A bit of messaging help please

I was contacted and followed it up with a message, but after four weeks it's unread. I was thinking I'd delete it, but if i delete it "my" end does it disappear at hers too?

Have you checked when the person was last back online..it will tell you on their profile..they just may have not been back online to see and read it..

I don't think deleting it at your end will remove it at the recipient's end but don't understand why you want to delete it when it hasn't been read yet.   

Quote by osemlover
I don't think deleting it at your end will remove it at the recipient's end but don't understand why you want to delete it when it hasn't been read yet.   

 Thanks for the replies but if it's gone four weeks without a read it's clear there is no interest, or anyway no great association with the site, so why leave my message out there. That would be my decision but sad it seems I cannot delete anyway.

If it hasn't been read it could simply be that the recipient hasn't been online. You haven't told us that and until you do we can't offer any more advice.

Quote by osemlover
If it hasn't been read it could simply be that the recipient hasn't been online. You haven't told us that and until you do we can't offer any more advice.

 But have you checked they have been online..

Quote by MrandMrsBad

Quote by osemlover
If it hasn't been read it could simply be that the recipient hasn't been online. You haven't told us that and until you do we can't offer any more advice.

 But have you checked they have been online..

Well have no idea who this person is so we can't check anything.  It's up to the OP to find out whether the person they messaged has been online since then. If they have. then it looks like they don't want to reply to the OP. If they haven't been online since the message was sent then that would easily explain why there's been no reply yet.

Quote by osemlover

Quote by MrandMrsBad

Quote by osemlover
If it hasn't been read it could simply be that the recipient hasn't been online. You haven't told us that and until you do we can't offer any more advice.

 But have you checked they have been online..

Well have no idea who this person is so we can't check anything.  It's up to the OP to find out whether the person they messaged has been online since then. If they have. then it looks like they don't want to reply to the OP. If they haven't been online since the message was sent then that would easily explain why there's been no reply yet.

 I meant the OP...

But have you checked they have been online..

Is it a new account..A lot come on here (SH) set up a new account, then realise they have to pay for full access and then never return.

Any updates musketeer 

Quote by MrandMrsBad
Any updates musketeer 

 The lady has read the posts but not replied, how she could resist I have no idea lol. One would like to think that having asked me she might have responded even if only to say "eff off you're too ugly". Que sera sera.

Sometimes, that's the way it goes, unfortunately. Don't take it to heart

She could be on a cruise somewhere? Or maybe just hasn;t come back on line! Be patient, you may be rewarded. But in any case maybe look around more?

I've learnt not to take this stuff to heart. Some people don't want to be approached a certain way, others do. I send a friends request as a way to connect and chat, find out more about each other but a lot of people ignore them. I guess for some people it's too forward x

Quote by LukeRabbit
I've learnt not to take this stuff to heart. Some people don't want to be approached a certain way, others do. I send a friends request as a way to connect and chat, find out more about each other but a lot of people ignore them. I guess for some people it's too forward x

 Probably because most people only want to be friends with people they know.  I get a lot of random friend requests from people I don't, and wouldn't want to know (single men take note). 

Quote by Cubes

Quote by LukeRabbit
I've learnt not to take this stuff to heart. Some people don't want to be approached a certain way, others do. I send a friends request as a way to connect and chat, find out more about each other but a lot of people ignore them. I guess for some people it's too forward x

 Probably because most people only want to be friends with people they know.  I get a lot of random friend requests from people I don't, and wouldn't want to know (single men take note). 

 I understand that, it wasn't a complaint, I'm just different in how I approach this. I'm fairly new to the online scene but been dogging, fetish nights and a bit of swinging for 20 years since I was young 😂. I see a friend request as a hello and getting to know someone. Same when I have been dogging, I'm not one to sit in the car all dark and mysterious lol. I just get out and go chat to everyone, so they know me and know I'm safe and friendly. I'm aware some single males are a problem with their behaviour but we are not all bad. I find that the swinging scene can be a bit snobby as if being a single man is a fault. Some of us are just friendly normal deviants same as most people who want to play on this scene. 

I think it's about respecting people and their limits. I've seen guys literally go and shoot their load all over someone else's car seat and Mrs when dogging and I can't believe their bad manners. If I approached a car and the people inside stopped playing, I'd back off because they obviously didn't want my presence. I will always be respectful and if not wanted I am happy to take the hint. Maybe a friend's request is an etiquette breach I've not been told about yet? As I say I've only just joined the online community. 

Don't get me wrong Luke, I wasn't reading it as a complaint, I just wanted to offer an honest answer as to why many people are likely ignoring your approach.  In my case I never, ever, ever, get friend requests from our target demographics.  It's unwaveringly from single men who haven't read my profile. 

Also, there are some underlying issues with using the friend request for making contact:

- It's impersonal

- It comes across as lazy

- Many people use it as a way to start a conversation without having to stump up the basic membership fee

With the realisation that I've already hijacked the thread (sorry OP ) my advice to you is, if you want to make contact with people go right in with a PM.  I can see from the posts above that you're an eloquent person, so why not use that to your advantage by penning a proper introduction?

thank you for your nice reply Cubes, I appreciate your comment. Yes I can see what you mean. I must admit I always read the profile and if it says no single makes I move on. I have sent a few messages too and my sense of humour has made me a couple of contacts 😂. I think if you're fun to have a conversation with you're more likely to be fun between the sheets! 😂

I can only speak for us but we never reply to winks or friends requests from strangers whereas we do try to respond to any half decent messages even if it's just a polite 'no thanks'.. There's no way of knowing the true motives of the originators but we too tend to view these things as being a rather lazy option and almost always a sign that the senders haven't bothered to read our profile. Amongst some members we think it boils down to a failure to appreciate that people are here for many different reasons and we're not all so fixated on 6 packs, donkey dongs or whatever that nothing else matters.

Quote by osemlover
I can only speak for us but we never reply to winks or friends requests from strangers whereas we do try to respond to any half decent messages even if it's just a polite 'no thanks'.. There's no way of knowing the true motives of the originators but we too tend to view these things as being a rather lazy option and almost always a sign that the senders haven't bothered to read our profile. Amongst some members we think it boils down to a failure to appreciate that people are here for many different reasons and we're not all so fixated on 6 packs, donkey dongs or whatever that nothing else matters.

 That makes perfectly sense, I have sent messages and received some replies, some blanked. I try to have a sense of humour about it all and never take it personally. Thank god donkey dongs and 6 packs aren't mandatory 😂😂 There's still a chance for the rest of us Mr and Mrs Averages! 😊 

Don't take anything to💖on here I've tried several different approaches all the messages I've sent have been read but still my mail box remains totally empty.

Quote by freeneasyup4it
Don't take anything to💖on here I've tried several different approaches all the messages I've sent have been read but still my mail box remains totally empty.

That's the attitude and it does take time to make contacts here.   According to your profile, for example,  you've only been here 3 weeks so are an unknown quantity and you do need to bear that in mind in a place where for many people here, trust is a big issue. You also need to understand that couples and females here can get dozens of messages every week so they're simply not going to reply to all of them, especially those (the vast majority) which are inane one liners sent by guys who haven't even bothered to read their profiles first. Finally, you need to think about the messages you're sending.  It's great paying strangers compliments but what often matters more is whether you come across as someone who has the same outlook and interests for example. We get quite a few messages which come from guys whose profiles directly contradict what they've written to us. Are we really going to enter into some debate about what's true and what isn't or just move on to the next one?  Yes, it may appear rude when this happens to you but it boils down to numbers more than anything.

Quote by Cubes
Don't get me wrong Luke, I wasn't reading it as a complaint, I just wanted to offer an honest answer as to why many people are likely ignoring your approach.  In my case I never, ever, ever, get friend requests from our target demographics.  It's unwaveringly from single men who haven't read my profile. 
Also, there are some underlying issues with using the friend request for making contact:
- It's impersonal
- It comes across as lazy
- Many people use it as a way to start a conversation without having to stump up the basic membership fee
With the realisation that I've already hijacked the thread (sorry OP ) my advice to you is, if you want to make contact with people go right in with a PM.  I can see from the posts above that you're an eloquent person, so why not use that to your advantage by penning a proper introduction?

 ^Sends Cubes an immediate friends request"

Quote by Katniss 
 ^Sends Cubes an immediate friends request"

I have learnt a lot about the site these past few weeks and I really see how the approach needs to be more subtle and less pushy. I'm having GREAT fun here and lots of genuine people. Absolutely love it now and PM is exactly what I do! I didn't send Cubes a request though 😂And I read your profile Katniss saw you weren't looking for anyone so left you be event though I actually wanted to make friends because of your personality not for the more obvious motivations! x

Quote by Cubes

Quote by Katniss 
 ^Sends Cubes an immediate friends request"

 

 oooh spanking *grins*