Abuse

4 Dec 2005

As some of you are probably aware I was 'sexually abused' last night. (I have posted separately from the thanks thread as not to put a dampener on it)
The guy concerned made unwelcome advances on two occasions, and politely told no and pushed away, and a good friend helped me out of the situation. The third occasion was out and out abuse and a few friends (and I'm sorry I don't know who you all were as it happened so fast) circled me and separated the guy concerned from me.
I'd like to say a big thanks to those people involved and thank you for not making a scene. A big thank you to my hubby for trusting me enough and not putting the guy in hospital (that is my job!!!).
The mods have been informed and appropriate action has been taken.
The reason I'm posting this, is because I'm a very confident person and I dealt with it (with help smile

), but less confident people or newer members may feel intimidated and end up with issues if this happened to them.
These incidents happen very rarely and if they do, there is plenty of support for the person concerned and action will be taken against the offending person. Therefore I throw this open for regular trusted members to reassure the newer and less confident peeps that support is out there.
At the moment I'm flucking mad

and hopefully that is the only after effects I will feel.
Thank you to you all, for a wonderful night and making sure that one bad apple didn't spoil the whole night for me. passionkiss

kaz xxxxxx
PS I know there is a similar thread in the archives but didn't feel it would serve any purpose to drag it back up as a lot of the stuff posted is not relevant to this.
The people that do know who the guy was, do not post the name on the forum, it is not allowed or appropriate. Thanks

4 Dec 2005

babes thats awfull!!
i wish i could give you a big hug now.
its a good thing that you are the kind of person who feels she can deal with it, but still should never have been put in that position in the first place.
love and kisses coming to you from my end,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

4 Dec 2005

Im so glad you had trustworthy people there to help out .
Dosent bare thinking about if you hadnt
Carnt help but think about you today
And i didnt even say hi to you last night at the munch
So a big hiiiiiiii xxxxxxxxxxxx

4 Dec 2005

Kaz,
Im so sorry to hear this happened last night, I sincerely hope you are ok. I wasnt aware of this last night, so not sure if it happened at the end after me and will_32 had left, or earlier on. We dont need guys like that in the scene and its right that he should be banned from the site and all future events. No one has the right to act in such a way.
kiss

4 Dec 2005

Really sorry to hear that Kaz. Not much I can do but say that if anyone is ever in a situation like that and I'm around then I'll help out all I can.
:therethere:

4 Dec 2005

Big kisses to you Kaz. I know how horrible it is when things like this happen, and what an effect it can have on the person at the receiving end. I hope you get the support of your friends and the understanding of others who hear about it, as unfortunately these things can sometimes lead to people taking sides, which is very unpleasant to witness.
kiss

4 Dec 2005

really sorry this happened to you,
if the person is someone that is on this site and has talked to others as well he sould be found, hopefully he has and will be banned from this site.
and he sound be reported to the police as well, as just because we are from a swinging site it does not mean we are happy to except this kind of action..
again i hope you are ok
rob

4 Dec 2005

Kaz,
I am so sorry to hear of this, and sorry if I am going against the greain but I seriously think he should be named n shamed. I dare say his membership will be removed from this site but he may well be on others.
You are confident enough to deal with idiots like this, and if you hadn't been there were plenty of others around you who were..........maybe the next one won't have that luxury
sorry rant over

4 Dec 2005

Kaz
I too didn't get chance to say hello last night
but I am sending you hug vibes via www now :therethere:
It is the mention you give to the guys who supported you
in this incident that relates to another occurance last night.
At the end of the evening a group were arranging to go to Partners
(We were a bit miffed we couldn't go too but we had to get back to the kids, as you do!)
Anyway, one of the girls hadn't been to a club before & the guys were assuring her that tthey would be there with her all the time & she wouldn't have to do anything she didn't want to & they would make sure she was ok.
Basically this sums up what this community is about
and as a result I am proud to be part of it.
Well done guys (whoever you are) and well done Kaz for handling it so well,
take care hun xxxx

4 Dec 2005

Hugs for you Kaz as it cant have been a nice experience at all. kiss

As has been said though this thread serves a purpose of reminding new members on here that other people will look out for them and help out in situations like this, it also reminds those people who would chance behavior they wouldn't usually dream of just because we're swingers that they won't get away with it. mad

4 Dec 2005

Thanks for your hugs, kisses and support, it is really appreciated.
Angel as you said unfortunately it can lead to people taking sides and I thought long and hard and took advice from close friends before I posted publically.
If anyone is friends with the guy, no problem and I personally am not going to fall out with them over it.
The action taken against him wasnt just taken on heresay from me and certainly i wouldnt expect anyone just to accept my side of the story.
As phire as said, he will step in and help if needed and the point of the post is to show others that that the community and friends will support and help stop this kind of thing happening.
kaz xxxx

4 Dec 2005

Jeez kaz, that is awful sad

We're thinking of you.
I'll PM you hun.
Fee and the Laird
XX

4 Dec 2005

I didnt see the incident but was bluddy annoyed that he felt that he could do that.... I wouldn't have blamed you for slapping him the first time he did it....
He has gone from this site and I hope that this serves as a lesson to all the people that think they can try their luck... In swinging NO means just that... NO!!.....
Kaz hun, I send you big hugs and kiss

Shireen
xxx

4 Dec 2005

hugs Kaz.
cant say much more than that hun, other than Thankyou, for speaking out.
p.s wanna borrow me sig ?

4 Dec 2005

glad your okay loads of hugs and kisses your way kiss

4 Dec 2005

Big big hugs Kaz hun
Things like this make me mad

4 Dec 2005

for you! I hope your ok now hun, other than really I thought you dealt with it wonderfully last night, you were certainly a lot calmer than I would have been! I hope it didn't spoil your whole evening.
Just a note to munch newbies, this kind of behaviour is rare so please do not be put off attending future events. As you can see there were people on hand to help deal with the situation, and the person concerned has been banned. Also, rest assured, that it is taken seriously and will not be tolerated!

4 Dec 2005

Quote by mistress_sassy
Just a note to munch newbies, this kind of behaviour is rare so please do not be put off attending future events. As you can see there were people on hand to help deal with the situation, and the person concerned has been banned. Also, rest assured, that it is taken seriously and will not be tolerated!

What she said!! :thumbup:
A polite no thanks means exactly that. Respect and trust are paramount here, No means No, its that simple. Take the hint, accept the persons wishes, and leave it alone. :thumbup:

4 Dec 2005

I am assuming this happened after I left, as although I am no "muscle man" I would always try and defend a ladies honour.
You sound as if you can deal with this incident Kaz and I understand your concern for any newer female members, but a man should still have repect for a ladies wishes, despite what effect alchohol may have.

4 Dec 2005

Hi kaz
Doesn't matter that i have never met you, behaviour like that can't be condoned reguardless of social group,situation or circumstances,at any time Im sorry but i would name names
Hope you are O K
:thumbup:

4 Dec 2005

Quote by farmersboy
Hi kaz
Doesn't matter that i have never met you, behaviour like that can't be condoned reguardless of social group,situation or circumstances,at any time Im sorry but i would name names
Hope you are O K
:thumbup:

There is a point here, what if the said person frequents other venues/sites and does the same ?? No one would know confused

4 Dec 2005

I'm very sorry to hear about what happened Kaz - hope you feel okay again soon. I was not at the munch, but have been to quite a few others. It just shows that we still have to be wary.
Mike.

4 Dec 2005

Horrified to hear of your ideal, I hope you've regained your composure. I was not there but assume this occurred at the weekend "munch" - if so, it would seem that the "munch" has served a very useful purpose in identifying someone who should not be "on the scene"
Thanks for highlighting it to us newbies in such a positive way.

5 Dec 2005

Oh no - not our Kaz - that's so dreadful! kiss

There is no need for naming just so long as we are sure he will not appear again.
Have a big :therethere: from me.

5 Dec 2005

Kaz you have my hugs as well as pm's
Think you dealt with it well hunni
and my shoulders here if you need it some more kiss

5 Dec 2005

Quote by MikeNorth
It just shows that we still have to be wary.
Mike.

Hi Mike.
You're right, we can't afford to be complacent. In an ideal world, this would never ever happen, but once in a while an undesireable may slip through the very efficient net. While we do have to be wary as you say, I think it's important that new people understand that even while we're all doing what we do better than anyone... having the time of our lives... we're still looking out for you, and for those people who might think it's a free for all, I hope this thread helps them to understand that we are family, and nobody is fair game just because they're a swinger, and if the person standing next to you is allowed some liberties, that doesn't give you permission.
Kaz - well done for going public with this and for the way you handled it. kiss

I know how outraged you were - I saw your face, and someone else might have panicked and done the guy some serious damage. He can thank his lucky stars you had your screwed on. Big hugs to you hun. passionkiss

5 Dec 2005

I think they should be named and shamed purely to show others that naming will be the result should any one try it in the future. mad

5 Dec 2005

Quote by markz
I think they should be named and shamed

No naming and shaming on this site!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Action has been taken and this person will not be attending any future functions or taking part in any area of this site.

5 Dec 2005

Kaz has gone to get a bath she says thanks for all the messages of support and pms she will post later on or tomorrow
Can i stress this was an isolated incident and the piss head has been dealt with. All the relevant people that need to know do know and we don't believe name and shame is the right way to approach this incident
This thread is not looking for a sympathy vote, it is to say thank you to the whole community and to reassure any others that if incidents like this arise there is always people there to count on and help
I think this guy signed up to the site hoping for a quick shag with easy women and as we all know that is not how things work round here
once again thank you all and lets not let this spoil the memory of a bloody good well organised evening
ps
anyone fancy a shag lol

5 Dec 2005

Quote by SirLee
anyone fancy a shag

Not if its only a quick one! :lol: