Unfortunately there is an element here who tend to take the piss, and unfortunately this element has a large percentage of single guys. That said, we have many friends here who are single, and find them to be very rewarding friends.
I have always felt bad for the difficulties the genuine guys have to face due to the disrespect of other single guys here. Perhaps the fault lies with us. I don`t believe these people are illiterate, they just don`t care, and as such making the ad`s more and more `anti-single guy` is unlikely to cut much ice with them, but could make others who do care (like yourself) feel rather left out in the cold.
We are a couple who would rather get to know the scene via couples first, but the capacity for friendship should extend to all.
Venusxxx
If you find any abusive ads then please use the 'report this ad' link on the bottom left of the ad and we shall look at it and take appropriate action. Of course, some single (?) men make themselves pests and seem to reply to any ad posted irrespective of whether they fit the wants or not so I can sometimes understand the frustrations of some advertisers. But, that doesn't justify abuse or rudeness.
:P
take a look at this pm i received from a single guy today and make your own judgements::
uve got an amazing arse fancy sharing
Need i say more?
It's not going to change!!
Get used to it. There are lots of single guy members of this site that use the site properly and people have gotten to know them and there are simply hundreds of guys surfing the net who accidently come across the site and think "Ooooooh, I'll reply to a few of those ads and see what happens".
They'll write a one or two line reponse to an ad that seems relevant to their circumstances and then just to cover all the bases they'll copy and paste the same response to every other ad they can find that may be remotely relevant. That includes the couple from Colchester that are only looking for another couple "because they only live five miles down the road and once they see how close I am and that I've got a 9" dick they might change their minds".
Then, just for good measure they'll place an ad of their own along the lines of "Smart clean intelligent guy with 9" cock up for anything. Any race, age, size, colour or sexual perversion considered. As long as you're not wearing a shroud I'm interested". Then just to cap it off they'll go into the Lets Meet Up forum and post the same thing in there but will add "Preferrably tonight but any time in the next three years will do."
The whole process will take them 20 minutes and then they're off to pester someone else.
Now consider how many guys do this every day of the week and then you can start to guess just why people get pissed off with it.
Steve
Dear Female Steotype:
You sound interesting and I'm just what you're looking for. Fancy a fuck? Get back to me if you're interested.
Regards,
Sexmaster
You timewasting bastard. You place an ad and I go to all the trouble of answering it and then you let me down. This site is full of wankers like you.
Sexmaster
Its not a personal attack , and youre obviously not illiterate or stupid . What you are though in many ways is typical . In your attempt at rationalising the whole situation , whilst demonstrating that you are litterate and intelligent you have of course revealed your true attitude towards swinging - and there lies the rub.
We all get the ridiculous short -rude - lazy replies from single fellas as well as the cut and paste ones 'insert name here' and often I expect that they come from the end of a long long fruitless search for some way in to the magical world of swinging . Thats just the point .......it isnt magical or secret or swathed in mystery . In our experience for every complete knob head that sends a message there are three who sound intelligent enough but they just dont get it.
Youve listed the reasons you believe many of these fellas dont get replies , and in doing so in such a clinical and efficient way youve shown exactly what the problem is . You wont catch any of these guys making a list of reasons why Frank the barman down the plough doesnt like him , or lists of fundamental rules for approaching a girl in a bar so she reacts in the proper way . As weve said before , although the people involved in swinging may have some different rules of engagement - fundamentally the standards of human contact remain the same . All that differs is the expectations of the men involved . Because they 'expect' a positive sexual response from women who swing they are dissapointed and frustrated , not to mention made impatient by the fact that no matter how accurately they have listed their likes dislikes and interests they still dont get a positive reaction .
Its not unknown for women and couples to Lord it over single men , having a superior attitude to them simply because they have a pussy in their side of the equation , in fact weve encountered couples whose attitude to single men was downright nasty , not because they really disliked them , but simply because it gave them a sense of power in their sad empty lives. Couples who behave that way are almost always universally disliked by not only single men , but also other reasonably well balanced couples in the scene . Its not because of how they swing , its because they are not nice people . Similarly there are some not very nice single men , and some dull ones , and some you know you just wouldnt have anything in common with . No matter how intelligent , articulate or hung you are , if your face doesnt fit then it doesnt - and as long as you dont 'expect' people to like you just because you can write a nice letter then you'll be on the same footing as everyone else in the entire world - swinger or not .
Peace G
No Jude , sorry i didnt quote (excuse my board ettiquette) its aimed as an answer to the original poster . I though that was ok answering the original question , thats assumed unless I quote from someoene else ?
I'm a bit baffled by your response tbh G, maybe I haven't expressed myself well.
I don't think that any relationship arises purely on the basis of ticking a set of boxes, yet many many ads are of the nature that Roger describes. My point was that many many advertisers describe a 'category' of person in a manner that borders on the hostile, when potential respondents, even single men, are people and don't come out of a box marked 'black, 9" cock, huge fan of My Little Pony' - or whatever. The rigidity, and hostility, isn't a cause of not getting any replies, it's just another contribution to the feeling that, even when positive responses do come, we're not wanted around.
What I wondered about was not the reasons for getting replies, or otherwise, but rather if the perception that many of us are stupid/desperate/illiterate arises from 'community' (I hate that term, but it'll do for now, prejudice, or the reality of the situation. Unfortunately it looks like the latter.
FWIW, I'm not new to this, but I've only been part of a group that was by invitation, so the issues of being spammed by the idiot contingent didn't arise.
yes alot of guys here are just after a jack n go but some of us are real u know! it can be difficult to weed them out but dont give up on the gen guys because theres so many tossers out there. please just give us a chance. its hard enough doing this scene as a single guy as it is without the predudice. been there done it bought the t shirt lol
every one just wants to have a bit of fun before we go so read the ad sort the fakes then reply if u get a tosser report them if u find a gen guy then tell people hes gen!
have fun any way
Personally, I actually don't mind the "ticking boxes" approach to a certain extent - as others have said, it's easy to understand and saves you the trouble of replying to somehow who's looking for someone else entirely. The third best ad I ever saw was nothing more than a long list of requirements. (I was doing okay until I got down to number #20.) But JonJon's right; the tone of so many ads is just wrong. They don't really tell you anything about the person behind the keyboard, so there's no feeling of connection, so no real motivation to put an effort into a reply. No real clues what to write either. I've very probably a vicious circle; the bad ads lead to bad replies lead to worse ads and worse replies...
There will always be some wankers out there (and they aren't all men either), but you have to wonder if the style of so many ads actually encourages them.
LAFFS
Well Foxy, at least he was right on one thing ;-)
Seriously do guys really send messages like that????
Surely they can't think that kind of a line is going to have any effect other than alienation!
Sean
):
) that all single guys get tarred with the same bad brush, it really is the minority of guys that spoil it for the rest. This is true throughout the scene, whether it be replying to ads, at clubs, whilst dogging, etc. With regard to replying to ads, I can't blame couples and single fems for being very strict on their criteria - they get so many replies that having strict criteria is one way of cutting down the amount fo emails that very quickly fall into their inboxes! Some guys disregard any criteria that are set and this becomes very annoying very quickly, so the next time they place an ad they become even more strict! 
i wonder if anyone else has thought of that 
) but didnt because im not bloody 30. im 40 and happy being 40, and would have qualified to reply to many more ads, requesting 30 or 35 limits.
On the plus side I've found that people who are looking for a single guy tend to appreciate it when they find a genuine one simply because there's so many tossers out there.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 