Chat up lines

16 Jul 2004

As the weekend is upon us and all the girls are thinking about their nights out on the town, skimpy gear now summer's here (well maybe not THIS weekend!), the subject of chat up lines came up today.
So here's a good idea for a thread - what are the best/worst/most outrageous lines girls have heard, guys have used, etc.
I'll start the ball rolling with one we heard off theTV
(that someone has actually had used on her on occassion)
"You remind me of a parking ticket -coz you got "fine" written all over you"
Any more?
Rachel
wink

16 Jul 2004

The old classic...
Get yer coat, luv - you've pulled!

16 Jul 2004

"I don't want to fight you, I just want a fuck" :shock: :shock: :shock:

16 Jul 2004

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns

16 Jul 2004

You must be knackered.....
You've been running through my mind all night

16 Jul 2004

Do you like fruit? Suck this its a fucking peach

16 Jul 2004

Posted this before but its so good I'll do it again

16 Jul 2004

I like this one:

Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!

16 Jul 2004

HI, do you know that because you're here heaven is missing an angel.
or
OK OK IF YOU STOP SCREAMING I'LL PUT THE KNIFE DOWN, BUT I CANT TAKE THE MASK OFF evil

er

16 Jul 2004

16 Jul 2004

Quote by corriefem
Fancy being dumped in the morning :twisted: :twisted:

at what point do you add "in a skip" ?

16 Jul 2004

Had some great chat up lines .... one that always worked ....
Pick a tall guy ..... make sure he's single (!) and ask if he knows what a pole dancer is! If he says yes .... the follow up line is (dancing very close and provocatively) "wanna provide the pole?"
If he says no ........ again dancing close and provocatively ..... want me to show you ? we just need to work on the pole .......
got me a drink each and every time redface

:twisted:

16 Jul 2004

Given the age group we are in something along the lines of..............
'would you like a slice of cake with that tea' works well

16 Jul 2004

Glass of sherry before lunch... :twisted:

16 Jul 2004

True british army style:
"........Fancy a smash?........." :twisted:

17 Jul 2004

If I said you had a beautiful body could I come all over your tits and rub it in ??

17 Jul 2004

Oi Judy_TV !!!!!! lol

17 Jul 2004

"Did you break anything when you fell from heaven"
That's sick-making if you ask me, unless of course it was Swinging Heaven lol

:lol: :lol:

17 Jul 2004

Quote by corriefem
Given the age group we are in something along the lines of..............
'would you like a slice of cake with that tea' works well

Davej that would make me really vomit if someone used that on me lol
Corrie thats because you are young enough not to have your meets at the age concern whist drive afternoons but we are nearing the generation that has that 'piss and biscuits' whiff and I can assure you that a Battenburg becomes a very seductive food.

17 Jul 2004

Whilst at a pub with an ex, some drunken guy came over quite oblivious of me & came straight out with:
"Do you spit or swallow" to my female companion.
She replied "Neither I GARGLE".
At which point he went back to his mates totally dumb struck.

17 Jul 2004

Some Classics but come on people its 2004 i like the ones that get straight to the point! lol. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
To list but a few.......
a)Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
b)Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
c)Fancy a fuck? (Old Faithful)
d)I want to thank you for a lovelly evening,.....grab your ankles!!
e)M:-Hey! Wanna play war?
F:-WHAT?
M:-Yeah, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
I could go on but they'de just get silly and probably offensive so i'll stop there!
I might ad more at a later date.

17 Jul 2004

The word of the day is legs
lets go out and spread the word.
Its never worked but they never do

17 Jul 2004

One of the worst ones i've EVER heard has to be.... "Whats your sign??"
theres so many put downs to it its unbelievable!!

17 Jul 2004

"You know, I bet you're an incredible lover"
High risk, but it worked biggrin

CM

17 Jul 2004

Even higher risk - I haven't had the guts to try this one out yet -
"Excuse me, but I'm two girls short of a threesome at the moment, I was wondering if you could help out."
CM (experiencing a moment of puerile joy on realising this is his 69th post)

17 Jul 2004

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

17 Jul 2004

Quote by -dean-
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

I can see that one working in the right situation with the right delivery too!
Direct and to the point is SO much better than cheesy shit that everyone's heard before that's just begging for a comeback like:
"Can I buy you a drink"
"No thanks, I'd rather have the cash"
CM

17 Jul 2004

Quote by Calista
Had some great chat up lines .... one that always worked ....
Pick a tall guy ..... make sure he's single (!) and ask if he knows what a pole dancer is! If he says yes .... the follow up line is (dancing very close and provocatively) "wanna provide the pole?"
If he says no ........ again dancing close and provocatively ..... want me to show you ? we just need to work on the pole .......
got me a drink each and every time :twisted:

You mean there are guys who say 'NO' to an invitation like that!??!