Does anyone find it a bit odd to be blocked by someone who you've never interacted with?? In my home screen, where you can see who has visited your profile, I clicked to return the view only to find I'm blocked and warned against harassment.
Seems a little harsh, especially since I don't recall having visited them first! Some people are strange.
Curiosity got the better of me, created a profile to view again it says this:
"Single guys, any contact and you’ll just be blocked, save your breath coz you’ve got no chance! If we want single guys we’ll come looking!!!!"
So wow. Just wow I had the audacity to land on their profile at some point and got blocked for it.
One profile I saw recently said we won't meet with Tories. I mean who discusses their political leanings on a meet up? Surely, it's about nice, easy going chat!
Quote by Gts
One profile I saw recently said we won't meet with Tories. I mean who discusses their political leanings on a meet up? Surely, it's about nice, easy going chat!
If people do not went to meet and have fun, then they should not join the site. I am on the site to meet people and have sex, but the chances are slim to say the least.
This topic has been covered here so many times but essentially it comes down to the volume of messages females and couples get. Just clicking on a profile or image often results in a message from that person. If it just so happens that they don't meet your requirements for some reason(s), then you are suddenly expected to explain and this all too often results in arguments and even abuse. The easy way to avoid this is to just block those people you stumble upon who aren't your thing for whatever reason - and there are many possible reasons for that. It's not inteneded as a personal insult, just a means by which to avoid having to enter into a debate about your decision. Every day we get messages from all sorts of guys who haven't even read our profile to find out anything about us and what we're actually looking for. If they'd even bothered to read the first few lines they might not have bothered but they send us their often cut and paste messages and a good many get the hump when we don't respond or when we do, because we tell them we're not a good match. That's our choice isn't it? You know, whether or not we want to meet somone. Contrary to some opinions, this is not a sex site in which everyone just wants as much random action with as many people as possible and a quick right swipe is all you need. People are here for many different reasons and we know exactly what sorts of guy suit our needs and those who don't. If we spent our limited time here explaining all that to every guy who sent us a message having entirely ignored our profile we wouldn't have time for anything else. If you haven't had any contact with someone but been blocked, the reason is that they've checked you out, didn't think you were the right person for whatever reason and don't want to have to discuss it, argue about it or justify it. We'd never ask someone why they didn't want to meet us. It's just their choice so move on without taking offence. If you've had no previous contact it can't be anything you've said/done to them so it's likely just due to the impression your profile conveys and that might be a good place to start looking for answers as to why you're not getting the response you think you deserve.
That's a detailed reply.
Could I just say though I didn't interact with them.
That's it. If people block on sight, it's unfair and suggests that the person being blocked is a problem. If everyone starts doing it, people could get banned.... And for what? Not being someone's criteria?
That's not really what the block button is for.
The block button is for people to use as they see fit.
The only person that knows if a certain person or couple have blocked them is the person that's blocked.
So how would it suggest to others that he/she/they are a problem?
Hence why one of the site rules is please do not ask why you have been blocked.
People do not get banned for being blocked or for blocking others.
Quote by Gts
Does anyone find it a bit odd to be blocked by someone who you've never interacted with?? In my home screen, where you can see who has visited your profile, I clicked to return the view only to find I'm blocked and warned against harassment.
Seems a little harsh, especially since I don't recall having visited them first! Some people are strange.
I have had the same problem and was blocked by friends. They asked me why I no longer commented on their photos. I never questioned them at the time, but when asked I informed them that it appeared they had blocked me which they say they never.
Quote by Gts
Does anyone find it a bit odd to be blocked by someone who you've never interacted with?? In my home screen, where you can see who has visited your profile, I clicked to return the view only to find I'm blocked and warned against harassment.
Seems a little harsh, especially since I don't recall having visited them first! Some people are strange.
Of course it's strange! I can totally see why someone would block someone else if there had been unwanted messages etc but to block someone for just looking at your profile, especially when they looked at yours first is simply a lack of manners/breeding.
Quote by marcusb
Of course it's strange! I can totally see why someone would block someone else if there had been unwanted messages etc but to block someone for just looking at your profile, especially when they looked at yours first is simply a lack of manners/breeding.
So what would you suggest we do if we check a profile, say, which we then don't feel is right for us having read it? Just leave it? Ok so we leave it and then we get a message of interest from that person. What do we do then? Just ignore it? Isn't that being rude? Maybe we should reply then? In either of those 2 scenarios you often then tend to get messages back asking why or questioning the reasons you've given. What do we do then? At what point is enough enough? Why should we go through all that just because we clicked on a profile of someone who we discovered doesn't match what we're looking for? How many messages do you get a day/month/year and how long do you think it takes to have to do this time and time again because guys don't follow the basic site advice which is to read profiles and accept that a no reply is to be taken as a polite 'thanks but we're not interested' and shouldn't be questioned or argued about? We've lost count of the number of times guys we've politely turned down have argued about our reasons or tried to push us into changing our minds. Blocking people who aren't a good match at the start saves all that and so we will continue to do just that. We've made all this clear and yet still get guys doing exactly what I've just described because either they haven't even bothered to read our profile or have just decided to ignore it. We don't owe such people a response and don't provide one any more than we'd question someone who turned us down or blocked us.
In less words.
It's a matter of choice what any member does with the block button.
This is supposed to be an Adult site, just accept that there is a reason for the block, however vague or wrong you think it is.
Then move on.
Easy really
Our profile clearly states that we're only looking for a straight guy who can accommodate us close to where we live in N'Kent/SE London because our time is very limited. So today we get this in chat from a perfectly nice polite guy who is bisexual but hadn't bothered to read our profile and then pretended he had before finding out he'd wasted everyone's time. His name has been replaced with ???? because the aim here is just to show what couples and females in particular have to deal with here and why we often wind up blocking people just to save time.
hi ???? here
osemlover - hello
???? - how are you
osemlover - ok tks how are you?
???? - i am good ty are you looking for a guy to play with
osemlover - I am only looking for a guy lol
osemlover - the right guy who matches our profile
???? - cool i like to be that guy how can i plz you
osemlover - you need to read our profile first to see
???? - i have but there a lot on there
???? - are you looking for a guy who like to plz you both ?
osemlover - yes there is but the key parts are in the first few lines
???? - ok had a look we may be ok to have some fun
osemlover - ok so what are you looking for?
???? - i like to plz you both if that ok with you both
???? - i have a hotel booked in sale like to meet up see how get on
osemlover - Sale?
???? - yes manchester
osemlover - We are in Kent lol
???? - o sorry x
osemlover - We can't travel all that way sorry.
???? - sorry x
osemlover - That's why we like people to read our profile ;)
???? - sorry x
???? - i can come to you tho x
osemlover - we can't accommodate and only looking for straight guys sorry.
???? ...
The problem here is that most guys who complain about being blocked or ignored here don't have this problem. They aren't bombarded with messages. Females and couples are however and it soon becomes highly tedious and annoying. Is it too much to ask that people read our profile before telling us they're a good match? Is it too much to expect them to be honest? Who's being rude, lazy or impolite here? The person who ignores the profile then lies/makes excuses about having done so or the recipient who took the time to explain exactly what they're looking for and yet is faced with loads of messages just like the one above despite doing so?
Guys, please understand that sites like this are full of men looking for quick easy sex. They're not full of females and couples who are equally desperate for the same thing. If you want to find a female/couple, the best thing to do is to produce a decent, honest, profile for yourself and, before you contact anyone, read and digest their profile to see if they are actually looking for what you're offering. Obvious isn't it? If they clearly aren't, what's the point in contacting them? If they want a tall, straight guy in London and you're a short bi guy in Glasgow, why bother? Maybe you think everyone deserves respect and they'll make allowances? Well yes that could be so but this is about personal choice and if they want steak and chips for dinner, don't expect to woo them with tofu and beanshoots - find people who like tofu!
Don't anyone try to turn this into an anti-guy rant. It's not that at all. It's a serious comment about those who can't be bothered to read profiles or put effort into this site but expect results and whinge when they're not forthcoming. Those who spend their time randomly contacting all manner of people who aren't looking for what they're offering and they have no chance of ever meeting. People who then wind up moaning about how they don't get the response they think they deserve and claiming that females/couples are arrogant/rude/obnoxious etc for ignoring them. You get what you put into this site and we've met some really nice guys here over the years. They were all guys who put the effort in...
@osemlover you might want to edit the conversation you pasted, it still has two mentions of the other person involved in it. 😉
Quote by persuasion22
@osemlover you might want to edit the conversation you pasted, it still has two mentions of the other person involved in it. 😉
Thanks so much for pointing that out. 
Our aim was not to embarrass the sender who was polite throughout our exchange and for whom we have no animosity at all. He didn't argue about it or become abusive so well done to him. :) It was merely to educate all those people who wonder why they've been ignored and/or get upset about it. It comes down to the amount of times stuff like this happens and if it was happening to them all the time I dare say they'd get fed up with it too. We don't access this site via a mobile device so have no idea whether or not doing so makes accessing profiles harder or even impossible. If it does then that might account for some of the problems, however if you're going to send a message to someone blind as it were, why say you've read their profile? Why not just say from the outset that you haven't done so and accept that the recipient probably won't reply simply because you don't match what they're looking for? Our profile clearly states what we do/don't want and the limitations we're goverened by and have no control over (time and distance). If we check a profile, say, after having read a message but we see the sender doesn't match our requirements for whatever reason, we're not going to write a detailed explanation to them. If they'd bothered to read our profile, they'd have seen all this explained and would realise the reason(s) why.
Unless you've had an interaction with someone, it can't be anything you've said/done to them that has caused you to be blocked or ignored. The reason is that you don't match their requirements well enough or your profile is offputting to them in some way and they don't want to explain or maybe even have to argue about it. Remember they don't owe you anything. Just accept it and move on but maybe also review the impression your profile is creating and see whether it reflects you accurately and is likely to be appealing to many people here or not. If it's virtually empty because you can't be bothered to write something about yourself, why would you expect anyone to respond? If you've been here years yet it still says you're a newbie, what message does that convey? If your pics are 10 years old what impression does that create? If it's full of cock shots, extreme activities and/or crude language, don't expect people who are put off by that sort of thing to reply. If you're into bareback gangbangs, don't expect people who only want safe 1 on 1 sex to reply. It's not that difficult is it really? Guys far outnumber women and m/f couples here and those who get the best results do so because they put the effort into their profiles and target those who are the most likely to want what they're offering.
Most of the guys who complain about being ignored/blocked have virtually empty profiles even when they've been site members for years. Despite having failed miserably for years they still don't see any reason to change their approach and put some effort in. What sort of mindset is that? If they spent half as much time on their profiles as they do questioning being ignored/blocked they'd get far better results but I guess typing out a paragraph or two by way of a bio is all too much. After all this is just a sex site and all women/couples really want is as many anonymous cocks as they can get hold of as frequently as possible...
No wonder females/couples people click and walk on by eh?
Quote by suzyTV
And then, you are unable to block them back, which is very strange. Personally, I think anyone who blocks me should be blocked from anything and everything to do with me. I'd rather not know, frankly.
You can actually "block them back as you say"
simply by copying their username and adding it manually to your block list
So, more thoughts on this - ok, fine block me without interaction. I accept any user can do the blocking if they so wish - it's the warning against harassment when I haven't do anything wrong! that I quite dislike.
Quote by Gts
So, more thoughts on this - ok, fine block me without interaction. I accept any user can do the blocking if they so wish - it's the warning against harassment when I haven't do anything wrong! that I quite dislike.
I think you're conflating different things here. It's just a short general warning to those who would/could try to argue or circumvent blocking and start harassing people. It's not a statement to the effect that everyone who gets blocked has actually done something wrong. I would agree it could be worded better to make clear that there are several reasons why people may be blocked and it doesn't imply wrongdoing. For example, that person/couple may just not being suitable. You clearly don't do this, but you must understand that many guys here do question refusals or rejection and then even argue or get rude about it. Some even start sending messages and making demands if you happen to just view their profile or an image but don't take things any further. If that ever does happen to you, I bet it's not often. On the other hand, it's a very common experience for females and couples here and it's not very nice. That's why they might tend to just block people they've looked at but who've turned out to be unsuitable or unappealing for some reason(s). It's really not implying they've done anything wrong, just that they don't fit the bill. It's best not to overthink this. It's not like you being blocked by someone appears like some black mark on top of your public profile is it? It's not recorded in the site's black book of people to be worried about. Only you and they will know you've been blocked so why choose to worry about it or why they did it? Just accept they took a look, didn't feel you were a good match for whatever reason and moved on not wanting to trouble you further or be faced with having to explain their reasoning.
Quote by Gts
So, more thoughts on this - ok, fine block me without interaction. I accept any user can do the blocking if they so wish - it's the warning against harassment when I haven't do anything wrong! that I quite dislike.
This is happening to me more and more these days and I am convinced there is something wrong with the system, or admin are doing it for whatever reason. I have been on SH for many years and until recently have never been blocked by anyone. All of a sudden there is several profiles blocking me 🤔
It’s an option available to
Members to use as they see fit, don’t feel judged Quote by Gts
Does anyone find it a bit odd to be blocked by someone who you've never interacted with?? In my home screen, where you can see who has visited your profile, I clicked to return the view only to find I'm blocked and warned against harassment.
Seems a little harsh, especially since I don't recall having visited them first! Some people are strange.
Quote by OnandOff
The "harassment " message is a generic message that everyone see when they try and view a profile who has blocked them.
People block people for their own reasons,might seem odd but it's called freedom of choice.
If someone blocks me I just block them right back. I would only block someone if they were being a nuisance and repeat messaging in a nuisance kind of way, when I had had no interaction with them or if they were rude, disrespectful or overly pushy. It seems that there are some couples and even the occasional single guy who block because they have eliminated that couple or person from their search. From my experience where there is no or very little interaction on your part or they seem friendly and suddenly turn on you for no good reason whatsoever, it seems some just have an overinflated opinion of themselves if you ask me. My advice is just block em right on back.
Quote by Woohoo
The "harassment " message is a generic message that everyone see when they try and view a profile who has blocked them.
People block people for their own reasons,might seem odd but it's called freedom of choice.
And right there is the problem - A Generic Message about harassment, when you haven't done anything wrong - it matters.
We were blocked by a couple and we hadn't even looked at their profile let alone interacted with them. So it's not just single guys who get blocked
Quote by Gts
And right there is the problem - A Generic Message about harassment, when you haven't done anything wrong - it matters.
The Generic message is required in a surprising number of cases- you’d be surprised that a few peoples reaction to being blocked is to get riled and demand answers from the blocker, which I’m sure you’ll agree defeats the object of blocking.
I’d ask you to look at the message including a comment about avoiding harassment is nothing more than a reminder. Just like a speed limit sign reminds you of the speed limit, reminding you of it does suggest you’re breaking the rules, just reminding you what they are.
Quote by York6677
We were blocked by a couple and we hadn't even looked at their profile let alone interacted with them. So it's not just single guys who get blocked
This is what I was trying to explain. I think there is something wrong with the system.
Quote by Lapua
The Generic message is required in a surprising number of cases- you’d be surprised that a few peoples reaction to being blocked is to get riled and demand answers from the blocker, which I’m sure you’ll agree defeats the object of blocking.
I’d ask you to look at the message including a comment about avoiding harassment is nothing more than a reminder. Just like a speed limit sign reminds you of the speed limit, reminding you of it does suggest you’re breaking the rules, just reminding you what they are.
Could the message be softened maybe? Harassment is a serious issue, but not everyone who gets blocked is guilty of it. The message does imply the blocked user is a harasser.
There has to be a middle ground?
Quote by Gts
And right there is the problem - A Generic Message about harassment, when you haven't done anything wrong - it matters.
Correction - a generic message advising members to avoid doing something which MAY be considered harassment according to the site's rules. It's not a message which states you've been engaged in anything wrong.
We are all adults on this site,so why are some people throwing the dummy out for a trivial thing,like being blocked.
As ive said before,its freedom of choice,which is every human being's right.
Move on, grow up and pick yourself/selves up. there are thousands of others who haven't blocked you.
