I have just read the steam room and it upsets me to read it at times, I don’t know really why I go in there, as there are always people that have been upset by others here.
I really can not understand why people would intentionally go out to hurt another person in any form, it saddens me if I think I may have caused offence in something I have said while writing and more often I have sent a private mail apologising if I felt I may have caused offence.
Why can’t people just be nice to each other, life is too short to be nasty, and quiet often the person you aim it at isn’t the person you have normally been upset by, I feel.
I would apologise even if I didn’t think I had done wrong, I just don’t like to think I have upset anyone. It is then up to them if they accept my apology but it makes me feel better.
Surely the feeling you have inside isn’t a nice feeling if you feel you have hurt someone, so why not just say sorry.
I know some people are a little more sensitive than others, but generally they are the ones that care the most about others.
Why don’t you just say sorry?
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Why do people act that way?
Quote by Mistress_39
I would add to the above comments by saying that, in my experience, some people just enjoy being plain nasty.
Some people are only happy if they are making others unhappy.
My advice is just keep smiling.
That is what I have always failed to understand.
Are they really happy making others miserable?
My guess is that they can't be happy, which is a shame really.
But as you say we can't let others drag up down, keep smiling is a good way of dealing with it, it works for me.
Minx, in here as in real life, people will argue. There will always be strong opinions, and each argument has more than one side. Arguments come about because people have different standpoints, or different memories of the same event. You can't make people be nice to eachother- to stop people falling out you'd need to police peoples emotions.
I agree that if you're in the wrong you should step up to the mark & apologise. There's not a snowball in hells chance you'll find me apologising for something I haven't done. It solves nothing. You can apologise for hurt caused by a remark, whilst standing by the remark.
There are many, many people on here capable of disagreeing with another persons standpoint without getting personal. They can debate whilst remaining friends, and it's wonderful to see.
I'd rather see some of the grudges taken to PM. The sniping & backbiting can become tiresome. However, the steam room is there for people to vent. If it upsets your sensibilities, steer clear, and stay happy.
Simples
I agree that if you're in the wrong you should step up to the mark & apologise. There's not a snowball in hells chance you'll find me apologising for something I haven't done. It solves nothing. You can apologise for hurt caused by a remark, whilst standing by the remark.
There are many, many people on here capable of disagreeing with another persons standpoint without getting personal. They can debate whilst remaining friends, and it's wonderful to see.
I'd rather see some of the grudges taken to PM. The sniping & backbiting can become tiresome. However, the steam room is there for people to vent. If it upsets your sensibilities, steer clear, and stay happy.
Simples
Sex God
Quote by Witchy
Minx, in here as in real life, people will argue. There will always be strong opinions, and each argument has more than one side. Arguments come about because people have different standpoints, or different memories of the same event. You can't make people be nice to eachother- to stop people falling out you'd need to police peoples emotions.
I agree that if you're in the wrong you should step up to the mark & apologise. There's not a snowball in hells chance you'll find me apologising for something I haven't done. It solves nothing. You can apologise for hurt caused by a remark, whilst standing by the remark.
There are many, many people on here capable of disagreeing with another persons standpoint without getting personal. They can debate whilst remaining friends, and it's wonderful to see.
I'd rather see some of the grudges taken to PM. The sniping & backbiting can become tiresome. However, the steam room is there for people to vent. If it upsets your sensibilities, steer clear, and stay happy.
Simples
:thumbup:
That pretty much covers it for me too. If I've upset someone I'd rather they PM'd and told me why than bitch about it on a forum. :mrgreen:
I don't think the forums need be pink and fluffy... I do however think they should be civil. :wink:
Minx, in here as in real life, people will argue. There will always be strong opinions, and each argument has more than one side. Arguments come about because people have different standpoints, or different memories of the same event. You can't make people be nice to eachother- to stop people falling out you'd need to police peoples emotions.
I totally agree with you on difference of opinions I have had many debates in the past where by I have not agreed with anothers opinion and they haven't mine, that does not upset me. It is more the comments in there that others have listened to other people and believe what someone else has said about them, that I was refering too. Tittle tattle back stabbing is what I find upsetting about others.
I agree that if you're in the wrong you should step up to the mark & apologise. There's not a snowball in hells chance you'll find me apologising for something I haven't done. It solves nothing. You can apologise for hurt caused by a remark, whilst standing by the remark.
I would always stand by what I have said if I believe it to be just. But I would never listen to others opinions of other people and join in anothers arguements or disagreements as it seems in the steam room.
But I would like you apologise for making them feel upset.
There are many, many people on here capable of disagreeing with another persons standpoint without getting personal. They can debate whilst remaining friends, and it's wonderful to see.
I agree and have done that is what is great about these forums that you see that happen.
Not many hold a grudge which is the way it should be.
I'd rather see some of the grudges taken to PM. The sniping & backbiting can become tiresome. However, the steam room is there for people to vent. If it upsets your sensibilities, steer clear, and stay happy.
Simples
I am always happy, but it does not stop me feeling for others that feel upset.
I don't go in there that often but when I do it is sad to see, that is all I wrote the thread for.
I totally agree with you on difference of opinions I have had many debates in the past where by I have not agreed with anothers opinion and they haven't mine, that does not upset me. It is more the comments in there that others have listened to other people and believe what someone else has said about them, that I was refering too. Tittle tattle back stabbing is what I find upsetting about others.
I agree that if you're in the wrong you should step up to the mark & apologise. There's not a snowball in hells chance you'll find me apologising for something I haven't done. It solves nothing. You can apologise for hurt caused by a remark, whilst standing by the remark.
I would always stand by what I have said if I believe it to be just. But I would never listen to others opinions of other people and join in anothers arguements or disagreements as it seems in the steam room.
But I would like you apologise for making them feel upset.
There are many, many people on here capable of disagreeing with another persons standpoint without getting personal. They can debate whilst remaining friends, and it's wonderful to see.
I agree and have done that is what is great about these forums that you see that happen.
Not many hold a grudge which is the way it should be.
I'd rather see some of the grudges taken to PM. The sniping & backbiting can become tiresome. However, the steam room is there for people to vent. If it upsets your sensibilities, steer clear, and stay happy.
Simples
I am always happy, but it does not stop me feeling for others that feel upset.
I don't go in there that often but when I do it is sad to see, that is all I wrote the thread for.
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I have just read the steam room and it upsets me to read it at times, I don’t know really why I go in there, as there are always people that have been upset by others here.
Why can’t people just be nice to each other, life is too short to be nasty, and quiet often the person you aim it at isn’t the person you have normally been upset by, I feel.
I would apologise even if I didn’t think I had done wrong, I just don’t like to think I have upset anyone. It is then up to them if they accept my apology but it makes me feel better.
Why don’t you just say sorry?
Why say sorry if you haven't done anything wrong??I've just picked up on a few things here Minx, first of all, if the Steam room upsets you that much, my advice? don't go in there.
Secondly, I totally disagree with your bit I've highlighted, why would you want to apologise for something you haven't done? I've known people like this and I'm sorry they don't get any respect, you can't apologise for something you haven't done, something someone else has done.
People can still be nice, caring individuals without having to appear 'nice and fluffy' all the time life just isn't like that, and in my view if someone's like that 100% of the time, I'd kind of worry actually.
You would never catch me apologising for something I haven't done, it's demeaning.
Sex God
Quote by jumptoit
Hi excuse me for asking but what and where is the steam room please?
Andy
Steam Room :mrgreen:
Quote by jaymar
I have just read the steam room and it upsets me to read it at times, I don’t know really why I go in there, as there are always people that have been upset by others here.
Why can’t people just be nice to each other, life is too short to be nasty, and quiet often the person you aim it at isn’t the person you have normally been upset by, I feel.
I would apologise even if I didn’t think I had done wrong, I just don’t like to think I have upset anyone. It is then up to them if they accept my apology but it makes me feel better.
Why don’t you just say sorry?
Why say sorry if you haven't done anything wrong??I've just picked up on a few things here Minx, first of all, if the Steam room upsets you that much, my advice? don't go in there.
Secondly, I totally disagree with your bit I've highlighted, why would you want to apologise for something you haven't done? I've known people like this and I'm sorry they don't get any respect, you can't apologise for something you haven't done, something someone else has done.
People can still be nice, caring individuals without having to appear 'nice and fluffy' all the time life just isn't like that, and in my view if someone's like that 100% of the time, I'd kind of worry actually.
You would never catch me apologising for something I haven't done, it's demeaning.
As I said I would say sorry even if I think I have done no wrong.
Because even though I think I haven't done wrong does not always mean I haven't.
By Saying sorry in my life I have found had defused a situation and then me and the other person can talk on a more understanding level of each other.
So to be honest I do not see it as undermining of myself at all.
I do dislike it when people seem to think I see life as fluffy and nice, when I for one have seen much heartache within my life, I find that undermining to be honest.
I just find in the whole scheme of life I would rather live happy within my self than hold onto what has made me miserable.
I am not here to earn respect I am here just being me.
So if saying sorry and continuing on makes me happy, I would still rather do it.
I'm with Minxy, if I thought saying sorry would make someone feel better, I see no harm in saying it. It causes me no hardship whether I think I'm to blame or not. I try to instil in my children that it is bigger to say sorry and mean it even if you think is not justified, than to refuse and make someone else feel aggrieved unnecessarily. If I collide with someone in the street/supermarket, I always say sorry and my kids see that. I hope it makes them realise that saying sorry does not weaken you.
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
I'm with Minxy, if I thought saying sorry would make someone feel better, I see no harm in saying it. It causes me no hardship whether I think I'm to blame or not. I try to instil in my children that it is bigger to say sorry and mean it even if you think is not justified, than to refuse and make someone else feel aggrieved unnecessarily. If I collide with someone in the street/supermarket, I always say sorry and my kids see that. That's more a matter of basic courtesy. If I bump into someone, I'll apologise even if the fault was mutual. It's an accident. Apologising when you're not at fault is more akin to saying sorry if someone has rudely and deliberately barged you out of the way. I hope it makes them realise that saying sorry does not weaken you.
Ok, so you've wronged me. You've done me an obvious disservice. For the purpose of this discussion, it's a black & white fact. There's hostility. I apologise. What has that achieved? You've seen that you can wrong people and get away with it. It's merely reinforced your bad behaviour.
Saying sorry when you're wrong is the correct thing to do. Saying it for the wrong reasons is only storing up problems.
Messy quoting, lack of time. Pah.
Like fuck would i say sorry for something i hadn't done,and i definately wouldn't say it just to keep the peace if it clearly wasn't my fault!
it gives a clear sign that people could treat you like a doormat,like your someone who doesn't stand up for themselves thus considered a weak person...well that's my opinion.
it gives a clear sign that people could treat you like a doormat,like your someone who doesn't stand up for themselves thus considered a weak person...well that's my opinion.
Quote by Mr-Powers
Like fuck would i say sorry for something i hadn't done,and i definately wouldn't say it just to keep the peace if it clearly wasn't my fault!
it gives a clear sign that people could treat you like a doormat,like your someone who doesn't stand up for themselves thus considered a weak person...well that's my opinion.
Yes, I agree, although Jaymar put it much more eloquently than you but then she would, she's woman and you're just a sex god.
Quote by BIoke
Like fuck would i say sorry for something i hadn't done,and i definately wouldn't say it just to keep the peace if it clearly wasn't my fault!
it gives a clear sign that people could treat you like a doormat,like your someone who doesn't stand up for themselves thus considered a weak person...well that's my opinion.
Yes, I agree, although Jaymar put it much more eloquently than you but then she would, she's woman and you're just a sex god.
Quote by jaymar
Like fuck would i say sorry for something i hadn't done,and i definately wouldn't say it just to keep the peace if it clearly wasn't my fault!
it gives a clear sign that people could treat you like a doormat,like your someone who doesn't stand up for themselves thus considered a weak person...well that's my opinion.
Yes, I agree, although Jaymar put it much more eloquently than you but then she would, she's woman and you're just a sex god.
i hope your not laughing at BIoke calling me a sex god?
Quote by Mr-Powers
Like fuck would i say sorry for something i hadn't done,and i definately wouldn't say it just to keep the peace if it clearly wasn't my fault!
it gives a clear sign that people could treat you like a doormat,like your someone who doesn't stand up for themselves thus considered a weak person...well that's my opinion.
Yes, I agree, although Jaymar put it much more eloquently than you but then she would, she's woman and you're just a sex god.
i hope your not laughing at BIoke calling me a sex god?
:evil2:
You want him really, don't you??
Quote by jaymar
I'm with Minxy, .
You would be
I don't quite know how to take that unnecessary comment. I'm sorry I offend you by agreeing with somebody.
I was brought up by a father who cared about me but was uncompromisingly arrogant, and a mother who was, and still is, a doormat to him. I didn't think I was as much like her as you evidently do, but I try not to behave like he would. I feel that in saying sorry whenever there is conflict defuses the situation and prevents the friction I regularly experienced growing up with a man who would never apologise. I guess I have the balance wrong. Sorry :undecided:
Sex God
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
I'm with Minxy, if I thought saying sorry would make someone feel better, I see no harm in saying it. It causes me no hardship whether I think I'm to blame or not. I try to instil in my children that it is bigger to say sorry and mean it even if you think is not justified, than to refuse and make someone else feel aggrieved unnecessarily. If I collide with someone in the street/supermarket, I always say sorry and my kids see that. I hope it makes them realise that saying sorry does not weaken you.
What?! :shock:
Why on earth would you apologise for something you hadn't done? Surely that devalues the very word/sentiment?
I apologise if I have done something wrong and only then.
Sex God
Quote by noladreams30
I'm with Minxy, if I thought saying sorry would make someone feel better, I see no harm in saying it. It causes me no hardship whether I think I'm to blame or not. I try to instil in my children that it is bigger to say sorry and mean it even if you think is not justified, than to refuse and make someone else feel aggrieved unnecessarily. If I collide with someone in the street/supermarket, I always say sorry and my kids see that. I hope it makes them realise that saying sorry does not weaken you.
What?! :shock:
Why on earth would you apologise for something you hadn't done? Surely that devalues the very word/sentiment?
I apologise if I have done something wrong and only then.
Sometimes there is a way of appearing to say sorry whilst not doing so. This is a good way of starting a discourse with someone and can be an aid in diplomacy. There are times when I've employed it rather than lose something i may value more.
Quote by Theladyisaminx
I have just read the steam room and it upsets me to read it at times, I don’t know really why I go in there, as there are always people that have been upset by others here.
I really can not understand why people would intentionally go out to hurt another person in any form, it saddens me if I think I may have caused offence in something I have said while writing and more often I have sent a private mail apologising if I felt I may have caused offence.
Why can’t people just be nice to each other, life is too short to be nasty, and quiet often the person you aim it at isn’t the person you have normally been upset by, I feel.
I would apologise even if I didn’t think I had done wrong, I just don’t like to think I have upset anyone. It is then up to them if they accept my apology but it makes me feel better.
Surely the feeling you have inside isn’t a nice feeling if you feel you have hurt someone, so why not just say sorry.
I know some people are a little more sensitive than others, but generally they are the ones that care the most about others.
Why don’t you just say sorry?
Sorry but I really cannot get my head around that one.
Why anyone would say sorry for something they do not have to say sorry for is a strange one.
By all means say sorry if it is SINCERE, but how can it be sincere, if you had not done anything wrong to warrant a sorry in the first place? :shock: :shock:
Sex God
Quote by jaymar
I have just read the steam room and it upsets me to read it at times, I don’t know really why I go in there, as there are always people that have been upset by others here.
Why can’t people just be nice to each other, life is too short to be nasty, and quiet often the person you aim it at isn’t the person you have normally been upset by, I feel.
I would apologise even if I didn’t think I had done wrong, I just don’t like to think I have upset anyone. It is then up to them if they accept my apology but it makes me feel better.
Why don’t you just say sorry?
Why say sorry if you haven't done anything wrong??I've just picked up on a few things here Minx, first of all, if the Steam room upsets you that much, my advice? don't go in there.
Secondly, I totally disagree with your bit I've highlighted, why would you want to apologise for something you haven't done? I've known people like this and I'm sorry they don't get any respect, you can't apologise for something you haven't done, something someone else has done.
People can still be nice, caring individuals without having to appear 'nice and fluffy' all the time life just isn't like that, and in my view if someone's like that 100% of the time, I'd kind of worry actually.
You would never catch me apologising for something I haven't done, it's demeaning.
:thumbup: Agree with Mar so not going to add anything.
Sex God
Sometimes its too late to
But doesn't seem to be the hardest word
:twisted: I apologize when I am wrong and I wouldn't expect someone to say sorry to me if they didn't genuinely mean it. Saying it for saying it's sake is pointless in my eyes like telling a one night stand you love them
But doesn't seem to be the hardest word
:twisted: I apologize when I am wrong and I wouldn't expect someone to say sorry to me if they didn't genuinely mean it. Saying it for saying it's sake is pointless in my eyes like telling a one night stand you love them
Sex God
Quote by flower411
I`ve often apologised to people to diffuse an argument or a volatile situation. It serves a dual purpose
It shows the other people in the room that you are prepared to back down and not continue a futile argument just for the sake of it, which demonstrates that you are a strong person capable of diplomacy...
And...
It annoys the shit out of the dick head who was looking for an argument in the first place
:thumbup:
Quote by flower411
I`ve often apologised to people to diffuse an argument or a volatile situation. It serves a dual purpose
It shows the other people in the room that you are prepared to back down and not continue a futile argument just for the sake of it, which demonstrates that you are a strong person capable of diplomacy...
And...
It annoys the shit out of the dick head who was looking for an argument in the first place
Perfectly said!!
I hate to say sorry if I don't think I'm in the wrong. Generally in my personal life I own't. But dealing with clients etc, that's another matter - a smile and a sorry can be a very worthwhile investment to turn around a situation...
