Biggest loser yet!

7 Jan 2005

We all know that even though you put "no single males" in your ad you get a few trying it on. Even if that ad is in the "Couples looking for women" section - where they shouldn't even be looking (except fo curiosity) they still like to email you.
This one, however is the worst one yet -a real sad attempt at some kind of seduction:
"Hello, I have just read your profile and I thought it could be
interesting to have the opportunity to know each other. May be you are
wondering whether I am the right person for you. Well, give me one minute and
you will sorted out it. I'm 38, Latino-type, living in SW UK, tall,
medium build, with short dark hair, good-looking, educated and attractive
man. What I can offer: passion, very passionate games, fun,
unselfishness and extended periods on foreplay. If you ever dreamed of an anonymous
threesome of a whatever game with a handsome stranger, I am your
perfect fantasy. Well, if you are not completely convinced by my words, I
would hope that this short mail could enhance your curiosity and convince
you to meet for a chat drinking a good glass of red wine. Now you have
only to dial my number and hear my voice. It will be the first nice
surprise.
Fabry"
There was a pic attached and, though it's obvious he thinks he is some kind of latin loverboy, believe me, he is no Ricky Martin! More like his middle aged uncle (complete with beer belly).
Let's pick out the holes in this.
"Hello, I have just read your profile"
well you obviously didn't read it very well as it says "no single males"
"May be you are wondering whether I am the right person for you"
well unless you are a bi-fem which is what my ad was for, then no you are not, and am NOT wondering!
"Well, give me one minute and you will sorted out it."
It didn't take me a minute - it took one second!
"good-looking, educated and attractive man"
What a laugh! The pic shows you are not good looking and attractive and you obviously aren't educated as you are a dumb ass who can't read!
"you ever dreamed of an anonymous threesome of a whatever game with a handsome stranger, I am your perfect fantasy."
Dreamed? No way, I stay awake and make things happen!
Anonymous stranger? Yeh, sure, if she is a bi-fem like my FUCKING AD SAYS!
My perfect fantasy? You? far from it! That's your dream, bozo, not mine!
"Well, if you are not completely convinced by my words,"
I'm convinced you're a loser with an inflated ego who either can't read (I hope) or really thinks he is so special that the rules don't apply to him.
LOOKING FOR BI-FEMS
NO SINGLE MALES!
HELLO!!
"I would hope that this short mail could enhance your curiosity and convince
you to meet for a chat drinking a good glass of red wine"
What? Is this supposed to be some kind of latin seduction technique or something?
I'm curious about why losers like you think this kind of thing would really work, but that's about all!
"Now you have only to dial my number and hear my voice. It will be the first nice
surprise."
Of course he thinks he has a sexy seducive voice doesn't he?
I almost rang it out of curiosity just to find out and to have a real laugh down the phone at him. Maybe it would have turned out to be the orderline for the local pizza delivery?
So has anyone else heard from this latin lover boy? I haven't seen him on the forum so guess he's just doing the ads.
Or failing that, what's your worst one of these?
Got to have some fun while we're weeding out the wannabees from the people who are really going to get a fuck this weekend.
Rachel
wink

7 Jan 2005

:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Maybe you should dish out his phone number to a few of your friends and let them see if he isas seductive as he believes....
Or maybe not if a mod is watching

:smackbottom: :smackbottom:

7 Jan 2005

its guys like that.
that give us all a bad name but i have noticed that the idiots on here get weeded out quite quickly
i think you should have phoned him though just for a laugh
lol
colin

7 Jan 2005

Quote by steve-shireen
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
Maybe you should dish out his phone number to a few of your friends and let them see if he isas seductive as he believes....
Or maybe not if a mod is watching
:smackbottom: :smackbottom:

I have several gay male friends who might like to give that a go - see how he likes being hassled by the "wrong" kind of person!
Although it wouldn't be appropriate to post his email and phone number, if someone asked me for it by PM I guess that would be OK? I mean he did give it out freely, and he's looking for love!
Rachel
wink

7 Jan 2005

Quote by chick0074
"Hello, I have just read your profile and I thought it could be
interesting to have the opportunity to know each other. May be you are
wondering whether I am the right person for you. Well, give me one minute and
you will sorted out it. I'm 38, Latino-type, living in SW UK, tall,
medium build, with short dark hair, good-looking, educated and attractive
man. What I can offer: passion, very passionate games, fun,
unselfishness and extended periods on foreplay. If you ever dreamed of an anonymous
threesome of a whatever game with a handsome stranger, I am your
perfect fantasy. Well, if you are not completely convinced by my words, I
would hope that this short mail could enhance your curiosity and convince
you to meet for a chat drinking a good glass of red wine. Now you have
only to dial my number and hear my voice. It will be the first nice
surprise.
Fabry"

Looks like one of those copy and paste jobbies to me, so he couldn't even be bothered to write an original reply. rolleyes

I'd meet him and scare him to death. He won't do it again wink

:wink:

7 Jan 2005

Quote by bluexxx
I'd meet him and scare him to death. He won't do it again :wink:

Just what I was gonna say. Wanna meet him with me blue? :wink:

7 Jan 2005

:small-print: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :thumbup:

7 Jan 2005

Send Me his number. We have something in common -
I'm male (he wants female)
I'm not in his part of the country (He's SW and I'm NW)
He seems to think he has a sexy voice (Hmmph <deep manly tones> wait til he hears mine!)
A match made in Heaven!! And I'll come back and tell you what he said - how's that for discretion!!
Go on Chick - you know you really want to!!! :twisted:
Mal
wink

7 Jan 2005

Ok, Mal, his details are winging their way to you!
Rachel
wink

7 Jan 2005

Got it - AND I've checked out his ads!! His reply to you is virtually the same as his ads - obviously a lot of forethought into getting it right for you, Rach! lol

BRB!
Mal

7 Jan 2005

Quote by mal609
Got it - AND I've checked out his ads!! His reply to you is virtually the same as his ads - obviously a lot of forethought into getting it right for you, Rach!
BRB!
Mal

cant wait to see what happens rotflmao

colin

7 Jan 2005

Okeya Dokeya
Havinga spokena to the Latin Love God, it seemsa he didn't quitea understanda the 'No Single Guysa' on the adsa - or the facta that onea was in Couples seekinga Couples and the other in Couples seekinga Female. Obviously a language problema. Nor did he saya he was sendinga these outa to lotsa of people (yea, right!).
He has been pointed in the right direction and apologises to Rachel, although he did think you might have put at the bottom of your ad 'males' - I assured him in my best latino that was bollocks.
Rest assured all you lovely ladies out there, you will now be spared the sparkling wit and talents of this superman. But have no fear, I'm sure another chancer will be stepping off the goofy bus any second!! lol

So me and you now sorted for a good time, then Rachel? I mean, all the competitions gone. It's just you and me and ..........................!!!
Mal
:lol:

7 Jan 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Nice one!

7 Jan 2005

Quote by mal609
So me and you now sorted for a good time, then Rachel? I mean, all the competitions gone. It's just you and me and ..........................!!!

ME!

7 Jan 2005

What is the latino for "bollox" I wonder?
Good for a laugh I suppose.
So anyone else have one like this?
Rachel
wink

7 Jan 2005

Ok Vix, you smooth talker, you! I'll get my people to talk to your people and then we can get it sorted!! :twisted: :twisted:
Mal
wink

7 Jan 2005

Quote by mal609
'No Single Guysa' on the adsa

Tescos are doing the same deal two for the price of one

7 Jan 2005

Quote by chick0074
What is the latino for "bollox" I wonder?
Good for a laugh I suppose.
So anyone else have one like this?
Rachel

I'm pretty sure you weren't his only 'special friend' - NOW DON'T GET SAD!! They'll be plenty of others, you wont be overlooked just because you hide in the wrong categories for them. They'll find you!
Mal
:wink:
Ps - Latino for bollox - Que? lol

7 Jan 2005

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

7 Jan 2005

Like I said in this thread - New Year, New Losers:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/31439.html
And I bet this idiot loughbourough is sending PMs out to more than just me as well!
(how do you pronounce that anyway? low-borrow? loff borroff? laugh bore ass?
What a name to give a kid.
According to his PM he is VV WE - that's 2 Vs and a W - obvious 5 inches is only VWE where he comes from)
I dunno - losers sending their phone number.
"Can I give you a ring"
"I already have one - through my clit!"
(see photo on my ad)
Rachel
wink

7 Jan 2005

Chick, there have always been, and always will be, chancers replying to every ad. I think advertisers just have to accept it as an occupational hazard, so to speak, because it's impossible to prevent. I know it's annoying, and I know you want to blow off steam, but eventually I think you'll just have to bite your tongue and ignore it, otherwise you'll go nuts.
Regards,
Ice

7 Jan 2005

Good advice from Ice!
Though occasionally starting a thread like this and taking the piss a bit doesn't hurt.
Rachel
wink

7 Jan 2005

You know, just to say one final word about the Latin Luvver, did it strike anyone else that it was written in the style of a job application? "I am the man for this job, you will give it to me, and if you're in doubt I can demonstrate my work..." They say confidence is the key to interviews, after all.

7 Jan 2005

Quote by chick0074
loughbourough ... (how do you pronounce that anyway? low-borrow? loff borroff? laugh bore ass?
Rachel

It is pronounced 'luff-burra'. Loughborough is a place in Leicestershire.

7 Jan 2005

Quote by roger743
You know, just to say one final word about the Latin Luvver, did it strike anyone else that it was written in the style of a job application? "I am the man for this job, you will give it to me, and if you're in doubt I can demonstrate my work..." They say confidence is the key to interviews, after all.

And, like a cv, it gets copied word for word to every potential employer. If you said you wanted to get it on with trisexual Martians in a swimming pool full of chicken soup, you'd get the same response. rotflmao

7 Jan 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
If you said you wanted to get it on with trisexual Martians in a swimming pool full of chicken soup, you'd get the same response.

Thanks, Ice, I was wondering who I could get to ring him up tonight! :twisted:
Rachel
wink

7 Jan 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
If you said you wanted to get it on with trisexual Martians in a swimming pool full of chicken soup, you'd get the same response.

Oooh - now that sounds interesting :shock: Except it'd have to be veggie soup.
Rainbows off to find the ad section for trisexual Martians...... confused

7 Jan 2005

Trisexual martians and illiterate latinos.
That's a match made in hell if ever there was!
Rachel
wink

7 Jan 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Chick, there have always been, and always will be, chancers replying to every ad. I think advertisers just have to accept it as an occupational hazard, so to speak, because it's impossible to prevent. I know it's annoying, and I know you want to blow off steam, but eventually I think you'll just have to bite your tongue and ignore it, otherwise you'll go nuts.
Regards,
Ice

now i know whats wrong with me i went nuts before i bit my tounge
:bounce:

7 Jan 2005

mine are all deleted so cant post them to make you laugh!
however, i have had many like that who when i have replied to say "but you are not what i asked for", they have the cheek to start having a go at me for wasting their time!!!!!
lol

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: