The very thought made me shudder!Think I'll stick to fantasy
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Club standards?
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This has been a really interesting thread. We have just made the decision to try swinging. We thought that the best bet would be to go to a club for our first experience (any tips, we are in North Oxfordshire?) and obviously are unsure about what to wear, what to do and what goes on. I suppose our main concerns are that people there will be too pushy or not what we are looking for and also that we dont want our first experience to be too intense ie blatant.
Are we right to go the club route or is there a better way?
Any help and tips much appreciated
Are we right to go the club route or is there a better way?
Any help and tips much appreciated
If I were starting out now, I'd be tempted to find a smaller club that does house parties. Big venues can be quite oppressive - lots and lots of people and lots of displays of sexual behaviour which can overwhelm you if you've never seen that kind of thing before.
At a smaller house party, you'll probably find people a little more reserved. It this gives you more scope to interact or to retreat to the kitchen... and you'll always find the more hesitant folks in the kitchen. In fact, some of my best mates I've met in kitchens or in the queue for the loo!
Swinging is a give and take thing... and if what you find at a party isn't what you want, walk out and try somewhere else. Don't feel oblidged to get involved in something that doesn't get you buzzing... there are so, so many groups and clubs springing up it won't be long before you find a good 'un.
Heatherxxx (Been swinging for 7 years and been to more swingers clubs than 'normal' ones!
)
At a smaller house party, you'll probably find people a little more reserved. It this gives you more scope to interact or to retreat to the kitchen... and you'll always find the more hesitant folks in the kitchen. In fact, some of my best mates I've met in kitchens or in the queue for the loo!
Swinging is a give and take thing... and if what you find at a party isn't what you want, walk out and try somewhere else. Don't feel oblidged to get involved in something that doesn't get you buzzing... there are so, so many groups and clubs springing up it won't be long before you find a good 'un.
Heatherxxx (Been swinging for 7 years and been to more swingers clubs than 'normal' ones!
) Hey,
Welcome to Owl and Papillon, gonna have trouble with that name when it gets shortened to OAP.
Kit and I are North Oxfordshire as well, and new, and going clubbing for our first experience. So much the same position as you. 8)
You have already taken the first, and some of the most difficult, steps by joining the forum, posting a message and MOST importantly, talking to each other about it.
Look on the clubs and parties link on the right to find local clubs. Go to the club link for more info. Especially, look at the La Chambre site, which has LOADS of information relevant to your questions. I am sure there are others just as good, that just happens to be the one that helped us.
Kit and I considered 3 options for our first active experience, go to a club, meet a couple for a social chat, go to an arranged party. You could also go dogging, meet a single bloke/woman, or a host of other variations on the theme.
We chose clubbing, because it allows us to walk in, and if we do not like it, walk out. Gives us the option to just make it up as we go along, if we end up sitting in the bar all night chatting to each other, fair do's, we enjoy each others company and will still have had a good night out.
Have a wander around the cafe, and a good read through some of the other strings, you will find a whole host of useful information, and lots of different perspectives and experience.
Bit wishy washy as advice goes - my top tip would actually be:
First, have a good look round the site, get to know the scene
-Talk about it
Second, decided which bits you like, and which bits you do not like
-Talk about it
Third, decide what YOU want
-Talk about it
Fourth, decide what you want to do about it.
If you make sure that you and your partner both understand your own, and each others needs, all the other decisions seem to sort of make themeselves.
And don't be worried about asking LOADS more questions.
lhk
Kat
Welcome to Owl and Papillon, gonna have trouble with that name when it gets shortened to OAP.
Kit and I are North Oxfordshire as well, and new, and going clubbing for our first experience. So much the same position as you. 8) You have already taken the first, and some of the most difficult, steps by joining the forum, posting a message and MOST importantly, talking to each other about it.
Look on the clubs and parties link on the right to find local clubs. Go to the club link for more info. Especially, look at the La Chambre site, which has LOADS of information relevant to your questions. I am sure there are others just as good, that just happens to be the one that helped us.
Kit and I considered 3 options for our first active experience, go to a club, meet a couple for a social chat, go to an arranged party. You could also go dogging, meet a single bloke/woman, or a host of other variations on the theme.
We chose clubbing, because it allows us to walk in, and if we do not like it, walk out. Gives us the option to just make it up as we go along, if we end up sitting in the bar all night chatting to each other, fair do's, we enjoy each others company and will still have had a good night out.
Have a wander around the cafe, and a good read through some of the other strings, you will find a whole host of useful information, and lots of different perspectives and experience.
Bit wishy washy as advice goes - my top tip would actually be:
First, have a good look round the site, get to know the scene
-Talk about it
Second, decided which bits you like, and which bits you do not like
-Talk about it
Third, decide what YOU want
-Talk about it
Fourth, decide what you want to do about it.
If you make sure that you and your partner both understand your own, and each others needs, all the other decisions seem to sort of make themeselves.
And don't be worried about asking LOADS more questions.
lhk
Kat
Mod
Morning OaP,
Nice to see new blood on the scene and prepared to join in the conversational threads. Although I have yet to go clubbing, I have found the info given on here to be great at setting people's mind at rest and allowing them the space to make a decision without overcommitting themselves. A bad experience can put you off for a long time, possibly completely, but hearing other peoples experiences, good and bad, helps. As they say, 'knowledge is power', therefore the more you know about the lifestyle, the more you will benefit and enjoy it, like so many other people have done before you.
Welcome to the Club!
Nice to see new blood on the scene and prepared to join in the conversational threads. Although I have yet to go clubbing, I have found the info given on here to be great at setting people's mind at rest and allowing them the space to make a decision without overcommitting themselves. A bad experience can put you off for a long time, possibly completely, but hearing other peoples experiences, good and bad, helps. As they say, 'knowledge is power', therefore the more you know about the lifestyle, the more you will benefit and enjoy it, like so many other people have done before you.
Welcome to the Club!
Sex God
Hi OAP!!!! I think Heather and KitKat have pretty much said everything, but just to add my bit. Have a read of the advice on clubs in the swinging and advice section, that might answer a few of your questions. Once you find a club that you think might be for you, go and have a look round. Most people just watch on their first night and that is fine - if you don't like it you can just leave, nothing lost except a few quid. My thought is however, that you've made it this far, and I think you will enjoy the rest! Come back and tell us all about it - we're nosey like that on here!
All this is very interesting but I am amazed that no one seems to go to the Continental clubs. Totally different to the UK version. Far more like a night out. Check out great disco, restaurant, top quality SPA cinema pool and amazing rooms. If you have always wanted to make love in a lift or a dungeon for that matter this is the place. No we don't own it we have just had some great times there. Acanthus is another good one. Happy to tell more if you PM me. Come on little Islanders get on the Eurostar and have some fun. It is 20 minutes quicker from 28th September!!!
Sex God
The continental clubs may be a whole load of fun, but a bit far to go for a regular shagging session
Sex God
I don't find it boring, and I have plenty of imagination, thanks. It's fine for people who travel a lot and if you have the time, and I'm sure the continental clubs are great, but personally I'm happy with my lot in life, and that includes British clubs. Sorry if that sounds boring
Come on little Islanders get on the Eurostar and have some fun
I do fun everytime I get out of bed in the morning. Spent too much of my life out of this country, , been there done that and choose not to do it again. I like it here but more importantly, I like the people here. Don't get me wrong, not that they are any better or worse than any others, just that they are most like me and I relax easiest amongst them.
Chose to come back here because, well, it was home.
lhk
Kat
Mod
Mark
My mother used to say that about clean undies. Do you think SHE was a secret swinger, cos she obviously knew about the bus hazards?
Mal
My mother used to say that about clean undies. Do you think SHE was a secret swinger, cos she obviously knew about the bus hazards?
Mal
