Quote by Resonance
What an excellent thought provoking thread and it struck a chord with me.
I suppose, I could easily be labelled as projecting an inauthentic persona, indeed I have been accused of being "disappointing" by one person after a Social/Munch (I always get them mixed up) I went to two years ago, even though that person did not speak a word to me all night.
My defence then, as it would be now, is simply on here, in the Forum, I project the aspects of my personality I think people will like and enjoy. I feel that is what people would like to read. I could post boring rants of lack of confidence, insecurity and shyness, but I don't think people would want to read that, I certainly would not enjoy writing about it. Instead, I hope it is things like my good nature, fairness, sense of fun, humour and honesty, that people see. Though people will have formed their own opinions of me through my posts, PM's and one on one conversations with me and with other forumites, which may be considerably different to that. That is entirely their prerogative of course.
In a real life situation, such as a Social, I cannot so easily hide away the aspects of my character that are perhaps not as appealling, namely my inherent shyness, initial lack of confidence especially when meeting new people in a typical social situation, the nerves of the evening itself (we are still very new to this and have had limited very mixed experiences) and the fact that I listen probably twice as much as I talk. Don't get me wrong, I am not a mute swan who mumbles and is about as funny as a dose of the clap, but I find listening more interesting than spouting tosh about what I think, or how great I am and trying to prove it with all kinds of daft behaviour to clamour for attention to somehow prove I am the same person who posts what I do.
The difference is marked however when I am with people I like, understand and feel confident with. In such situations I am much more like the persona I project on here. That is much more the real "me" and the "me" I am on here. That is true regardless of whether I am in the vanilla or Swinging world.
So I guess I must misrepresent myself to some extent in that I choose not to highlight the more flawed aspects of my personality. I frequently highlight many of my shortcomings in many posts and pm's, believe me I am no stranger to self-deprecation, so I may well appear 'disappointing' to some physically, socially, mentally as well as personality-wise. Indeed it is this very fear that often keeps me away from attending Socials and Munches. Perhaps this is even sinister to others, who assume it is done for some dark, ulterior motive. This all of course contributes to my inherent lack of confidence and shyness and down the spiral we go, thereby proving those assertions quite correct for some.
I would dearly love to be the "Fun-time Frankie" to everyone at an event. But as Tune's friend said- life isn't like that. There are other aspects of my personality that I cannot so easily tune out in social situations. That makes me fallible, flawed and human, however it does not make me dishonest. Disappointing, maybe, but all I ask is the chance to chat and get to know you before you make that judgement, and perhaps making a judgement on someone based on a few hours of alcohol induced non-communication, may not be the best way to do so.
To summarise, I am the person I am on here, in real life, I cannot and will not invent a persona to be simply to "get a shag" or try and engender some positive feeling from Forum folk. However I accentuate the aspects of my psyche that I think will appeal. In certain social situations, the negative aspects of my personality are also apparent. Whether that is dishonest, disappointing or just natural, is entirely in the perception of others and I'd hope that I would get a chance to quell the demons of fear, nerves and insecurity and show the better sides of my personality to everyone at some point, before people are quick to make snap judgements.
It does ones soul good to occasionally examine our many frailties, a really good thread. Now I'm off to weep into a camomile hanky... ;-)
Res you write some very thought provoking and very honest posts.
We all have insecurities I don't see that as hiding your true self, but some people find it easy to delve deep into their soul and open it up for all to see.
I think anyone that has read my threads in the past would see I have opened up every aspect of myself, my inner thoughts, fears and weaknesses. I have never minded in life to do that, but I wouldn't expect others to feel the same way.
I don't know why I have always felt able to do that, maybe I have never felt the need to be accepted. I don't need people to like me or agree with me. It is funny I have spoken to a few people here that have said I come across as very confident within my self, but I am my own worse critic, so I guess others knocking me has no lasting effect.
Some I believe keep themselves closed of fear of rejection as in life people are often quick to judge, some find pleasure out of attacking others weaknesses.
But I always say we are who we are if you don't like me move on by.
I am not a confidence person and I never judge others for their weakness because for one weakness there always seem to be many more strengths.
I respond to the strenghts and over look the weaknesses as I know myself nobody is perfect.
I'm NOT talking about people who don't look like what you thought they might, more people who really don't ACT like what you thought they might - good and/or bad 
), debate with others without getting emotional/personal most of the time and have fun along the way. I've seen a few folk who I thought might be quiet really 'come into their own' in the real world and have been pleasantly surprised. However, I've also seen (and heard) of others who 'big themselves up' and then seem to under-deliver when it comes to matching their online persona in the real world. 
:grin:
