... and this is what puts lots of women off...

Yes we know NOT ALL GUYS DO THIS, but despite our profile stating clearly what we do/don't want (including winks & one liners), our wink auto-responder was triggered yet again earlier and this is what followed:

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Auto:

Hi, Whilst I love the attention I prefer a real mail to a wink, please take a few minutes to make sure that you have read my profile and then why not drop me a personalised message if you think we are looking for the same things.

I'm after full sex,lick you pussy and fuck you

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Not so much as a hello!  What sort of person sends a message like this having ignored the reply they just received?  It's almost as if they live in a fantasy world in which boorish behaviour is in some way appealing.  Another name on the extensive block list...

What a tosser some people just don’t get it lost count of the ones we have deleted and or blocked

Quote by waylander12

What a tosser some people just don’t get it lost count of the ones we have deleted and or blocked

I'd love to know what these people do and whether they behave like this all the time or just save it for SH.

This sort of thing is a common a occurrence  for us too, Sometimes, you think to yourself, I might as well just keep our profile blank, because a lot of folk just do not read it.. a common thing on all the sites we are on..Folk see a pic and dive straight in without visiting a profile.. The ones that send a message directed at her..even though it's a couples account..and our profile states, she never comes on here, because she has no interest in the admin side of swinging anyway.. the pants do the thinking first I think 😃😃🤣

Hi All, I hope you are all well and enjoying the lovely weather.  Unfortunately, like in most other parts of society, we will always find all kinds of people, those with a bit of common sense (not that common these days) and some education, we will also find those that seem just to be rude. I guess that we will just continue to try and find the decent ones.

Quote by osemlover

Yes we know NOT ALL GUYS DO THIS, but despite our profile stating clearly what we do/don't want (including winks & one liners), our wink auto-responder was triggered yet again earlier and this is what followed:

=====================

Auto:

Hi, Whilst I love the attention I prefer a real mail to a wink, please take a few minutes to make sure that you have read my profile and then why not drop me a personalised message if you think we are looking for the same things.

To which we received this:

1 hour ago

Read

I'm after full sex,lick you pussy and fuck you

=====================

Not so much as a hello!  What sort of person sends a message like this having ignored the reply they just received?  It's almost as if they live in a fantasy world in which boorish behaviour is in some way appealing.  Another name on the extensive block list...

Agree with all the above comments. I (Mrs P) do the main posting etc on ours but the amount of time the comments are addressed to Mr P. I'm not his commodity, I have my own brain and make the decisions not him.

I expect to have a conversation, build up a rapport, I will not send invites to our private album just like that so why do they ask?

It's rude and disrespectful and reminds us that so many men see women in such a vulgar and degrading way.

Thanks to the OP for posting. Rant over x

Quote by MrandMrsBad

 Sometimes, you think to yourself, I might as well just keep our profile blank, because a lot of folk just do not read it.

Also, the wink responder is quite clear "Read my profile and send a proper message" - if you are going to reply to that, make it something worthwhile!

"Hi!"

"I've read it, want to fuck?"

"Good profile, nice tits"

"I have free account so can't message you"

Also, do any of you ever look at your sent messages and see how many of the autoresponses go out? Sometimes it will have 10 or 15 messages to one person - do they really think spamming the wink button is going to impress anyone?

What you mean....

I always go into a pub or such place, pull my one inch dick out and shout at the top of my voice.

WHAT BURD WANTS TO FUCK!

Works every time for me 🙄

We all know the stupidity of the guys on here but it’s almost like a self fulfilling prophecy, the “ get your coat, you’ve pulled” school of seduction they know they don’t stand a chance but are driven to make contact anyway and be rejected. This of course hardens ladies and couples to the hundreds of such comments they receive and I suspect that, very often, nice guys get lost as well before they have a chance to exercise their scintillating intellect and razor sharp wit. Anyone fancy a shag by the way.....asking for a friend😇

The thing is, they usually don't think they don't stand a chance because they haven't even read the profile. They don't know anything about the person they are messaging other than that they are a female/couple and approach everyone in the same generic way regardless of whether it's what they want - and that's just plain rude, arrogant and selfish. 

Some examples:

Sending messages asking to swap pics and offering cyber sex/sexting/"sexy phone chat" in spite of me saying clearly on my profile that I only want to talk to people with a view to actually meeting up.

Almost daily messages that just say "search me on [messenger app I don't use], here's my username" when I specifically say on my profile that I don't want those messages.

Guys getting shitty with me because I won't travel to: Birmingham, London, Leeds, Nottingham, Belfast (probably others too, I don't keep a list!) when I clearly say I will travel "within reason" - if it takes a whole day or more just to get there, that is not within reason!

Being offered things that anyone reading my profile would know I am not interested in (wining and dining, sensual massage, being treated "like a princess", blah, blah) - it's so obviously a copy/paste of "what women want" that is sent out to all female accounts.

Nice guys don't get lost if they send an intelligent, witty, meaningful message that shows they have read the profile and respect what is written. 

I have always said that a sense of humour and the ability to laugh at yourself,will get better results than a big willie or even bigger ego.

I met my mrs on here over six  years ago and i am defo punching waaaay above me.

So.. i must have done something right.

There's a wink auto-responder? Where do we find this please? 

Like you guys we have regular winks which are really annoying, and friend requests from people we've never chatted with. I do wonder though if people realise what a wink does, I was guilty of sending one recently to a friend thinking it was just going to be a ;-) thing, a sort of short "hiya" and I was horrified to see it had sent the "I'd like to know more" message. 

Before meeting Polly, I was a single guy on the scene for a few years, and met many ladies and couples, some of whom will be friends for life, just by chatting with humour, and being polite. I don't know why people don't get it - try that approach in a pub with a stranger and you'd get a smack in the mouth, so why should this be different. Same old issue I guess, people coming onto sites thinking if it's a swinging site it's going to be easy to get laid because clearly everyone's gagging for it with anyone who says "fancy a shag". 

Norfy 😎

Completely agree! A message that makes me laugh is much more likely to elicit a response than the 18th dick pic of the day.

At its very core, the guys sending these ill-thoughtout messages need to realise that at any meeting there is a period of time you are not actually having sex - be it travelling to/from a place, resting up between sessions or whatever - if it doesn't seem they have any sort of personality those moments are going to be really boring and pretty damned awkward!

Quote by Norfy_n_Polly

There's a wink auto-responder? Where do we find this please? 

Like you guys we have regular winks which are really annoying, and friend requests from people we've never chatted with. I do wonder though if people realise what a wink does, I was guilty of sending one recently to a friend thinking it was just going to be a ;-) thing, a sort of short "hiya" and I was horrified to see it had sent the "I'd like to know more" message. 

Before meeting Polly, I was a single guy on the scene for a few years, and met many ladies and couples, some of whom will be friends for life, just by chatting with humour, and being polite. I don't know why people don't get it - try that approach in a pub with a stranger and you'd get a smack in the mouth, so why should this be different. Same old issue I guess, people coming onto sites thinking if it's a swinging site it's going to be easy to get laid because clearly everyone's gagging for it with anyone who says "fancy a shag". 

Norfy 😎

Go to the mailbox and click the little cog at the top of the list of messages, click "Wink Settings" and scroll down the page to the autoresponder section.  

Thanks HothouseSub, found it 😎. Your help is appreciated!

I think you should regard “winks” as the spam email of the swinging community!!

It’s a scatter gun effect put enough out there & someone will give a tentative nibble back!! 

I don’t think we can lay the blame entirely at the feet of the single guys on here though they are the ones couples complain about..

Other couples are just as much to blame!! 

Though there messages might not be as direct they are still unsolicited when you look & you have  nothing whatsoever in common bar your genitalia & a pulse!!

Quote by sword_stileto

I think you should regard “winks” as the spam email of the swinging community!!

It’s a scatter gun effect put enough out there & someone will give a tentative nibble back!! 

I don’t think we can lay the blame entirely at the feet of the single guys on here though they are the ones couples complain about..

Other couples are just as much to blame!! 

Though there messages might not be as direct they are still unsolicited when you look & you have  nothing whatsoever in common bar your genitalia & a pulse!!

Quote by MrnMrspierced

Agree with all the above comments. I (Mrs P) do the main posting etc on ours but the amount of time the comments are addressed to Mr P. I'm not his commodity, I have my own brain and make the decisions not him.

I expect to have a conversation, build up a rapport, I will not send invites to our private album just like that so why do they ask?

It's rude and disrespectful and reminds us that so many men see women in such a vulgar and degrading way.

Thanks to the OP for posting. Rant over x

I genuinely hit the wink in error while reading a profile on my phone when I intended to hit the message button.  I sent a message immediately letting the couple know it was a genuine error and that I was intending to send them a message introducing myself and start a proper conversation.  

I received a message back the following day saying they did not appreciate the wink and that I should send a message to initiate a conversation.

Sometimes it is a mistake.

I have read a lot of comments on photos and posts that I think are in some cases unnecessary and in others just abhorrent. I see winks being in the same vein as this and don't think they should exist. It would be better if the option was removed to allow people to craft proper messages that read like a conversation and not a statement of intent.

It sounds as though you received the automated response which you can set up for winks - something like "whilst I/we appreciate the attention I/we'd prefer something more personal so please read our profile and consider sending a message". That message is sent out by the system and if they have it set up it means they won't even have known you'd sent the wink unless they look at their sent messages and see they sent you the autoresponder. 

Quote by DeadOnArrival

I genuinely hit the wink in error while reading a profile on my phone when I intended to hit the message button.  I sent a message immediately letting the couple know it was a genuine error and that I was intending to send them a message introducing myself and start a proper conversation.  

I received a message back the following day saying they did not appreciate the wink and that I should send a message to initiate a conversation.

Sometimes it is a mistake.

I have read a lot of comments on photos and posts that I think are in some cases unnecessary and in others just abhorrent. I see winks being in the same vein as this and don't think they should exist. It would be better if the option was removed to allow people to craft proper messages that read like a conversation and not a statement of intent.

Agree.  It was an auto-responder such which is the only way you can deal with winks since blocking them isn't possible.  Winks are a PITA for those of us who get loads of them despite our profiles clearly stating that we don't want them.  I think the 'business rationale' for them is that it's a basic means by which non-paying members can solicit a response from people they can't otherwise contact.  In reality they're far more used by guys who wink everything and everyone with a pulse in an attempt to get noticed and wind up putting loads of people off...

totally agree with all the previous comments winks are annoying did not realise they sent an automated message till now but i don't use them anyway how long duz it take to think of something to say and type it out ffs you are in the end more likely to get a positive response from a real message than something automated if only to say no thanks but thanks for the interest anyway people should  try it they might find a different outcome happens if they do

I completely agree that this is very annoying and it’s wrong and gives all guys a bad name however, I will be honest and say the amount of messages I have sent that are completely the opposite to this and still get no response whatsoever is also very annoying so, it does work both ways.

Sometimes I feel like not writing as much as I do because I know that only the very very very occasional person will actually yes I do appreciate that some people get a lot of messages…

Quote by want_fun_today

I completely agree that this is very annoying and it’s wrong and gives all guys a bad name however, I will be honest and say the amount of messages I have sent that are completely the opposite to this and still get no response whatsoever is also very annoying so, it does work both ways.

Sometimes I feel like not writing as much as I do because I know that only the very very very occasional person will actually yes I do appreciate that some people get a lot of messages…

Once you understand that you are one guy in a multitude of guys, all of whom have what you have, some less and some more, all looking for the same thing, then you may understand this place.

You need to stand out and make the couples/single females want to to get to know you, sending messages no matter how nice and well mannered, won't make them interested.

It takes time and patience and most of all as I have said before, the ability to laugh at oneself and not to take this site seriously, more like a laugh and if you happen to get lucky then excellent but as in life, nothing is guaranteed.

I mean I was on this site for the first 30 seconds and not one profile had got back to me, talk about "gutted" I threw the dummy out and demanded my money back, but then reason kicked in and I settled down and got on with it.

Once the pandemic has settled then get your self to socials and also chat in chat and get to know people then you will stand a better chance.

Yeah agree. Like it's impossible for them to treat you like a human being.. my wife hates that.. the same goes for starting a conversation with a in desired cock pick 🙄