Many thanks to all the ladies, gents and bIoke (lol luv ya really hunni)for the varied replied.
Now we have some insight into why this happens can we not do something about it to make it easier for everyone?
As I said in my 1st post this thread was not a witch hunt or meant to offend but it was meant to do exactly what it has and that's a frank open discussion about why some bi men/women/cpls don't say so on their profiles. :thumbup:
Caz xx
No need for apology steve but thanks any way.
Great thread guys
Hmmm.
Most of the pm's I get are from straight men wanting, funnily enough, access to pictures, and meets. Though I find it a bit odd that someone labelling themselves as 'straight' wants a homosexual experience (not a bi one, as no female is involved) you know what? That's OK. I don't reply because, to be quite honest, if I want a gay experience I can pick up a guy in a bar easily. But whatever - I can fully understand why people don't want a label, and that's fine. It took me long enough to admit to myself that I was actually bi - and to be open about it in my everyday life as it's actually, to me, an important part of what makes me me - I'm queer and proud of it. But I don't force it down anyones throat (unless asked nicely).
The homophobia issue, though, and the anti PC stance that's becoming so prevalent these days, is an important one. Maybe it's because I'm so visually different to the majority that i seem to catch an awful lot of homophobic flak on the streets - and whatever you may think about political correctness gone mad it's difficult to defend direct verbal abuse and violence because of someones percieved sexuality, (or race, or religion or whatever) - that is what is not OK - a gang of teenagers kicking fuck out of somone for being a bit effeminate, f'rexample, is not on at all. That's homophobia, not someone making a silly joke about anal sex - but those silly jokes in the office are kind of in addition to the real nasty shit that can go down if you are openly and visibly queer, (or black, or Indian...) and I suppose that's the real message behind what people now term political correctness - just show some respect for people's feelings.
Hope that's not offended anyone - it's a difficult thing to explain as it's so wrapped up in emotion for people. I actually personally don't care if jokes are made about me, I'd just rather not be put into a coma by a gang of scallies, thanks. Sorry if that's off the topic a bit, but it probably could do with saying. Oh, I know that people will think to themselves, 'if it's really that bad then don't look like that!' - but, well, that's missing the point. The point is, everyone deserves respect, and to feel safe.
i don't know sometimes how debates get developed round here. you could take any profile here and examine it. there are some demanding safe sex, but show piccies of various partners bareback. there are those who want face piccies but don't show their own.
It seems like most profiles are a contradiction, and at the same time constrained by what I think is a limited vocabulary and language. So i haven't put much faith in the profile as a gauge of people's intentions or abilities. But its all there is available to use as a tool.
i just don't know if I'll be bothered again to use my profile. there never was much there anyway. Of the few I have met through the site, their profile was to me; just a formality. they were quite different to the image I had formed. It was just a nuisance to have formed an incorrect impression.
x
ops: :oops: Its flower all over again :gagged:
hwoar:
I do find it all a bit intriguing and sad at the same time myself too, to be honest - the fact that people have to cover it up I mean. Especially from people that they know and love. I had a 'straight' bloke chatting to me last night and he said his girlfriend had no idea about his bi tendencies... I tend to operate on the 'well that's none of my business' basis but I still thought about it afterwards. But I do realise I'm in a pretty unusual position on here than a lot of other guys and am thankful for that.