Hi, well I really don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm a total newbee and so perhaps unsure of the rules, possibilities etc. Here goes.... I've posted a reasonably good profile, attached some pics, nude, facial, clothed and written a totally genuine ad. I've sent messages to like minded cpls or females that fill both mine and their criteria and had these messages read by the receipient. Now I realise that I may not be the best looking guy in the world and maybe not everyones cup of tea, but I just haven't had a single reply to either my messages or my ad's. Some one explained to me (this person was a member of another sex site) that the ratio of guys to girls was probably 10:1 and therefore women get a massive hit rate and more to chose from. To be honest I haven't checked out how many guys ads are on here (it seems a bit gay to look). Now I'm not desperate for female company nor am I desperate full stop. I'm in a relationship and my girlfriend is 15 years younger than me and a total babe, but I just need extra sex. Come on, we all know what I mean or you wouldn't be on here. So, if there is any one out there that can shed some light on my dilema it would be appreciated.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
All Guys and no Girls!
Sex God
Quote by Teddy123
To be honest I haven't checked out how many guys ads are on here (it seems a bit gay to look).
:shock: I'm not entirely sure what this means tbh :undecided:
TJ
Quote by Teddy123
To be honest I haven't checked out how many guys ads are on here (it seems a bit gay to look).
Yeh but fear not....You wouldnt be the only gay in the village.....
Seriously though....
There is a very high ration of men to women here so it is all about patience and how you conduct yourself...
Post a bit......Chat a bit................Generally be nice and things will start to look up in time..
couple of things i noticed, you say its a bit gay to look at guys profiles - why?
they can be a good guide to see how to, how not to, what works, what doesnt, plus, remember, these are the people whose profiles and messages you have to be better than, might not be an idea to be so dismissive
you say you have a girlfriend, does she know you are swinging? you say she is a total babe, if you have her on a pedestal, it may become obvious to potential swinging partners
there has been other discussions via the forums about the use of nude pictures within profiles, might be an idea to have a look around
ultimately, as you said, you are a newbie, dont try and run before you can walk, have a look around, take some time to look through forums, see what others opinions and thoughts are
i dont, for a second, profess to be an expert, i havent been here long myself, i have just gone from the toddler to walking stage, but its a good place to be, there are some damn fine people here, be patient, be respectful and courteous, and you will find all that out for yourself
they can be a good guide to see how to, how not to, what works, what doesnt, plus, remember, these are the people whose profiles and messages you have to be better than, might not be an idea to be so dismissive
you say you have a girlfriend, does she know you are swinging? you say she is a total babe, if you have her on a pedestal, it may become obvious to potential swinging partners
there has been other discussions via the forums about the use of nude pictures within profiles, might be an idea to have a look around
ultimately, as you said, you are a newbie, dont try and run before you can walk, have a look around, take some time to look through forums, see what others opinions and thoughts are
i dont, for a second, profess to be an expert, i havent been here long myself, i have just gone from the toddler to walking stage, but its a good place to be, there are some damn fine people here, be patient, be respectful and courteous, and you will find all that out for yourself
Sex God
This might help...........
Quote by Marcuso
Hi there everyone.
Most of you will know me as Marcuso from the chat room.
I'm getting used to seeing lots of posts on here from single guys who are moaning that they don't get a meet.
Without sounding big-headed or conceited, I'd like to offer them a bit of advice on how to improve their chances of becoming accepted onto the swinging scene.
I'm not saying this is the perfect or even the only way to become accepted, but I have found that it works for me.
I am a single male who is now established & been accepted by couples and singles. Here’s the best advice I can give to single males trying to get established in the swinging scene…….
1. Always be open & honest about what you are looking for. No-one likes making the effort to meet someone only to find out that they are looking for different things.
2. Never say you are gonna meet someone & then not turn up. People hate timewasters.
3. Meet people just for socials if that is all they are offering. If they are impressed with you then the sex will come naturally. As I said….this community isn’t just about sex, it’s about people just meeting up as friends too & having a relaxed meet with no pressure.
4. Be willing to go out of your way to meet people. Don’t forget……you are the one who is wanting to meet people who are already established on the swinging scene & therefore, they will not go out of their way to meet you as they already have a circle of friends who they know are genuine & easy going.
5. And probably most important DON’T EVER SEEM DESPERATE TO MEET PEOPLE. Don’t push someone to meet & if someone says no then that’s what they mean. A lot of people get put off by someone being overkeen & see it as a kind of stalking.
6. Have a look in the message boards & see what people have put into those. This will give you some sort of idea as to the kind of ad to post. And always post in every board that applies to you as this will give you more chance. (Don’t forget to keep checking them regularly too as a lot of people forget to check & miss out)
7. Try going to one of the various clubs that are available all over the country or go to an open party invitation or munch thats been posted. This will show people that you are genuine.
8. When filling in a section on your ad to what your looking for the more information you give about your self the more your profile will stand out more people will read it and take you more seriously as you have taken more time & effort over what your looking for .
Not a lot else that I can add really apart from BE PATIENT If you keep trying and are patient then it will happen eventually. Don’t be put off by a few negative replies. I must have had hundreds of negative replies before I got my first meet. But once I got my first meet I have found it a lot easier to meet people.
As I said, I'm not trying to come over as conceited or big-headed, but I have found that using my own advice I have made many new friends and have been to some really good parties and social meets.
I really hope this has helped.
Marcuso
PS.....Below are two links to different areas of the site. They give perspectives from a womans point of view and also from one of the mens. These are also worth reading!!!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/advice/single-men.html
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/13919.html
Sex God
Quote by Teddy123
I just haven't had a single reply to either my messages or my ad's.
It happens a lot; they may have an inbox full of pms from men like you.
To be honest I haven't checked out how many guys ads are on here (it seems a bit gay to look).
I find this comment worrying - why does it and what is wrong with being gay anyway? Bear in mind that you are on a swingers site.
Now I'm not desperate for female company nor am I desperate full stop. I'm in a relationship and my girlfriend is 15 years younger than me and a total babe, but I just need extra sex.
Have you asked your girlfriend if she would like extra sex? Does she know you are on here?
Come on, we all know what I mean or you wouldn't be on here.
Yes, we know what you mean - we are all looking for sex outside our normal relationships. Lots of us are doing it with our partners too.
So, if there is any one out there that can shed some light on my dilema it would be appreciated.
This is not a dilemma - it is impatience on your part.
My answers in red. Can I just add though - your profile says almost divorced, you say in one of your ads that you are due to be married in October this year, and the details on your profile are those of a male, without a partner. Maybe people have checked those out and found that you really do not fit their criteria.
Sex God
Quote by Steve_Mids
Maybe people have checked those out and found that you really do not fit their criteria.
But there are so many criteria he could fit into
This is true - some folks are easily pleased hmm?
Sex God
Quote by Steve_Mids
Maybe people have checked those out and found that you really do not fit their criteria.
But there are so many criteria he could fit into
That is soooo right, well, i wanted to fit into the criteria of helping him out in his last few months as 'a single' before he gets married, but then I wondered about this 20 year old gf..............and the divorce.......................
I can send him a kebab shot though!
Quote by mazandden
Maybe people have checked those out and found that you really do not fit their criteria.
But there are so many criteria he could fit into
That is soooo right, well, i wanted to fit into the criteria of helping him out in his last few months as 'a single' before he gets married, but then I wondered about this 20 year old gf..............and the divorce.......................
I can send him a kebab shot though!
so you have to be almost divorced, single, with a 20y.o. gf to get a kebab shot?
Sex God
Quote by essex34m
Maybe people have checked those out and found that you really do not fit their criteria.
But there are so many criteria he could fit into
That is soooo right, well, i wanted to fit into the criteria of helping him out in his last few months as 'a single' before he gets married, but then I wondered about this 20 year old gf..............and the divorce.......................
I can send him a kebab shot though!
so you have to be almost divorced, single, with a 20y.o. gf to get a kebab shot?
nah, you get one for free hun!!!!!
you have a pm xx
I think the moral of the story here is consistencey across everything you have on the site Teddy. Profile, ad's and posts in LMU people can afford to be very choosey when looking for a single male so they check these things very carefully when looking.
Good luck join in the fun and :welcome:
Good luck join in the fun and :welcome:
Sex God
Here's a kebab shot Essex
:giggle:
:giggle:
Sex God
Quote by sheddy
I think the moral of the story here is consistencey across everything you have on the site Teddy. Profile, ad's and posts in LMU people can afford to be very choosey when looking for a single male so they check these things very carefully when looking.
Good luck join in the fun and :welcome:
you are soooo nice today!
Is that cos you've spent all day looking at Kates pics?!
Quote by PoloLady
must... fight.... the... urge.... to .... type.....must..... be.... good.
:rotflmao:I know how you feel Polo - I was going through the same thing the other day!
You can stop yourself if you want to...... just not very entertaining for us! :giggle:
Quote by mazandden
so you have to be almost divorced, single, with a 20y.o. gf to get a kebab shot?
nah, you get one for free hun!!!!!
you have a pm xx
Over here!
Sex God
Quote by essex34m
you are just too good to me
I know, can I have a shag now then please? :twisted:
Quote by PoloLady
must... fight.... the... urge.... to .... type.....must..... be.... good.
don't worry i do it for you....
so you say you've got a total babe of a girlfriend who happens to be 15 years younger than you......but you need more sex.....well i know guys who are single and haven't had sex for ages.......so i think i'd rather give them my advice instead.
Quote by da69ve
must... fight.... the... urge.... to .... type.....must..... be.... good.
don't worry i do it for you....
so you say you've got a total babe of a girlfriend who happens to be 15 years younger than you......but you need more sex.....well i know guys who are single and haven't had sex for ages.......so i think i'd rather give them my advice instead.
That's not what I would have put :grin: :twisted:
Quote by PoloLady
must... fight.... the... urge.... to .... type.....must..... be.... good.
don't worry i do it for you....
so you say you've got a total babe of a girlfriend who happens to be 15 years younger than you......but you need more sex.....well i know guys who are single and haven't had sex for ages.......so i think i'd rather give them my advice instead.
That's not what I would have put :grin: :twisted:
so dont let others talk for you, lets hear it from the horses mouth
erm, of course im not saying you are a horse, i am er well im i er ooh look, theres a JCB coming to finish digging the hole for me
TeddyOK I'm going to try and be objective here (like Pololady, I'm resisting the urge).
As you mentioned, there are a lot more single guys than there are single fems/couples so you're already on an uphill struggle.
Now as females and couples can afford to be choosy, you need to think who you would appeal to.
You've stated you're not the best looking guy in the world, so you've ruled yourself out of that bit.
You're playing away. I know you thinkyou know "why we're all here", but I don't think you do.
A lot of people (not all) view swinging as something you do with your partner and therefore will not want to play with someone who's playing away.
A lot of people (not all) who swing have an ethos of being "open, honest & respectful". Again the inconsistencies in your ad will instantly rule you out for a lot of swingers.
Also your "Bit gay" comment suggests you could be slightly homophobic or a little narrow minded which (yes you've guessed it) may put people off.
Hope that helps.
