Hah! I am just happy to get a reply.
I think your reply is very good. I think it's important to be firm but diplomatic with people.
As for the explanations, I think there are quite a few people who think that they are god's gift to sex, and can't believe that people wouldn't want to shag them.
We have had some replies wanting to know why they "were not what we were looking for".... I normally say the same sort of thing that you have just put Reese..
And you are right in what you have put... There has to be approval from all parties..
To be fair though if you get a "thanks but no thanks" you shouldn't really ask why... It's sort of an unspoken rule of swinging..
Shireen
xxx
I sent out a reply with what I thought was a pleasant enough "thanks but no thanks" . In return I got several emails telling me how many girlfriends he's had. how many women he's shagged,how he gets more offers of sex than he can handle, hence, while I might think he's an ugly f*cker, obviously few other people think so.
All I said was - "I'm sorry, you're not quite what I am looking for. Thankyou for replying. Good Luck!" I never said he was ugly or anything remotely like that.
He continued to email me a few times a day for about a week. At first I responded 'cos i felt the need to state my case but I soon learnt to ignore him.
It ended with him apologising, asking to be friends and chat online. I ignored him again. A polite rejection might've set him off again!
Reese, I think you should bottle that reply, and use it in the future... its exceptionaly nice, and a testiment to what nice people you are that you took the time to write it.
In my personal experience a wall of silence is fairly standard so I think its great that you always reply... although I do understand that single women and couples get hundreds of messages to wade through, many of them utter drivel.
As far as I am concerned (and this goes for regular dating too)... if someone isn't interested then thats it... I would rather find someone who thought I was soooo attractive or interesting or whatever that they were falling over themselves to find out more about me, ultimately they will be a better friend to me. Chasing is fun, but only if the other person wants to be chased.
Hence I don't care WHY someone doesn't like me, cos whatever the reason its personal to them... What I do care about is WHY some people DO like me... and for that I expect essays not postage stamps!
I would certainly never dream of badgering someone for an answer, or being agressive... because thats just crazy... and certainly not polite sociable behaviour in any community.
Yes, we have had a few why's also. We explained it as Reese has done here and all but one accepted it. The one that didn't tried many times to get us to meet him, even pretended to be the fem partner of himself in the chatroom once and make himself seem more appealing to us. We weren't bothered by this, quite amusing really. He got fed up eventually and haven't heard from him for a while, thank god!
Gill & Del x
After I sent out the "thanks but no thanks" replies. I got quite a few replies back saying fair enough but if you change your mind etc etc.
I had specifically said in my ad - "I will only reply to those that really fire my imagination" - though I did try to reply to all in the end. I did get a few folk saying what could I have said or done differently - I guess they are just looking for some feedback. One person did send me a feed back form :shock: (I think it was a joke - I certainly took it as such and had a wee chuckle)
In reality the quality of the replies I got was really good - and my response had to be a bit of a shoulder shrug really - who can say why one person seems to click instantly while another seams nice but just does not have that ....? In the end I started to get muddled up with who was who and just wanted it all to go away.
Although throughout the whole process everyone was very polite and pleasant, in the end I did have to end up ignoring people as some folk seemed to think that a polite reply of no was really a maybe.
Cheers
CQ - who will not be having another advert as she found it all too stressful
I think that most of the weirdos out there who won't take "no" for an answer are fantasists. They don't meet people. They sit in front of their PCs, typing away, imagining that they will get sex. If someone actually said yes to them, they would run a mile.
We turned someone down once, and they responded with a whine. It was difficult.
Venusxxx
Hi Reese
See ALL the posts about "expectations" weve made so many times before lol.
They'll all deny it of course.
i had some replies i felt weren't for me so i just ignored them.
i would rather people think i was a time waster than hurt someones feelings
I said he can doesn`t mean he ever has!
Oh, we had a paranoid moment with the webpage, it`ll be back soon, hopefully with updates :twisted:
Venusxxx
personnally we dont reply to ppl who dont take our fancy,this is not through ignorance but due to volume of replies to ads that we place,we shift through them and select who appeals to both of us and if ppl cant accept that they didnt get a responce then sorry but thats life..........swinging is not purely jumping into bed with each other its getting to meet ppl and being friends,and we think that Reese is being very polite and courteous,too many ppl think if they reply then correspondance should take place but at the end of the day the individual or cpl that place an ad have the choice of who they find intresting and who should be binned and if respondants dont like it then sorry ppl but again thats life.
sorry for ranting we`ll get our coats..........
I generally only reply to people I'm interested in. I started out replying to all, but some :loon guys chose to add me to msn and abuse me that way for rejecting their responses. I even got an email from some bloke bulk mailing every female he'd ever received an email from saying, 'There's got to be one of you up for a shag!'. Now why isn't that appealing?
The response we give depends on the quality of the email we receive.
We get a lot of 'one liners' from single guys and they treated with the contempt they deserve.
However when we receive a well written email with pics from a guy that has read our ad and is profering an alternative scenario then we do reply.
We have never encountered abuse based on replies nor have we been asked for further info as to why we are not interested.
Dx
).rejection is quite tough but Gregg's reply made me smile-there are quite a few people about who just dont have ANY self-awareness at all & think everyone would be interested.I try & keep things polite-but must admit get a bit miffed when Pm's come in without invitation.
! Anyway, I emailed back politely that I hoped she finds who she is looking for and left it at that. She then spoke to a mutual friend, which then opened up the dialogue again and we did meet and have done several times.
: :?: :?: 
Before that, it was celticq's ad that vanished! :( Is this getting to be a trend among forum members? Eh, no matter...just means that Vix & I can have everyone to ourselves now! 
