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AREN'T PM's BRILLIANT ??? !!!!!!!!!!!

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Lil_Bunny
Sex God
Quote by rachel-lane
pm,s you guys actually get them huh ??? confused

Yeah but more often than not they aren't the ones I want !!!
so to the 22yr old guy on who just pm'd me to tell me he's on cam - the answer is no thanx!!!
Unknown User
how come ppl are happy about PMs? :shock: normaly men only complain about their better halves having PMs rolleyes that's the only good thing about being a biological man like moi, no PMs :twisted:
Unknown User
So me thinks Sarge hasnt seen this as yet :giggle:
Jonathan
Orgasminator
Quote by kazswallows
Sarge,, your PM is on its way, i promise not to delete
Think Sarge should be next PM victim of the week xxx lol :lol: :lol: unfortunately he may not get time to reply as he will be dancing round the room for a full week or landing in hospital due to
a) neighbours sectioning him thinking he is crazy or
b) tripping over his washing machine coz he cant see for his shirt.... :lol: :lol:

Make sure you place your vote
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/37811.html
SunBunny
Sex God
Sarge what a brilliant post. I admired you before but now I just :inlove: love ya.
I'd PM you but don't want you wetting your pants in over-excitement. Anyway what would I say? Someone of your experience will have heard it all before....but panic not, I voted for you in the PM of the Week. wink I'm hoping you will recieve so many PMs you will need a secretary (ME! ME! ME!)...................... :notes: :happy: and I can type very fast, one-handed even........... lol
MikeNorth
Sex God
Well, I joined SH in January last year, but apart from "official" pms like details of munches and replies from mods I didn't get a pm until May. I still remember the first one that was personal...thanks AC from on high lol . Now my PM buddies are what keeps me going, I'm not sure I would still be here in SH without them. kiss
Mike.
Sgt_Bilko
Sex God
Quote by Clare_Lincs
So me thinks Sarge hasnt seen this as yet :giggle:

:doh: NO!!! It's Groundhog Day!! :shock: :shock: lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Missy
Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Aren’t Pm’s Brilliant??
Love them or hate them, you just can’t ignore them!!! Click a thread, page changes and there it is at the top of the screen…………..1 New PM!!! biggrin
Wahoo!!! Life just doesn’t get better than this, (except when it says 2 new PMs!!)
Oh I get so excited. Who is it from? What will it say? Will it make me laugh? Will it make me angry? I don’t want to open it; I just want to cherish the moment!!!
Someone somewhere was thinking about me. Someone somewhere went to all the trouble of typing a message just for me.
Oh!!!! I could do backward flips around the room. Well actually that was a lie because….. a) There isn’t enough space in the room and…………..b) I would have to be carried off to the local hospital if I even thought about doing a backward flip, but you get the idea.
Anyway, this evening I was Patrolling the Site doing my Security Checks when happened, (but it happened suddenly!!!!). Then, once I’d recovered from that shock, it happened. I glanced at the top of the screen and there it was grinning at me with a thumb in each ear, waving its fingers at me…………..A new PM. :shock: :shock: :shock:
Fantastic!!! I pulled the front of my shirt over my head and ran into the kitchen. I meant to just run around the room but I couldn’t see where I was going!!!! I shouted at the top of my voice “Who put this washing machine in the front room?” as I fell over the door. I pulled the shirt down and sheepishly headed back to my beloved PM which by now had turned round and was mooning at me!! evil
My imagination went into overdrive. Who sent me this little beauty??? Was it the Sexy, Sultry Sappho? The Amorous Avataring Alex? The Wonderfully Wicked Wilma? The Marvellously Mischievous Misschief? Husky, Horny Heather? Delightfully Dreamy Dawn? The Kutely Kreative Kit? confused The Beautifully Bubbly Blue Eyes or the Jocular Jock Jags? Or maybe, just maybe the Sophisticated D Woman from The Big City???? mad
My heart was pounding so loud I was getting complaints about the noise from people in Birmingham (but I couldn’t understand a word they said, so it didn’t really matter!!). I mopped the sweat from my brow, then rinsed the mop out in the mop bucket and armed with a shaky index finger I made my move towards the mouse.
Gliding the mouse across the desk the arrow on the screen neared the cheeky little PM which was now moon-walking around that top right hand corner. I’m gonna do it. I’m going to press that little mother. I glide the mouse over those lovely letters and then something magical happens. Joy of joys, they turn red, as if with embarrassment, or is it with excitement?
I take a deep breath and finally, without hesitation, I carry out the coolest left-click in NATO and it happens; the name of the Babe that’s PM’d me is revealed for all to see. It’s …………………. It’s…………………………… It’s……………………….. Oh My God!!! Its…no…. it can’t be!!! It’s………Gman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaarrghhhhhhh!!! (Thanks Gman he says trying to hide his disappointment).
So, what was the whole point of this?? Well, it helped me to pass half an hour away in my little made-up world but it also gave me the opportunity to say that I really do like receiving PM’s so if your bored (yes, very bored!!) send me a PM.
It doesn’t have to be about anything in particular (I’ve just taken up a whole thread about nothing in particular!!!) and one day I will get round to replying to you.
There may be some people here that have never experienced the joy of receiving a PM. If that’s you then PM me quoting the reference number N0PM100 and this weeks special offer, a free sample PM from me, will be winging it’s way to you within 14 working days. (No purchase necessary, see special packs for details). Your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a loan secured against it in order to buy the Super Dooper Deluxe PM

This has gotta be one of the worst and most dangerous scams I've seen on here :x
You can hand over your NOPM100 voucher for a freebie - but be warned it's not, it's just a little teaser and a ploy to get you to subscribe to the Super Dooper Deluxe PM :x
This scam was posted over a year ago and there's been nothing but trouble since :shock: I mean look at the people who have disappeared :shock: Lost everything and struggling to keep up the subscription fees for the SDDPM....
Will and Sappho - such a lovely couple, newly in love with the whole world at their feet :twisted: ........ where are they now? Breeding like a couple of rabbits to create more people to work off their debt to SDDPM. Same thing with our Mr and Mrs BlueEyes!! :shock:
Fred and Wilma - Have resorted to dastardly dealings to pay their subscription, mainly seen at muches kidnapping badges :shock: Although not quite sure how the kind of ransoms they're asking for will actually help them pay off the SDDPM subscription :undecided: dunno
Brumlad - now what happened to him? Down the market he is now, that's where, flogging cheap Sarge Dolls for obscene prices!!
Artificer - Now this is a country boy, what would he even want with a Super Dooper Deluxe PM? To Arti, if you can't eat it, farm it or shag it then it's frivolous nonsense - but even he wanted to catch a glimpse of this wonderful entity :shock:
Kit n Kat - Made it through the crisis eventually, only getting out of the SDDPM clause by relinquishing Kats buttons to the Sarge :shock: Took them months of Swinging Heaven Intensive Therapy before they were able to re-enter SH Towers without fear!! :shock:
One of the latest people to fall for this scam is our lovely Debbiewebs :shock: She's now in meetings with Mr Cameron Web, her lawyer (or did she say voyeur? rotflmao at my own joke) - how things will end up, who knows. But we're rooting for ya Debs
I know there are many many others that have fallen prey to this wicked scam ........ be careful, do NOT subscribe to this Super Dooper Deluxe PM :uhoh:
So to everyone who has fallen for this scam, stay strong, we will help you out of this mess as much as we can kiss Right now I'm in contact with both Watchdog and Esther Rantzen ............ ok all I've done so far is Google em cos I couldn't spell Rantzen rolleyes but I'm sure they will help once I can get through security!
celticq
Sex God
I think I might have been tricked into signing up for a SDDPM redface (I am a sucker for a special offer). I think Sarge installed a special PM trip into this thread. I was just in the middle of reading it when a PM pinged up!! Very clever sales technique - nearly shit meself :shock: Very very spooky it was.
MikeNorth
Sex God
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
....ah, MISSCHIEF, makes me nostalgic for the old days....
Mike.
westerross
Sex God
I recently read a World Health Organisation report on the risks associated with SDDPM. Back in 2003 someone described it as a syndrome and so it wasn't taken very seriously. Then on 26 Feb 2004 it began to mutate.
The result is that SDDPM has reached pandemic proportions.
Apocryphal stories abound that the mutation was due to an over exposure to radiated enthuisiasm from a military source as yet unidentified - but MI5 are hopeful that they will track down the culprit soon.
A further theory exists that the incidence of this pernicious condition was given an unexpected boost from a substance known as C*llym*ore (vital information blanked out to protect the innocent) but this is unsubstantiated and can only partly explain the exponential rate of exposure. (Curiously enough the rate of increase of exposure closely mirrors that of the membership of a certain site known in private circles as SH Towers)
Much of this is speculative, which of is what you should not be when you are thinking of exposing yerself to SDDPM.
Missy
Sex God
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
davej
Sex God
Is there some sort of conspiracy going on to confuse me and make me read things twice............jeez whats the chances of choosing words with fewer syllables in them :shock:
westerross
Sex God
Quote by davej
Is there some sort of conspiracy going on to confuse me and make me read things twice............jeez whats the chances of choosing words with fewer syllables in them :shock:

The whole flucking thing's a cons....consp... arrrgh fuck - plot! It was intended to be in the style of a staff reporter in the Guardian - sorry Grauniad. lol
Missy
Sex God
Quote by davej
Is there some sort of conspiracy going on to confuse me and make me read things twice............jeez whats the chances of choosing words with fewer syllables in them :shock:

Spot the next SDDPM victim :uhoh: Oh Dave the subscription will promise you the best one syllable words, small words beyond your wildest dreams .......... what it doesn't tell you is that it will cost about the same as a small S. American country :shock: evil
westerross
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Is there some sort of conspiracy going on to confuse me and make me read things twice............jeez whats the chances of choosing words with fewer syllables in them :shock:

Spot the next SDDPM victim :uhoh: Oh Dave the subscription will promise you the best one syllable words, small words beyond your wildest dreams .......... what it doesn't tell you is that it will cost about the same as a small S. American country :shock: evil
I'll set 'em up. You knock 'em out girl! smile (Just don't tell anyone)
davej
Sex God
mad you buggers I've been back to the start of this and still can't see the obvious wood for the trees, there's gotta be a rule somewhere that says your not allowed to tag up on .....eermm......well people that have only ever seen the Guardian when it was wrapped around 4lb of potato's or a bag 'o' chips ( flip now I'm showing my age) :doh: ....see what you made me do now........bloody brackets....mike who's your counseller!
Missy
Sex God
Quote by davej
( flip now I'm showing my age) :doh:

Blummin Henry Dave!! :shock: Who says 'flip' these days? rotflmao
Sgt_Bilko
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
( flip now I'm showing my age) :doh:

Blummin Henry Dave!! :shock: Who says 'flip' these days? rotflmao
Yes!! We all say Blummin Henry now!! :shock: :shock: :shock: confused :? :?
davej
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
( flip now I'm showing my age) :doh:

Blummin Henry Dave!! :shock: Who says 'flip' these days? rotflmao
it's not hip to say flip anymore? :shock:
westerross
Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko
( flip now I'm showing my age) :doh:

Blummin Henry Dave!! :shock: Who says 'flip' these days? rotflmao
Yes!! We all say Blummin Henry now!! :shock: :shock: :shock: confused :? :?
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Missy you've just been radiated from a military source. Hang on MI5 has just been on they've matched the isotope number.
Sarge yer rumbled.
Missy
Sex God
Quote by davej
it's not hip to say flip anymore? :shock:

No, flip is not hip anymore .......... Blummin Henry is the new flip. cool
Unless you're talking gymnastics of course - cos a Double Back Blummin Henry just sounds silly :undecided:
davej
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
it's not hip to say flip anymore? :shock:

No, flip is not hip anymore .......... Blummin Henry is the new flip. cool
Unless you're talking gymnastics of course - cos a Double Back Blummin Henry just sounds silly :undecided:
<----------------I dont do gymnastics anymore, it's a long story :cry:
Serendipity
Sex God
I think it's a short story Dave, your avatar tells us all we need to know! lol
davej
Sex God
Quote by Serendipity
I think it's a short story Dave, your avatar tells us all we need to know! lol

true.....it was the extra back flip with tuck that done me, I might have gotton away with it nowadays with no hair and a dry scalp but back then when I had a head of hair, bryl cream was fashionable which allowed what was a tuck, to become an embeddement. dunno the marks for originality were high but the consequences more grave redface
westerross
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
it's not hip to say flip anymore? :shock:

No, flip is not hip anymore .......... Blummin Henry is the new flip. cool
Unless you're talking gymnastics of course - cos a Double Back Blummin Henry just sounds silly :undecided:
What about Flamin' Nora? Looks good off the high diving board I'm told.
Missy
Sex God
Quote by westerross
What about Flamin' Nora? Looks good off the high diving board I'm told.

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Aren't you thinking of the Ruddy Nora?
I'm sure I've drunk a Flamin Nora at some posh bar in Benidorm somewhere confused
Calista
Sex God
Quote by westerross
it's not hip to say flip anymore? :shock:

No, flip is not hip anymore .......... Blummin Henry is the new flip. cool
Unless you're talking gymnastics of course - cos a Double Back Blummin Henry just sounds silly :undecided:
What about Flamin' Nora? Looks good off the high diving board I'm told.
Friggin' Ada is popular round here .. .although i'm led to believe that the local constabulary are keeping a close eye on that one :shock:
C x
davej
Sex God
Quote by MISSCHIEF
What about Flamin' Nora? Looks good off the high diving board I'm told.

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Aren't you thinking of the Ruddy Nora?
I'm sure I've drunk a Flamin Nora at some posh bar in Benidorm somewhere confused
isnt the ruddy Nora a duck dunno
davej
Sex God
Quote by Calista
Friggin' Ada is popular round here .. .although i'm led to believe that the local constabulary are keeping a close eye on that one :shock:
C x

I'm not sure if it's right but I don't think an offence is committed unless the friggin Ada is done during a whist drive.