Bog roll

Fav bog roll

22 Mar 2005

It never ceases to amaze me how far companies will go to make you part with your money. As good example of consumerism going to extremes we don't need to go too far. Just go to your local supermarket and you'll see toilet paper with added Aloe Vera and Vitamin E!
Eh? Who in the world uses a toilet paper loaded with vitamins? Is this taken vanity a bit too much? OK you may have a nice arse (and sphincter perhaps?) but if you want vitamins on your arse surely you'd buy a cream? Or am I missing something here?
So what's your favourite bog roll then? and are you the one who uses vitamin loaded bog rolls? Personally I make do with old copies of The Sun (it's shit anyway!)
rotflmao

22 Mar 2005

I voted Andrex biggrin

My household is a mix though... If I do the loo roll shop it's always Andrex! If Mr CC does the shop it's what evers on offer at the time, he likes his bogof and 12 for the price of 9.

22 Mar 2005

Nouvelle (so I voted 'sandpaper) the recycled stuff. I mean FFS, I do not want to wipe my bum with a kitten, a puppy or a bear.
Aloe vera? Gimme a break! We are talking about the removal of shit from your arse, not preparing ones decolletage for parading on prom night.

22 Mar 2005

Quote by Vix
Nouvelle (so I voted 'sandpaper) the recycled stuff. I mean FFS, I do not want to wipe my bum with a kitten, a puppy or a bear.
Aloe vera? Gimme a break! We are talking about the removal of shit from your arse, not preparing ones decolletage for parading on prom night.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

22 Mar 2005

we use charmin...never heard of charming paper ;)

22 Mar 2005

So THAT`S what bog roll is for.... redface

ops: :oops:
Venusxxx

22 Mar 2005

Now where can you get the toilet paper we used at school......the shiny grease paper stuff didn't wipe your arse it just smeared it.!

22 Mar 2005

Tesco own brand redface

- but we do get the luxury stuff, not the cheapest.
Mind you, with 4 women in the house, all using the stuff for a wide variety of hygiene and cosmetic uses (and probably a few uses that I couldn't possibly imagine :shock: ) the loo roll holders frequently suffer from overheating and jam up!
lhk
Kat

22 Mar 2005

Quote by Vix
Nouvelle (so I voted 'sandpaper) the recycled stuff. I mean FFS, I do not want to wipe my bum with a kitten, a puppy or a bear.
Aloe vera? Gimme a break! We are talking about the removal of shit from your arse, not preparing ones decolletage for parading on prom night.

No seriously the Aloe Vera does remove a lot more shit from your ass a lot easier, honstly.
I like the embossed type and it has to be white, non of that coloured rubbish

22 Mar 2005

the bog rolls in the USA are crap or for crap hahah what was I saying yes crap you fingers go right through. :taz:

22 Mar 2005

I cant vote on this one.
I buy which ever has an offer on when I need it. BOGOF, 12 rolls for price of 9.
that sort of thingymebob. currently using Charmin.

22 Mar 2005

To be honest I use the Aloe Vera stuff for the simple reason that little tiny bits of bog roll dont get stuck and need picking out when Steve goes down on me redface

:shock:

22 Mar 2005

I have been using ASDA's own brand for sometime, Shades it's called, I tried that Charmine, but that fell into the Sand Paper section, sorry I can't spell catogorey, but am erring towards this Hello Vera stuff myself.
John
wink

22 Mar 2005

You don't have a "rubbed to soften newspaper" choice and I still have the print on my ass confused

23 Mar 2005

Quote by Vix
Aloe vera? Gimme a break! We are talking about the removal of shit from your arse, not preparing ones decolletage for parading on prom night.

my point exactly! :rotflmao:

23 Mar 2005

Quote by da69ve
Now where can you get the toilet paper we used at school......the shiny grease paper stuff didn't wipe your arse it just smeared it.!

very true but the other side of that paper is not as shiny so it doesn't smear as much ;)

23 Mar 2005

Use Charmin at the moment. Not fussy though, as long as it does its job and I don't get brown fingers because it rips.....
I remember Izal well, used to be the only bog roll that gave you paper cuts on the arse, and left you with brown legs when your hand skidded off after every wipe!!!
Still see it for sale too, there must be some real masochists about!
On a slightly different note, is it just me that gets pissed off when I'm at work......?
There you are, sat on the loo, and there's the box on the wall with the bog paper in it. Not a roll, but one with a stack of square pieces, you pull out and it pulls the next one out etc....
Until you get to the end of one stack, and the cleaner's added another stack, and it doesn't pull out..... So you're there with your fingers stuck in the box, and end up having to pull half the stack of squares out..... What knobber thought of that idea then?
Rick! biggrin

23 Mar 2005

We pretty much use whatever is on offer but I must confess to keeping baby wipes next to the toilet to make sure the job is done squeeky clean. biggrin

23 Mar 2005

Quote by RickRoper
On a slightly different note, is it just me that gets pissed off when I'm at work......?

ahhh you're clever!!! - it's always a good idea to poo at work, not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it
biggrin

23 Mar 2005

charmin. not that i need the extra layer......but it's nice to know it's there lol

:lol:

23 Mar 2005

Quote by da69ve
Now where can you get the toilet paper we used at school......the shiny grease paper stuff didn't wipe your arse it just smeared it.!

I know it well, we had it at work but ours had "Government Property - now wash your hands" printed on every sheet. :shock:
It would have been more useful if they had printed crosswords on it. smile

23 Mar 2005

Quote by Badger
Now where can you get the toilet paper we used at school......the shiny grease paper stuff didn't wipe your arse it just smeared it.!

I know it well, we had it at work but ours had "Government Property - now wash your hands" printed on every sheet. :shock:
It would have been more useful if they had printed crosswords on it. smile

Well you can get novelty crossword toilet......but it's so expensive......you wouldn't wipe your arse with it!

23 Mar 2005

Quote by da69ve
Now where can you get the toilet paper we used at school......the shiny grease paper stuff didn't wipe your arse it just smeared it.!

I know it well, we had it at work but ours had "Government Property - now wash your hands" printed on every sheet. :shock:
It would have been more useful if they had printed crosswords on it. smile

Well you can get novelty crossword toilet......but it's so expensive......you wouldn't wipe your arse with it!
How do you know when you've got it right? Do you have to go back to the shop the following week to buy a roll with the answers on it?

24 Mar 2005

RickRoper's comments about pooing at work reminded me of this email I got ages ago (it's amazing all the crap I have in my inbox!!) biggrin

How to poo...at work!!
This is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work...
CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not
in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it
came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full
fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell
has left your pants.
FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing.
Walk in and check for other pooers.
If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be
careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious
if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a
poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of
embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.
Pretend it did not happen.
If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it.
No one likes an escapee.
It is uncomfortable for all involved.
Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK
When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This
is usually a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. If this should
happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the
bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water.
This reduces the amount of air time the poo has to stink up the
bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just
stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if
someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend
that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER
A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it.
You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroom with
a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the
office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.
THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooing
goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the
whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least
expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite
sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the
bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realise that you are in the stall and tries to
force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable
moments that can occur when taking a poo at work.
If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves.
This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH
A phoney cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you
are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert
potential Turd Burglars.
Very effective when used inconjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that
you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall
is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so
the pooer can poo in peace.
WATERMELON
A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This
is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on,
create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELETTE
A case of diarrhoea that creates series of loud splashes in the toilet
water. Often accompanied by an Escapee.
Try using Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting
on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the
crapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty.
This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.