My daughter who will be 18 in May has been going out with a nice guy for a year and a month, he is 18 also. Our house is quiet small and the weekend she wants him to stay over is the weekend my son comes home from the navy.
She has asked if her boyfriend can sleep in her room on an airbed?
I am not sure, even though me and MrsFC have been with each other since she was 16 and having great fun :twisted: five months after I returned from service abroad.
Am I practicing double standards or being old fashioned? I would like your thoughts!
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Dilema
This may not be particularly helpful, but, my Sister made the same request at a similar age her main intent to 'get to know' her boyfriend of 1 year in a safe environment.
When the appointed day came my Sister's chap arrived with overnight bag which my Mother took from him and led him to the room next to hers.
Apparently, I discovered many years later, being in the room next to my parents was the most effective contraceptive ever conceived.
When the appointed day came my Sister's chap arrived with overnight bag which my Mother took from him and led him to the room next to hers.
Apparently, I discovered many years later, being in the room next to my parents was the most effective contraceptive ever conceived.
Sex God
I don't think it's double standards. You're not 18. It's reasonable for her to follow your rules as long as she's living in your house.
If you're not comfortable with him sleeping in her room (I certainly wouldn't be!), I'm sure you can find somewhere else for him.
If you're not comfortable with him sleeping in her room (I certainly wouldn't be!), I'm sure you can find somewhere else for him.
yor house, yor rules... and at 18 she'd know that by now. It may be him who is nudging her towards getting dad to bend a little. You never know, she may be wanting you to say uh uh... saves her saying it. At 18 they certainly could find other places to be together without any issues. If they were in the same room, you'd get no sleep anyway wondering what was going on... so for your own peace of mind... stick to your rules!
at 18, my gf's parents sed no... and I just had to put up with it and they liked me more for respecting their rules. Never a bad thing to get on with dad!
at 18, my gf's parents sed no... and I just had to put up with it and they liked me more for respecting their rules. Never a bad thing to get on with dad!
I've got an 18 year old girl. 
I think you're feelings are exactly what you'd expect and NEED from a parent. Your urge is to protect her... Her urge is to fight you! It's exactly the way nature intended it to be.
My one has given up bringing lads home. She know's I'll be after their hides if they so much as look at her in a non-wholesome way!
:smackbottom:
But that's my 'job', innit!
I think you're feelings are exactly what you'd expect and NEED from a parent. Your urge is to protect her... Her urge is to fight you! It's exactly the way nature intended it to be.
My one has given up bringing lads home. She know's I'll be after their hides if they so much as look at her in a non-wholesome way!
:smackbottom: But that's my 'job', innit!
Sex God
Peeps we have kept her quite inocent,.. and we have done a good job> She is very innocent, but with a brain. very willing to please parents and willing to talk to mum.. and to bribe dad :shock: 18 is luring and she is sill asking for permission!!! bless her!! 
:) We must have done a good job. I was engaged now , and still enjoying MrFC as he me. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:) We must have done a good job. I was engaged now , and still enjoying MrFC as he me. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I think that it doesn't matter whether you let her or not if she wants to experiment she will.
I also think that I would be feeling exactly the same as you guys if it were my daughter. I have a son who is four years old and I would probably let him do pretty much anything when he reaches 18 but it's the old daddy's girl routine this one isn't it?
I expect that she would respect her mom and dad and whatever desicion they came up with anyway. Its your house and if you don't want it to happen under your roof then make it known, just beware that she may do it elsewhere and as someone else has pointed out at mom's and dad's is a fairly safe environment for your daughter's first time experience.
God I hope I never have a daughter. Well I do but I hope I never have to make this desision. I expect it's even harder to make considering she asked you outright in the first place as if she were seeking a blessing of some kind.
Well, I dont suppose that hhas helped too much at all has it. Sorry
N
I also think that I would be feeling exactly the same as you guys if it were my daughter. I have a son who is four years old and I would probably let him do pretty much anything when he reaches 18 but it's the old daddy's girl routine this one isn't it?
I expect that she would respect her mom and dad and whatever desicion they came up with anyway. Its your house and if you don't want it to happen under your roof then make it known, just beware that she may do it elsewhere and as someone else has pointed out at mom's and dad's is a fairly safe environment for your daughter's first time experience.
God I hope I never have a daughter. Well I do but I hope I never have to make this desision. I expect it's even harder to make considering she asked you outright in the first place as if she were seeking a blessing of some kind.
Well, I dont suppose that hhas helped too much at all has it. Sorry
N
Tough one. With three daughters on or abouts that age - I've already faced it with two of them, including the dreaded holiday where we took the boyfriend with us. Bottom line is - your house, your rules.We decided to let them make their own informed decisions. ( The ones over 18 ) Under 18 was spare room or couch!
lhk
Kat
The alternatives are quite funny at times!
I met a lovely lady when I was a ski instructor many years ago in my youth! I went to meet her when I got home, and she was living at home with her parents in this fabulous house with a swimming pool, walk in fireplaces and 20ft ceilings! Her parents went to bed that evening a few hours after we had met and this was the conversation....
"Where am I sleeping?"
"In my bed"
"Where are you sleeping?"
"In my bed"
"Do your parents know?"
"No"
"Won't they be upset to find a guy they just met in bed with their daughter?"
"Don't know"
"I think they will - I will sleep down here - I have my sleeping bag in the car"
"Wait a minute"
5 minutes go by.......
"It's OK - I went and woke mum and asked her if it would be OK for you to sleep with me and she said yes"
Can you imagine how uncomfortable I felt at breakfast Sunday morning when her mum asked us if we slept well and her father winked at me?
ops: :oops: :oops:
I met a lovely lady when I was a ski instructor many years ago in my youth! I went to meet her when I got home, and she was living at home with her parents in this fabulous house with a swimming pool, walk in fireplaces and 20ft ceilings! Her parents went to bed that evening a few hours after we had met and this was the conversation....
"Where am I sleeping?"
"In my bed"
"Where are you sleeping?"
"In my bed"
"Do your parents know?"
"No"
"Won't they be upset to find a guy they just met in bed with their daughter?"
"Don't know"
"I think they will - I will sleep down here - I have my sleeping bag in the car"
"Wait a minute"
5 minutes go by.......
"It's OK - I went and woke mum and asked her if it would be OK for you to sleep with me and she said yes"
Can you imagine how uncomfortable I felt at breakfast Sunday morning when her mum asked us if we slept well and her father winked at me?
ops: :oops: :oops: Quote by MrFC
My daughter who will be 18 in May has been going out with a nice guy for a year and a month, he is 18 also. Our house is quiet small and the weekend she wants him to stay over is the weekend my son comes home from the navy.
She has asked if her boyfriend can sleep in her room on an airbed?
Am I practicing double standards or being old fashioned? I would like your thoughts!
Without wishing to put a damper on this, I would say stick to your own feelings. My brother was in just that situation last June when his daughter had her 18th birthday party. Boyfriend stayed over in daughter's room on a futon . . .
Three weeks ago my brother became a grandfather to a bouncing baby boy, born exactly nine months after his mother turned 18 years of age. Not saying it wouldn't have happened anyway, but although my brother and his wife love their new grandson immensly, they do blame themselves for his arrival into this world.
Stick to your gut feelings on it. I'm sure your daughter will understand whatever decision you choose to make.
Jess
I think it is reasonable that your daughter play by your rules in your house, especially since she is not yet 18 (although if she is going to be, in a couple months, then it's not such a big deal.)
In other words, your house, your rules is perfectly fine - if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it.
Just don't be under the impression (I don't think you are, but just saying..) that making them sleep in separate rooms is going to prevent them getting together (if indeed, they aren't sleeping togethert already).
In other words, your house, your rules is perfectly fine - if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it.
Just don't be under the impression (I don't think you are, but just saying..) that making them sleep in separate rooms is going to prevent them getting together (if indeed, they aren't sleeping togethert already).
Hi 
just wanted to give you my opinion.
Well, technically she is over 16 so it's past the age of consent, although she is your daughter and still living in your house, so she needs to obey your rules.....
The best advice is to sit down and talk with her, tell her that you don't really want her boyfriend to stay in her room. But above all, make sure that she knows about protection so that if she does sleep with him at some other point you won't end up with a little Grandchild in nine months time....
Good luck!!
just wanted to give you my opinion.Well, technically she is over 16 so it's past the age of consent, although she is your daughter and still living in your house, so she needs to obey your rules.....
The best advice is to sit down and talk with her, tell her that you don't really want her boyfriend to stay in her room. But above all, make sure that she knows about protection so that if she does sleep with him at some other point you won't end up with a little Grandchild in nine months time....
Good luck!!
Sex God
The laws of nature haven't changed from your generation to theirs. Teenagers are still teenagers, parents still make the rules, and what kids want to do but aren't allowed to do at home, they still do elsewhere.
