I hate you all
Having decided to attempt this I have merely ended up swelling Mr elastoplats coffers and ensuring myself a long and uncomfortable week
:cry:
glad the Munch went well
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Beanbags I hate you all
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Quote by warwick
To the posters on the shaved beanbag thread
I hate you all
Having decided to attempt this I have merely ended up swelling Mr elastoplats coffers and ensuring myself a long and uncomfortable week
:cry:
glad the Munch went well
Alas poor Warwick :lol:
Did you attempt this on your own? Just hacking away with some cheap disposable?
Come on man, give us the details :shock:
Paul
Of course I attempted it on my own which may have been the problem.
Dont the rest of you find it difficult to get hand eye co ordination right looking in a mirror
:
actually I am exagerating a bit ..i only nicked it once but boy did it hurt :cry:
Still now I will be irresistable to the whole of women kind
or on the other hand perhaps not
Dont the rest of you find it difficult to get hand eye co ordination right looking in a mirror
: actually I am exagerating a bit ..i only nicked it once but boy did it hurt :cry:
Still now I will be irresistable to the whole of women kind
or on the other hand perhaps not
Sex God
awwwwwwwwww poor warwick, do you want it kissing better?
try a Mach 3 babes gets in all the the difficult places
Vicky xxx
try a Mach 3 babes gets in all the the difficult places
Vicky xxx
Sex God
So Warwick, did you apply aftershave to keep the skin smooth? 
What technique did you use? Was it a Mach 3?
Have you got away from looking at yourself in the mirror yet? Different angles, light shading and even states of arousal?
I'm sorry to here about your catching but I'm sure you will forget about it when the re-growth starts. Ouch.
What technique did you use? Was it a Mach 3?
Have you got away from looking at yourself in the mirror yet? Different angles, light shading and even states of arousal?
I'm sorry to here about your catching but I'm sure you will forget about it when the re-growth starts. Ouch.
Quote by warwick
Yes please Vicky
Matmoleman used a Mach 4 turbonutterbolokbastard 3.0 litre sport macho coupe
( it has long been a source of concern to the author as to who thinks up names for disposable razors....coo eee look at me Ive got a TURBO :!: )
Oh Dear Warwick;
I can see the problem immediately. You should not have used the BolokBastard. Whilst it's name implies that it is specially designed for Bolloks, I can attest that it's a myth. The thing was designed by ladies that suffer from 'penis and bollock envy' . There sole purpose in life is to damage mens genitalia. Do not use this implement again.
You should have used a version 5, Soft Touch Fanny Strimmer..
Best Wishes for a speedy recovery
Paul
Sex God
i hope you managed to remove every last bit of hair though hun, otherwise.........
... just wait till u have to rip the plaster off!
hewheheheeheheheheh
let me know if you need any help.
xxxxxxxxx
:P
... just wait till u have to rip the plaster off!
hewheheheeheheheheh
let me know if you need any help.
xxxxxxxxx
:P
Sex God
i am glad a few pics of me has the power to brighten up your awfull day babe
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
xxxx
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: xxxx
Quote by warwick
Oh very funny Paul
So I take youre advice nip down to Boots ask the girl for a fanny strimmer and the next thing I know Im being escorted from the shop by the local constabulary :cry:
And I thought I could trust you lot
Now come on Warwick... Just go to and order the bugger online.
Paul
Sex God
lol
u will make me blush... get back to talking about beanbags! lol
xxxxx
u will make me blush... get back to talking about beanbags! lol
xxxxx
Sex God
Quote by warwick
To the posters on the shaved beanbag thread
I hate you all
Having decided to attempt this I have merely ended up swelling Mr elastoplats coffers and ensuring myself a long and uncomfortable week
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:sounds frighteningly familiar................ :lol2:
i found this weekend that forgetting to buy immac, or at least a new blade for aforesaid mach3torbubollockbastard, can be a very nerve jangling experience......just when a steady hand is most important.......
least the tension helps (ahem!!!) reduce the overall area of skin requiring attention!!! :lol2:
neil x x x x x
oh and the stubble starts to stab a bit in tender areas as well :lol2:
Wait till you get the spots.....!
To be honest it feels weird at first, but you get used to it! I feel better either well trimmed or free, and the shower is the best place. In time you get used to the feel without mirrors. Not always 100%, but comfy! Use a ladyshave type, and just be light handed. Ithink the brand new ones are prone to be a bit sharp, not good news.
Always trim it down well with scissors first, it cuts down the rip and tear effect from the hairs, and makes it better and easier to shave!
My twopenneth anyhows.
RH
To be honest it feels weird at first, but you get used to it! I feel better either well trimmed or free, and the shower is the best place. In time you get used to the feel without mirrors. Not always 100%, but comfy! Use a ladyshave type, and just be light handed. Ithink the brand new ones are prone to be a bit sharp, not good news.
Always trim it down well with scissors first, it cuts down the rip and tear effect from the hairs, and makes it better and easier to shave!
My twopenneth anyhows.
RH
Sex God
Quote by warwick
And I thought I could trust you lot
oh you innocent man, what ever gave you that idea??
<<< thinks quoting warwick there means what follows cannot technically be called a hijack..................but seeing as though we've already started down this road a bit anyways.............
Quote by fun365
As a self confessed viewer of WBB web pages. I can only attest to there powers
WellBustyBabe's got a web-page????? OOooooohhhh WellBustyBabe's got a web-page!!!!!! how have i so far managed to avoid finding it???? :lol2:
NoteToSelfNo1 = Pay lots of attention to WellBustyBabe's site
NoteToSelfNo2 = Pay lots of attention to WellBustyBabe full stop :lol2: now about this (Ahem!!) full package...
neil x x x x x
Sex God
Ah dear Warwick, if only you hadnt listened to poor advice then you wouldn't look as though you have put your pride and joy through the office shreader. I can tell you as someone who has kept himself in trim for a number of years, that some of the advice previousely posted will only add to your woes and that if you follow my routine, then you will never suffer again.
As you will have heard, the best possible place to perform the delicate art of gliding a stiff unforgiving object, (the razor) across a soft, mallable, non uniform, tender shape (yer nuts) is the shower. Completely wrong!
Now to my point. Do not shave your tadger and accesories in the shower (despite the general advice) because the increase temperature will have made them sag and be as easy to handle as unbeaten egg whites, no dear Warwick, get them as cold as possible and you will find that they are much easier to handle.
Can I suggest that the best place to shave your Gonads is in your local fast food shop. This is what you do:-
Pack your razor into your pocket along with no more than , drive down to your local Mc 'D' and purchase a happy meal. Exchange the standard coke for a thick shake or better still a slush puppy and ask them to serve your drink first and hold the bun. Take your thick shake and ensuring the coast is clear, nip into the toilets and after whipping the top off your drink, plunge your nuts into the thick shake, the severe cold will instanly make them shrink and tighten and therefore esier to handle and shave, you will have the added benefit that the thick liquid will act as a very passable shaving foam thus further aiding your quest.
You may encounter a problem with posture in the toilet as the cubicles are small, (they were not designed with shaving in mind) however if you sit on the pan with the lid down and put one foot up on the door bolt and stretch the other across to the giant loo roll holder, you will find yourself in a position where your legs are akimbo and your now shrunken gonads, exposed and as hard as a golf ball. Now your task is simple......shave away.
Once you have finished shaving, you should again plunge your gleaming sack into the cooling liquid which also acts as a balm. Dry yourself, dress yourself, replace your drinks lid and return to the counter to collect your meal. As you will see you have now killed two birds with one stone you have shaved and lunched at the same time. You may even have had the happy benefit of collecting a two for one voucher in which case you could take a freind on your next visit.
The choice to drink your drink, or to give it to a stranger, saying you are too full to drink it, is yours and really is dependant on your mood for the day.
P.S. remember to shower when you get home otherwise your meat and veg will remain Bannana flavoured.
I hope that my advice is of use to you and that you view your next trip to get an Egg Mcmuffin as not a chore but an oppurtunity.
As you will have heard, the best possible place to perform the delicate art of gliding a stiff unforgiving object, (the razor) across a soft, mallable, non uniform, tender shape (yer nuts) is the shower. Completely wrong!
Now to my point. Do not shave your tadger and accesories in the shower (despite the general advice) because the increase temperature will have made them sag and be as easy to handle as unbeaten egg whites, no dear Warwick, get them as cold as possible and you will find that they are much easier to handle.
Can I suggest that the best place to shave your Gonads is in your local fast food shop. This is what you do:-
Pack your razor into your pocket along with no more than , drive down to your local Mc 'D' and purchase a happy meal. Exchange the standard coke for a thick shake or better still a slush puppy and ask them to serve your drink first and hold the bun. Take your thick shake and ensuring the coast is clear, nip into the toilets and after whipping the top off your drink, plunge your nuts into the thick shake, the severe cold will instanly make them shrink and tighten and therefore esier to handle and shave, you will have the added benefit that the thick liquid will act as a very passable shaving foam thus further aiding your quest.
You may encounter a problem with posture in the toilet as the cubicles are small, (they were not designed with shaving in mind) however if you sit on the pan with the lid down and put one foot up on the door bolt and stretch the other across to the giant loo roll holder, you will find yourself in a position where your legs are akimbo and your now shrunken gonads, exposed and as hard as a golf ball. Now your task is simple......shave away.
Once you have finished shaving, you should again plunge your gleaming sack into the cooling liquid which also acts as a balm. Dry yourself, dress yourself, replace your drinks lid and return to the counter to collect your meal. As you will see you have now killed two birds with one stone you have shaved and lunched at the same time. You may even have had the happy benefit of collecting a two for one voucher in which case you could take a freind on your next visit.
The choice to drink your drink, or to give it to a stranger, saying you are too full to drink it, is yours and really is dependant on your mood for the day.
P.S. remember to shower when you get home otherwise your meat and veg will remain Bannana flavoured.
I hope that my advice is of use to you and that you view your next trip to get an Egg Mcmuffin as not a chore but an oppurtunity.
Dear Warwick;
I can only suggest that you ignore Davej's advice. His ridiculous suggestion of freezing 'your sack' in a shake - is just that, ridiculous!!!! :shock:
Do not be fooled, he is just trying to get you humiliated in a public place. I believe that you can do that yourself without Daves help
Regards
Paul
I can only suggest that you ignore Davej's advice. His ridiculous suggestion of freezing 'your sack' in a shake - is just that, ridiculous!!!! :shock:
Do not be fooled, he is just trying to get you humiliated in a public place. I believe that you can do that yourself without Daves help
Regards
Paul
Many thanks Davej for your sage advice
i have a couple of incy wincy problems however
1 I am currently banned from driving due to a record breaking Gatso moment
2 as you are aware under the new sarge regulation it takes me a fraction under seven hours to have a shower
3 plunging my manhood into a mcdonalds double shake is not the most appealing use for it
4 currently i am almost incapable of movement due to the aforementioned shaving attempt
5 I am currently getting loads of sympathy from the georgeous female forum members making the whole excecise worthwhile
6 i cant afford a Mc shake anyway as son number one fleeced me for my last quid this morning
nevertheless I am grateful for your contribution as at least it wont get me arrested
:cry:
fanny strimmer indeed
i have a couple of incy wincy problems however
1 I am currently banned from driving due to a record breaking Gatso moment
2 as you are aware under the new sarge regulation it takes me a fraction under seven hours to have a shower
3 plunging my manhood into a mcdonalds double shake is not the most appealing use for it
4 currently i am almost incapable of movement due to the aforementioned shaving attempt
5 I am currently getting loads of sympathy from the georgeous female forum members making the whole excecise worthwhile
6 i cant afford a Mc shake anyway as son number one fleeced me for my last quid this morning
nevertheless I am grateful for your contribution as at least it wont get me arrested
:cry:
fanny strimmer indeed
Sex God
Quote by warwick
nevertheless I am grateful for your contribution as at least it wont get me arrested
:cry:
fanny strimmer indeed
provided you keep your foot on the door bolt...see wise advice indeed.
Sex God
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
davej..........pure quality......fecking priceless.....but stoooooppppppp........me neighbours wondering what all the howling's about.........
neil x x x x
<<< discovered the advantages of very cold water, but christ it makes 'em ache a bit after! :lol2: >>>
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:davej..........pure quality......fecking priceless.....but stoooooppppppp........me neighbours wondering what all the howling's about.........
neil x x x x
<<< discovered the advantages of very cold water, but christ it makes 'em ache a bit after! :lol2: >>>
Quote by davej
nevertheless I am grateful for your contribution as at least it wont get me arrested
:cry:
fanny strimmer indeed
provided you keep your foot on the door bolt...see wise advice indeed.
Ok Warwick. You deride my suggestion of a fanny strimmer
I try my best to give you good advice - but you just shove it aside :shock:
Well, you go with Davej and his shake approach and see where that gets you
Davej has a couple of good points but it's not the full story....
He is wrong to assert that dipping your bollocks into a cold shake as a starting point is the correct approach.
What you need to do is (and this is derived from cooking) is...
Go to McDonalds (or any other suitable establishment) and order a Bowl of Custard, a Latte and a bowl of iced water
Firstly heat the ball bag up. I suggest that you dip the 'puppies' into a boiling hot Latte. Don't be stupid here - about 30 seconds will suffice. You immediately want them to stop cooking !!! So, dump them into the bowl of iced water. Ahhhhh, the relief that ensues. Now what this has done is to stop the cooking process, tighten the ball bag and lift up the hairs. Perfect.
Now don't wait. Smother the ball bag in custard. Much better than shake as an alternative shaving foam.
Start shaving. A perfect result will ensue.
Also, I personally don't think that you need to retire to the Gentlemans, rather you can perform the operation in the main dining hall.
Good luck and let me know how it goes
Regards
Paul
Yes my Lord the defendant insists that this is indeed common practice, and that he was in any case merely following instructions from a web site
my Lord the defendant wishes to alter his plea to one of diminished responsobility and have three other cases of custard taken into consideration
Yes my Lord diminished responsibility, my client claims he was distracted by images of certain avitars
My client thanks the judge for his leniency and confirms he will indeed see him at the next Midlands Munch
my Lord the defendant wishes to alter his plea to one of diminished responsobility and have three other cases of custard taken into consideration
Yes my Lord diminished responsibility, my client claims he was distracted by images of certain avitars
My client thanks the judge for his leniency and confirms he will indeed see him at the next Midlands Munch
Well you guys though this subject is very male as when i last looked i dont have any of the aformentioned beanbags, i had to say ive been laughing my head off! cheers guys!!!!! love peppsxxxxxx Sex God
Quote by Fun365
Dear Warwick;
I can only suggest that you ignore Davej's advice. His ridiculous suggestion of freezing 'your sack' in a shake - is just that, ridiculous!!!! :shock:
Do not be fooled, he is just trying to get you humiliated in a public place. I believe that you can do that yourself without Daves help
Regards
Paul
Really! Fun 365 thats not the case at all. I was mearly trying to help, had I wanted to get warwick to make himself look stupid in public I would have advised covering his smiffies in a Mcflurry, sticking a flake up his arse and then claim to be going to a fancy dress party as a 99. ice cream
Warming the Bed
Jeez guys you certainly know how to brighten a lass's day up. And as for davej your sick lol fancy wanting to waste a mcflurry like that Id much rather lick it off then offer to shave you afterwards. Im sure the girlies on here would agree with me .
Im sure the girlies on here would agree with me . 