I am a happily married man, that is all for except an active erotic sex wife over the years has lost the desire. I have tried everything to make it more exciting, but with little effect.
Is it wrong for me to look elsewhere, I have always had a strong sexual urge and really can't go through the rest of my life with this important factor missing.
Ladies......Am I wrong in what I do. I do not wish to harm my wife, but she need never know.
Any help or advice gladly accepted.
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Am I Alone Married
Quote by stevedee
I am a happily married man, that is all for except an active erotic sex wife over the years has lost the desire. I have tried everything to make it more exciting, but with little effect.
Is it wrong for me to look elsewhere, I have always had a strong sexual urge and really can't go through the rest of my life with this important factor missing.
Ladies......Am I wrong in what I do. I do not wish to harm my wife, but she need never know.
Any help or advice gladly accepted.
The one expression I have always hated is " What she doesn't know won't hurt her." I totally appreciate and respect your honesty, it would have been so much easier for you to lie and just pretend to be single. However, let me give you my perspective. I have cheated on someone before and it was the single worst thing I have ever done. To this day I still don't forgive myself. I would never put someone else through that again just as I would never be responsible for someone else going through it. There is another expression that I know which I do like. " The truth will hurt for a while but a lie will hurt forever" So, while I can't answer your question of would it be wrong for YOU to look elsewhere I just wanted to throw my 2p into the ring.
Quote by Abilene
I am a happily married man, that is all for except an active erotic sex wife over the years has lost the desire. I have tried everything to make it more exciting, but with little effect.
Is it wrong for me to look elsewhere, I have always had a strong sexual urge and really can't go through the rest of my life with this important factor missing.
Ladies......Am I wrong in what I do. I do not wish to harm my wife, but she need never know.
Any help or advice gladly accepted.
The one expression I have always hated is " What she doesn't know won't hurt her." I totally appreciate and respect your honesty, it would have been so much easier for you to lie and just pretend to be single. However, let me give you my perspective. I have cheated on someone before and it was the single worst thing I have ever done. To this day I still don't forgive myself. I would never put someone else through that again just as I would never be responsible for someone else going through it. There is another expression that I know which I do like. " The truth will hurt for a while but a lie will hurt forever" So, while I can't answer your question of would it be wrong for YOU to look elsewhere I just wanted to throw my 2p into the ring.
wheres the honesty in "she need never know"?
Hi stevedee, this is the same debate that is happening on another thread........single(married guys) take a look. Theres a lot of mixed views on the subject. I did raise this question myself on the thread, from a womans point of view. Whether going with a single(married guy) was ok. Now ive come to the conclusion that its better left to the individual to decide . So good luck. Hope you find what you are looking for.
Quote by stevedee
I am a happily married man, that is all for except an active erotic sex wife over the years has lost the desire. I have tried everything to make it more exciting, but with little effect.
Is it wrong for me to look elsewhere, I have always had a strong sexual urge and really can't go through the rest of my life with this important factor missing.
Ladies......Am I wrong in what I do. I do not wish to harm my wife, but she need never know.
Any help or advice gladly accepted.
theres a very good thread going on already on this topic called " single (married ) men"... might i suggest you have a look at that.
to be honest my views have been slightly modified having been involved in that post and seeing some peoples views on the subject.... it was written by a couple who were wondering whether or not it was right to involve themselves with people in your position.
why not have a look and make some decisions that way.........
Quote by essex34m
I am a happily married man, that is all for except an active erotic sex wife over the years has lost the desire. I have tried everything to make it more exciting, but with little effect.
Is it wrong for me to look elsewhere, I have always had a strong sexual urge and really can't go through the rest of my life with this important factor missing.
Ladies......Am I wrong in what I do. I do not wish to harm my wife, but she need never know.
Any help or advice gladly accepted.
The one expression I have always hated is " What she doesn't know won't hurt her." I totally appreciate and respect your honesty, it would have been so much easier for you to lie and just pretend to be single. However, let me give you my perspective. I have cheated on someone before and it was the single worst thing I have ever done. To this day I still don't forgive myself. I would never put someone else through that again just as I would never be responsible for someone else going through it. There is another expression that I know which I do like. " The truth will hurt for a while but a lie will hurt forever" So, while I can't answer your question of would it be wrong for YOU to look elsewhere I just wanted to throw my 2p into the ring.
wheres the honesty in "she need never know"?
What I meant that by that you goof ball is his honesty on here ...as indicated by the rest of the sentence. ( I am in no way supporting his dishonesty with his wife ..as indicated by the rest of my feking post ) Don;t make me come and spank that cute security guard ass of yours!!!
Quote by louise_and_joe
Hi stevedee, this is the same debate that is happening on another thread........single(married guys) take a look. Theres a lot of mixed views on the subject. I did raise this question myself on the thread, from a womans point of view. Whether going with a single(married guy) was ok. Now ive come to the conclusion that its better left to the individual to decide . So good luck. Hope you find what you are looking for.
Same here....lots of different views.
(oh, and louise_and_joe) - just wanted to say that you got some serious avatar thing going on there
:blink: :eeek: :scared: Quote by Abilene
I am a happily married man, that is all for except an active erotic sex wife over the years has lost the desire. I have tried everything to make it more exciting, but with little effect.
Is it wrong for me to look elsewhere, I have always had a strong sexual urge and really can't go through the rest of my life with this important factor missing.
Ladies......Am I wrong in what I do. I do not wish to harm my wife, but she need never know.
Any help or advice gladly accepted.
The one expression I have always hated is " What she doesn't know won't hurt her." I totally appreciate and respect your honesty, it would have been so much easier for you to lie and just pretend to be single. However, let me give you my perspective. I have cheated on someone before and it was the single worst thing I have ever done. To this day I still don't forgive myself. I would never put someone else through that again just as I would never be responsible for someone else going through it. There is another expression that I know which I do like. " The truth will hurt for a while but a lie will hurt forever" So, while I can't answer your question of would it be wrong for YOU to look elsewhere I just wanted to throw my 2p into the ring.
wheres the honesty in "she need never know"?
What I meant that by that you goof ball is his honesty on here ...as indicated by the rest of the sentence. ( I am in no way supporting his dishonesty with his wife ..as indicated by the rest of my feking post ) Don;t make me come and spank that cute security guard ass of yours!!!
Does that job come with a uniform?
H.x
Sex God
Quote by Abilene
...............I just wanted to throw my 2p into the ring.
It's spelt Toupee over here, Abi :giggle:
Quote by H-x
I am a happily married man, that is all for except an active erotic sex wife over the years has lost the desire. I have tried everything to make it more exciting, but with little effect.
Is it wrong for me to look elsewhere, I have always had a strong sexual urge and really can't go through the rest of my life with this important factor missing.
Ladies......Am I wrong in what I do. I do not wish to harm my wife, but she need never know.
Any help or advice gladly accepted.
The one expression I have always hated is " What she doesn't know won't hurt her." I totally appreciate and respect your honesty, it would have been so much easier for you to lie and just pretend to be single. However, let me give you my perspective. I have cheated on someone before and it was the single worst thing I have ever done. To this day I still don't forgive myself. I would never put someone else through that again just as I would never be responsible for someone else going through it. There is another expression that I know which I do like. " The truth will hurt for a while but a lie will hurt forever" So, while I can't answer your question of would it be wrong for YOU to look elsewhere I just wanted to throw my 2p into the ring.
wheres the honesty in "she need never know"?
What I meant that by that you goof ball is his honesty on here ...as indicated by the rest of the sentence. ( I am in no way supporting his dishonesty with his wife ..as indicated by the rest of my feking post ) Don;t make me come and spank that cute security guard ass of yours!!!
Does that job come with a uniform?
H.x
are you sure that just isnt a way of ensuring that you get a sneaky peek of it? we all know you wanna
Well, the first thing I'd say is that we are not the right people to be asking for relationship advice. Swinging works for some people and not for others, and by asking us, you are asking a highly impartial group of people.
Having said that, think long and hard about how difficult it would be to live a secret life forever... how worried you would have to be about the possibility your wife happens to look through the list of pages youve been viewing, or smells perfume on your clothes, or finds a half full packet of condoms... or any one of a million other things.
I'm not going to spout morality at you, or imorrality for that matter, or give you the go ahead to shag around that I think you are asking for. What I'm going to suggest is simply that you should talk to your wife about this.
Women are often better than men at confronting and working out these emotional issues, and I'd give decent odds that if you are feeling the need for more spice in your sex life then so is she... maybe swinging would suit both of you, or maybe you have a very understanding loving wife who understands there is a difference between sex and love, and that you love her but want to have sex with other people. If she's violently against the idea, then you'll know exactly how much hurt to someone you love that you would be risking by going behind her back.
Having said that, think long and hard about how difficult it would be to live a secret life forever... how worried you would have to be about the possibility your wife happens to look through the list of pages youve been viewing, or smells perfume on your clothes, or finds a half full packet of condoms... or any one of a million other things.
I'm not going to spout morality at you, or imorrality for that matter, or give you the go ahead to shag around that I think you are asking for. What I'm going to suggest is simply that you should talk to your wife about this.
Women are often better than men at confronting and working out these emotional issues, and I'd give decent odds that if you are feeling the need for more spice in your sex life then so is she... maybe swinging would suit both of you, or maybe you have a very understanding loving wife who understands there is a difference between sex and love, and that you love her but want to have sex with other people. If she's violently against the idea, then you'll know exactly how much hurt to someone you love that you would be risking by going behind her back.
Hi Steve,
I was in exactly the same situation about 2 years ago, and read some of the comments on the forum then. A lot of people were saying it wasn't fair and hiding things will not help as they are always found out in the end.
I felt very trapped, I loved my wife, but really wanted to swing. I didn't want to be in a situation where I missed out on something that I really wanted to do and thought the only way to cope was to swing without her knowing.
I am not saying the situation is the same with you but, if you have to hide something from a partner who you have promised to be with for the rest of your life, where does it stop.
If its something that your wife would be horrified to know about then you have to ask yourself why you think it would be acceptable to hide it from her, just because she doesn't know doesn't mean its not wrong.
The general feeling I got from people here and what I have read was if I was unable to broach the subject with my wife, then is the relationship as strong as I thought and if raising the question could possibly cause a permanet rift what would happen if I swung and she found out, I realised I couldn't put my wife through that, if wouldn't be fair.
I never did secretly swing. I decided that if I really wanted to swing I would be open with my wife and talk to her about it, broaching the subject slowly and seeing how it went, explaining to her the problems and why I wanted to do it.
I have to say the fact the sex had gone from my relationship was a result of a deeper problem sadly and within a year we had got divorced.
Sorry to rant but the subject is quite close to my heart.
Licker
I was in exactly the same situation about 2 years ago, and read some of the comments on the forum then. A lot of people were saying it wasn't fair and hiding things will not help as they are always found out in the end.
I felt very trapped, I loved my wife, but really wanted to swing. I didn't want to be in a situation where I missed out on something that I really wanted to do and thought the only way to cope was to swing without her knowing.
I am not saying the situation is the same with you but, if you have to hide something from a partner who you have promised to be with for the rest of your life, where does it stop.
If its something that your wife would be horrified to know about then you have to ask yourself why you think it would be acceptable to hide it from her, just because she doesn't know doesn't mean its not wrong.
The general feeling I got from people here and what I have read was if I was unable to broach the subject with my wife, then is the relationship as strong as I thought and if raising the question could possibly cause a permanet rift what would happen if I swung and she found out, I realised I couldn't put my wife through that, if wouldn't be fair.
I never did secretly swing. I decided that if I really wanted to swing I would be open with my wife and talk to her about it, broaching the subject slowly and seeing how it went, explaining to her the problems and why I wanted to do it.
I have to say the fact the sex had gone from my relationship was a result of a deeper problem sadly and within a year we had got divorced.
Sorry to rant but the subject is quite close to my heart.
Licker
Quote by stevedee
I am a happily married man, that is all for except an active erotic sex wife over the years has lost the desire. I have tried everything to make it more exciting, but with little effect.
Is it wrong for me to look elsewhere, I have always had a strong sexual urge and really can't go through the rest of my life with this important factor missing.
Ladies......Am I wrong in what I do. I do not wish to harm my wife, but she need never know.
Any help or advice gladly accepted.
Quote by DeeCee
surely there is something strange in this insofar as that he can be honest with total strangers but not his wife.
That thought did cross my mind but sadly ( and I am sure we have all been guilty in some degree of this ) it is easier to care about the reaction of strangers than your loved ones.
Quote by Abilene
What I meant that by that you goof ball is his honesty on here ...as indicated by the rest of the sentence. ( I am in no way supporting his dishonesty with his wife ..as indicated by the rest of my feking post ) Don;t make me come and spank that cute security guard ass of yours!!!
if you give it, you gotta take it.....
Quote by essex34m
What I meant that by that you goof ball is his honesty on here ...as indicated by the rest of the sentence. ( I am in no way supporting his dishonesty with his wife ..as indicated by the rest of my feking post ) Don;t make me come and spank that cute security guard ass of yours!!!
if you give it, you gotta take it.....
** sneaks into room **
** wiggles ass in the air **
Show me what ya got Wide Boy
Quote by Abilene
What I meant that by that you goof ball is his honesty on here ...as indicated by the rest of the sentence. ( I am in no way supporting his dishonesty with his wife ..as indicated by the rest of my feking post ) Don;t make me come and spank that cute security guard ass of yours!!!
if you give it, you gotta take it.....
** sneaks into room **
** wiggles ass in the air **
Show me what ya got Wide Boy
you wouldnt need to sneak, you have an open invitation......
Quote by H-x
errrr? who's dee cat????
I don't know but it would appear his luck is in.
H.x
feck i think its me he's on about.... i think he's seen the last part of my signature....
oh double feck.... he's a fella and so am I..
it must be true what they say about "single" males innability to read.....
Quote by DeeCee
errrr? who's dee cat????
I don't know but it would appear his luck is in.
H.x
feck i think its me he's on about.... i think he's seen the last part of my signature....
oh double feck.... he's a fella and so am I..
it must be true what they say about "single" males innability to read.....
I think he may have you mixed up with another name I saw ... I do think there is a DeeCat around ... lol ... are you finally coming out of the closet but under a diff name?
Quote by Abilene
errrr? who's dee cat????
I don't know but it would appear his luck is in.
H.x
feck i think its me he's on about.... i think he's seen the last part of my signature....
oh double feck.... he's a fella and so am I..
it must be true what they say about "single" males innability to read.....
I think he may have you mixed up with another name I saw ... I do think there is a DeeCat around ... lol ... are you finally coming out of the closet but under a diff name?
finally?
:shock:
Quote by DeeCee
errrr? who's dee cat????
I don't know but it would appear his luck is in.
H.x
feck i think its me he's on about.... i think he's seen the last part of my signature....
oh double feck.... he's a fella and so am I..
it must be true what they say about "single" males innability to read.....
I think he may have you mixed up with another name I saw ... I do think there is a DeeCat around ... lol ... are you finally coming out of the closet but under a diff name?
finally?
:shock:
:giggle: Ok, ya got me ... must remember to close mouth and that way foot won't get in there.
Quote by Abilene
errrr? who's dee cat????
I don't know but it would appear his luck is in.
H.x
feck i think its me he's on about.... i think he's seen the last part of my signature....
oh double feck.... he's a fella and so am I..
it must be true what they say about "single" males innability to read.....
I think he may have you mixed up with another name I saw ... I do think there is a DeeCat around ... lol ... are you finally coming out of the closet but under a diff name?
finally?
:shock:
:giggle: Ok, ya got me ... must remember to close mouth and that way foot won't get in there.
still no PM yet..... he must have got me confused...
or is it me whose "confused"?
id better geet out of the closet and sit on the chest of drawers for now
Sex God
if he came out and asked wife to see what she thought ,and she not into sex now he might get a shock and she might let him swing alone or she might join him, hey ok you might think your being honest with the members here but theres lots doing it any way,a lot of adds saing single but cant accom that one makes me laugh 
Orgasminator
Quote by northeastcoupleuk
if he came out and asked wife to see what she thought ,and she not into sex now he might get a shock and she might let him swing alone or she might join him, hey ok you might think your being honest with the members here but theres lots doing it any way,a lot of adds saing single but cant accom that one makes me laugh
we got a single bed for ya,s you wanna use it lol
