I have read the post, so I am a timewaster, cool, it is nice to know how others see me, we guess we should delete my SHREP for real meets and tell the thousands of people we have met in the swinging scene that they only dreamt meeting us.
I love it when someone who is so inexperienced in the scene by comparrison with me tells me not only my status in the scene but what I should do.
Being a timewaster to me is not just about failing to turn up for meets, timewasting also includes contacting people without reading thier profiles first to see if you are remotely compatible or worse reading and ignoring it, it takes time to read and reply to messages or winks etc.
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Are you a time waster?
I'm using a very loose definition of "sense"!! ;-)Quote by MidsCouple24
Being a timewaster to me is not just about failing to turn up for meets, timewasting also includes contacting people without reading thier profiles first to see if you are remotely compatible or worse reading and ignoring it, it takes time to read and reply to messages or winks etc.
THIS!!!
More often than not, when people approach me in the chatroom with the usual "hi how are you" mundaneness, I ask if they can read the profile please, to avoid wasting their time. What i really mean, of course is "read the fucking profile first, dickhead and then you won't waste MY time".
You can be as upfront and honest as you like, but they still waste your time but totally disregarding everything and pushing for more. I blame the people who lie on their profiles as clearly they have given in at some point and gone against their original intentions. If they're willing to do that, then people think you are too.
Sex God
Quote by Marya_Northeast
Being a timewaster to me is not just about failing to turn up for meets, timewasting also includes contacting people without reading thier profiles first to see if you are remotely compatible or worse reading and ignoring it, it takes time to read and reply to messages or winks etc.
THIS!!!
More often than not, when people approach me in the chatroom with the usual "hi how are you" mundaneness, I ask if they can read the profile please, to avoid wasting their time. What i really mean, of course is "read the fucking profile first, dickhead and then you won't waste MY time".
You can be as upfront and honest as you like, but they still waste your time but totally disregarding everything and pushing for more. I blame the people who lie on their profiles as clearly they have given in at some point and gone against their original intentions. If they're willing to do that, then people think you are too.
1000% agree with both these posts. Our time is wasted more often than not with people that cant be arsed to read profiles, or worse, they read it and then the first thing they say to you is along the lines of 'Hi, I know I'm not what you are looking for but.......'
Why waste my time then!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote by Sarah
If you're reading this post you're probably either a time waster or aspiring to become one. Welcome; you've come to the right post!
To ensure your time is best wasted I thought it best to post my '6 golden rules of timewasting', just to give you a flavour of what members expect/do not expect of you:
1. This is a swingers site; if you're not sure what it means it probably isn't for you.
2. Read the adverts; grnuine members pretty much respond to all emails but please afford the courtesy of checking what someone is looking for first.
3. Happy to chat before meeting, and sometimes chatting is all that will happen. But at least be seeking meets if you're going to contact someone.
4. If a meet is arranged genuine members show up as arranged. It's not unreasonable to expect the same of you.
5. Face photograph and contact number to be exchanged prior to meeting. And
6. If this sounds like too much effort, please see 1. above
How do I spot others of my own kind you may ask? Well i'm glad you did! The site has a feedback system called 'Shrep'. Have a look at the profiles, if it's activated it's at the top. See it? No...? There you go; a fellow timewaster! You deserve each other.
Helpful? I hope so. And it applies to everyone on here, not just me, so please bear in mind before wasting anyone's time other than your own....
x
I read a lot of the forums, but that does not make me a time waster.
Some time I respond to threads, other times I just read and move on.
Another thought to me is 'how to win friends...............' if I was considering repsonding to an advert of yours, and read this post I would consdier twice before doing so.
darn it...ive spent so much time on facebook, i keep looking for the 'LIKE' button to click on the posts I like
Sex God
Quote by Andy_Jules
Treuaunance, your own profile is misleading or at least in my opinion it is. You state you want a SWM under 25, they can be bi curious or bi or even a TV/TS/CD and yet the male part of your profile appears straight? Why would you be looking for a bi male? and it doesn't matter what your answer is but more that your profile in it's current format demonstrates perfectly why they are so open to interpretation
Ok, firstly, if you wish to quote our profile please do it properly:
'We want to meet single white males under 25 for one-to-one with Mrs T or threesome fun.'
Where in that does it say anything about two men together? or are you suggesting that as soon as two straight men have a threesome with a woman they are instantly gay?
Now ask yourself some serious questions:
Do bi curious men shag women?
Do bi men shag women?
Do people who are TV TS or CD shag women?
The simple fact is that anyone from these groups might choose to arrange a meet with Mrs T. It doesn't matter about Trev being straight because we are looking for people to sleep with Mrs T. And if we have a threesome, then so be it, but that doesn't mean an open invitation for cock docking does it?
If you take time to check the search facility you will notice that you get different results depending on what you put in as a preference. We would not appear on many searches if we didn't include people who identify themselves as such.
So, in summary, you think our profile is open to interpretation because we are only looking for single white males under 25 to shag a woman????
Sex God
But on a similar not your profile states 'We prefer playing with couples/single female/males 30 to mid 50's'
Prefer? so you'll play with someone who isn't in that bracket then? Maybe you ought to study your own possible profile interpretations rather than ours.
It also says 'Jules mid 30's, size 14, & bi, Andy early 40' Well I can accept interpretation of mid 30's as 37, but there is no way that 45, the very middle of the 40's, can be accepted as early 40! Sorry, but your own profile really needs looking at before you descend to the level of telling other people what they should and should not write about themselves.
You haven't answered my questions by the way;
Do bi curious men shag women?
Do bi men shag women?
Do people who are TV TS or CD shag women?
You also seem to think that we accept every and any response from single white males under 25 without chatting to them first and ensuring we are all getting what we want. That may be your way, but we prefer to chat first before disclosing any personal information. So the situation you so succinctly describe would not occur as we would have set boundaries before a meet, not during.
Our profile is 100% correct and true to life with the exception of our names. If other people choose to lie about their sexual orientation or any other aspect of their profile that is their problem not ours.
Please don't misunderstand us, we are happy to change our profile if we feel the need to, but as far as we can see there is no need. Afterall the people that waste our time are in there forties, fifties or beyond and are therefore nowhere near our profile, regardless of their orientation, and not the single white males under 25 that we advertise for.
Prefer? so you'll play with someone who isn't in that bracket then? Maybe you ought to study your own possible profile interpretations rather than ours.
It also says 'Jules mid 30's, size 14, & bi, Andy early 40' Well I can accept interpretation of mid 30's as 37, but there is no way that 45, the very middle of the 40's, can be accepted as early 40! Sorry, but your own profile really needs looking at before you descend to the level of telling other people what they should and should not write about themselves.
You haven't answered my questions by the way;
Do bi curious men shag women?
Do bi men shag women?
Do people who are TV TS or CD shag women?
You also seem to think that we accept every and any response from single white males under 25 without chatting to them first and ensuring we are all getting what we want. That may be your way, but we prefer to chat first before disclosing any personal information. So the situation you so succinctly describe would not occur as we would have set boundaries before a meet, not during.
Our profile is 100% correct and true to life with the exception of our names. If other people choose to lie about their sexual orientation or any other aspect of their profile that is their problem not ours.
Please don't misunderstand us, we are happy to change our profile if we feel the need to, but as far as we can see there is no need. Afterall the people that waste our time are in there forties, fifties or beyond and are therefore nowhere near our profile, regardless of their orientation, and not the single white males under 25 that we advertise for.
Sex God
Bloody hell am i in the right forum
think i`ll retreat to the CA forum its safer
:rotflmao::rotflmao:
think i`ll retreat to the CA forum its safer
:rotflmao::rotflmao: Sex God
Quote by Inanna
Your current profile open to interpretation? Absolutely!
You're good at this Jules! You should start an "is your profile clear?" checking service...! :-) I'd love to know what you think of ours...??
yep checked ya profile 98 or 99 times Inanna i think it would be better if we all meet naked to discus the problem areas
Quote by Andy_Jules
Being a timewaster to me is not just about failing to turn up for meets, timewasting also includes contacting people without reading thier profiles first to see if you are remotely compatible or worse reading and ignoring it, it takes time to read and reply to messages or winks etc.
THIS!!!
More often than not, when people approach me in the chatroom with the usual "hi how are you" mundaneness, I ask if they can read the profile please, to avoid wasting their time. What i really mean, of course is "read the fucking profile first, dickhead and then you won't waste MY time".
You can be as upfront and honest as you like, but they still waste your time but totally disregarding everything and pushing for more. I blame the people who lie on their profiles as clearly they have given in at some point and gone against their original intentions. If they're willing to do that, then people think you are too.
1000% agree with both these posts. Our time is wasted more often than not with people that cant be arsed to read profiles, or worse, they read it and then the first thing they say to you is along the lines of 'Hi, I know I'm not what you are looking for but.......'
Why waste my time then!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
Oh look, the time wasting evangelists are out in force
Maybe buck the trend here, yes it's sometimes irritating when I'm asked something that the answer can be found on my profile and ok it happens umpteen times when in chat as in i'll get a whisper from somebody that quite obviously hasn't taken the time to read our profile or more annoying still quotes from the profile such as trevaunance comment above Hi, I know I'm not what you are looking for but
but ya know, so what? Is it really that big of a crime?
The only one using the word crime is you, we are simply stating how we feel, after all that is what forums are for, people should be able to state such things in a forum without being insulted (time wasting evangelists) some people will learn by reading other peoples views, some will not and stay firm with thier own beliefs that is thier choice as is what they put in thier profiles, ours is set in stone and it states that on it, because we believe in being upfront and honest in what we say, you do it your way but please don't call us by derogatory names just because our view differs with yours.
I personally do not use the chatrooms, if I did I would not expect people to read my profile before speaking to me, they are after all chatrooms, however my view does differ when people are contacting me by other means such as winks or mails.
Do you treat what you consider a timewaster the same each time or do you replies become more agitated as time goes on? Have you grown less patient? are your responses become less 'helpful' as the evening wears on?
Yes I do tire of the same old same old, but my response is always the same I answer all mails/winks and answer them all politely though I do point out (politely) that "this" is as stated in my profile.
I don't agree that what is on your profile should be seen as set in stone, it's a guide and ideally it's what you would like, but things are not always ideal in swinging.
That is your perogative to disagree, each person on here has the right to do what they want within the site rules, to us swinging is fun, and for it to be fun the criteria we have is important so for us the criteria we have is set in stone and we equally respect everyone else and whatever the criteria is that they have.
I know what I/we want but sometimes a situation/person comes along that is nothing of what we seek but I/We think 'hmmm i wonder'
And that is good for you but not for us.
Also we each have our own perception as to what we think someone is after or what they're about, I've read some profiles where I've thought' yuk, you're not for us' but when I've happened to speak with them in chat it's an altogether different story.
Treuaunance, your own profile is misleading or at least in my opinion it is.
You state you want a SWM under 25, they can be bi curious or bi or even a TV/TS/CD and yet the male part of your profile appears straight? Why would you be looking for a bi male? and it doesn't matter what your answer is but more that your profile in it's current format demonstrates perfectly why they are so open to interpretation
Personally I would read this as a possibility that the male partner is straight but the female partner enjoys seeing men play together at times, therefore if they feel like it occasionally they might want to meet 2 bi men so that she can watch them together and he might not even be in the room at that time or not mind it taking place in front of him but not be inclined to take part in that aspect of the play I ave met couples who enjoy this scenario and indeed my last partner loved to watch men playing with each other, when this took place I preferred not to be in the room but enjoyed knowing my partner was getting the pleasurable experience she enjoyed
Have we not all at some point been guilty of timewasting? Just a smidgen? you think? I reckon I have but i prefer to refer to it as 'exploring my/our options'
What a boring life we would lead if everything had to be from a preset menu with no room for manoeuvre.
Perhaps in most aspects of our life but for us swinging has to be taken very seriously, that doesn't mean we cannot have a laugh it means we are pretty exact in what we are looking for and pretty exact in making that clear upfront so as not to mislead anyone or waste thier time, we take it very seriously who we are going to invite to our home and who we are going to have sex with, nobody else has to, each to thier own.
We certainly won't call anyone derogatory names simply because they do things differently to us and believe different things to us. we won't insult them because they share thier views and opinions in an open forum.
j
Quote by MidsCouple24
I personally do not use the chatrooms, if I did I would not expect people to read my profile before speaking to me, they are after all chatrooms, however my view does differ when people are contacting me by other means such as winks or mails.
I agree with this. I do use the chatrooms (far too much in my wife's opinion!!), and I ALWAYS get whispers or (from those brave enough) questions/comments in the main room, saying things like "do you meet men?", "do you meet bi men?", or "shame I'm not a woman" (assuming because my chat icon is two pink figures, I must only be interested in women). I don't really mind though. I'm there to chat, not to arrange meets, and I don't mind answering questions. What is interesting is that, more often than not, when someone asks a question like that in the main room, at least one other person will tell them off for not reading our profile. So, I know it's something that bothers other people - even when it is not a question to them!
I rarely look at profiles when I'm in the chatroom - but that's because I'm there to chat and will happily chat with anyone I find funny/interesting. I'll flirt and banter, but since I'm not there to arrange meets, what someone says on their profile is irrelevant in that context.
When someone contacts us by PM and we think we may be interested, we do check out their profile. It's the first thing we do before deciding whether/how to reply. And, if the PM is crap, or the person has clearly not read our profile, we tend not to bother. But that's only because it comes across as a generic PM and if someone is genuinely interested, rather than putting out a load of lines to see what bites, they'll take their time to write a decent PM.
Having said that, I don't consider it time wasting if someone PM's without having read our profile. It doesn't exactly take long for us to decide not to reply, or to hit the delete button!
Lilith xx
Quote by Inanna
I personally do not use the chatrooms, if I did I would not expect people to read my profile before speaking to me, they are after all chatrooms, however my view does differ when people are contacting me by other means such as winks or mails.
I agree with this. I do use the chatrooms (far too much in my wife's opinion!!), and I ALWAYS get whispers or (from those brave enough) questions/comments in the main room, saying things like "do you meet men?", "do you meet bi men?", or "shame I'm not a woman" (assuming because my chat icon is two pink figures, I must only be interested in women). I don't really mind though. I'm there to chat, not to arrange meets, and I don't mind answering questions. What is interesting is that, more often than not, when someone asks a question like that in the main room, at least one other person will tell them off for not reading our profile. So, I know it's something that bothers other people - even when it is not a question to them!
I rarely look at profiles when I'm in the chatroom - but that's because I'm there to chat and will happily chat with anyone I find funny/interesting. I'll flirt and banter, but since I'm not there to arrange meets, what someone says on their profile is irrelevant in that context.
When someone contacts us by PM and we think we may be interested, we do check out their profile. It's the first thing we do before deciding whether/how to reply. And, if the PM is crap, or the person has clearly not read our profile, we tend not to bother. But that's only because it comes across as a generic PM and if someone is genuinely interested, rather than putting out a load of lines to see what bites, they'll take their time to write a decent PM.
Having said that, I don't consider it time wasting if someone PM's without having read our profile. It doesn't exactly take long for us to decide not to reply, or to hit the delete button!
Lilith
To add to this and my earlier statement about not using the chatrooms, Sasha does use them, she too will chat to anyone in the main room, in whispers she will chat to people but checks thier profile first, she will not whisper with married men who use single male profiles or those who have thier marital status blank or with someone if they have a single profile, she doesn't mind chatting to them in the main room but sees private messaging as exactly that, private and if the partner is not involved then it is not for her.
She will always read a profile if someone asks about meeting or if she feels we may be interested in meeting them, she is never abusive or nasty in her replies even to those with whom she will not chat in private, her standard reply would be something like "sorry but I do not chat in private with married men who have single profiles - have fun and be lucky" we feel there is never a need to be insulting in the chatrooms, the forums or in our messages to people, there is a perfectly good system for reporting those who abuse us and we have no need to lower ourselves to thier standards.
Most of the time she will view a profile of someone she is chatting with just out of interest but what it says in there would rarely put her off continuing the conversation with someone.
For me there are two types of chat in chatrooms, general conversation and chat where one or more of those chatting hopes that it may lead to a meeting, as people have probably noticed of me in here, I do love to chat and for that I don't require people to read our profile at all, but I simply don't have time to spend a long time chatting so don't use the chatrooms, Sasha on the other hand is a woman and therefore has much more spare time than me to chat away for hours (puts on steel helmet and awaits the missiles) .... giggles
