One thing that does worry me though is that the alternative reading of that paragraph is:I'm a sad git with no friends other than my computer.
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Critique Roger's Ad Response Technique
Roger, Your 'original' ad didn't really do anything outstanding for me but....................
PM me with the same type of language you wrote to Mal AND ...........
invest in a pair of white NEXT jersey boxer shorts
and you can watch my lips move anytime :twisted:
Kit
xxx
PS - Is that constructive enough??
PM me with the same type of language you wrote to Mal AND ...........
invest in a pair of white NEXT jersey boxer shorts
and you can watch my lips move anytime :twisted:
Kit
xxx
PS - Is that constructive enough??
Okay, thanks again for all the advice people. I guess if I were responding to that ad now, and taking all the advice on board, I'd write something like: 
(Copying the style of a cheap porno novel should work well because women buy these, right? Right? ...right?)
Okay, maybe it still needs a lot of work. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
Hello you sexy thing. When I first looked at your photograph I felt a fire rising in my chest, descending through my gut and flowing into my private zone, making it swell with passion and desire. My mouth watered at the thought of your HUGE JUICY TITS, your nipples swollen and straining to be chewed between my lips. I'm sure you would like to wrap your delicate fingers around my MASSIVE ENGORGED PENIS, cockhead drooling at the sight of your gorgeous body. I long to fasten my lips upon you and explore your every erogenous zone; I can feel my MAGIC MAN-BONE growing in my hand even as I type this. I'm sure your passion-flower of womanhood is responding too; when we meet, I'm going to open your petals one by one before I lick your pollen like a horny little bee. Then I can see myself buzzing even closer to you, my EXCITABLE TROUSER-TROUT finally finding your DRIPPING GASH. I'm going to bury my hands wrist-deep in your huge, well-coiffed hair and FUCK YOUR OOZING SLOT like the RANDY BITCH you are, holding hard onto your lucious locks. I'm going to use my ELEVEN FINGERS OF FUN to make you squirm all over the bed, then my tongue will strum your TASTY TWAT like a banjo. And finally, when we are both breathless and stinking of sweat, you'll be on your knees to receive my bounty, my MOLTEN MAN-GOLD, the quicksilver of my loins.
I meet all the criteria in your ad because I'm a man, 27, very tall and slim and gorgeous, I live in your area and I can't wait to see you. I'm looking for fun intimate friendships with ladies like you; the kind of relationship where we can eye each other up over drinks or coffee, chatting about the events of the days, weeks, months, years and lives, before retiring somewhere private for hours of exploring all the levels of heaven and hell. And once all our desire is exhausted, we can lay together and chat some more.
Next Tuesday okay for you, at yours? Let me know.
Roger.
(Copying the style of a cheap porno novel should work well because women buy these, right? Right? ...right?)
Okay, maybe it still needs a lot of work. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
What, you're not a fan of the ELEVEN FINGERS OF FUN? 
In seriousness, I genuinely do want to thank everyone, especially Mal and Helen, who disected my efforts in detail. It was all good advice. What's going to be harder is learning to adapt it into my own style. It's all very well to say "concentrate more on the physical and/or intellectual attractiveness of the recipient" (which was, I think, the gist of one of Mal's points), but how to do that without sounding ridiculously cheesy or smutty and blathering about HUGE JUICY TITS, or even worse about how physically aroused her picture makes me? And of course, on the other extreme, you can easily end up sounding like a soppy Valentines card.
I guess it's something I'll just have to learn through painful practice. Oh well.
Cheers,
Roger.
In seriousness, I genuinely do want to thank everyone, especially Mal and Helen, who disected my efforts in detail. It was all good advice. What's going to be harder is learning to adapt it into my own style. It's all very well to say "concentrate more on the physical and/or intellectual attractiveness of the recipient" (which was, I think, the gist of one of Mal's points), but how to do that without sounding ridiculously cheesy or smutty and blathering about HUGE JUICY TITS, or even worse about how physically aroused her picture makes me? And of course, on the other extreme, you can easily end up sounding like a soppy Valentines card.
I guess it's something I'll just have to learn through painful practice. Oh well.
Cheers,
Roger.
Think by doing this thread Roger you are gonna gets lots of attention 
Think the humour you can show in what you write and the pics that you show really say a lot about you and somehow need to be translated into an ad that gives a woman or couple food for thought and want to find out more. The art of precising text can take forever some people can say something in a paragraph where others will take a page. Humour though each time will always get attention rather than being just one of the many many ads thats say Hi look at me girls Im fit and I know you are begging for it. :wink:
Think the humour you can show in what you write and the pics that you show really say a lot about you and somehow need to be translated into an ad that gives a woman or couple food for thought and want to find out more. The art of precising text can take forever some people can say something in a paragraph where others will take a page. Humour though each time will always get attention rather than being just one of the many many ads thats say Hi look at me girls Im fit and I know you are begging for it. :wink: hi Roger,
I would just like to say Roger that somewhere between the two would do it.... the humour in both was fantastic.. made me giggle!! but like others have said the pic needs a little work i think a conserted effort with a digital camera ( a long bendy arm), soft lighting and a better background with no antimacassars would bring about some wonderful results!!!
soph and nige
I would just like to say Roger that somewhere between the two would do it.... the humour in both was fantastic.. made me giggle!! but like others have said the pic needs a little work
i think a conserted effort with a digital camera ( a long bendy arm), soft lighting and a better background with no antimacassars would bring about some wonderful results!!! soph and nige
