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A Dilemma on Fat.

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To diet or not to diet?
I am fat. I like being fat. At least I thought I did...
(fat is good because I am warm and curvy and people like to hug me. Also, I can sit comfortably on any type of surface for a long time without getting a sore arse.) :shock:
... Perhaps I don't! Perhaps I say I do because I'm too lazy to do anything about it...
(thin is good because all clothes fit and the general consensus in society says that thin is healthy and beautiful.)
The question is, would I be happier thin? Maybe, but I've never been thin, so I wouldn't know. It also seems rather hard work to find out. I can't make everyone else think that fat is good, so perhaps it's better to conform after all. :doh:
Should RedVelvet diet for summer? :confused2:
Be yourself. If you are happy and confident then thats what `real` people will find attractive. Unless you feel unhappy with your size, or need to lose weight for health reasons, I`d say don`t mess with a good thing!
Besides, when I tried to diet, all I could think of was food! Ironically, when I stopped caring, I lost three stone! lol
For me, I am happier now I`m thin, but thats me, I didn`t feel that the extra weight paid me any compliments, I`m a very small frame, and it just didn`t sit well on me, but I`ve seen others who are very attractive as larger women.
Venusxxx
Well, unless you're so over weight that you are compromsing your health (which you're not), the question of should you diet is totally a personal one. But, if you're happy now, being thin won't make you happier. If you're not happy now, why would being thin solve all your problems? It wouldn't. Some folks prefer to swing with thin people, but many more prefer cuddly shags - either way, you're swinging life is assured :twisted: . I think the non swinging community has more to say about being fat, but who cares what they think.... 8)
All in all, dunno, as someone who is neither thin nor fat and who's just eaten a big egg butty and an even bigger ice finger, I'd be a fine one to talk if I said any more than that rolleyes wink
My ex partner (saddly she sucumbed to cancer two years ago) blossomed from a size 8 to a size 14 over our time together. She became increasingly upset by this. No matter how much I reassured her as I personally preffered the fuller figure she did not believe me. To make matters worse I went from 16 stone to 11 in the same period .
The reality is if you love someone it doesnt matter. Be comfortable with yourself and enjoy your life and your love because it hurts like hell when someone takes it away from you.
Sorry to appear heavy here but I just wish I could turn the clock back and make her realize how truly stunning she was whatever her size. Dont make the same mistake I am sure you are truly stunning
Quote by RedVelvet
The question is, would I be happier thin? Maybe, but I've never been thin, so I wouldn't know. It also seems rather hard work to find out. I can't make everyone else think that fat is good, so perhaps it's better to conform after all. :doh:
Should RedVelvet diet for summer? :confused2:

For every person who tells you that it’s more attractive to be thin, there is one who will also tell you big is beautiful!
You cant please all the people all of the time. So just concentrate on pleasing yourself!
If you have lived your whole life being cuddly, sexy and happy (and warm!!)... why have it any other way?
i have often thought (fleetingly) about dieting, but have come to the conclusion that i would not be any happier... just hungrier!!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
RV
The reason for dieting should not have the crossover of
a) diet because I'll be healthier and
b) diet because I'll be happier.
The one thing is whatever you do, do it for yourself.
If you are in poor health and losing some weight will make you feel healthier, thats a good reason to diet.
If you diet because you believe you will be happier, that's not a strong enough reason. You may still be unhappy and you will blame the diet and start eating badly again and the weight will go back on and you get into a vicious circle. Look at your lifestyle and see what part of that could make you happier. You may find that if that changes, a side effect could be weight loss. But as this isn't the main aim of the change, you wont be UNhappy if you don't lose weight because that wasn't the intention.
I won't go too deep on here about this, but if you want to talk further about it, just drop me a PM, RV.
And whatever you do, be happy doing it!
Mal
lol
Well, I'm overweight and people keep on telling me that I should do something about it but I didn't start until I wanted to and I'm doing it because I want to do it for me, NOT for anybody else....
So I think that if you're happy then don't worry about it, but if you want to diet then do.....Whatever you do, we'll all support you on here! smile
Quote by RedVelvet
The question is, would I be happier thin? Maybe, but I've never been thin, so I wouldn't know. It also seems rather hard work to find out. I can't make everyone else think that fat is good, so perhaps it's better to conform after all. :doh:
Should RedVelvet diet for summer? :confused2:

The question, IMO, is firstly are you unhappy? If you are, is fat the cause or the symptom? You need to know the answer to that before you make a decision.
If you believe that making a change will make you feel better about yourself for your own reasons, then go for it. If you're happy with yourself the way you are, then stay that way.
In either case I would strongly urge you not to be influenced by whatever anyone else might think. The people who love you do so because of who you are and that won't change, and the people who might want to change you don't love you, so take other people out of the equation completely! Do what you want to do for you and nobody else.
Ice
Losing weight is like stopping smoking. It will only really happen when YOU want it to and if YOU want to do it.
I care not a zot what anyone else thinks of me and my body. I only care about how happy I am and what I want to be. I feel you have 2 choices in life - either accept yourself for what you are or do something about it.
I have always said I suffer from annorexia. Every morning I get out of bed and look in the mirror and see a fat person! (Please, it was a joke - I know annorexia is a real problem - I was just making light of my own weight!)
There is a good book called "Stop the Insanity" by Susan Powter - It is annoying and condescending in parts but it talks about changing your lifestyle and attitudes which lead to weight loss. If anyone wishes to do something about their weight then I recommend you get hold of a copy and read it. What it will teach you about is normal dieting makes you fat because of the "Feast/Famine" routine.
I always say that I am fat because I eat to much. That is honesty! I also say that as long as my mouth is bigger than my arse I will always have trouble stopping weight going on. If I had to push all my dietry requirements into an orifice the size of my arse - I would lose weight!
Am I really fat - Well, not toooo fat. I am 5'9" tall and weigh 13st 2lb butt naked this morning! I have a 42" chest and a 36" waist with a bit of a paunch above it. To me I am carrying excess weight of about 9 lb and I am losing it for my own health reasons. Wilma does not want me to lose too much and I have already lost 2 stone in the last 2 years. Rest assured I will never be thin - not whilst I have the willpower of a flip-flop and chocolate populates the shelves of my local supermarket or the fridge in the house!
Be what YOU want to be and be happy - life is too short.
*steps off orange box*
Fred
Well given me some food for thought, I have been considering losing weight... I can make you feel light Fred, being nearly 21 stone, but I also 6 5 and hide it well...
Still a test for diabetes this afternoon waking me up to trying to lose it for my health. Really though I not one to offer advice, just planning on taking some of the good advice in the thread.
Thank you all for your advice. I guess the bottom line is.. if it aint broke, don't fix it. I love food, and because of that I'm big. I like being big, (tucks into a late night eclair) so all is well.
I guess rather than convince folk that big is beautiful we should convince each other... or rather - tell each other... that we are all beautiful no matter what we look like. I wish everyone could be happy with their bodies as I am of mine. (That includes you Fred kiss )
Quote by RedVelvet
(That includes you Fred kiss )

Don't get me wrong - I am happy with myself and what I am doing. I was never disgusted with myself or unhappy about my weight. Just one day I decided I wanted to lose some weight for the sake of my health and fitness having spent 4 years living in hotels around the world and I feel so much better physically. It was the same when I gave up smoking. I just decided one day I was a non smoker!
As those who attend our parties will testify - I am not ashamed of my body at all! In fact I do believe I have 2 further bookings! rolleyes :roll: :roll:
Fred
Here I go again, stumbling in halfway through (near the end?) of a discussion thread. For what it's worth ........
If your weight's affecting your health, do something about it. If it isn't, do whatever feels right to you.
Some guys prefer women with a little extra. (Like me, for example.) Some guys find it a turn-off. Some women look down on other women who're carrying extra weight; some women sympathise.
Who cares? Anybody who judges another person by the way they look is somebody whose opinion doesn't matter a tuppeny fart, so don't waste time canvassing it.
Relax, be happy, enjoy your own body and there'll be plenty of others who will share your opinion of yourself.
Here endeth the lesson.
For now.
(Sorry.)
Hey Red,
You are beautiful! I met you at a munch and thought you were gorgeous. Be yourself - you are lovely as is
Tang
For what its worth I'll add my voice to this.
I have a wife who is big and beautiful, I am also a big bloke (6'3" and 18 stone), however since we have started swinging Charlotte gets more offers from blokes than she could possibly keep up with.
We were also rather apprehensive when we first went to a couples club - worried that everyone would be tanned and toned and we would stick out like a sore thumb. The truth was the complete opposite, we had a really great time, felt completely comfortable and hooked up with a couple who if we had looked at their pictures in advance we would have thought were completely out of our league.
The lesson we took from all this is if you are with the right people it really is what is inside that counts.
So to all you big girls (and guys) don't worry about it and have a good time. lol
I'm sorry to hear what you and your wife went through Warwick, I really am, such a tragic thing.
RV, I am also on the larger scale - always wanting to lose weight but instead of the happier/unhappier scale, I go by the options of either having very full, rounded boobs by staying as I am or losing weight and having them deflate and fall down to my knees confused - I have lost a little bit and (for those that have seen me, believe it or not!!) the first place it went from was my boobs grrrrrr. Bluddy nowt off my stomach! evil
One thing I have noticed is the attitude of people in this scene. Everyone recognises that we are ALL different in some way. We are all men and women with bodies unique to ourselves. Don't think that slim people have no body issues, we all do. Since I have been in contact with people into swinging I have never felt so comfortable with myself.
So carry on being happy with your uniqueness I say 8)