daft sayings

Quote by secksy_cpl
May the forth be with you
well somone had to say it
Mr secks

1. All empires fall, you just have to know where to push
2. "Can one person make a difference" - AB '97
3. Never break wind in a spacesuit
4. MMMMMMMMMMMMMM donuts
5. Life is something that happens while you make other plans
6. It is better that all should die than one should live in slavery
7. Toast on a Tuesday is better than bread on a Monday
8. Too much sanity is a very scary thing
9. To be or not to be is a rather stupid question
10. If pillows could talk, what would they say when we sat on them?
11. Veni, vedi, velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck with it (Acorn)
12. Oxymoron of the day: Microsoft Works
13. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
14. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
15. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
16. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
17. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
18. Why is there an expiry date on sour cream?
19. An optimist sees the glass half-full, a pessimist sees the glass half-empty
20. "God does not play dice with the Universe" - Albert Einstein
21. Eat well. Sleep deeply. For tomorrow comes and it's all yours - Proverb
22. The essence of life is statistical improbability on a colossal scale
23. "Bad Idea" (tm) is a trademark of Microsoft Corporation
24. Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
25. You know you've drunk too much coffee when you're more wired than AT&T
26. What did they go back to before they invented the drawing board?
27. Oxymoron of the day: Genuine imitation leather
28. Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
29. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
30. All that glitters has a high refractive index
31. Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit
32. Don't force it, get a large hammer
33. Drive defensively, buy a tank
34. God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the 6th
35. Jury - Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer
36. Trapezoid - A devide for catching zoids
37. The attention span of a computer is as long as it's electrical cord.
38. You know you drink too much coffee when you watch videos in fast forward
39. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
40. If you keep your mind open, someone will throw rubbish into it
41. Tip of the day: Never eat yellow snow
42. Actual Headline: "Miners refuse to work after death"
43. Actual Headline: "Stolen painting found by tree"
44. Actual Headline: "Something went wrong in jet crash, expert says"
45. Actual Headline: "Lung cancer in women mushrooms"
46. If we learn from our mistakes, then I'm getting a wonderful education
47. A genius is one who shoots at something no-one else can see, and hits it.
48. That MUST be wonderful. I didn't understand it at all.
49. Efficiency is just intelligent laziness
50. In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
51. DOS Error: Cannot find keyboard. Press C to continue
52. He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
53. Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax
54. Semiconductors are part-time musicians
55. This computer goes down more often than Monica Lewinsky

Quote by awol
I don't know about you but I always found "touching base" daft even a bit indecent :twisted:
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Quote by
I don't know about you but I always found "touching base" daft even a bit indecent :twisted:
...

Quote by Kaznkev
My father in law was fond of saying "HE wants stuffing with the rough end of a rag man's trumpet" when confronted by fools.

Quote by vodka_babe22uk
I think this one is unique to my family,correct me if I'm ever someones underskirt is showing someone will say 'charlies dead' I have no idea where this comes from

Quote by poshkate
Mad as a box of frogs

Quote by anais
When I was a kid asking what was for tea - the answer always was "breadnpullit and wipe it round the window"