pinching a couple of thoughts from others threads really. It does seem quite a few people don't like idea of pictures being taken or a cam on at a party etc etc. Now although this is fully acceptable, it does make we think why ? Most will say because they don't want work or family knowing that they are swingers !! Now swinging is not illegal activity, and it is all done with the consent of all involved. Why are we so worried? What are we so scared of ? And yes I am including myself in this as non of my friends or family are aware, of this part of my life.
Just makes me wonder really.... If we all accepted ourselves and acceted we are swingers and celebrated the fact, MAYBE others would see swingers in a differant light. MAYBE they would become more accepting of the lifestyle. MAYBE we have to accept ourselves, before we can expect others to accept us !!
Just a thought.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Accepting we are swingers
Quote by deancannock
pinching a couple of thoughts from others threads really. It does seem quite a few people don't like idea of pictures being taken or a cam on at a party etc etc. Now although this is fully acceptable, it does make we think why ? Most will say because they don't want work or family knowing that they are swingers !! Now swinging is not illegal activity, and it is all done with the consent of all involved. Why are we so worried? What are we so scared of ? And yes I am including myself in this as non of my friends or family are aware, of this part of my life.
Just makes me wonder really.... If we all accepted ourselves and acceted we are swingers and celebrated the fact, MAYBE others would see swingers in a differant light. MAYBE they would become more accepting of the lifestyle. MAYBE we have to accept ourselves, before we can expect others to accept us !!Just a thought.
Check the F1 thread and whilst that guys sexual activities may have not been the norm for a lot of people, nor is the swinging scene.
People are a tad afraid that someone from their work might find out, or even a family member. People who are not in the scene just cannot understand our morals here. A lot would think people meeting others purely for sex, or a couple swapping partners would be looked down on by most.
Mrs777 does show her face on cam whenever she goes on but most like to stay hidden and only show their bodies. In the " real " world out there people would not accept swinging is in the norm catagory, and for that most people like to remain discreet, and to be honest can understand that.
Sex God
For me it comes down to discretion and yes, disapproval, from family and colleagues. I do not think there is anything particularly wrong in what I do (after all, I'm a single girl, so am not hurting anyone) however I would rather I kept it to myself. Nothing wrong with discretion is there? 
I never was a notches on bedpost/boasting kind of a gal!! 
I never was a notches on bedpost/boasting kind of a gal!! 
Sex God
And a very good one.
however (there's always one
)
When we first got into the lifestyle I was....
1) working in a government job where had it come out, I would have been escorted from my desk, never to darken the doorstep again. Swinging is officially seen as a security risk as it is perceived to leave a person open to blackmail.
2)My children were younger and still at school and I could not bear the thought of the taunts and bullying that would ensue if my personal choices became locally public.
Now its different, all my family know or suspect what i'm up to, the neighbors certainly do
and to be honest, I don't care, some approve, some don't most don't give a monkies.
I now have face pics on my profile because i want them there, if however i was to attend a party where a live cam was running i would beat a hasty retreat.
not because of any shyness on my part but simply because if anyone wants me to become part of some cheap 'look at me' publicity stunt, then i want paying thank you very much, and having recently been in contact with someone who works in the porn industry, and chatted about 'going rates', i seriously doubt you could afford me.
each to their own
however (there's always one
)When we first got into the lifestyle I was....
1) working in a government job where had it come out, I would have been escorted from my desk, never to darken the doorstep again. Swinging is officially seen as a security risk as it is perceived to leave a person open to blackmail.
2)My children were younger and still at school and I could not bear the thought of the taunts and bullying that would ensue if my personal choices became locally public.
Now its different, all my family know or suspect what i'm up to, the neighbors certainly do
and to be honest, I don't care, some approve, some don't most don't give a monkies.I now have face pics on my profile because i want them there, if however i was to attend a party where a live cam was running i would beat a hasty retreat.
not because of any shyness on my part but simply because if anyone wants me to become part of some cheap 'look at me' publicity stunt, then i want paying thank you very much, and having recently been in contact with someone who works in the porn industry, and chatted about 'going rates', i seriously doubt you could afford me.
each to their own
it is nothing to do with swinging for me.
All of my family and friends and my work colleagues know including my 15 year old son. (I don't look old enough do I ?)
For me it is about my picture being taken by people I don't really know, with people I don't really know. My face is mine and my privacy is mine. I don't want to be in the background of anyone's picture and I certainly don't want to be on a camera somewhere being used for anything over which I have no control.
Trust and privacy are the keywords here.
All of my family and friends and my work colleagues know including my 15 year old son. (I don't look old enough do I ?)
For me it is about my picture being taken by people I don't really know, with people I don't really know. My face is mine and my privacy is mine. I don't want to be in the background of anyone's picture and I certainly don't want to be on a camera somewhere being used for anything over which I have no control.
Trust and privacy are the keywords here.
If I didn't have kids, I really wouldn't give two hoots.
It would be great to be able to make a "yes, I have an alternative sex life" statement- because as I've said on another thread it's only by enough people doing so that things will ever be accepted.
However, we do have kids. And at the moment, it's not the "norm." This means the kids would be disadvantaged and picked on. They only have one childhood, and I'm not prepared to wreck it to further the cause.
It would be great to be able to make a "yes, I have an alternative sex life" statement- because as I've said on another thread it's only by enough people doing so that things will ever be accepted.
However, we do have kids. And at the moment, it's not the "norm." This means the kids would be disadvantaged and picked on. They only have one childhood, and I'm not prepared to wreck it to further the cause.
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
it is nothing to do with swinging for me.
All of my family and friends and my work colleagues know including my 15 year old son. (I don't look old enough do I ?)
For me it is about my picture being taken by people I don't really know, with people I don't really know. My face is mine and my privacy is mine. I don't want to be in the background of anyone's picture and I certainly don't want to be on a camera somewhere being used for anything over which I have no control.
Trust and privacy are the keywords here.
There are so many times when it feels like you have typed far more eloquently what I was trying to say! :thumbup:
Quote by noladreams30
splendid_ come round my house and take my picture, from every angle, while I am using my tongue to take you to all the places you want me to take you.
in edit- as the above indicates. 'things' can be taken out of context and that is why I refuse to have my photo taken by anyone other than by those that I know well and trust.
Sex God
Quote by Pete_sw
1) working in a government job....
I thought i recognised that well honed physique
remind me never to throw an egg at you :giggle:
( )
I have a dicotomy.I am not ashamed of my lifestyle and am happy to go on cam and put my pics on sh as the only people that can see are like minded swingers who have paid to be on sh.
I work in the public sector and guess that swinging would be frouned upon but say for example, my boss wanted to check i was swinging he would have to pay to search swinging sites, of which there are many, to find me.
We have been at these parties and hosted some where the cam has been on, all there are aware that the cam is on and NO ONE has EVER objected. That said these are social events and not playing as i do draw the line there. That is my personal choice. But some people like being watched on cam and i must say i like watching.
I have come to the conclusion that in all walks of life people have choices. Either you do or you dont, but that is entirely up to the individual and who are we to judge.
I work in the public sector and guess that swinging would be frouned upon but say for example, my boss wanted to check i was swinging he would have to pay to search swinging sites, of which there are many, to find me.
We have been at these parties and hosted some where the cam has been on, all there are aware that the cam is on and NO ONE has EVER objected. That said these are social events and not playing as i do draw the line there. That is my personal choice. But some people like being watched on cam and i must say i like watching.
I have come to the conclusion that in all walks of life people have choices. Either you do or you dont, but that is entirely up to the individual and who are we to judge.
let me just say the camera and cam issue..is jsut an aside. Thi thing i'm getting at is, that as we have all commented, swinging is not looked on favorably in the wider society. maybe if we were more open and people could see what swinging was really all about, it would indeed bbecome more acceptable.
Lets not forget it is not that long agao that gay relationships and single mother relationships were frowned upon. Maybe if we were more open....then society would be more accepting.
Lets not forget it is not that long agao that gay relationships and single mother relationships were frowned upon. Maybe if we were more open....then society would be more accepting.
Personally I don't really give a flying fuck who knows. The people who are important to me already know. They don't approve, but they do know.
As for cameras, well my only objection is purely personal. I don't like to see pics of me because they never match self-image I have in my own mind. Again, I don't really care who else sees them.
It has to be said though that my personal situation is that my sexual activities, should they be known, wouldn't affect it in the slightest.
PS: Splendid, no sweetie, you don't look old enough to have a 15 year-old son!
As for cameras, well my only objection is purely personal. I don't like to see pics of me because they never match self-image I have in my own mind. Again, I don't really care who else sees them.
It has to be said though that my personal situation is that my sexual activities, should they be known, wouldn't affect it in the slightest.
PS: Splendid, no sweetie, you don't look old enough to have a 15 year-old son!
Sex God
Quote by splendid_
splendid_ come round my house and take my picture, from every angle, while I am using my tongue to take you to all the places you want me to take you.
in edit- as the above indicates. 'things' can be taken out of context and that is why I refuse to have my photo taken by anyone other than by those that I know well and trust.
Yeah... but that 'out of context' sounds like a whole lotta fun!! :twisted:
Orgasminator
Its not an issue for me personally -- all of my friends, my immediate family ( though not my youngest daughter) and my ex are aware that I swing. I'm retired so I don't worry about employers, and both my parents died a few years ago so I'm not worried about causing embarassment to others. However I am aware that swinging is not well regarded in certain areas and I personally know of two people who have been dismissed from their jobs when their employers learnt of their activities outside of the workplace.
Quote by deancannock
Lets not forget it is not that long agao that gay relationships and single mother relationships were frowned upon. Maybe if we were more open....then society would be more accepting.
And gay relationships aren't frowned on now? It's 40 years since gay sex between 2 consenting adults became legal but it would take a brave pair to walk hand in hand into most pubs in this country.
I don't discuss our sex life with family, friends or at work ... why would I start now? I can't see any advantage to us in letting everyone know we are swingers but can see plenty of potentially major disadvantages. Quite simply, we've no desire at all to tell people outside the scene what we do.
If I could, I would be more open about my new found lifestyle, but I can't because of the work I'm in. I'm a carer for the elderly, and have asked questions in a roundabout way to a couple of the people I care for, and they have been very derogatory about the whole swinging thing... so I don't feel that I can be more open.. and if some of them new I was bi aswell.... all hell would be let loose!!
I like having a little secret anyway.... makes me feel good! People say I look sweet and innocent.. if only they knew.......
I like having a little secret anyway.... makes me feel good! People say I look sweet and innocent.. if only they knew.......
Quote by Misskitty_2008
If I could, I would be more open about my new found lifestyle, but I can't because of the work I'm in. I'm a carer for the elderly, and have asked questions in a roundabout way to a couple of the people I care for, and they have been very derogatory about the whole swinging thing... so I don't feel that I can be more open.. and if some of them new I was bi aswell.... all hell would be let loose!!
I like having a little secret anyway.... makes me feel good! People say I look sweet and innocent.. if only they knew.......
i must admit i like having it as my little secret too.... seems to make it more exciting
Quote by deancannock
pinching a couple of thoughts from others threads really. It does seem quite a few people don't like idea of pictures being taken or a cam on at a party etc etc. Now although this is fully acceptable, it does make we think why ? Most will say because they don't want work or family knowing that they are swingers !! Now swinging is not illegal activity, and it is all done with the consent of all involved. Why are we so worried? What are we so scared of ? And yes I am including myself in this as non of my friends or family are aware, of this part of my life.
Just makes me wonder really.... If we all accepted ourselves and acceted we are swingers and celebrated the fact, MAYBE others would see swingers in a differant light. MAYBE they would become more accepting of the lifestyle. MAYBE we have to accept ourselves, before we can expect others to accept us !!
Just a thought.
speaking for myself only, my main worry is that my children find out, it only takes the wrong person to know what your upto and they talk about it infront of their kids who in return tell my kids etc etc now i know swinging isnt illegal but that dont mean i want my children to know what mum and dad is upto and even more so i dont want them being bullied at school for it!
Casanova
I'm NOT a swinger! I thought this was a dating site 
The thing is, what with all the concern about being found out and the devastating effects of rumour and gossip, there are a few out there having a pretty desperate time of swinging because of their worries.
So is it really worth it if you are prone to those kind of feelings? Would it be simpler to use a standard dating site and work it that way. At worst one could be accused of cheating but without the implications and complications of being involved with something that could be seen as far more sinister.
Or would it just be a lot simpler if you didn't have any such feelings in the first place? Stayed at home and did something sensible instead.
Like pottery? I think all frustrated swingers are really avid pottery enthusiasts.
So is it really worth it if you are prone to those kind of feelings? Would it be simpler to use a standard dating site and work it that way. At worst one could be accused of cheating but without the implications and complications of being involved with something that could be seen as far more sinister.
Or would it just be a lot simpler if you didn't have any such feelings in the first place? Stayed at home and did something sensible instead.
Like pottery? I think all frustrated swingers are really avid pottery enthusiasts.
Comes down to 2 things really - Kids & Jobs.
Public knowledge of the fact we have a bloody amazingly, marvellous, incredibly, at times mind-blowing, fun time swinging would affect both.
Would love to be open about it, would save lying to kids and friends and family but society as it is, it ain't possible - too many people more concerned with what other people do for fun than more important things in life, at least I know i'm having a better time than them he-he. There are some people I would LOVE to tell, just to see their reaction, would be priceless I'm sure lol
As for cams & pics at parties, it's a matter of control, don't want our pics splashed about the net unless we know which ones they are and are discrete. And this then ties back into the fact that you can't always be open about being swingers.
But if you know in advance then yiu can make the choice.
jack x
Public knowledge of the fact we have a bloody amazingly, marvellous, incredibly, at times mind-blowing, fun time swinging would affect both.
Would love to be open about it, would save lying to kids and friends and family but society as it is, it ain't possible - too many people more concerned with what other people do for fun than more important things in life, at least I know i'm having a better time than them he-he. There are some people I would LOVE to tell, just to see their reaction, would be priceless I'm sure lol
As for cams & pics at parties, it's a matter of control, don't want our pics splashed about the net unless we know which ones they are and are discrete. And this then ties back into the fact that you can't always be open about being swingers.
But if you know in advance then yiu can make the choice.
jack x
Forum Virgin
I'm not open about swinging for one main reason I'm hoping to work in the public sector. Although I don't think I could be fired for swinging on the grounds of it being 'unprofessional' (not sure it is all that much and it would be an interesting case if someone sued for discrimination). I do think (or maybe that should be worry) if those that dictate if I go up a grade (touching wood he gets a job in the first place) knew I wouldn't get to be promoted as it were. The risks and perceived worry outweigh any of the possible benefits so its going to be unlikely for me to ever reveal myself as a swinger (to all but a handful of people) or for me to appear with my face on cam regularly.
A leading Scottish politican was allegedly at some swingers party/orgy (I don't remember the full deatils) and it was reported in the paper and he ended up loosing his job as a result (I think). Swinging is still not at all tolerated as well as it should be (especially by certain generations). I'm unaware of someone being fired for being a swinger but it wouldn't surprise me if it has happened somewhere in the world. (Something I think if it were to happen would be a disgrace). Yet maybe that's because those that are paranoid are right to be paranoid and so don't like to show their faces in what is quite a public website (more members than the population of all but a few of our major cities- UK).
If one person at a party/gathering doesn't want to show their face on cam then that should be accepted and if it can be avoided without turning the camera off then all's well but if not the camera should be turned off. (This coming from someone who is quite happy to admit he sometimes looks for cams to perve)
A leading Scottish politican was allegedly at some swingers party/orgy (I don't remember the full deatils) and it was reported in the paper and he ended up loosing his job as a result (I think). Swinging is still not at all tolerated as well as it should be (especially by certain generations). I'm unaware of someone being fired for being a swinger but it wouldn't surprise me if it has happened somewhere in the world. (Something I think if it were to happen would be a disgrace). Yet maybe that's because those that are paranoid are right to be paranoid and so don't like to show their faces in what is quite a public website (more members than the population of all but a few of our major cities- UK).
If one person at a party/gathering doesn't want to show their face on cam then that should be accepted and if it can be avoided without turning the camera off then all's well but if not the camera should be turned off. (This coming from someone who is quite happy to admit he sometimes looks for cams to perve)
Sex God
There was a case some time ago of a woman sacked from her job because of swinging - I believe she was a nurse.
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
There was a case some time ago of a woman sacked from her job because of swinging - I believe she was a nurse.
There have been several cases, and when i can be arsed i'll find the links, but as i remember them, there was a sgt in the army who's entire family was evicted just because they hosted a social in "married Pads"
around the same time there were 5 or 6 Prison Officers who were escorted to the gate never to return just because they had been recognised on a website.
It's fine for many, I've even read posts from ppl saying, oh I work at Morrisons in **** ******* :shock: but for some it could mean the end of a lifetime career.
do not judge a person until you have walked in thier shoes :thumbup:
as swinginging is not illegal...and i know as an employer myself...it is almost bloody impossible to sack anyone.. on what grounds anyone was dismisssed !!!
fact is you can not be dismissed for haveing a swinging a lifestyle..... they can make life difficult for you....so that you leave yourself......but FACT.. they can not dismiss you for being a swinger....
fact is you can not be dismissed for haveing a swinging a lifestyle..... they can make life difficult for you....so that you leave yourself......but FACT.. they can not dismiss you for being a swinger....
Sex God
Quote by deancannock
as swinginging is not illegal...and i know as an employer myself...it is almost bloody impossible to sack anyone.. on what grounds anyone was dismisssed !!!
fact is you can not be dismissed for haveing a swinging a lifestyle..... they can make life difficult for you....so that you leave yourself......but FACT.. they can not dismiss you for being a swinger....
and I am sure I have read on a thread recently that in some cases it is considered an activity that can leave you open to blackmail, and as such is seriously frowned on by some professions...
Quote by __random_orbit__
......but FACT.. they can not dismiss you for being a swinger....
I believe there are many "bringing the company into disrepute" clauses.
lp
and how does haveing sex with another person....which is a purely personal act, done in your own private time..bring any compnay into disrepute ?
The first person's head that appears above the parapet usually gets shot off. I think I'll wait until the enemy has run out of ammunition, but anyone who wants to be a martyr to the 'cause' feel free.
I don't understand the compulsion for people to tell everyone that they're swingers when other areas of their lives are not common knowledge. My swinging life is not impinged upon enough by secrecy for me to potentially alienate family, friends and colleagues by making it known. Potential benefits do not outweigh potential problems.
Swinging is something I do, it's not something that I want to convert people to, nor is it something that I want to have in-depth conversations about with people that are unlikely to easily understand my motivation. At the moment, the closet seems a sensible place to be.
I don't understand the compulsion for people to tell everyone that they're swingers when other areas of their lives are not common knowledge. My swinging life is not impinged upon enough by secrecy for me to potentially alienate family, friends and colleagues by making it known. Potential benefits do not outweigh potential problems.
Swinging is something I do, it's not something that I want to convert people to, nor is it something that I want to have in-depth conversations about with people that are unlikely to easily understand my motivation. At the moment, the closet seems a sensible place to be.
