of Carol’s fleshing clam against my lips whilst my bent rod enjoyed Barbara’s oral attention as she mixed her efforts from wet, sloppy sucks to firm licks of the underside from base to tip, stopping at the top to flick the end. The three of us continued to feast like that with Barbara sucking my tool and me licking Carol’s quim till I felt movement on the bed. I looked down and could see Carol pulling Barbara’s legs over to herself, sliding her across the bed.
“What are you doing?!” Barbara whinged before Carol sank her face between her friend’s thighs and began devouring her snatch that I’d already partaken in. “Oh my…no! I’m…I’m straight,” Barbara protested whilst moving her hood involuntarily against her friend’s face.
“So’s spaghetti until it gets wet,” Carol replied as she slurped away at Barbara’s box, the two women taking their friendship to the next level as Barbara replaced her mouth around my cock and I slipped my tongue back into Carol’s cleft, the three of us staying locked together in this moaning and sighing holy-trinity, mouths and jaws working each other’s junk till each of us overloaded with pleasure and needed momentary rest just to savour the feeling of someone else’s mouths stimulating our bits, the three of of loudly encouraged each other and salivating hungrily in a blissful cycle till I could stand it no more.
“Okay ladies, it’s about time we took this to the next level,” I stated as I detached myself from Barb’s mouth and Carol’s pussy, before flipping Carol onto her back and moving Barbara back over her friend’s mouth so she could ride her face to climax-ville. As I watched Carol’s tongue lap at her friend’s pussy, I jammed my prick into Carol’s snatch.
“OH, FUCK ME!” Carol yelled as my curved monster made its way inside her, her hips moving up to welcome me in as she moaned into her friend's body. “MMMMM!” Carol purred before continuing to put her mouth to use on Barbara’s cleft, her tongue moving over and through her fleshy curtains. Barbara quivered in delight with her legs spread above Carol’s face. I leaned my face forward and took one of Barb’s nipples into my mouth.
“OH FUCK, YES!” Barbara exhaled loudly through clenched teeth. I continued to move my hips forward and back into Carol’s excellent, sopping cunt as the two women moaned their approval in delight, their climax seemed to move back and forth between them in waves till I could see Barbara’s thighs trembling. “UGH, UGH, UGH…Oh God…OH…” Barbara cried out before digging her fingernails into my shoulders and slicing through the skin as I continued to plough into Carol.
“Please stop, stop, stop!” Barbara begged as she moved herself off Carol’s face, allowing herself to recover from the over-sensitive state between her legs, I however took this as opportunity to really rail into Carol and began to harshly smack my hips against hers, my curved dick reaching round inside her with every stroke, Carol’s mouth in a permanent “OH” shape as she moaned beneath me.
“Oh, Lewis! Oh, Lewis! Oh, Lewis!” said Carol, the words seemingly all she could get out as she placed her hands either side of my rib cage as I lowered myself into this sexy bitch, who was so confident at the start but now seemed subservient to my cock. “Oh, that’s it, that’s it, right there, oh yeah…OH GOD, YEAH!”
Carol’s legs tightened around me as she shot her head back in delight, her climax ripping through her as if she were a fainting goat. She was so stiff, until eventually she relaxed and her grip on my hips with her thighs loosened, but I still wasn’t done yet. I moved over to Barb and pulled her legs round so she was in prime position for me to pull her forward and slip my length deep inside her. I moved on top of her, looking deep into her eyes. “You want this?” I asked her.
“Desperately,” Barbara replied before gripping my tool and pulling me into her waiting pussy.
“Oh boy, that’s wonderful!” I commended her as I felt her tight wetness grip my cock, her legs wrapping around me. Clearly she wanted me in her and I was determined not to disappoint as I slammed inside her, feeling her body shudder at every thrust, watching this stunning milf look up at me with a lust-filled stare that encouraged me further to smash my girth inside her.
“Fill me, fill me…please, fill me with your cum,” Barbara begged. I gazed upon her and wondered if I should. I was proud of my ability to hold off orgasm and yet right now I was bareback in this stranger’s enticing snatch.
“Are you sure?” I asked, my voice laced with uncertainty as we continued to fuck.
“I’m sure, I’m sure,” advised Barbara. Who was I to say no? I started to power inside her, my hips moving ever quicker, the pace building, the intensity of friction on my cock becoming more intense, the sound of Barbara’s moans increasing, my balls tightening, my shaft feeling the liquid love flowing down it till I could take no more.
“GAAH! Fucking Hell!” I raged as I shot my cum deep inside, cream-pieing the second MILF I’d fucked today. I collapsed onto Barbara and could feel her stroking my back tenderly. I’d just pretended to be Lewis Smith, took over his cake-making antics and enjoyed the heck out of it whilst at it.
I was beginning to understand just how much better the other me’s had it.
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Once the two women recovered they quickly began to get dressed, indicating not too subtly that I should do the same. Knowing not to buck the hospitality of my hosts I did so and, surprisingly enough, all three of us went into the kitchen and began to do some baking.
I was shocked. I felt sure after all the sex that there was no way that any domestic science level activity would occur but…I was wrong as the three of us continued to drain the wine I brought (plus the ladies own reinforcements) and prepared a range of potentially delicious cupcakes as all three of us got lost in the magic of cooking.
“Knock knock,” a young female voice announced from the hallway. All three of us looked at each other with shocked faces. Clearly no-one was meant to be here tonight save us three sexy people, till a sexy young woman popped her head into the kitchen, sporting a black straight Bob haircut, denim jacket and white T-shirt. For a moment she reminded me of someone, some old-timey movie star I’d seen pictures of, and just for a second our eyes met and she looked like she’d seen some sort of spectral apparition or real-life optical illusion, before she regained her composure.
“Lewis…this is a surprise,” the young woman began. I had no idea who this was but judging by her garb and her ease of access to the house I had to make a split-second decision and hope it was correct.
“You too, Kate,” I guessed. The young woman just nodded and I surmised that I’d guess correctly.
Yes.
“How’ve you been? How’s uni?” I asked in an attempt to just keep the conversation on her and away from me.
“Good. Real good. I’m dating already,” Kate remarked with a defiant shake of her head. I could tell this was thrown out there to get to me, therefore Lewis and Kate had some sort of relationship. Great.
“That’s good. I’m pleased for you. I’m still single,” I offered as a balm to make her feel better, which looked like it worked. Kate smiled and her body language toward me seemed to improve.
“What brings you round here?” Kate asked, as she placed her hands on her hips, seeming to grow in confidence at my single status.
“Baking. Barbara and Carol invited me over,” I stated, turning to point at my two culinary comrades, however when I turned back Kate’s face changed from shock to anger to something else. A steely knowledge that only she possessed. I wondered if I’d somehow gestured wrongly, but then a wry grin grew across her features.
“Really? Do you mind if I have a quiet word with you?” Kate asked as she grabbed me by the hand and led me to the back of the house, my eyes glued to her delicious arse in those ridiculously tight jeans, although I was counting the seconds till she turned round and I could see her figure-hugging T-shirt really squeeze her fantastic boobs. We entered her bedroom and I sat on her bed, not sure what to expect. Was she going to take things further? Was she just wanting to have a chat after her time at uni.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” I asked, calmly.
“Well first of all…who are you?” Kate asked, arms crossed, a confident smirk parading across her lips. “Because you aren’t Lewis”.
My heart felt like it was stuck in my throat. I was well and truly busted.
END OF PART 1
Oh no! Is Lewis’ Randy adventure over before it’s really begun? How is he gonna get out of this? Stay tuned to find out more in THERE’S A LOT OF ME ABOUT - Part 2…cumming…er…coming soon.
