What do you call a dwarf that falls into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Glasgow?
They couldn't find a virgin or three wise men.
What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe?
Wee Shooey.
What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe and can't find his
dog?
Wee Shooey Douglas.
A guy walks into a GP's surgery.
Doctor, Doctor! You've got to help me! I feel like I'm turning into coconut!"
Says the doctor, "You're bountae."
What did Dracula get when he came to Glasgow?
A bat in the mooth.
There were three coos in a field. Which wan wis oan its hoalidays?
The wan wi a wee calf.
What do you call an illegitimate insect?
A fly bastart.
Hear about the lonely prisoner?
He was in his cell.
What famous costume drama TV series of the 1970's was named after a queue for the toilet?
The Aw Needin Line.
The man in the clothes shop insisting on a maroon jacket.
"Fur ma roon shooders..."
Hear about the stupit skindiver?
He didny hae a scubae.
Did you hear about the London criminal who fell foul of the Glasgow Mafia?
Apparently they made him an offer he couldn't understand.
What do you call a Glasgow Sikh who enjoys karaoke?
Gupty Singh.
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BAD Weegie humour
Quote by KitKatDoes this mean, humour from a BAD Weegie? or BAD humour from a Weegie?:lol:
BAD Weegie humour
lhk
x
I am building up a list of slaps to give you - that was just a little one though!
No,m it's bad humour about Weegie... you really do need to know how to do a guttaral stop when reading these, and out loud works best.
x xx
Orgasminator
jags wrote:-
With these examples of scottish jokes, no wonder there is only one scottish comedian. These jokes are probably why jags is living in England. She's been exiled.
Harry0
_________________________
I do like the 'Big Yin' tho.
What do you call a dwarf that falls into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
Why wasn't Jesus born in Glasgow?
They couldn't find a virgin or three wise men.
What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe?
Wee Shooey.
What do you call a man who takes a small size in a shoe and can't find his
dog?
Wee Shooey Douglas.
A guy walks into a GP's surgery.
Doctor, Doctor! You've got to help me! I feel like I'm turning into coconut!"
Says the doctor, "You're bountae."
What did Dracula get when he came to Glasgow?
A bat in the mooth.
There were three coos in a field. Which wan wis oan its hoalidays?
The wan wi a wee calf.
What do you call an illegitimate insect?
A fly bastart.
Hear about the lonely prisoner?
He was in his cell.
What famous costume drama TV series of the 1970's was named after a
queue for the toilet?
The Aw Needin Line.
The man in the clothes shop insisting on a maroon jacket.
"Fur ma roon shooders..."
Hear about the stupit skindiver?
He didny hae a scubae.
Did you hear about the London criminal who fell foul of the Glasgow Mafia?
Apparently they made him an offer he couldn't understand.
What do you call a Glasgow Sikh who enjoys karaoke?
Gupty Singh.
With these examples of scottish jokes, no wonder there is only one scottish comedian. These jokes are probably why jags is living in England. She's been exiled.
Harry0
_________________________
I do like the 'Big Yin' tho.
Sex God
I thought this was worth bumping back to the top from a loooong way back - I've just been absolutely helpless with laughter reading it ..ROTFLMAO in fact.
Mike.
Mike.
Sex God
I got 'em or should that be Ah goot'em
try reading Trainspotting or The Acid House by Irving Welsh. That's one way of helping with the dialect.
try reading Trainspotting or The Acid House by Irving Welsh. That's one way of helping with the dialect.
