are single men lepers????

19 Feb 2005

i didn't mean for this to turn out as a whinge.... i think it was more meant as a generalisation and observation....rather than my personal situation...
my own personal situation is that i have taken time to get myself known and for people to get to know the real me... and i have had a blast along the way going to munches and parties and getting to know people that i like and making true friends along my path....
i know there is a different between the way i have gone about it and a lot of others.... and i am findind out i am more of an expection rather then the rule..... which is why single guys do have a "stigma" attached and why we try so hard to break it.. hopefully i have done that.....
it is because i saw another standpoint from someone else that is nowhere near as known as i appear toy be which is why i put it up for discussion......
for me the sad thing is that there are alot of people that i would truely love to meet... but i suppose that since they may well only going to events for couples and single fem i may never get to meet and them me

19 Feb 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
for me the sad thing is that there are alot of people that i would truely love to meet... but i suppose that since they may well only going to events for couples and single fem i may never get to meet and them me

Sorry Fab but I think you just answered your question....it seems you want to meet people who don't really want to meet single guys. dunno

19 Feb 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
i didn't mean for this to turn out as a whinge.... i think it was more meant as a generalisation and observation....rather than my personal situation...
my own personal situation is that i have taken time to get myself known and for people to get to know the real me... and i have had a blast along the way going to munches and parties and getting to know people that i like and making true friends along my path....
i know there is a different between the way i have gone about it and a lot of others.... and i am findind out i am more of an expection rather then the rule..... which is why single guys do have a "stigma" attached and why we try so hard to break it.. hopefully i have done that.....
it is because i saw another standpoint from someone else that is nowhere near as known as i appear toy be which is why i put it up for discussion......
for me the sad thing is that there are alot of people that i would truely love to meet... but i suppose that since they may well only going to events for couples and single fem i may never get to meet and them me

But if they don't want to meet single men, why don't you just accept it?

19 Feb 2005

Quote by kingarthur
i didn't mean for this to turn out as a whinge.... i think it was more meant as a generalisation and observation....rather than my personal situation...
my own personal situation is that i have taken time to get myself known and for people to get to know the real me... and i have had a blast along the way going to munches and parties and getting to know people that i like and making true friends along my path....
i know there is a different between the way i have gone about it and a lot of others.... and i am findind out i am more of an expection rather then the rule..... which is why single guys do have a "stigma" attached and why we try so hard to break it.. hopefully i have done that.....
it is because i saw another standpoint from someone else that is nowhere near as known as i appear toy be which is why i put it up for discussion......
for me the sad thing is that there are alot of people that i would truely love to meet... but i suppose that since they may well only going to events for couples and single fem i may never get to meet and them me

But if they don't want to meet single men, why don't you just accept it? well said minds cant be changed because ya dont agree with them .remember some day ya might meet a nice fem and if ya still in the scene ya might think along the same lines ya self ,stroll along time will tell

19 Feb 2005

Hi Fabio, great topice
as a single man new to the site I have been looking at the threads & I have come to the same thorts as otheres have,As a single it is up to you to get to now people, and put over your personality.I can relate to people saying that groups of men can lead to problams. It is as usual the minority spoiling it for the rest of I posted my Hi to the group people sead not to expect to run before you can walk, & I can see why.
Are we as singles leapers ? I dont have the experianse on the site to say eather way but look forward to the futer
all the best
Philg.

19 Feb 2005

Sean

I know where you're coming from here, cos am in the same situation really. As a straight single fem, I'm not wanted at these parties either.
They are geared up for people who are wanting to meet with either other couples or single bi fems - more of a 'contacts' party than a making friends one? I presume this is the case when there are restrictions on who attends? Correct me if I'm wrong tho biggrin

So kind of a good thing when they put the restriction to single bi fems, rather than single fems ... cos it's not then misleading me in anyway either.
Personally, I prefer the free for all munches, they suit me just fine. I can then meet all me mates for a good ol laugh ......... and maybe, just maybe come away having 'clicked' with a few and other arrangements can then be made cool

19 Feb 2005

Quote by blasian_cpl
for me the sad thing is that there are alot of people that i would truely love to meet... but i suppose that since they may well only going to events for couples and single fem i may never get to meet and them me

Sorry Fab but I think you just answered your question....it seems you want to meet people who don't really want to meet single guys. dunno

actually not quite what i meant.... can i add one more line to this...
i actaully meant meeting couples and single fem on a social level.... not for anything else....
i just feel that there a lot of people i would love to meet who i would never getthe chance to....

19 Feb 2005

Munchies are social events and there is no limit on single guys (I know you organise them)
Parties are usually sexual events
I dont see the problem

19 Feb 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
for me the sad thing is that there are alot of people that i would truely love to meet... but i suppose that since they may well only going to events for couples and single fem i may never get to meet and them me

Sorry Fab but I think you just answered your question....it seems you want to meet people who don't really want to meet single guys. dunno

actually not quite what i meant.... can i add one more line to this...
i actaully meant meeting couples and single fem on a social level.... not for anything else....
i just feel that there a lot of people i would love to meet who i would never getthe chance to....
I am a touch confused now! Most of the events that state couples and single fems only are not social meets - they are at parties or clubs where people are meeting for sex. Most social meets, certainly via this site do not exclude single men.
If they want to meet people on a social level then single men are not being excluded, the only events usually where single men are excluded are those where the primary aim is swinging in a sexual sense in one form or another.
I can't see why this is a problem if you are looking to meet people socially?
Roger the Dragon.

19 Feb 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
for me the sad thing is that there are alot of people that i would truely love to meet... but i suppose that since they may well only going to events for couples and single fem i may never get to meet and them me

Sorry Fab but I think you just answered your question....it seems you want to meet people who don't really want to meet single guys. dunno

actually not quite what i meant.... can i add one more line to this...
i actaully meant meeting couples and single fem on a social level.... not for anything else....
i just feel that there a lot of people i would love to meet who i would never getthe chance to....
Sorry Fab but we don't understand....from our experience socials/munches are open to all. Based on that observation....whats your real problem?

19 Feb 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
my own personal situation is that i have taken time to get myself known and for people to get to know the real me... and i have had a blast along the way going to munches and parties and getting to know people that i like and making true friends along my path....

Sean, you're very lucky to have come that far, I'm struggling at the beginning of that process, even after attending 10 munches and social meets. I'm not saying that people aren't friendly up to a point, but I've still not met up with anyone socially outside of those munches and meets. Not gonna get too philosophical, but I think you're luckier than quite a few others.
Mike.

19 Feb 2005

People have preferences. Some people's preference includes you, some people's doesn't. Most couples prefer to play with couples. Some couples prefer to play with single women. Very few couples prefer to play with single men. So what are you going to do? Badger them into feeling guilty so they shag you out of sympathy? I think not.
Listen, I'm straight. That means I don't want to shag men. It's not a choice, it's the way I was made. Doesn't mean I regard men as lepers, I just don't want to shag them, that's all. I also have preferences about who I socialise with. Again, it doesn't mean I have anything against people outside my preferred types, I just don't want to be with them.

19 Feb 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
People have preferences. Some people's preference includes you, some people's doesn't. Most couples prefer to play with couples. Some couples prefer to play with single women. Very few couples prefer to play with single men. So what are you going to do? Badger them into feeling guilty so they shag you out of sympathy? I think not.
Listen, I'm straight. That means I don't want to shag men. It's not a choice, it's the way I was made. Doesn't mean I regard men as lepers, I just don't want to shag them, that's all.

I agree with Ice here. I am a single bi fem. My preference is to play with couples only. Not single men, not single women. Surely I have a right to that preference? dunno

Disclaimer: that comment of course excludes Missy, but I am yet to convince her of that rolleyes

19 Feb 2005

i am going round in circles and am in my own way not making it clear.... it is a lot clearer in my head than it is writing it down... if you ever meet me at a munch or party then i will explain it better......
for time being... rather then this turning into an attack or a full blown row... can i mod lock this please....
sean xxxxxxxxxxx

19 Feb 2005

Quote by JudyTV
, but why you have to bring bisexuality into it is beyond me........it was about single men not about men shagging men.
Theres always one isn't there.
Judy

Judy - I think you are being harsh here. Ice was talking about "preference" - not having a go at bisexuals! Tut kiss

you got PMT sweetie? Want to join my football/rugby team smile

19 Feb 2005

I don't understand the red bits you've typed in the quotes? dunno

19 Feb 2005

Quote by hagrid
I don't understand the red bits you've typed in the quotes?

I dont understand HOW to get the red bit's into the quotes!

:rotflmao:
sorry,I'm being a prat again!
(Hagrid gets back in his box and shuts the lid)
You mean like that? wink

19 Feb 2005

Quote by hagrid
I don't understand the red bits you've typed in the quotes?

I dont understand HOW to get the red bit's into the quotes!

:rotflmao:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Oh Hagrid :rotflmao:

19 Feb 2005

Quick thread HiJack for a minit here

Quote by Sexysteph
Sean Honey Single straight fems have it hard too (if you will forgive the pun) You have seen it in the chatroom - How many times do you see a couple asking for a straight fem to come and join them?
Sure I can get the offers from the single guys in there but when You keep getting pmmed by couples asking if I am bi - I sometimes wonder why the hell not - they seem to be having all the fun! Before anyone says anything I have been developing quite a curiousity about women lately so I reckon its a watch this space on that score.
But are single guys lepers - I don't think so. Well not for me personally anyway.

hehh steph, for you its the lasses, for me the fellas, only mines been creepin up on me for 20 years and its only now that I am single that I can honestly start looking at it in depth, and realising just how scarey it can be trying to look inside at your sexuality and wondering if you have been so wrong for so long
/b] Thread HiJack completed, sorry Sean for the hijack, thanks for letting me run with it smile

19 Feb 2005

Quote by Rainbows
Disclaimer: that comment of course excludes Missy, but I am yet to convince her of that

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
I've just seen this!! Miss Bows, you're a bad bad woman - gorgeous, but bad bad :twisted: ........... edited out a whole paragraph of stuttering :lol2:

19 Feb 2005

i think single blokes can have alot of fun on this site...
wheres jiggles when u need him....
ok some partys might be couples only or couples and single ladys
so what do you do...you find a lady on here to go with you,,,job done
theres at least 2-3 events a month on here,let it be a munch or a party
you dont get a invite for one you go to another simple as
everyone got the right to say what they want at there party,its not a munch where everybody is invited...its in there house....there rules...
no offensive fabio but i forgot what party it was,,not that long ago,loads of ladys spanking that poor fella arse...and u was there...i bet loads of people thought that fabio a lucky git...........its swings and roundabouts really...

19 Feb 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
People have preferences. Some people's preference includes you, some people's doesn't. Most couples prefer to play with couples. Some couples prefer to play with single women. Very few couples prefer to play with single men. So what are you going to do? Badger them into feeling guilty so they shag you out of sympathy? I think not.
Listen, I'm straight. That means I don't want to shag men. It's not a choice, it's the way I was made. Doesn't mean I regard men as lepers, I just don't want to shag them, that's all. I also have preferences about who I socialise with. Again, it doesn't mean I have anything against people outside my preferred types, I just don't want to be with them.

well said !!!!!!!!!!!
i am going round in circles and am in my own way not making it clear.... it is a lot clearer in my head than it is writing it down... if you ever meet me at a munch or party then i will explain it better......
for time being... rather then this turning into an attack or a full blown row... can i mod lock this please....
why lock it every one has there own thoughts on this lets here them

19 Feb 2005

There's no row and no attack, Fabio. It's a discussion that obviously lots of people have thoughts about. Don't take this personal, because no-one is saying you're at fault.
My feelings on this, as a single guy is that, although a very interesting topic, by posting negativity, you attract more negativity. If other single guys look at this and only read the first few posts and don't know you, they will feel that it's not worth it for guys on here, which is far from the truth. Both Judy and Ice have made very good comments here regarding preferences, but others have also said if you're not invited, just move on. Why beat yourself up over those you can't meet? Just concentrate on those you can. You are wasting time, effort and energy on something that is inconsequential (good word, must write that down for later!). By concentrating on those you do meet and those you haven't met, but will, you will find a more positive attitude to the whole process.
Don't sweat the small stuff, Sean. We both know, as single guys, we DO get invites. Never worry about missed opportunities.
Mal
wink

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Lil_Bunny
On the other hand there are parties where u are welcome to attend - I replied to a pm from you and invited you along to a party and have had no response.
:Let me know please, places as u know for single guys are in short demand at times.

And still no asnwer to this or the pm u got from me days ago - now do u want an invite or not?
I'm sorry but there are plenty others just waiting to fill the space. I am hosting one more party so I need to know asap
Anyone one else wondering about my parties should know that I don't advertise them here and can't as I do charge an entry fee to help cover the cost of hiring a venue with great facilities.
and spaces are only for genuine, couples, single females and select single males who I know to be genuine, non-pushy and well mannered.
Your call Sean but if u aren't going to answer then please don't pm me asking for an invite!

20 Feb 2005

Quote by JudyTV
People have preferences. Some people's preference includes you, some people's doesn't. Most couples prefer to play with couples. Some couples prefer to play with single women. Very few couples prefer to play with single men. So what are you going to do? Badger them into feeling guilty so they shag you out of sympathy? I think not.
Listen, I'm straight. That means I don't want to shag men. It's not a choice, it's the way I was made. Doesn't mean I regard men as lepers, I just don't want to shag them, that's all. I also have preferences about who I socialise with. Again, it doesn't mean I have anything against people outside my preferred types, I just don't want to be with them.

Ain't that just the truth, but why you have to bring bisexuality into it is beyond me........it was about single men not about men shagging men.
Theres always one isn't there.
Judy
Ice there are quiet a few couples that swing with single men innocent

But finding someone that a couple are both happy with is not always easy dunno

We had this very conversation with another couple last night. In our case, I have to find the guy fuckable, Ian has to like the guy and we both have to be able to hold a conversation with them. We also choose to only swing with striaght men. That does not stop us socialising with anyone off this site, whatever their preferences are so I am unclear why Judy has brought that into the thread
Dawn :silly:

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
People have preferences. Some people's preference includes you, some people's doesn't. Most couples prefer to play with couples. Some couples prefer to play with single women. Very few couples prefer to play with single men. So what are you going to do? Badger them into feeling guilty so they shag you out of sympathy? I think not.
Listen, I'm straight. That means I don't want to shag men. It's not a choice, it's the way I was made. Doesn't mean I regard men as lepers, I just don't want to shag them, that's all. I also have preferences about who I socialise with. Again, it doesn't mean I have anything against people outside my preferred types, I just don't want to be with them.

Ain't that just the truth, but why you have to bring bisexuality into it is beyond me........it was about single men not about men shagging men.
Theres always one isn't there.
Judy
Ice there are quiet a few couples that swing with single men innocent

But finding someone that a couple are both happy with is not always easy dunno

We had this very conversation with another couple last night. In our case, I have to find the guy fuckable, Ian has to like the guy and we both have to be able to hold a conversation with them. We also choose to only swing with striaght men. That does not stop us socialising with anyone off this site, whatever their preferences are so I am unclear why Judy has brought that into the thread
Dawn :silly:
As a late-comer to this thread I'm doubly confused. Confused by Sean's argument and confused by Judy's irrelevant interjection. So, I'll just go and read another thread instead.
:P

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Ice there are quiet a few couples that swing with single men
But finding someone that a couple are both happy with is not always easy We had this very conversation with another couple last night. In our case, I have to find the guy fuckable, Ian has to like the guy and we both have to be able to hold a conversation with them. We also choose to only swing with striaght men. That does not stop us socialising with anyone off this site, whatever their preferences are so I am unclear why Judy has brought that into the thread
Dawn :silly:

And an interesting conversation it was too..... We, like Dawn and Ian, have difficulty in finding people that we both like, be it couples, single guys or even single fems....
As for socialising, thats a completely different thing.... It's only the personality that matters and not the other things that you consider when looking to swing with someone...
Shireen
xxx

20 Feb 2005

Fabio,
As single fem i certainly don't view single men as lepers esp nice ones like u! wink

However i do get the point that alot of couples prefer to swing with other couples - i would probably feel the same in that situation.
But as a single woman i get a lil bit of everything which suits me fine!

20 Feb 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Ice there are quiet a few couples that swing with single men

Yes. I was just acknowledging that most couples don't and trying to make the point that rather than take it as some kind of slur, we single men should just accept that it's personal preference. I made the analogy about me not wanting to play with men to illustrate the point that no amount of democratic idealism, or people feeling discriminated against, is going to change my preference, and I don't suppose that the couples who don't want to play with single men will be persuaded to change their preference either. At the end of the day it's a big pond with a lot of fish in it, and if the people with whom I'm compatible are in the minority, so what? There are still far more of them than I could possibly get to know in one lifetime, so why should I get upset about those who aren't interested in single guys? It's all good. biggrin