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Are looks & age important?

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Are looks & age important?

I spend time during the summer on my local nudist beach and I can say that irrespective of personality women can look good naked from 17 to 70 and from the thinnest bodies to the plumpest. Clothes define a shape or age more than bare skin does. A desire for life in general and sex in particular means far more than looks though.
Quote by foxylady2209
Supplementary question: Do people who think they are gorgeous make less effort to please? And do people who believe their looks are less than perfect make more effort with their personality and conversation?

Interesting point foxylady.
I think the answer is yes to both of those questions. My job allows me to play with a lot of women/girls who would not be out of place on the cover of a men's mag. (including a couple of minor celebs who have been on the cover of men's mags!:shock: ) On here, I tend to go for the older person and as we all know, bodyshape can go a bit strange as we get older.
Yes it is nice to fuck a pretty young thing with the body of a young boy but sometimes it can be like a 'fantasy wank', especially if they look 'good' but have a fairly low sex drive. The idea that sex with models/celebs/page three girls is the ultimate cum, is sadly just not true.
But the best fuck (if there is such a thing) was with a woman with no legs, a scarred face and a brilliant attitude to life and her body!
At the end of the day it is down to chemistry. But don't exclude anyone.
You may be pleasantly surprised! smile
Lonni xxx
Quote by mdr2000
age and looks are importent. i cant abide silly young ladies and i like girls with plenty of meat on their bones.

Never seen a fat ugly and silly young one then? poke
just cos someone is chubby doesnt equate that they are "ugly" there are lots of pretty, large ladies around. lots of bland-faced generic skinny ladies to. give me a lady with a personality that shines through her face anyday-please! lol
some of us bland faced skinnies have personalities too ya know!
(just goes to show, what ever you say, you're gonna upset someone, the trick is to smile while you're talking and look inocent)
H.x
well i cant be the judge of that because cant see your face H-x. though if i had my way id feed you a few pies, lol soz im a cheeky git
can't eat pies - what with having a mouth full of unmelted butter.
H.x
you do have great taste in clothing though. i'll give you that. biggrin
Quote by lets_kiss
Ok I just wanna apologise to everyone. I wrote this post when i felt under a lot of pressure to play with people i didnt feel chemistry with. I dont know how many people ive upset. Heres the points I want to raise:
The post above he suggests that people who have this viewpoint are stupid so in an exasperated attempt to get at least one person who understood my viewpoint to the other forum i put up the link because you lot were all bashing the hell out of me.
The club mentioned this is my PR. I travel 2 hours by bus to that club twice a week. Its like a marathon but I do it because the club is so brilliant. Question would I go through all that if I thought the people I was going to meet were stupid? It makes no sense.
If you look at my profile you will see my PR too. And if you could see my email on this site you'd know im constantly trying to get people to meeet me at the club because its so brilliant there.
PR 3 I get booted out of chat for encouraging people to come to the club so much. 75% of my time on here & in chat is trying to get meets at club see my profile even has an advert. The club is brilliant.
If I think you are stupid then why was i still crying 3 hours after id found out id upset you all at the thought of losing my chance to be part of something so awesome & brilliant & losing friends. Yes people they are worth 3 hours of tears because the club is that darn awesome. get yourself down there...
If I thought you are stupid then why am I spending my own money bringing things to the club to make it nicer for you & to say thankyou to the people who run the club for making it all possible. I'm on income support and last week i couldnt even afford a locker key. Today I couldnt afford to top up my phone £5. Yet in the last 6 weeks I've given you as a thankyou & friendship gift 15 bars of soap, 5 shower gels, 90 ladies razors, breath freshener spray & 12x8=96 strange paper toothbrushy thingys from oral b. I love the club & I want you all to have a good time there & if me being there will spoil it for you then thats because IM the stupid one. I wouldnt give the little bit of money I had to people i thought were stupid. So i dont think that
Anyway the damage is done & I ran away because I felt bad & knew that if i go into the club itll spoil it for other people.
Im sorry everyoneyour all upset with me & I deserve it. Im going all weepy again now. Just wish I knew what was for the best to do.
I think people will exercise their own choice based on their own tastes, wants and needs and experience. We don't usually explain to other people why we make the choice unless it develops into a partnership, and then its more important.
I think most people find it a turn off to be presented with someone who provides too much (or unnecessary) detail; too soon, and who is perhaps trying far too hard in the circumstances.
I really do not jump in bed with anyone and everyone just because I swing. If that is wrong then so be it. I will say that there is more to a person than a body.
Quote by lets_kiss
It seems that when you are dating its reasonable to be fussy but as soon as you become a swinger it is frowned :boxing: upon to discriminate people by their age, weight, appearance etc.
so here you imply your experience of swingers is they will fuck anyone - what utter bollox!
I don’t think Scandal was calling you stupid - but your comment was stupid. I would be more inclined to think that derived from ignorance more than stupidity.
Quote by lets_kiss
It seems like more and more people are becoming overweight & this for me is a turn off. I'm sick of meeting people who dont discriminate & will have sex with all ages sizes

Well don’t meet them then - it is quite simple really.
It would appear you may want to be selective when it comes to size - yet you either complain about the people you do meet or the ones that don’t turn up. Are you doing something wrong with your selection process?
I am not even going to start on the use of the word ‘discriminate’ - other than suggesting you consider some people have a wider range of preferences. It may come as a surprise to you but some people actually don’t like thin people and only have sex with fuller figured people - thank god!
Quote by lets_kiss
and think I am not a nice person because I can't feel like they do. dunno

Why do you feel you have to try to feel like they do?
Don’t answer that - I think it becomes clearer in the next bit….
Quote by lets_kiss
I wrote this post when i felt under a lot of pressure to play with people i didnt feel chemistry with

Now that is just plain worrying. :shock:
With regards to the club….
If it is so brilliant - why don’t you just play with the people already at the club, instead of trying to get other people (who seem to constantly disappoint you) to meet you there?
You seem to have trouble distinguishing the right people for you to meet from the wrong ones.
At some point somewhere you asked about what you should do….
Considering these and a number of other comments you have made elsewhere - I would recommend having a good long think about why you want to swing and what you really want.
I see what letskiss means in some of her posts, i mean some people have had a go at me before for saying my preferneces(ages and size) but then when you dont say what u want , they say why dont you put what your looking for, I think some people can be a bit harsh on this forum but at the same time, i dont think anyone could who puts a reply to my post would make me that upset that I would cry(thats not a dig either)
at the end of the day we are all into different type/shapes/sizes and it would do if we all were the same!!!
and as for done to death threads, like some said b4 what has been done to death for the regular forum users aint been done for the new people so let them speakxxx
Quote by PoloLady
so here you imply your experience of swingers is they will fuck anyone - what utter bollox!
No I didnt mean that
I don’t think Scandal was calling you stupid - but your comment was stupid. I would be more inclined to think that derived from ignorance more than stupidity.
Scandal was saying that the idea is stupid I know he wasnt saying that. I know Im a bit of an ignoramus which is why I wrote the apology. And I do feel like ive been stupid
It seems like more and more people are becoming overweight & this for me is a turn off. I'm sick of meeting people who dont discriminate & will have sex with all ages sizes

Well don’t meet them then - it is quite simple really.
I go to clubs so if I dont want to meet that viewpoint should I stop going?
It would appear you may want to be selective when it comes to size - yet you either complain about the people you do meet or the ones that don’t turn up.
Its all about pressure. The single guys are very keen and Everywhere pressurise you to play. Also not to discriminate them by looks or age.
Are you doing something wrong with your selection process?
I am not even going to start on the use of the word ‘discriminate’ - other than suggesting you consider some people have a wider range of preferences. It may come as a surprise to you but some people actually don’t like thin people and only have sex with fuller figured people - thank god!
Yes I say live & let live so people shouldnt pressurise each other right?
Quote by lets_kiss
and think I am not a nice person because I can't feel like they do. dunno

Why do you feel you have to try to feel like they do?
Don’t answer that - I think it becomes clearer in the next bit….
Quote by lets_kiss
I wrote this post when i felt under a lot of pressure to play with people i didnt feel chemistry with

Now that is just plain worrying. :shock:
well goto a place with lots of single guys then you'll understand..maybe pop in the chatroom
With regards to the club….
If it is so brilliant - why don’t you just play with the people already at the club, instead of trying to get other people (who seem to constantly disappoint you) to meet you there?
I was trying to do that but im constantly being bombarded with requests to meet.
You seem to have trouble distinguishing the right people for you to meet from the wrong ones.
I know who I want & dont want
At some point somewhere you asked about what you should do….
Considering these and a number of other comments you have made elsewhere - I would recommend having a good long think about why you want to swing and what you really want.
I want to choose who I play with & not be hated for it or seen as shallow. I dont want to upset anyone. I hate upseting people & im sorry if I upset you too as well as all these other people
Quote by lets_kiss
It seems that when you are dating its reasonable to be fussy but as soon as you become a swinger it is frowned :boxing: upon to discriminate people by their age, weight, appearance etc.
It seems like more and more people are becoming overweight & this for me is a turn off. I'm sick of meeting people who dont discriminate & will have sex with all ages sizes and think I am not a nice person because I can't feel like they do. What are your experiences? dunno

I am fussy about who I bed. I have different standards to others, they may be different but that does not make them wrong. Others can do what they want as long as it does not harm others, that includes you! and me. If people are placing pressure on you they are causing you harm, they are at fault not you.
Swinging is like any other civilized from of sex, a act between consenting adults. If you feel someone is pressuring you to do what you do not want to do have nothing to do with them.
Yes sometimes a person asks you try something, they try to convince you to do it. At some point it mat become pressure at that point it is more them rather than you. Only you know when that point is. It is for you to say stop. If they do not, do not play with them. There is nothing wrong with that.
You always have choice.
Quote by lets_kiss
well goto a place with lots of single guys then you'll understand..maybe pop in the chatroom

I do and I regularly go to clubs on my own and the one thing I have never felt is pressurised. If i did ever feel pressurised I would know I was in the wrong place!
Quote by lets_kiss
I was trying to do that but im constantly being bombarded with requests to meet.

Again the answer is simple "No Thanks". If you feel incapable of saying that, it is once more plain worrying.
Quote by lets_kiss
I want to choose who I play with & not be hated for it or seen as shallow. I dont want to upset anyone.

Why do you think you will upset people if you turn them down?
Why are you so worried about what others think?
The only person that counts is you!
Quote by lets_kiss
I hate upseting people & im sorry if I upset you too as well as all these other people

Swinging requires a great deal of mental maturity - part of that maturity is understanding sometimes there are knock-backs - not everyone is everyones cup of tea. Another part of maturity is understanding that just because someone has a different point of veiw or disagrees with you - it does not mean they are upset or having a go - it means they are expressing their thoughts just as you have expressed yours.
with you all the way pololady!
....but you put it so much better.
Quote by lets_kiss
I'm sick of meeting people who dont discriminate & will have sex with all ages sizes

I am sorry to come back to this - but it is really bugging me....
Why does it bother you who someone else has sex with dunno
Why are you sick of meeting people who also fuck someone else who does not meet your criteria - you don't have to shag this other person/people, so why does it bother you?
Do you think it has some reflection of what your 'meet' thinks of you if they can go off and fuck an old fatty?
ok you misunderstood me. my viewpoint is that anyone can have sex with anyone & im an idiot for being fussy & Ive apologised for it. cant you just accept my apology I wrote that apolgy because I upset people & im trying to put it right dont get bugged by my problem. I want you and everyone else to feel better.
You were quoting the intital post I made I wrote an apology for what I wrote so why you still examining it when I apologised for saying it....I take it all back
your preferences are your own, nobody can tell you what you should find attractive.
to a certain degree we're all hard wired with an image of attractivness and this comes to the fore when you meet the female/male of your dreams, whether that image is physical or intellectual is by the by, its that little feeling that makes you think this is the right person?
we personally have no problems meeting anyone socially, we wouldnt dismiss anyone out of hand without at least meeting them first, the social side of swinging is as is important to us as the sexual side. (yes it does say no single males on our profile, but this is down to a bad experience and the fact that at this time we dont think its our thing)
But the whole point of swinging is to broaden horizons imho, if you meet people you like and find attractive in both intellectual and physical ways all the better, but if anyones looking for perfection, well who's perfect?
now that might have been the worlds most pointless post, but hey we're new lol
T&P xxxxxxxxx
Quote by lets_kiss
ok you misunderstood me. my viewpoint is that anyone can have sex with anyone & im an idiot for being fussy & Ive apologised for it. cant you just accept my apology I wrote that apolgy because I upset people & im trying to put it right dont get bugged by my problem. I want you and everyone else to feel better.
You were quoting the intital post I made I wrote an apology for what I wrote so why you still examining it when I apologised for saying it....I take it all back

Can you not accept I am not upset - I am asking you questions about your comments.
There is nothing wrong with being fussy and if others less fussy want to call a more selective criteria 'shallow' - then I am shallow and proud of it!
I actually don't see why you have apologised confused there may have been a need to clarify a few points and reword them - but the rest of it is about how you feel, your thoughts and opinions. Unless you blurt them out in an abusive and offencive way or they break the AUP - why should you apologise?
My quesions still stand.
OK just wanna apologise one more time. So here it is in as many different languages & greetings card too. :inlove:

estoy apesadumbrado redface
eu sou pesaroso
worship
je suis désolé :uhoh:
ik ben droevig :giveup:
ich bin traurig :doh:
sono spiacente :love:
Chiedo scusa :gagged:
Me disculpo


:embarrased2: Eu desculpo-me
:notes:
Ich entschuldige mich
:sticky: Je fais des excuses
:scared: :boo: Ik verontschuldig me
:arrow:
gelieve te vergeven me
:shock: veuillez me pardonner
:!:
verzeihen Sie mir bitte
coffee perdonilo prego
:bounce: perdoe-me por favor
:embarrased: perdóneme por favor :smitten:

Sorry I keep apologising but its just knocked me for 6 to realise I could be so horrible. Most women when they get like this have a boyfriend or husband who talks some sense into them . Anyway its getting so ridiculous now you should just laugh at me Im laughing at myself. Lifes stupid & we do stupid things but i am a blonde so i gotta keep drilling it in there because ive got a stupid big mouth. I just need a gag & my hands tying behind my back (so I cant type)
Im sorry i keep apologising. Just call me the apologising machine. I just cant stop till I know everyones ok. Ill be tossing & turning in my sleep biggrin
me luvs you all :rose:
oh & I forgot the self punishment smackbottom :shock:
Quote by freckledbird
rolleyes

erm sorry :twisted:
right for me!
Some people i like, some people i don't.
Some people i would shag and some people i wouldn't.
Some people are to old or to young for me to shag and some people ain't.
And some people i just couldn't shag because i don't like the look of them.
And i'm sure there is lots here that either don't like me or wouldn't shag me, i wouldn't hold it against them if they didn't like me and i hope they wouldn't hold it against me if they wasn't my cup of tea either.
Its one of the things that makes us unique, we can make our own minds up on what we like and don't
Hope this makes sense
Shaz x
I wouldnt want to shag any1 i didnt find attractive in *some* way. That dont mean they have to be a model or absolutly stunnin but they have to have "something".................. that means a nice personality I suppose as well as good looks.
I think swinging and dating values are different tho in some ways. the values in a person I would look for in a swinging partner are different than in some1 i was lookin to have a long term partnership with. Cant really define it tbh, i just know there different LOL
Quote by lets_kiss
erm sorry :twisted:

lets_kiss you seem to be a nice person, but you appear to be over sensitive to others comments. You do not have anything to say 'sorry' for. You are your own person, it is up to you who you have sex with, or do not. So lets_kiss and make up! If I met you and said sorry I do not want sex with you would that make me shallow, or up-set you? If not why should it up-set me if you say no thank you. We both have a right to say no!
I wish I could feel like that but i said I prefer slim & thats a hurtful, thoughtless thing to say.
BTW I saw your advert! Im sure I recognised the words & I hope its working xxxx :swingingchair:
Quote by lets_kiss
. . . . . but i am a blonde so i gotta keep drilling it in

Pictures.
We need pictures :twisted:
But if you're shy, you can send them HERE cool
Quote by lets_kiss
I wish I could feel like that but i said I prefer slim & thats a hurtful, thoughtless thing to say.

No it isn't.
It's an honest thing to say.
They are yourpreferences, and you should stick with them if you're happy with them; and NOTlet anyone come even closeto pressurising you into changing them. That's yourdecision.
I think you'll find most people prefer honesty. I know I do.
Quote by lets_kiss
OK just wanna apologise one more time. So here it is in as many different languages & greetings card too. :inlove:

Lets_Kiss the first thing I have to say is stop apologising, really. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for.
Reading your posts on here suggests a lack of self esteem and confidence. Have a little more faith in yourself.
If you say something others don't like, it doesn't make you a bad person it just means you have different points of view.
As for your original question, yes looks are inmportant to me - that doesn't mean I only want to swing with people who look like Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie it just means I have to find them attractive and have some kind of chemistry with them.
I know there are people who have the "every hole's a goal" approach and if that's what they want that's their choice and their business.
Personally there are 3 traits that turn me off completely - poor hygiene, bad manners and desperation. If anyone falls into any of those categories then I simply choose not to swing with them. My life my choice and I wouldn't feel the need to defend it or justify it.
Have the courage of you conviction and don't worry about what others do or think. :thumbup:
In edit:
If you don't like the unwelcome attention from single guys at the club you go to, have you considered going on a Couples & single fems only night? dunno