Gosh I have missed so much...having been out of the country with a faulty laptop and too little time to find alternative means of communication I return to find that I still have much work to do re : some of the males on here!!!
Firstly I must ensure that next weekend I frequent the GFZ, knock back a drink or two, hog the sofa and maybe start to discipline a few of the guys on here who are obviously up for my challenge. I know I will have a number of sexy ladies to help me in my mission of dominating these souls!!
They are all getting excited now, I can feel it, but I am going to disappoint them, I intend to strip them, dress them in maids uniforms and get them to clean up the crap in the GFZ before the girlies and I settle down to "Sleepless in Seattle "and empty their fridge of their pissy lager and beer!
Have you noticed us girlies like a G&T...40% proof and more..the guys..large amounts of gas and only 5%..no wonder they are windbags!
But now to my serious bit. I am shortly to post my first ad (I will be in the country long enough to organise something for the first time in months). I noticed that there is a load of advice to single guys, "say this, not that" etc. So Who is gonna post me advice so that I get quality replies to my ad as a single female?
LadyWA
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Advice to Little LadyWA?
Is 9" better than 6" or is it quality over quantity?
quality
0%
neither..give me my rabbit!
0%
quantity
0%
8 votes
Lady WA - you'll do just fine!
Just say in your ad exactly what you're looking for and I don't think you'll have a problem. Somewhere FredFlintstone started a thread about writing an ad for his friend Lady Penelope - it was excellent and it worked. I suggest you have a look at that too.
All the best - I hope you find what you're looking for.
Sappho xxx
Just say in your ad exactly what you're looking for and I don't think you'll have a problem. Somewhere FredFlintstone started a thread about writing an ad for his friend Lady Penelope - it was excellent and it worked. I suggest you have a look at that too.
All the best - I hope you find what you're looking for.
Sappho xxx
You called darling Sappho? 
Oh - just the link!
Ok! :cry:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4614.html
*stumbles off muttering "these girlies only want me for one thing"*
Dream on about the GFZ LadyWA - Bring it on! :twisted:
Oh - can i clarify a point - is the measurement of the cock from the top or the arse?
Reminds me of a joke:
"Mum, What's a cock?"
It's the thing that dangles between a man's legs"
"I see - what's a c*nt?"
"It's the rest of him!"
Oh - just the link!
Ok! :cry:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4614.html
*stumbles off muttering "these girlies only want me for one thing"*
Dream on about the GFZ LadyWA - Bring it on! :twisted:
Oh - can i clarify a point - is the measurement of the cock from the top or the arse?
Reminds me of a joke:
"Mum, What's a cock?"
It's the thing that dangles between a man's legs"
"I see - what's a c*nt?"
"It's the rest of him!"
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:Sarge, I smiled sweetly to myself at your posting, typical repitition of an old joke that has run and run in the GFZ and life. 
So I decided, I will pop in, wearing only my basque and stockings and serve you lovely men your drinks....
LACED WITH BROMIDE...and watch you wilt!!!!
:P
As you run from the GFZ
searching for the lollipop sticks we girlies can settle down, empty your fridge and bask in another victory!
Sarge, as a Miltary man you must know that your plans can never survive the battle, as always in the battle of the sexes you men are doomed by fate to lose!
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Superior intellect will out!!! After all we have let you men pollute the planet long enough that your sperm counts are rapidly falling....you are mere pawns in our Grand Plan...we feed you hollow victories...lull you into a false sense of security then bang...you are all jaffas and we are having babies via DNA in- vitro fetilisation!!! Men become obsolete (pretty much are anyway eh girlies?) and the fairer sex rule the world!!
Bring it on Sarge.....by the way, love your Helmet!!!!!!!
Love LadyWA (I need a shag now...any nice guys about: :D )
So I decided, I will pop in, wearing only my basque and stockings and serve you lovely men your drinks....
LACED WITH BROMIDE...and watch you wilt!!!!
:P
As you run from the GFZ
searching for the lollipop sticks we girlies can settle down, empty your fridge and bask in another victory!Sarge, as a Miltary man you must know that your plans can never survive the battle, as always in the battle of the sexes you men are doomed by fate to lose!
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Superior intellect will out!!! After all we have let you men pollute the planet long enough that your sperm counts are rapidly falling....you are mere pawns in our Grand Plan...we feed you hollow victories...lull you into a false sense of security then bang...you are all jaffas and we are having babies via DNA in- vitro fetilisation!!! Men become obsolete (pretty much are anyway eh girlies?) and the fairer sex rule the world!!
Bring it on Sarge.....by the way, love your Helmet!!!!!!!
Love LadyWA (I need a shag now...any nice guys about
: :D ) 
Mod
Just a suggestion LadyWA
Any lady that posts in the ads section will find, no matter what they ask for, they will get hundreds of replies to wade through. Some of these you will just hit the delete button, others you will take the time to reply 'thanks, but no thanks'. You will then get the second tranche of those asking 'why?' which again you may hit the delete button or you may politely explain why. Out of all this you will get a handful of reasonable replies, and eventually your 'man of your dreams'. well, nearly .
However, the quality of the replies will be a lot higher if you posted your ad in the 'lets meet up' forum. This is because a lot of the guys who trawl the ads don't bother joining the main site and those that do are, on the whole, a better calibre of person - sometimes!! They are less likely to send you what you haven't asked for, more likely to fit your criteria and more likely to accept that they may not be the one for you. They also may have contributed to the site in some way and you already may have an inkling of what they are about.
It worked for me and I'm a bloke! (allegedly)
Good luck. I hope you get the guy(s) you want :lol:
Mal
Any lady that posts in the ads section will find, no matter what they ask for, they will get hundreds of replies to wade through. Some of these you will just hit the delete button, others you will take the time to reply 'thanks, but no thanks'. You will then get the second tranche of those asking 'why?' which again you may hit the delete button or you may politely explain why. Out of all this you will get a handful of reasonable replies, and eventually your 'man of your dreams'. well, nearly
.However, the quality of the replies will be a lot higher if you posted your ad in the 'lets meet up' forum. This is because a lot of the guys who trawl the ads don't bother joining the main site and those that do are, on the whole, a better calibre of person - sometimes!! They are less likely to send you what you haven't asked for, more likely to fit your criteria and more likely to accept that they may not be the one for you. They also may have contributed to the site in some way and you already may have an inkling of what they are about.
It worked for me and I'm a bloke! (allegedly)
Good luck. I hope you get the guy(s) you want :lol:
Mal
Thanks Mal...what a gent!
As to Sgt Bilko..well I watched him squirm his way through a number of threads on here today..posting his inane quips, I waited eagerly in anticipation for his retorts.... and 24 hours later he has still failed to reply!
Girls Victory is ours (as if it was ever in doubt) feel free to pull up a seat in the GFZ this weekend...the boys will be too busy chasing lollipop sticks from the bins in the parks!!!
Sarge, you disappoint me, I watched you post on various threads, yet you ran like a scolded chicken from LADYWA!!! Obviously the helmet wasn't up to the task! (And I told you it was such a nice helmet!)
Will this bring out the man in you? Or is victory so signed sealed and delivered? Your surrender will be accepted in the mirrored room at Versailles (by the way your paying...I am a lady after all!!)
Happy Valentines to you....cos I doubt you will emerge from your bunker till then!!! :lol:
LadyWA
As to Sgt Bilko..well I watched him squirm his way through a number of threads on here today..posting his inane quips,
I waited eagerly in anticipation for his retorts.... and 24 hours later he has still failed to reply!Girls Victory is ours (as if it was ever in doubt) feel free to pull up a seat in the GFZ this weekend...the boys will be too busy chasing lollipop sticks from the bins in the parks!!!
Sarge, you disappoint me, I watched you post on various threads, yet you ran like a scolded chicken from LADYWA!!! Obviously the helmet wasn't up to the task! (And I told you it was such a nice helmet!)
Will this bring out the man in you? Or is victory so signed sealed and delivered? Your surrender will be accepted in the mirrored room at Versailles (by the way your paying...I am a lady after all!!)
Happy Valentines to you....cos I doubt you will emerge from your bunker till then!!! :lol:
LadyWA
You big softie!
Don't talk too loud Sarge - you might frighten her....
Oh sorry LadyWa - do you want me to open that Yorkie for you? - I know you should not be allowed one really but it is OK if a man opens it for you..... :lol:
I'd have got the clippers out! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Fred
Don't talk too loud Sarge - you might frighten her....
Oh sorry LadyWa - do you want me to open that Yorkie for you? - I know you should not be allowed one really but it is OK if a man opens it for you.....
:lol: I'd have got the clippers out! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Fred
You will have to put the cardboard statue of me out sarge! - going away for a week - will have laptop with me but access will be restricted to email only - sorry - gonna have to sort this uppity wench out without me for a while. :roll: :roll:
SteveG will give you a hand - but don't ask Will - he is likely to change sides just as you think you are winning.
:x
Fred
:roll: :roll: SteveG will give you a hand - but don't ask Will - he is likely to change sides just as you think you are winning.
:x Fred
Sgt Bilko said:
:twisted: I goad, he falls, manipulate? Putty in my hands! :twisted:
You responded Sarge...once again your plans cannot survive the battle!
How easy this is, I feel that it is all too easy! Yawn!!! :kissmyarse:
Fred said:
Awww..Fred you say the nicest things! Thank you!
Are you now Fred?...RUNNING AWAY
more like!
Actually I'll have that Yorkie and you can help me, I'll shove it up your :censored: , but then I reckon you'll like that! Take it like a man!
Lots of love to you needy men!!
LadyWA
I really don’t want to give you the satisfaction of feeling you managed to manipulate me so easily
:twisted: I goad, he falls, manipulate? Putty in my hands! :twisted:
You responded Sarge...once again your plans cannot survive the battle!
How easy this is, I feel that it is all too easy! Yawn!!! :kissmyarse:
Fred said:
uppity wench
Awww..Fred you say the nicest things! Thank you!
going away for a week
Are you now Fred?...RUNNING AWAY
more like!Actually I'll have that Yorkie and you can help me, I'll shove it up your :censored: , but then I reckon you'll like that! Take it like a man!
Lots of love to you needy men!!
LadyWA
Greetings to the noble lady from one of her yeoman farmers
Good morning noble Lady
Greetings from this peasant
(The kind of simple country boy
You pay to pluck your pheasant).
I bow before your titled grace
And doff my battered cap,
Beg leave to pass some comment
On all your 'tough-girl' crap.
Oh, surely I should grovel
And recognise my betters
But has my Lady missed the fact
We proles have slipped our fetters?
If I may say: you've caused a stir
With 'men are useless' mumbling,
Your case is like your stately home
Full of holes and crumbling.
For one thing you have overlooked
(Well known to us insiders)
The GFZ is choc-a-bloc
With great big hairy spiders.
Your regal postings make me laugh
The way you strut and huff
I've known you posh birds all my life:
You likes a 'bit of rough'!
For while out shooting with we serfs
(And how the tongues have wagged!)
Several keepers testify
Her Ladyship got 'bagged'.
So please, my Lady, take good care
As you go riding by,
A fall could well be serious
Down from a horse THAT high.
But why not simply stop this act?
We country boys don't scare,
Behind your graces and your airs
There lingers , I'm aware
A gentle soul of sparkling wit
Who merely seeks to cheer...
So get your titled arse down here
And pour the boys a beer!!!
Good morning noble Lady
Greetings from this peasant
(The kind of simple country boy
You pay to pluck your pheasant).
I bow before your titled grace
And doff my battered cap,
Beg leave to pass some comment
On all your 'tough-girl' crap.
Oh, surely I should grovel
And recognise my betters
But has my Lady missed the fact
We proles have slipped our fetters?
If I may say: you've caused a stir
With 'men are useless' mumbling,
Your case is like your stately home
Full of holes and crumbling.
For one thing you have overlooked
(Well known to us insiders)
The GFZ is choc-a-bloc
With great big hairy spiders.
Your regal postings make me laugh
The way you strut and huff
I've known you posh birds all my life:
You likes a 'bit of rough'!
For while out shooting with we serfs
(And how the tongues have wagged!)
Several keepers testify
Her Ladyship got 'bagged'.
So please, my Lady, take good care
As you go riding by,
A fall could well be serious
Down from a horse THAT high.
But why not simply stop this act?
We country boys don't scare,
Behind your graces and your airs
There lingers , I'm aware
A gentle soul of sparkling wit
Who merely seeks to cheer...
So get your titled arse down here
And pour the boys a beer!!!
