Imagine you are given absolute power to change one small minor thing, not poverty, world peace, war or famine, but something small and insignificant, something that annoys you, but few other people. What would you change and why?
I would make annoying little jobsworths wear a uniform of Clowns shoes and big baggy trousers, and make it mandatory to hit them with a stick whenever you see one.
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Absolute Power
I would make the annoying little people who think that they have the 'right' to kick the system cos they don't agree with it despite signing up to it wear a uniform of Clowns shoes and big baggy trousers, and make it mandatory to hit them with a stick whenever you see one.
I liked the 'punishment' so knicked it....
:lol:
I liked the 'punishment' so knicked it....
:lol: 
Sex God
I would make my eyebrows incapable of growing any new hairs or regrowing any that I pluck out :smug:
Sex God
I would make the housework and gardening magically do themselves..too much?
see those people?
there they are...right now...they're walking down the pavemant towards you.. two or three abreast...
you've seen them, they've seen you... you all quite aware of each other... so all is good...
there shouldn't be a problem at all as it appears you are about to approach and pass each other at that lamppost should it?...
nah...it'll be fine... you'll just ease on over to one side of the pavement, and they'll do the same, an easy and trouble-free pass... no mess, no fuss...
a simple maneuouvre (if not a simple spelling)
but nooooo... even though they should wellll be aware of the heavy bag you may be carrying... the child you're shepherding, the wheelchair you're assisting.... nooooooo..
do they move?
do they Hell!
a clashing of shoulders/elbows... forced into hedgerow... brickwall
what the hell is that all about... you move for them...why wont they move for you???
bastards
so....
instantly transported into the local stinking duckpond.. knee-deep in filth, condoms, and beercans for them... (I could think of nowhere else off of the top of my head...)... can I borrow the big shoes and beating with sticks thingie too?..please?
do these folk annoy me...?
just a bit?
you bet!
lp
there they are...right now...they're walking down the pavemant towards you.. two or three abreast...
you've seen them, they've seen you... you all quite aware of each other... so all is good...
there shouldn't be a problem at all as it appears you are about to approach and pass each other at that lamppost should it?...
nah...it'll be fine... you'll just ease on over to one side of the pavement, and they'll do the same, an easy and trouble-free pass... no mess, no fuss...
a simple maneuouvre (if not a simple spelling)
but nooooo... even though they should wellll be aware of the heavy bag you may be carrying... the child you're shepherding, the wheelchair you're assisting.... nooooooo..
do they move?
do they Hell!
a clashing of shoulders/elbows... forced into hedgerow... brickwall
what the hell is that all about... you move for them...why wont they move for you???
bastards
so....
instantly transported into the local stinking duckpond.. knee-deep in filth, condoms, and beercans for them... (I could think of nowhere else off of the top of my head...)... can I borrow the big shoes and beating with sticks thingie too?..please?
do these folk annoy me...?
just a bit?
you bet!
lp
Sex God
I would abolish doctor's receptionists that say "we only have emergency appointments left. Is it an emergency?"
Well I don't fecking know yet do I until the doctor tells me :undecided:
Well I don't fecking know yet do I until the doctor tells me :undecided:
Quote by LondonPlaything
see those people?
there they are...right now...they're walking down the pavemant towards you.. two or three abreast...
you've seen them, they've seen you... you all quite aware of each other... so all is good...
there shouldn't be a problem at all as it appears you are about to approach and pass each other at that lamppost should it?...
nah...it'll be fine... you'll just ease on over to one side of the pavement, and they'll do the same, an easy and trouble-free pass... no mess, no fuss...
a simple maneuouvre (if not a simple spelling)
but nooooo... even though they should wellll be aware of the heavy bag you may be carrying... the child you're shepherding, the wheelchair you're assisting.... nooooooo..
do they move?
do they Hell!
a clashing of shoulders/elbows... forced into hedgerow... brickwall
what the hell is that all about... you move for them...why wont they move for you???
bastards
so....
instantly transported into the local stinking duckpond.. knee-deep in filth, condoms, and beercans for them... (I could think of nowhere else off of the top of my head...)... can I borrow the big shoes and beating with sticks thingie too?..please?
do these folk annoy me...?
just a bit?
you bet!
lp
One day when I’m feeling brave and all is quiet, I’d like to borrow your mind. Just for a bit, and with my hand on the ejector seat, I’d like to look into the void and wonder at it all.
Quote by Stormwalker
One day when I’m feeling brave and all is quiet, I’d like to borrow your mind. Just for a bit, and with my hand on the ejector seat, I’d like to look into the void and wonder at it all.
Hush now Stormy... think about it... the thing is... you already know where Im coming from... and that's the really scary thing innit?
so can I use the stick/boot thingie...or what?
lp
Sex God
Quote by Stormwalker
see those people?
there they are...right now...they're walking down the pavemant towards you.. two or three abreast...
you've seen them, they've seen you... you all quite aware of each other... so all is good...
there shouldn't be a problem at all as it appears you are about to approach and pass each other at that lamppost should it?...
nah...it'll be fine... you'll just ease on over to one side of the pavement, and they'll do the same, an easy and trouble-free pass... no mess, no fuss...
a simple maneuouvre (if not a simple spelling)
but nooooo... even though they should wellll be aware of the heavy bag you may be carrying... the child you're shepherding, the wheelchair you're assisting.... nooooooo..
do they move?
do they Hell!
a clashing of shoulders/elbows... forced into hedgerow... brickwall
what the hell is that all about... you move for them...why wont they move for you???
bastards
so....
instantly transported into the local stinking duckpond.. knee-deep in filth, condoms, and beercans for them... (I could think of nowhere else off of the top of my head...)... can I borrow the big shoes and beating with sticks thingie too?..please?
do these folk annoy me...?
just a bit?
you bet!
lp
One day when I’m feeling brave and all is quiet, I’d like to borrow your mind. Just for a bit, and with my hand on the ejector seat, I’d like to look into the void and wonder at it all.
carefull what you wish for stormy... :scared: Quote by LondonPlaything
One day when I’m feeling brave and all is quiet, I’d like to borrow your mind. Just for a bit, and with my hand on the ejector seat, I’d like to look into the void and wonder at it all.
Hush now Stormy... think about it... the thing is... you already know where Im coming from... and that's the really scary thing innit?
so can I use the stick/boot thingie...or what?
lp
Yes my friend I do. :eeek:
Fecking scary just doesn’t do it justice does it?
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: borrow away....
I would make crisps and chocolate not only non fattening, but positively good for you as well 
And I with you LP, youngsters with their trousers round their knees - if caught, they're forced to wear their strides just under their armpits á la Simon Cowell! 8-)
Pointless constant foul language, automatically deducts money out the culprits pocket and into the swear box! :twisted:
And I with you LP, youngsters with their trousers round their knees - if caught, they're forced to wear their strides just under their armpits á la Simon Cowell! 8-)
Pointless constant foul language, automatically deducts money out the culprits pocket and into the swear box! :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by Missy
Pointless constant foul language, automatically deducts money out the culprits pocket and into the swear box! :twisted:
Fuck that.
Sex God
Quote by davej
Pointless constant foul language, automatically deducts money out the culprits pocket and into the swear box! :twisted:
Fuck that.
I love you Davej :inlove:
Sex God
I would make every double bedroom in the world have an ensuite shower and loo 
I'm just about to move and it won't have one 
I'm just about to move and it won't have one Sex God
Quote by firelizard
I would make every double bedroom in the world have an ensuite shower and loo
We got the loo although Ikea sold it as a wardrobe
Quote by Stormwalker
Imagine you are given absolute power to change one small minor thing, not poverty, world peace, war or famine, but something small and insignificant, something that annoys you, but few other people. What would you change and why?
I would make annoying little jobsworths wear a uniform of Clowns shoes and big baggy trousers, and make it mandatory to hit them with a stick whenever you see one.
Quote by firelizard
I would make my eyebrows incapable of growing any new hairs or regrowing any that I pluck out :smug:
Quote by firelizard
I would abolish doctor's receptionists that say "we only have emergency appointments left. Is it an emergency?"
Well I don't fecking know yet do I until the doctor tells me :undecided:
Quote by firelizard
I would make every double bedroom in the world have an ensuite shower and loo
So which part of “one small minor thing” do you not understand?
As it’s my thread I’ll have another go…….
I’d make my wife have to do everything I tell her to…
Without any bloody back chat.
Oh, and twatcos would have to sell everything at cost :kick:
Warming the Bed
I would make the flem that people spit out onto the ground in public places fly back and hit them in the face.
on their way for you petal...