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Cheating

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If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks
I would say this was cheating.
Although we both have permision to play alone, we would never do anything without the other person being involved with the planning and being happy with the whole situation. If one of us aint happy then it doesn't happen.
Yeh I would say that's defo cheating in my eyes ... But what I don't understand is, why people need to in this life style?
Difficult one this if you scratch the surface...
Some people play as a "couple" but are not actually "together" as a couple, if you see what I mean.
The term Fuck Buddies comes to mind as well as those for whom being a couple is a convenience rather than them actually living together and being a "couple" in the truest sense.
In those circumstances, either might feel that they have an open licence to do as they please...
It depends on how the couple play. But if the couple have agreed that they never play alone or only with consent then the incident is a breach of trust but if they havent then it becomes a grey area.
Minx and I have slowly changed our limits and behaviours over time, strict rules and protocols were simply too inhibiting.
We now work on the basis that neither of us will do anything to intentionally hurt the other.
In the event that either of us feels hurt then we have agreed to bring it up and discuss it as soon as we can.
This gives us both a fair amount of freedom in terms of how and when we play.
So if minx stumbles upon a girlie pile in a club she can jump in without any worries about that not being on our list of agreed activities and having to track me down. Equally if a swinging friend pops round for a cuppa and fancies a tumble I dont have to phone minx for permission.
Since we started to play this way we haven't had any problems.
I'd say it is cheating. My view is that honesty and open-ness at all times between a couple is paramount. If the couple are only swing partners then I guess other 'rules' may apply - I'll wait for someone better qualified on that score to come along
Hubby knows I am on here in my own right, and he knows any arrangements I make - who, where, when .......... he doesn't get to hear about "what" tho wink
I also know that he has met others - like the saying goes ... what's good for the goose is good for the gander
I do agree with Ben when he says about freedom to play in a club on our own, hubby is happy for me to join in with other women, just as I have no worries about him joining in with others
it works for us lol
we play as a cpl n dont meet as a single, we made the rule long time ago n have kept to it.
so yes that would be cheating....the idea of a sex site is u both have fun, or just one if u both agree
Quote by boltoncouple68
If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks

You don't say why you're asking, but I hope it's not to garner evidence/support for a personal dispute? What others say is based on their own relationships, feelings, and agreements. It shouldn't be taken as a prescription to fit all situations.
That said, I'm voting for cheating! ;-)
If or when you do something that is against your partners wishes or that you know will hurt their feelings then thats cheating.
It wouldn't come under our definition of swinging
Dave_Notts
Quote by boltoncouple68
If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks

if he's all alone its wanking lol
I say yes its classed as cheating definatley. That is if your together meaning married or together as a couple (bf/gf) and you have agreed to play as a couple, then yes going off and playing solo would to me be dis honest.
On the other hand, if your just a SH playing couple fuck buddies then surely your free to play with who ever. The thing with swinging is you have to separate lust and love
Quote by wild rose and the stag
If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks

if he's all alone its wanking lol
a very sexist assumption smackbottom
Quote by boltoncouple68
If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks

what can posibly make you think for a second that this is not cheeting?
i hope that if anyone does do this then they get caught as it is not a nice thing to do at all not at all.
Quote by Lizaleanrob
If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks

if he's all alone its wanking lol
a very sexist assumption smackbottom
good point, well made. flog me
please
Yes....but you already know that.
Doing anything behind your partners back of a sexualnature is cheating
R & W
Quote by 2_Roses
Doing anything behind your partners back of a sexualnature is cheating
R & W

Not unless its doggy!!
My wife went off to a hotel with a bloke when it was only meant to be a social meeting, I was told nothing was going to happen. The first evidence of what was happening came in the form of a photo by txt of them in bed doing a sexual act. I went into shock and now on medication for depression. I have never felt so hurt in all my life.
If I had have known I would have stopped it, YES IT'S CHEATING...
Quote by Paul80
My wife went off to a hotel with a bloke when it was only meant to be a social meeting, I was told nothing was going to happen. The first evidence of what was happening came in the form of a photo by txt of them in bed doing a sexual act. I went into shock and now on medication for depression. I have never felt so hurt in all my life.
If I had have know I would have stopped it, YES IT'S CHEATING...

Very sorry to hear that Paul. What became of the relationship?
Thank you tweeky
We are still working it out, Rachel is in a low mood because of what happened and has lost time off work and knows she did wrong and feels very guilty about 'that' night. She lost the plot 'that' night because a man who simply over powered her, he took advantage of the situation, long story really but one she is writing about, so hopefully in the near future you can all read about it.
We would consider ourselves as experienced players so let me say to all you people, take care you are never sure of the out come and don't take it lightly.
Paul
Quote by boltoncouple68
If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks

what if the couple are not on here but the male half is and the wife has no idea that he swings (cheats) and he says openly he is married and going behind her back with people off here, is this right or wrong ? I personally thinks it's out of order on the wife and maybe kids at home. We would never knowingly meet a guy who is married with or with out his wifes permission.
Quote by willmeet
If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks

what if the couple are not on here but the male half is and the wife has no idea that he swings (cheats) and he says openly he is married and going behind her back with people off here, is this right or wrong ? I personally thinks it's out of order on the wife and maybe kids at home. We would never knowingly meet a guy who is married with or with out his wifes permission.
when i was a single woman i did meet married and attached guys but only with the partners consent, i wouldnt knowingly meet a guy who was attached and playing away, but thats the advantage of being on a site, you have a profile to look at, and as long as they are honest on it then its my choice as to is i meet them or not. at a club or party you do not have the benefit of a profile to view.. how many of us ask if they are attached to every guy they meet at a club or party, i know i dont! if i am honest i dont care at a club i am there for my benefit and have the comfort of knowing as a rule that they will either be there with partners permission or at the very least i wont be caught with them if the partner has no idea what is going on ... right or wrong of me thats also my choice.
i have sent/ given my permission for my partner to go to a club while i was not able to go through working or other factors and have been whispered and messaged in chat that he has gone because friends did not believe i would know that he has gone out without me. thanks to them for being concerned enough to tell me because if he had been out without my permission then i would want to know no matter how hurtful it would be
Quote by Paul80
Thank you tweeky
We are still working it out, Rachel is in a low mood because of what happened and has lost time off work and knows she did wrong and feels very guilty about 'that' night. She lost the plot 'that' night because a man who simply over powered her, he took advantage of the situation, long story really but one she is writing about, so hopefully in the near future you can all read about it.
We would consider ourselves as experienced players so let me say to all you people, take care you are never sure of the out come and don't take it lightly.
Paul

Hard times for you both Paul let me add to Tweeky by saying we're sorry that happened too. Sincerely hope you both come through t Ok and maybe, if you've not already thought about it, take some counselling together. You might think it strange to open up to someone about how you go about your private lives but it can seriously help you both out, especially as it sounds that you both are, as your suffering. You can get over this sort of thing and put it behind you and move forward, The more proactive you both are in finding help and ways of conciliation, understanding and forgiveness the better. the very best of luck to you both.
Quote by Lost
Hard times for you both Paul let me add to Tweeky by saying we're sorry that happened too. Sincerely hope you both come through t Ok and maybe, if you've not already thought about it, take some counselling together. You might think it strange to open up to someone about how you go about your private lives but it can seriously help you both out, especially as it sounds that you both are, as your suffering. You can get over this sort of thing and put it behind you and move forward, The more proactive you both are in finding help and ways of conciliation, understanding and forgiveness the better. the very best of luck to you both.

Wise words. :thumbup:
Very apt that you post in 'sage' green. ;-)
Thank you Lost
We are taking counseling, but not together, Rachel feels the need to go alone, she is having trouble trying to understand why she did what she did, and why she lost control of the situation. Its 2 months today that it happened and each friday I re-run the day in my head, it was such a long afternoon and night of worry I know it could take years to recover, thats if I ever recover. I want to get over this but post traumatic depression is one hell of a bad illness and I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
I just want to warn all you happily married couples, don’t let other men make you forget your rules of play.
Thanks again Lost
Paul
Some people offered some nice words of encouragement some time back on this thread, we both thank you for that. We would like to just update you on our progress since our last post. We are both much better now though not totally over it, we are both still on Citalopram and will be for a while. Rachel started a phased back to work program and I’m still to get back to work but feel that I can see a future now which for those people that have suffered depression can possibly understand the situation.
We have learnt a lot over the past months, we have talked with professionals about the possibility of misuse of drugs. It is possible that a drug could have been used however we can not prove such. It is however the only thing that even starts to make sense of what happened that day. All I can say is that it happens all the time and its possible its going on, on this site. I know a number of people will be saying “contact the police and SH admin” we have talked to some parties about this but without evidence we have little to offer to support this.
We are meeting people now again which is helping our recovery, “getting back on the bike” as so to say!
So all be careful when meeting people, keep an eye on your drink!
Have fun but be careful
Paul
Quote by boltoncouple68
If a couple are on here and play as a couple but then one person decides to play alone without telling or discussing it with their partner is it classed as cheating?
I would appreciated some unbiased answers please.
thanks

Yes, that's deffo cheating.