someone talks to you RWL? :shock: blimey
RWL
You missed off the list:-
Good at humping
:giggle:
Speaking from the point of someone fairly shiny new to all of this, to be honest it can be a little daunting speaking out, especially on forums. There's a lot of you out there that know so much about the scene, know each other, chat and laugh in the forums with each other, and can generally seen to be having a very good time.
It's nice to see, don't get me wrong, but as a new person here, wanting to step up to the plate and say hi, it can be a little intimidating, much the same as going into a pub full of people on your own, as has been mentioned. Do you sit and listen to the conversations (or read the threads as in the case of the forums) and keep quiet until someone speaks to you (unfortunately not going to happen on forums because of the way they are) or do you just leap in with both feet, take the plunge and speak? On forums it has to be the latter, and while I'm not backward in coming forward once I know people, or at least have spoken to them before, the first time is very much a case of "what if they don't like me? What if they think I'm talking a load of old whatsits?"
Forums and chat by their very nature get cliquey, because some people you click with and get on with, others you don't. I like forums because of the wide ranging topics that get discussed, and believe me, I've read a fair few even though I've not been here that long. I've been tempted to post, but forum posts tend to be a bit longer lasting than chat (by a long way) and if you make a total fool of yourself, it's there for all to see for however long the post is there. First impressions are unfortunately quite long lasting, and I personally don't want to make a bad one (although I'm rambling on and having a fairly good go at it here!)
I find chat easier in some respects, and have signed up to go to a chat social (advertised on LMU) simply because I've been talking to the people and wouldn't feel like I was walking into a room full of strangers. The fact that they are mostly local to me as well means there is more probability of meeting up again in the future after meeting them in a small(ish) group somewhere that's not too far from home should I feel uncomfortable (although I doubt that will happen, since the group are very welcoming and I feel right at home with them already).
Munches are a much bigger deal for someone in my situation, new to everything, and a name that most people don't see on a regular basis. I prefer to have the comfort zone of at least one prson I know anywhere I go, on the grounds that if I'm feeling too timid (yes I am sometimes quite a shy person, especially with the unknown factor) to join in, then at least there will be someone who I can talk to and can introduce me to others. I expect munch attendance will come with time.
For chatters like me (and no I don't get them out on cam!) the whole "drop in, say hi, drop out if you don't like the way the room is going" is easier to deal with than the more daunting forums. If you find the right room to be in, the people are warm, friendly, and I've been looked after in my first few days. I was very "Ooooh no. Thanks but no thanks" when I was first asked about the social, but after a couple of days, I couldn't resist meeting the people I've been having such a laugh with.
Perhaps with more posts on the forums, I will feel the same about the munches. They're still big scary things to me right now, as I don't know what's expected of me, not having read up on them too much. It's something I will get to in time with my forum browsing though, and I'm sure there are plenty of people who will put my mind at rest too.
For now though, smaller is better as this new (and very inexperienced) swinger joins the ranks.
CarmelaDeA
having known you for a few years, i know full well that while you feel its a daunting prospect, you will be fine in any munch/social situation that you find yourself
but only you will know at what pace you find comfortable, perhaps it might be an idea that if you go to an event, pick one person you get on with (or couple for that matter) explain your hesitance, and ask if they can be a handholder
i have seen this at munches, and its surprising how soon the people feel comfortable
but as i said, take it all at your pace, but most of all, make sure you enjoy yourself
you know where to find me xxx
Blimey so many posts since i was last here.
Some of the following has mostly been said but heres my view
Right i have yet to attend any socials or munches but now have my name down for a few. When i came here i went no where near the forums and used the chatrooms exclusively once i realised what a struggle i had in chat most of the time i came and looked in on the forum and started posting. Now im moving more and more back to the chatrooms as i start to be able to handle it better especially in the rooms i use most one being the forum room.
My ideal would be able to use both.
One thing i have noticed is chat users of specific rooms arrange social engagements within the room and forum users tend to arrange more munches though this is not exclusive. The one event mentioned where most of the attendees are new or relatively new to the forum as i see it was originaly intended to be a smaller event until one user had the notion this could be a greater event and thus was opened up. The organisers of this event have not done anything on this scale before. Also this room is local to a well known club and tends to be a focus for the rooms activity with some of the users. I dont see any bigger issue than the fact some people prefer chat and some prefer the forum and thus use their prefered method to organise the events.
In other words there is no divide but more a preference of a meathod to organise their swinging activity.
I see it like we are all using the same recreation building, some people enjoy a certain 'club' in one room and other people enjoy what's going on in another room. Some groups arrange their social outings in one way and other groups prefer a different approach. Who cares????????????
If I attempt to enter one 'area' where I think I may have fun and I'm given the impression I'm not welcome then sod 'em, your loss. Sometimes I go into chat, sometimes I look at the adverts and yes I spend time in the forum, I don't see why I should pick one or the other like it's a team.
And one last point if I may - so many people have been suggesting that all new faces in the forum get flamed or picked apart for fun, when actually anyone who is polite and displays general good manners is welcomed.
nice post.
I shall join in more in future, and you never know, a munch may not be as far off as once thought...
:beer:
