TF for that!!!
*changes lock - puts a bolt on - adds a steel inner piece and brings in Charnley's for advice*
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*** THE GFZ IS CLOSED FOR REFURBISHMENT ***
Staggers back to GFZ the worse for wear - finds the door locked...
Funny - Don't remember doing that!
Pulls stanley knife from back pocket and cuts plastic over door - AH - that reminds me - must get glaziers to call in morning and fit the safety glass in the door........
Hmmmmmmmmm - new lock eh????????
Grabs screwdriver and whistles drunkenly as he removes lock and drops it in the skip outside. Sees all the cock pics in the skip and thinks fondly of Jags......
GOD - I must be pissed!
Ah well - off to bed - gonna ache like buggery in the morning - and me head won't be much better..........
mmmmmmmmmmm - that new sofa looks inviting........
and there is Fly's old blanket and that manky fur coat there....
That'll do!
Lays down on sofa the next time it goes round him and he can get on.....
Puts foot off sofa on floor to stop the bloody thing spinning.....
Ohhh dear - I don't feel toooo goood!
*snore*
Funny - Don't remember doing that!
Pulls stanley knife from back pocket and cuts plastic over door - AH - that reminds me - must get glaziers to call in morning and fit the safety glass in the door........
Hmmmmmmmmm - new lock eh????????
Grabs screwdriver and whistles drunkenly as he removes lock and drops it in the skip outside. Sees all the cock pics in the skip and thinks fondly of Jags......
GOD - I must be pissed!
Ah well - off to bed - gonna ache like buggery in the morning - and me head won't be much better..........
mmmmmmmmmmm - that new sofa looks inviting........
and there is Fly's old blanket and that manky fur coat there....
That'll do!
Lays down on sofa the next time it goes round him and he can get on.....
Puts foot off sofa on floor to stop the bloody thing spinning.....
Ohhh dear - I don't feel toooo goood!
*snore*
ooooh!
ooohhh!
ooowwwwwwww!
Oh god my head hurts....
owww - that is too loud
Thats better.......
What a night.... bloody scratching all night coz summat has bitten me - reckon it came of old Fly's blanket. The bloody sofa deserves to be in Alto Towers coz the ride scared the shit out of me last night.
This place bloody well stinks!!!
And why have I got half a firemans uniform on?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/personal/flintstones/fred1a.jpg
OW my head hurts when I stand up!
I hope that Jacuzzi is warm - I need to get my head straight...
ooohhh!
ooowwwwwwww!
Oh god my head hurts....
owww - that is too loud
Thats better.......
What a night.... bloody scratching all night coz summat has bitten me - reckon it came of old Fly's blanket. The bloody sofa deserves to be in Alto Towers coz the ride scared the shit out of me last night.
This place bloody well stinks!!!
And why have I got half a firemans uniform on?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/personal/flintstones/fred1a.jpg
OW my head hurts when I stand up!
I hope that Jacuzzi is warm - I need to get my head straight...
Good Morning!
What on earth is the fire brigade doing here?
That must have been some fire - the paint on the walls is all brown and cracked.
Such a shame, that lovely orangy peach colour was quite elegant yesterday.
Now - see you later, I'm off to do a spot of riding, has anyone seen my crop?
Mrs Peel.
What on earth is the fire brigade doing here?
That must have been some fire - the paint on the walls is all brown and cracked.
Such a shame, that lovely orangy peach colour was quite elegant yesterday.
Now - see you later, I'm off to do a spot of riding, has anyone seen my crop?
Mrs Peel.
Quote by WilmaFlintstone
Why Emma that's very noble of you, we shall have to break you in slowly. I shall arrange some private tuition with myself, :twisted: :twisted: so as not to drop you in at the deep end.
Oh I think Emma can hold her head above the water in here MrFC. As for breaking her in slowly.......I think she has the hang of things!
Love
Wilma
x x x x
Oh Wilma - let me pretend that I need to be shown the ropes (chains, shackles etc etc!! PLEASE!!!
:wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
Arti sticks head round door, very gingerly, as there seems to be strange smell lingering amid the waning paint fumes
'Mornin' campers! Anybody about! Buggity Bugger, where is everyone. What's this , yep, I can see Fly's pawmarks in the paint , but...hoof-prints. Someone's had an 'oss in here! What the hell did they get up to last night :shock: Hold on...here's a riding crop...by the scars on me Granny's arse....what a night it must have been..what's Jags being doing to 'em. :shock: ..oh, there's initials on it..'E.P'...who the hell is that? .....wonder where that old ewe got to...managed to blag old Knocker that they were all there..he get's confused with big numbers...even worse when he gets to ten...
....well, what a night we had down at the village hall! The big Whist Drive! By the cringe.
All started well, I was paired up with Nudge Arkins...what a lad. We worked out a cracking code between us...all based on Swinging Heaven characters....worked really well:
If we said 'Sappho' or 'Will' it meant Hearts;
Flintstone=Clubs
Mr FC=Diamond (as in geezer-he's from those parts)
Sarge=Spades-as we are still plotting to get him to dig allotment for us.
If we added 'Fred' to it, it meant 'Trumps', for obvious reasons.
'Jags' meant-throw your hand in, we're about to get a thrashing!
'Alex' meant-keep going, something good is around corner.
So, we got all the way to final-in line for the big prize of a Turkey from Ben Boot's Butchers and a ride in a Hot Air Balloon from some newcomer to the village-(didn't catch his name-long sort of streak ,with a little beard and big grin-kept talking about trains all night...looked quite wealthy). Well, we was thrashing our opponents-old Agnes Gilweather and her mate, 'Pansy' Parkinson, when all of a sudden, Pansy jumps up and says,'They're chuffing well cheating!'....could of heard a pin drop. Me and Nudge just looked all hurt and innocent...but Pansy picks up her Mackeson bottle and whacks Nudge across the head. 'Buggity Bugger' , says I,'Referee. I claim a foul '. Well, 'Popper' Hoskins, the local Bobby, who was arbitrating, naturally agreed, and we was awarded the title by default. Poor old Nudge ...he came round just after 'Last Orders'...which was a shame as it was his round..can't go on his Balloon flight as he's likely to be in hospital for a while. So, I've come here looking for that Mrs FC...see if she'll come with me....thought she might get a bit scared up there and need to cling on to summat for comfort.
...
...but nobody is here...so where's that ewe? And where's that bloody dog of mine? Knocker says he was last seen in the Gents at the Bull and Dog, pawing at the vending machine on the wall and wuffing 'I'm too sexy for my shirt....' something funny there....
'Mornin' campers! Anybody about! Buggity Bugger, where is everyone. What's this , yep, I can see Fly's pawmarks in the paint , but...hoof-prints. Someone's had an 'oss in here! What the hell did they get up to last night :shock: Hold on...here's a riding crop...by the scars on me Granny's arse....what a night it must have been..what's Jags being doing to 'em. :shock: ..oh, there's initials on it..'E.P'...who the hell is that? .....wonder where that old ewe got to...managed to blag old Knocker that they were all there..he get's confused with big numbers...even worse when he gets to ten...
....well, what a night we had down at the village hall! The big Whist Drive! By the cringe.
All started well, I was paired up with Nudge Arkins...what a lad. We worked out a cracking code between us...all based on Swinging Heaven characters....worked really well:
If we said 'Sappho' or 'Will' it meant Hearts;
Flintstone=Clubs
Mr FC=Diamond (as in geezer-he's from those parts)
Sarge=Spades-as we are still plotting to get him to dig allotment for us.
If we added 'Fred' to it, it meant 'Trumps', for obvious reasons.
'Jags' meant-throw your hand in, we're about to get a thrashing!
'Alex' meant-keep going, something good is around corner.
So, we got all the way to final-in line for the big prize of a Turkey from Ben Boot's Butchers and a ride in a Hot Air Balloon from some newcomer to the village-(didn't catch his name-long sort of streak ,with a little beard and big grin-kept talking about trains all night...looked quite wealthy). Well, we was thrashing our opponents-old Agnes Gilweather and her mate, 'Pansy' Parkinson, when all of a sudden, Pansy jumps up and says,'They're chuffing well cheating!'....could of heard a pin drop. Me and Nudge just looked all hurt and innocent...but Pansy picks up her Mackeson bottle and whacks Nudge across the head. 'Buggity Bugger' , says I,'Referee. I claim a foul '. Well, 'Popper' Hoskins, the local Bobby, who was arbitrating, naturally agreed, and we was awarded the title by default. Poor old Nudge ...he came round just after 'Last Orders'...which was a shame as it was his round..can't go on his Balloon flight as he's likely to be in hospital for a while. So, I've come here looking for that Mrs FC...see if she'll come with me....thought she might get a bit scared up there and need to cling on to summat for comfort.
......but nobody is here...so where's that ewe? And where's that bloody dog of mine? Knocker says he was last seen in the Gents at the Bull and Dog, pawing at the vending machine on the wall and wuffing 'I'm too sexy for my shirt....' something funny there....
Breakfast, did somebody say breakfast? It's nearly bloody dinner time. w ho left that pizza in the corner :shock: looks familiar!
Arti me old mucker, I think you need to speak with wilma about Fly, somehow I don't think you are going to have the same working relationship...and Dol...er I mean the ewe, well i think the phrase 'mutton dressed as' springs to mind.
Arti me old mucker, I think you need to speak with wilma about Fly, somehow I don't think you are going to have the same working relationship...and Dol...er I mean the ewe, well i think the phrase 'mutton dressed as' springs to mind.
Ah, at last, the lovely Mrs Peel I see you've been out riding your trusty Steed again-I do hope his Bowler wasn't damaged. Gadzooks my comely wench, I likes it when you cracks that riding crop against your leather cat-suit :D Brings me all out in excitation...like a young bull in a thunderstorm. Why don't you park your sophisticated arse over here my lovely and I'll show you a few quaint country traditions....
Now, Mink Coat? Mmm, I wouldn't wear that around here if I was you..no, no, not the animal rights folks you need to worry about:: the Otter Hounds were converted to Mink Hounds a while ago now...could find yourself the centre of unwelcome attention. I certainly wouldn't walk down by the river in it..come to think of it, you should like hunting with a name like yours..
Now, I hear you are blaming me for the fact that aforesaid coat stinks of ferrets; may I remind you that a Mink is merely a ferret that's been to swimming lessons. Hey, don't get uppity...why are you doing all that Martial Arts posing at me? I've got a pink belt in Play-Doh: you'd come off second best. That's better, now, crack that crop a few times for me my lithe beauty and come and talk posh to me, the old artificer feels the Spring stirring in his vitals.....
I see you've been out riding your trusty Steed again-I do hope his Bowler wasn't damaged. Gadzooks my comely wench, I likes it when you cracks that riding crop against your leather cat-suit :D Brings me all out in excitation...like a young bull in a thunderstorm. Why don't you park your sophisticated arse over here my lovely and I'll show you a few quaint country traditions....Now, Mink Coat? Mmm, I wouldn't wear that around here if I was you..no, no, not the animal rights folks you need to worry about:: the Otter Hounds were converted to Mink Hounds a while ago now...could find yourself the centre of unwelcome attention. I certainly wouldn't walk down by the river in it..come to think of it, you should like hunting with a name like yours..
Now, I hear you are blaming me for the fact that aforesaid coat stinks of ferrets; may I remind you that a Mink is merely a ferret that's been to swimming lessons. Hey, don't get uppity...why are you doing all that Martial Arts posing at me? I've got a pink belt in Play-Doh: you'd come off second best. That's better, now, crack that crop a few times for me my lithe beauty and come and talk posh to me, the old artificer feels the Spring stirring in his vitals.....
Mr Articifer
IYou say that a mink is just a ferret that can swim. And you keep a number of ferrets I see. Perhaps with some major disinfection thos ferrets may just make a replacement jacket for me.
As for my crop, just where would you like me to crack it?
I'm afraid I had to change from my riding attire into something more fitting for an afternoon aperitif. However I can retrieve the crop if you so desire!
Now be a good chap and make me a martini and come and sit by me. We can discuss the matter of the coat over drinks.
Mrs Peel
IYou say that a mink is just a ferret that can swim. And you keep a number of ferrets I see. Perhaps with some major disinfection thos ferrets may just make a replacement jacket for me.
As for my crop, just where would you like me to crack it?
I'm afraid I had to change from my riding attire into something more fitting for an afternoon aperitif. However I can retrieve the crop if you so desire!
Now be a good chap and make me a martini and come and sit by me. We can discuss the matter of the coat over drinks.
Mrs Peel
Sex God
i was trying to think what i could donate to the GFZ..... but all i have is a second hand chair, its a bit sodden (blame fred).. but you are welcome to pick it up!!!!!!!
Sex God
Well hello everyone!! Sorry to be so late. I have been away working at an exhibition (ooo-er missus) Friday and Saturday, got here (Shropshire) last night just in time for dinner and the rugby :cry: :cry: :cry:. More of that later.
Did try to get to work earlier this morning – but kept getting distracted!! :twisted:
Anyway, I am here now. Right, Fred – here is the bathroom suite. I have gone for a large shower cubicle. They tried to fob me off with a “two person†one. That would never do for the GFZ. This one should hold at least three, four if we all squeeze up a bit. It could get interesting if someone drops the soap :shock: ! We may have to sacrifice the bidet (that’s “foot washing thingy†to you Fred) now that the shower cubicle is bigger. It seems a shame as it would have been perfect for Fly. Oh well, he will just have to use the Jacuzzi as he’s always done. Just don’t tell the girlies.
By the way, you may have noticed that all the items are a different colour. Bearing in mind that they all “dropped from the rear of a load carrying vehicle†(I think that is the expression) beggars couldn’t really be choosers. The outsize shower is white, the toilet is pink (which ought to please Jags – though it doesn’t have a lid), the basin is peach and the bidet (if we have room for it) is avocado. Why on earth do they insist on giving these bloody things the names of fruits? Given that this is a lads’ bathroom I didn’t think the colours were important. If the girlies don’t like it they can always nip next door to the BFZ where everything smells of that strange pot-pourri stuff.
There’s loads of copper piping to help plumb it all in and I got some of that flexible connector stuff to get the taps plumbed so you don’t have to muck about with bending pipes and what have you.
I need to go and eat now. Lunch is running a bit late for some reason!
By the way. Is Shropshire time different from Berkshire time? All the clocks here are one hour ahead of my watch. Is there something that someone hasn’t told me? 
Good grief – what colour are those walls meant to be?
Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help. I must go. Need to go and tell Sappho what an excellent cook she is (you know how these girlies love to have their ego massaged ). Well, it makes a change from what I was massaging earlier!!! :twisted:
Coming, dear! Will picks up corkscrew and shuffles off. Ooooooh, my back is very stiff this morning. It must have been dismantling the exhibition stand yesterday. Unless it was something else! :shock:
Did try to get to work earlier this morning – but kept getting distracted!! :twisted:
Anyway, I am here now. Right, Fred – here is the bathroom suite. I have gone for a large shower cubicle. They tried to fob me off with a “two person†one. That would never do for the GFZ. This one should hold at least three, four if we all squeeze up a bit. It could get interesting if someone drops the soap :shock: ! We may have to sacrifice the bidet (that’s “foot washing thingy†to you Fred) now that the shower cubicle is bigger. It seems a shame as it would have been perfect for Fly. Oh well, he will just have to use the Jacuzzi as he’s always done. Just don’t tell the girlies.
By the way, you may have noticed that all the items are a different colour. Bearing in mind that they all “dropped from the rear of a load carrying vehicle†(I think that is the expression) beggars couldn’t really be choosers. The outsize shower is white, the toilet is pink (which ought to please Jags – though it doesn’t have a lid), the basin is peach and the bidet (if we have room for it) is avocado. Why on earth do they insist on giving these bloody things the names of fruits? Given that this is a lads’ bathroom I didn’t think the colours were important. If the girlies don’t like it they can always nip next door to the BFZ where everything smells of that strange pot-pourri stuff.
There’s loads of copper piping to help plumb it all in and I got some of that flexible connector stuff to get the taps plumbed so you don’t have to muck about with bending pipes and what have you.
I need to go and eat now. Lunch is running a bit late for some reason!
By the way. Is Shropshire time different from Berkshire time? All the clocks here are one hour ahead of my watch. Is there something that someone hasn’t told me? Good grief – what colour are those walls meant to be?
Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help. I must go. Need to go and tell Sappho what an excellent cook she is (you know how these girlies love to have their ego massaged
). Well, it makes a change from what I was massaging earlier!!! :twisted: Coming, dear! Will picks up corkscrew and shuffles off. Ooooooh, my back is very stiff this morning. It must have been dismantling the exhibition stand yesterday. Unless it was something else! :shock:
My god - took me hours to get kick started this morning - knew I was in trouble when I went outside for a pee and realised I had to choose which one of the three cocks in front of me to have a pee.
Sadly I got the wrong one and peed down my leg - fortunately the fake fur coat is very absorbent and mopped it all up.
The only thing that saddened me was the fact that even with three to choose from there was not a good sized one amongst 'em! :cry:
After 2 hours in the Jacuzzi I felt much better and able to do some work - Managed to get all the rooms upstairs painted and discovered if you mix all the paint together then it cured off inside 10 minutes but didn't half pong! :shock:
Went downstairs for summat to eat only to find some dozy trollop sitting down demanding drinks.............. :twisted:
Sarge - escort her off the premises wil you - bloody interferring with the lads working.
:x
Glad to see the Pool table and all the furniture going in place as well as the bar construction coming on.
Carpy - you can go ahead with all the cabling of the telly an all the other stuff now - paint is all dry - glazing is all finished and the floor is now dry!
Fortunately all the bathroom furniture went in well and the tiling is coming on. Just need Will to get in there and get plumbing.... where the bloody hell is he? :?:
Anyone seen SteveG - fed up of drinking warm beer today.....
Also can someone tell me what MrFC was drinking last night - he has been in a bad mood all day. Someone reckons it was because he and I were competing for the affections of the bird with the blonde curly hair last night. I only remember thinking she was a bit ugly when I got to the party but the alchohol seemed to solve that problem.....
Last I heard though she seemed to go off with Fly..... Strange person! :? :?
I'm beginning to think we are geting there now!
Fred
Sadly I got the wrong one and peed down my leg - fortunately the fake fur coat is very absorbent and mopped it all up.
The only thing that saddened me was the fact that even with three to choose from there was not a good sized one amongst 'em! :cry:
After 2 hours in the Jacuzzi I felt much better and able to do some work - Managed to get all the rooms upstairs painted and discovered if you mix all the paint together then it cured off inside 10 minutes but didn't half pong! :shock:
Went downstairs for summat to eat only to find some dozy trollop sitting down demanding drinks.............. :twisted:
Sarge - escort her off the premises wil you - bloody interferring with the lads working.
:x Glad to see the Pool table and all the furniture going in place as well as the bar construction coming on.
Carpy - you can go ahead with all the cabling of the telly an all the other stuff now - paint is all dry - glazing is all finished and the floor is now dry!
Fortunately all the bathroom furniture went in well and the tiling is coming on. Just need Will to get in there and get plumbing.... where the bloody hell is he? :?:
Anyone seen SteveG - fed up of drinking warm beer today.....
Also can someone tell me what MrFC was drinking last night - he has been in a bad mood all day. Someone reckons it was because he and I were competing for the affections of the bird with the blonde curly hair last night. I only remember thinking she was a bit ugly when I got to the party but the alchohol seemed to solve that problem.....
Last I heard though she seemed to go off with Fly..... Strange person! :? :?
I'm beginning to think we are geting there now!
Fred
Ah Fred - that was you in the Jacuzzi earlier!
Word of warning mate, the glass-bottomed-sunken-jacuzzi idea looked great on paper - but the view from the sofa in the TV area is a bit ..... Disturbing.
So, are we going to get this finished today - or do we need plan B?
lhk
Kat
Word of warning mate, the glass-bottomed-sunken-jacuzzi idea looked great on paper - but the view from the sofa in the TV area is a bit ..... Disturbing.
So, are we going to get this finished today - or do we need plan B?
Quote by FredFFS fred, I know you were seeing three earlier, but is that not going a bit far? :shock:
If so can you help in the bathroom?
lhk
Kat
Fred
I was the cause of Mr FC's state I think - measured him a good Absinthe measure or two. They seemed to go down very easily and combined with whatever else he was drinking would probably have made him feel like I did this morning (ie shite) To nick-name the drink "The Green Fairy" was somebodies idea of a cruel joke.....
As for the TV etc I'll get in and working on it shortly - you may not get much response from me while working but you'll hear me testing it when , most people will hear it when mt testing is in full effect !! If DJohn has listened to the CD I gave him on Friday he'll vouch for that !! :twisted:
I'm off to grab some Scart leads.......
Carpathian
I was the cause of Mr FC's state I think - measured him a good Absinthe measure or two. They seemed to go down very easily and combined with whatever else he was drinking would probably have made him feel like I did this morning (ie shite) To nick-name the drink "The Green Fairy" was somebodies idea of a cruel joke.....
As for the TV etc I'll get in and working on it shortly - you may not get much response from me while working but you'll hear me testing it when , most people will hear it when mt testing is in full effect !! If DJohn has listened to the CD I gave him on Friday he'll vouch for that !! :twisted:
I'm off to grab some Scart leads.......
Carpathian
