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Lurkers in the chatroom

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i know it says chatroom but thought this was a good topic for here, but maybe mods will move it.
im amazed at how many people lurk in the chatrooms and never seem to say anything, i noticed you have your hardcore chatters and shy ones that chat occasionally.
But i have noticed a large amount never say a word, why are they there then what do they get out of being there?
Sometimes i dont get a chance to say anything in a room before i am being whispered. If im happy with who is whispering me then i will continue the convo in private. Sometimes i dont feel i have anything to add to a room convo but enjoy reading what others are saying smile and will pipe up when i have something to add. And then there are times when i just dont shut up and talk non-stop lol
And sometimes im just there to perve the cams :twisted:
Diffrent strokes for diffrent folkes and all that
Nicky
spoil sports you never get the same replies in here as you do the cafe
boo hoo to the mods
Quote by Ukwineman
boo hoo to the mods

Don't forget admin can move threads too ;)
Quote by Dawnie
boo hoo to the mods

Don't forget admin can move threads too ;)
fully aware of that Dawnie, trouble with typing instead of speaking its very difficult to convey humor.
Quote by flower411
Don`t worry wineman, only some of the chatroom posts get moved from the cafe !!
As to your question, there`s quite a few reasons why people don`t speak.
Personally I often get into the chatroom early when I get home, so that I avoid the rush later which means you have trouble getting in. I often don`t chat at all to start with and I`m always forgetting to set my status as "busy".
If I go away to do something I rarely sign out because of the problems getting back in again.
A large percentage of people don`t seem to like chatting in open room so are always whispering. I find this defeats the object of the chatroom but some people are embarrased and don`t like to let everybody see what they are saying.
I think this is particularly true of single guys who say hello to couples without whispering and end up getting an earful of abuse or a sarcastic remark .
Lets face it , I am guilty of the odd sarcastic remark but I try to save them for the people who say hello to me on a regular basis week in week out with the same old
" I`d love to come and shag yr mrs, where are you ? " or at least something along those lines .
There are also those who are only in the room to watch the cams or, of course, wait for an argument to blow up.
And I would imagine the others who don`t talk much would be the on duty policemen
and reporters .

police and reporters where bolt
:giggle:
It is very annoying. I like to chat. Most evening I have to wait to get in to the mids room its so full, between 70 to 80 people in there. You get in and low and behold you have about a dozen people chatting and of those dozen about 3-6 camming as well.
The rest are just sitting there. It really fecks me off. Later the room speed sometimes slows to a crawl or repeatedly crashes. Its stealing bandwidth.
Quote by Ukwineman
police and reporters where bolt

Would you like to come to my office for an interview Mr Uk :giggle:
Flower, you forgot to add that some people could be shy because they are just getting started within the site or swinging.
There is also the off chance one of those quiet people is an OP taking a break from doing some work so is happily having a wander round in an attempt to pull innocent
More importantly, people come to use the site in the way that suits them. It really isn't up to us to comment on their reasons for what they are doing or why they are here rolleyes
Fair point Dawnie. The reoorters thing isnt beyond the realms of possibility thou. I have seenit done in some sunday tabloids where they turn a member site over.
You are right that somke newbies are amongst the non chatters and they do deserve as much time as they need to find there voice. But some lurkers are members for years and years. They dont chat or use the forums. Its there subscription. They could have much more fun on here if they wanted.
Whats an OP?
Quote by Dawnie

police and reporters where bolt

Would you like to come to my office for an interview Mr Uk :giggle:
Flower, you forgot to add that some people could be shy because they are just getting started within the site or swinging.
There is also the off chance one of those quiet people is an OP taking a break from doing some work so is happily having a wander round in an attempt to pull innocent
More importantly, people come to use the site in the way that suits them. It really isn't up to us to comment on their reasons for what they are doing or why they are here rolleyes
Quote by Pizzalover
Fair point Dawnie. The reoorters thing isnt beyond the realms of possibility thou. I have seenit done in some sunday tabloids where they turn a member site over.

Maybe so Pizzalover but what are they going to gain from sitting in a chatroom? Very little in my opinion confused
Quote by Pizzalover
You are right that somke newbies are amongst the non chatters and they do deserve as much time as they need to find there voice. But some lurkers are members for years and years. They dont chat or use the forums. Its there subscription. They could have much more fun on here if they wanted.

But thats my point, maybe to some sitting there watching is fun dunno
Maybe they are watching the one cam that is on :dunno:
Maybe they are in whisper :dunno:
Does it matter if they are getting what they want from the site :dunno:
Quote by Pizzalover
Whats an OP?

They have a star next to their name on the chatters list. They can remove people from chatrooms if they don't follow the site rules, even after a warning. Sometimes for a short while but sometimes a whole lot longer evil
OPs keep and eye on the chatroom. Moderators keep an eye on the forum, ads, pictures, stories and club reviews.
Just remember that all OPs and Mods came here for the same reasons and we are human :rascal:
Quote by Dawnie

police and reporters where bolt

Would you like to come to my office for an interview Mr Uk :giggle:
Flower, you forgot to add that some people could be shy because they are just getting started within the site or swinging.
There is also the off chance one of those quiet people is an OP taking a break from doing some work so is happily having a wander round in an attempt to pull innocent
More importantly, people come to use the site in the way that suits them. It really isn't up to us to comment on their reasons for what they are doing or why they are here rolleyes
you trying to corrupt me there Dawnie whip
Quote by Ukwineman
you trying to corrupt me there Dawnie whip

Noooooooo not me :angel:
:giggle:
I think asking people why they "lurk" in the chatrooms is the same as asking why millions watch reality tv or why voyeurs get their kicks from watching.
As someone said before - different strokes for different folks, but I prefer "whatever blows yer kilt up". lol
I go in chatrooms to chat, nothing else. Lately, I've actually managed to get my webcam working but it's only used so people can see what i look like. I don't play on cam - not my thing at all, but I don't mind/care if others do.
it is a bit annoying that it takes so long to get in a room, then the room is so slow and it's not helped by how many people are in there doing nothing. If they are indeed doing nothing.
As Dawn so rightly said, they maybe whispering or viewing cams. Up to them.
I hope Admin manage to do something with the servers etc to speed things up. Just have to wait n see. smile
Quote by Ukwineman
But i have noticed a large amount never say a word, why are they there then what do they get out of being there?

That would be all the single men watching you on cam.
bolt
Yes a very good conversation this one. We think that being in a chat room, is for people that want to chat. The meaning of the word chat is " to converse in a familiar or informal manner". T here are many who don't ever say anything in the chat room, which surely defeats the object of going into a " chat " room.
Then there are the people who go into a room say Kent room, and live in Scotland. Surely that is not to meet people. Whilst it is nice to chat to new people, we thought one of the objects of being on a swingers site, was to meet people to swing with. You certainly cannot do that, if you are not prepared to talk to anyone. Obviously you cannot chat all the time, and there are times when we do just sit and watch the various conversations going on, but the reason we go on here is to chat and meet, otherwise is there any point?
Happy Swinging!
Well, I don't often post in the forum as I usually tend to post in the wrong place, but I do enjoy coming in here to read the topics and replies. So thought I would have another go at posting, as UKwineman has raised an excellent topic. I think you've had some genuine and relevant replies from all those that have replied to you.
I noticed most of you are new but there are one or two old birds like me that have been on a long time, and one of the real reasons people sit in here and never chat is because they are on msn. You won't find this much in the main rooms like The Beach Bar and The Pool but in other well established rooms put up by peeps on a regular basis. You'll find alot of silence because the peeps in there know each other and are chatting on msn to each other. This I've never understood, if you're in a chatroom chat in it, but they don't because I believe it gives them some sort of sense of power. So if someone asks you for your addy, tell them no you prefer to chat in the rooms on sh.
Hopefully that will keep this site going, after all peeps only complain so much because they love it so much, and don't blame the ops and the mods for this one, shouldn't think there is a lot they can do about it. Just remember quiet rooms might not be as quiet as you think they are.
Lots of love
Liketo
i think for me it depends on mood and where i am. love to chat when there are people i have got to know . or i am interested in what is going on and sometimes prefer to get involved in some chat, but not in major way.
sometimes i do like to mainly watch, or read what others have to say, or will be whispering with people, though i don't do that often.
as long as all is done with respect and friendliness i think it's okay.
most rooms seem to have a balance between people who are doing all of the various society in general there are people who are more gregarious, and some who are more observers but i guess most people fall between the two.
I only lurke beacause i start talking but then lose the plot and can keep up so just sit and perv
Quote by felixx1416
I only lurke beacause i start talking but then lose the plot and can keep up so just sit and perv

i will agree there sometimes. You start to chat to one person then 2 or 3 friends come in you say a bit to them and before you know you spread yourself to thin and loose the plot on all off them. Lets face it if you in the pub or meetinf friends you never hold more than one face to face conversation so why do why do we do it onlinre ??

You know I never though of that and it does make sense. A lot of people enter the room then go quite, even prominent chatters. I guess when folk enter the room, there seen and pinged on MSN if the've swapped them.
I dont think its a sense of power thou. I think all of us on here want a sense of connection and/or beloning. These PM progs are part of forging closer 1 on 1 ties.
But now the flip side. To be more pessimistic about it members with an "end game" in mind will def pursue MSN's as part of an ultimate goal, would these members be predominantly single males like me?
But, when the room is down and you need your fix it could be quite a lifeline
This comment dovetails with a seperate thread ive seen on here asking after cliques. Does MSN V's Room act as a catalyst to feelings of divisieness.
Jesus get me, ive been very heavy of late. Tits, fanny, arse, beer. Phew
dawn I have not checked but sure i recall rules about being logged in and not there.
with the servers being rat sh*t due to load,
there may be a point to made here
if people are grabing a place early evening for use much later on the the load would be less thus less crashing etc. and more peeps could have a go on server one which is never available when i am around
may be you could dispatch an ASBO or two!
hi uk, good topic,
i use chat and the forums, the forums are more for thought out detailed debates, threads, chat for idle, chit chat.
another thread altogether, but get tired sometimes of a decent thread being turned into idle chat. i personally cant be bothered to follow it if after several occassions i log in to find the last 10 post irrelevent.
i dont like whispers and make that very clear. i feel its a chat room, so if we all disapear into whispers then it would be like being at a party and were all off whispering to each other , rude and unnessecary.
the only time i go into whisper is if ive clicked with someone and personal details are being exchanged.
i think the 10 min rule applies to cams only, if the user has been away form the cam the room host can boot them.
i joined this site when it was a community , not just a sex site. So just because im on line and maybe in chat does not mean i am looking for a meet with anyone, and if on cam does not mean i am about to put on a show.
i do understand peoples anoyance with full rooms and only a few people being active, be that watching or chatting. especially when the rooms are full or bandwith is full and causing slow running of crashing.
god ive blathered on so much cant remember if ive answered the question lol.
xx fem xxx
Quote by fem_4_taboo
i joined this site when it was a community , not just a sex site.

I remember those days!! :happy: :happy: :happy:
Quote by fem_4_taboo
hi uk, good topic,
i use chat and the forums, the forums are more for thought out detailed debates, threads, chat for idle, chit chat.
another thread altogether, but get tired sometimes of a decent thread being turned into idle chat. i personally cant be bothered to follow it if after several occassions i log in to find the last 10 post irrelevent.
i dont like whispers and make that very clear. i feel its a chat room, so if we all disapear into whispers then it would be like being at a party and were all off whispering to each other , rude and unnessecary.
the only time i go into whisper is if ive clicked with someone and personal details are being exchanged.
i think the 10 min rule applies to cams only, if the user has been away form the cam the room host can boot them.
i joined this site when it was a community , not just a sex site. So just because im on line and maybe in chat does not mean i am looking for a meet with anyone, and if on cam does not mean i am about to put on a show.
i do understand peoples anoyance with full rooms and only a few people being active, be that watching or chatting. especially when the rooms are full or bandwith is full and causing slow running of crashing.
god ive blathered on so much cant remember if ive answered the question lol.
xx fem xxx

I go into chat because i want to chat, that means get an idea of who people are, you can get that in th forums to a certain extent but chatroom is more instant.
i go and cam and i have played a couple of times, but only when i wanted to, i do find it frustrating with endless hellos or nothing happening, i will always try at least to get a conversation going and do my best not to lurk.
Quote by Sgt Bilko

i joined this site when it was a community , not just a sex site.

I remember those days!! :happy: :happy: :happy:
me too. (Am I that old?)
But don't forget that beta chat has the option to open chatrooms and disable the cam function in that room.
With only the text to look at, then maybe people will begin chatting again.
Ian
Quote by Ian
But don't forget that beta chat has the option to open chatrooms and disable the cam function in that room.
With only the text to look at, then maybe people will begin chatting again.

Chatting in a chatroom???? Whatever next?? :shock: :shock: :shock: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
Quote by Sgt Bilko
But don't forget that beta chat has the option to open chatrooms and disable the cam function in that room.
With only the text to look at, then maybe people will begin chatting again.

Chatting in a chatroom???? Whatever next?? :shock: :shock: :shock: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
I seem to remember something about you not turning down Binxy, Dawnie, Fiona and TJ offering to give you the old sack, back and crack wax, live on cam. lol
innocent :whistling: :whistling: :whistling:
Quote by Ian
But don't forget that beta chat has the option to open chatrooms and disable the cam function in that room.
With only the text to look at, then maybe people will begin chatting again.

Chatting in a chatroom???? Whatever next?? :shock: :shock: :shock: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
I seem to remember something about you not turning down Binxy, Dawnie, Fiona and TJ offering to give you the old sack, back and crack wax, live on cam. lol
Friggin no-shows, can't we have some sort of verification system on here??
:giggle:
Quote by BiWelshMinx
But don't forget that beta chat has the option to open chatrooms and disable the cam function in that room.
With only the text to look at, then maybe people will begin chatting again.

Chatting in a chatroom???? Whatever next?? :shock: :shock: :shock: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
I seem to remember something about you not turning down Binxy, Dawnie, Fiona and TJ offering to give you the old sack, back and crack wax, live on cam. lol
Friggin no-shows, can't we have some sort of verification system on here??
:giggle:
Ahh, but he wasn't a no-show - he had a private locked room one to one cam show, with me doing the wax jobby on his . . . erm dangly bits :twisted: . . . . he thought I'be be gentle with him :evil2: . . . .
Shame no one got to watch the cam though . . . . see him whining like a kitten at every rip of the wax . . . . . "More! More!" he cried . . . . . the man's positively perverse I tell you :eeek:
. . . . he wants his under arm's done next, as well as his nipples . . . so who will be the lucky one to do those for him? :twisted:
Not me this time mate. There's no way I'm going anywhere near those armpits after he's spent a day in uniform, sweating like a pig in the mid day sun :scared: :scared:
No Sirree! :giggle:
bolt