Hey Laides,
I'm 20 and new to the site and have decided that i shouldn't be 2 fussy when looking for women to meet/chat to. So i only ask that they fit into these criteria;
1. female
2. aged 26
3. be a Taurus
4. have size 34D breasts
5. have a tight, firm bum and legs to her armpits
6. must swallow
7. must have long blonde hair
8. must be shaved
9. must be able to travel from anywhere in the world just to have sex with me whenever i so choose
10. must earn 100K plus a year and be willing to spend lots of money on keeping me in nice new clothes.
11. Must not have any cellulite on any part of their body
I'm sure you can understand that i am trying to focus my search on a particular type of woman rather than ask for all women to sleep with me and expect a response. I hope this search is fruitfull lol!
badgerboy
p.s. I hope u can pick up the sarcasm in what i've said lol. Out of interest, out of 12 how many do u fit in2?!
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Not too fussy
Sex God
Quote by badgerboy
Out of interest, out of 12 how many do u fit in2?!
You only had a list of 11
Sex God
Just for Bluexxx
number 12. You must be able to use a strapon
:shock:
number 12. You must be able to use a strapon
:shock:
Mod
And I can manage 4 out of 12!! 
:rotflmao:
Mal
:rotflmao: Mal
Sex God
Quote by Mal
And I can manage 4 out of 12!!
Mal
You SURE about that, I might want to come round and check!
Warming the Bed
i can do number 1 but only on sunday afternoons when the wifes at her mothers 
Quote by badgerboy
1. female - oh cor blimey, that's me :shock:
2. aged 26 - that's me too!!!!!!I used to be 26!!! :bounce:
3. be a Taurus - Not tried this, but can't be that difficult, so yep!! :D
4. have size 34D breasts - Wooohooooo!!!! With a whole lot more to be used as spares too :twisted:
5. have a tight, firm bum and legs to her armpits - Tight, firm bum.... not asked him yet, but sure he'll be able to make it!
6. must swallow - Oh I can swallow, ain't much I can't swallow :undecided: <tucks into another choc digestive>
7. must have long blonde hair - Meeeee again!! :bounce: Ok will have to leave the dye and let me blonde grow through first :?
8. must be shaved - Yep, done that, no tash here any more
9. must be able to travel from anywhere in the world just to have sex with me whenever i so choose - too right!!! :twisted: Look forward to me tickets in the post 8-)
10. must earn 100K plus a year and be willing to spend lots of money on keeping me in nice new clothes. - Keeping you in them??? :confused: I've just spent the past nine bluddy questions trying to get you out of em!!! :?
11. Must not have any cellulite on any part of their body - Don't like cellulite, I'm more of a spud-u-like gal :happy: no worries, I won't get any down me :? :? :?
So, where's me tickets??? :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Quote by Missy
1. female - oh cor blimey, that's me :shock:
2. aged 26 - that's me too!!!!!!
3. be a Taurus - Not tried this, but can't be that difficult, so yep!! :D
4. have size 34D breasts - Wooohooooo!!!! With a whole lot more to be used as spares too :twisted:
5. have a tight, firm bum and legs to her armpits - Tight, firm bum.... not asked him yet, but sure he'll be able to make it!
6. must swallow - Oh I can swallow, ain't much I can't swallow :undecided: <tucks into another choc digestive>
7. must have long blonde hair - Meeeee again!! :bounce: Ok will have to leave the dye and let me blonde grow through first :?
8. must be shaved - Yep, done that, no tash here any more
9. must be able to travel from anywhere in the world just to have sex with me whenever i so choose - too right!!! :twisted: Look forward to me tickets in the post 8-)
10. must earn 100K plus a year and be willing to spend lots of money on keeping me in nice new clothes. - Keeping you in them??? :confused: I've just spent the past nine bluddy questions trying to get you out of em!!! :?
11. Must not have any cellulite on any part of their body - Don't like cellulite, I'm more of a spud-u-like gal :happy: no worries, I won't get any down me :? :? :?
So, where's me tickets??? :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Missy you're my perfect girl!!! The tickets will be in the post as soon as you tell me ur address! and when u get here i promise i won't be in any clothes!
After reading the replies i've had so far it seems that women like to swallow cum and shave off their pubic hair...after a long and careful deliberation i have decided to lower my standars to include women who only fall under those criteria. In which case...PM me and we can arrange to meet up and swallow my cum whilst i play with ur bald area!
badgerboy
badgerboy
Master of Sex
Has she got to have a particular name as well,sounds like a little britain sketch(episode 1,series 2,"I'm looking for a woman called Linda Williams")
Quote by iluvminis
Has she got to have a particular name as well,sounds like a little britain sketch(episode 1,series 2,"I'm looking for a woman called Linda Williams")
I promise everyone that i have never even watched Little Britain let alone tried to copy anything from it. Clearly i have an award winning nack for writing comedy sketches without even realising.
Quote by berksbex
Right Badger, some of us have fallen for your cunning plan and told you who swallows and who is shaved, now lets hear about a few of your vitals :P
(and do you swallow? :twisted: )
it depends what i'm swallowing as 2 whether i will or not, and i'm not shaved but am willing to be for the right lady! other than that, i'm a Taurus, have no cellulite on my body and am willing to travel from anywhere in the world to have sex with myself. If u want to see or hear anymore of my vitals then pm me and we'll discuss in more detail.
Quote by badgerboy
Right Badger, some of us have fallen for your cunning plan and told you who swallows and who is shaved, now lets hear about a few of your vitals :P
(and do you swallow? :twisted: )
it depends what i'm swallowing as 2 whether i will or not, and i'm not shaved but am willing to be for the right lady! other than that, i'm a Taurus, have no cellulite on my body and am willing to travel from anywhere in the world to have sex with myself. If u want to see or hear anymore of my vitals then pm me and we'll discuss in more detail.
Ah no point....I only pass 4 out of your 11 criteria :cry: though if I go by Missy's criteria I pass with flying colours!
If I did an ad like yours my main criteria would be
1. Do you live near me?
2. Will you turn up?
:lol:
Quote by badgerboy
Hey Laides,
I'm 20 and new to the site and have decided that i shouldn't be 2 fussy when looking for women to meet/chat to. So i only ask that they fit into these criteria;
1. female No
2. aged 26 A lot older
3. be a Taurus Capricorn
4. have size 34D breasts Man Boobs
5. have a tight, firm bum and legs to her armpits Part one Yes, part two No
6. must swallow food only
7. must have long blonde hair Dark, whats left of it
8. must be shaved Every Morning
9. must be able to travel from anywhere in the world just to have sex with me whenever i so choose Not on my Pension
10. must earn 100K plus a year and be willing to spend lots of money on keeping me in nice new clothes. My name is Brinks Mat
11. Must not have any cellulite on any part of their body it is natural to have some
I'm sure you can understand that i am trying to focus my search on a particular type of woman rather than ask for all women to sleep with me and expect a response. I hope this search is fruitfull lol! Bad Apple Here LOL
badgerboy
p.s. I hope u can pick up the sarcasm in what i've said lol. Out of interest, out of 12 how many do u fit in2?!
Sex God
I can do 1 if H lets me into her wardrobe 
