i worked in a job where a lot of employees had minor disabilities, which I did not notice for several weeks. They were very good at disguising it. It never occurred to me to look.
I occasionally vist professional women. And that is exactly what most of them are. Very capable in dealing with a wide variety of people. A disabiity to them is nothing.
They dislike people who don't care or make an effort. Otherwise they'll accept most people. So don't wait, get along there and find someone who you like and can share some joy with.
I had a bad accident 8 years ago thats left me with 2 squished disks at the base of my spine , a dodgy cruiciate knee ligament and now a dodgy ( as in small bit of broken bones foating about in it !! ) ankle. I was married at the time and due to the "pain killers" I was on I ended up with some pretty serious mood swings , depression and anger at the world ( the "why me" syndrome ).
This meant 3 1/2 years later my marriage breaking down. Now I have to use walking sticks , i've got permanent damage in my sciatic nerve which means pins'n'needles in both legs from halfway from my hip to my knees right to my toes. This does make things difficult since i've got loads and loads of good female mates I used to find it difficult getting past 1st base too.
What sorted me out was accepting that i'll never get better unless they can operate on me one day and saying to myself "i'm ME regardless of my fecked up body". Now I find that with my self confidence back that women are more willing to look past my disability , see me for who I am not what's wrong with me and i've had lots of fun since.
I make fun of myself all the time , tell people off for trying to give me sympathy ( well I might have problems but there's a LOT of other people out there with shed loads more problems than I have ) and try to keep smiling ( can be difficult but worth it in the end ).
I find that women are far more likely to look past any disabilities anyone has if they are confident , make them laugh and never go for the sympathy vote. I have a bloody good mate called Douggie in Peterhead who was born paraplegic and has always had to use a wheelchair. He is a right character , a cheeky SoB at times and gets more shags than 95% of his able bodied mates do lol.
Stick in there mate , relax , have a laugh and a joke , don't take life seriously and you'll soon find that you can get past 1st base.
All the best , if you need a chat about anything to do with your disability then PM me. That goes for anyone that has physical problems , sometimes a chat with someone in the same boat can make a world of difference.
Davie
Hi johnny, I was interested to read your post as I'm in a somewhat different, but related situation. My partner has a chronic neurological condition, that means we're lucky to get it on more than once every three months or so, and even then we don't normally manage more than a bit of a fumble and a quickie (not to mention all the times we try and it ends up impossible, leaving me with a bad case of blue balls).
I have in the past considered paying for sex, but decided against for two reasons: a gut instinct that this was something I didn't really want to do, and the practical point that it wasn't a viable long-term solution from a financial perspective. I don't have any moral high horse about sex workers, I just felt that I wouldn't enjoy it if I knew it was bought rather than given freely.
Just a thought, but do you notice a different reaction from people when you're using crutches as opposed to a wheelchair?
I can understand you preferring to use a chair when socialising, I've used crutches in the past and know how little care people take around them (then again, I was a schoolboy at the time - and they took more care after I belted the class toerag with one after he tried to steal it from me for a laugh :twisted: ).
Hey KK & BHD.
Firstly Kitkat; with regards to having my nelsons column being dismantled (a strange anology when I look back on it) its been a 'long long' time since anyways even had a chip away at it. EIGHT years! So I'm talking years of pent up sexual dissatisfaction. Hence my yearning. As everyone seems to be pretty open on SW I guess I should be also. Self gratification isn't something I'm blessed with unfortunately after my accident. A spinal cord accident has left me with lesser sensation from the chest down so sex for me isn't about the climax itself (despite the fact I can still stand to attention when called upon); its more about the satisfaction of being able to pleasure the partner. Hearing the yearn's of pleasure and facial reactions when I touch the right spots. Does that make sense? I do want the dismantling to mean something but at the moment I'm so tightly wound I just need that release - hence the call girl option.
Secondly BHD; Unfortunately I have a taste for the odd alcoholic beverage - hence my requirement to use the wheels when socialising. If I wasn't partial to the liquer I'd more often than not use my crutches when socialising. In answer to your question I do find peoples recations differ when I'm in a wheelchair - not in a distasteful way but in a way 'some' (and I emphasise some as they're in the minority) find it difficult to look past the wheelchair. Especially in terms of realising disabled peop's have sexual needs too (hence the thread title). Please don't think I'm bitter about being in a wheelchair and resent able bodied peop's as I'm not. Its just I've been this way long enough to pick up on these things.
Your right of course KK. ITs a difficult one I know and I've been wrestling with the idea of asking an escort to come and visit for some time. I've been in contact with a few and we've communicated via email. I'm been very open with them and made them aware of my situation. A couple of which say they'd never discriminate in any way (ok money's money no matter who the client is) and that they have other disabled clients.
1. You're living in South Wales, either the valleys or the cities, and they're not the most enlightened of people down there (before you bitch me, I'm from there :P ) so a disability will be a greater hindrance for Victory.
2. If you're going to try and pull in a nightclub then to be blunt, and possibly offensive, you're going after the wrong sort of woman for your predicament.
3. If you find yourself a g/f and someone who can see past your disability then you'll get your column polished a lot more often.
But I would advise against going to a prostitute as, it's been said before, it's a big drain on your finances and there's no knowing what you could catch.
I would just sugest that you dont let anyone push you around
please take that the way it is intended, not disrepectful, but a joke, in no way meant to belittle anyone in a wheel chair or disabled.
I saw a very moving documentary some years ago about a guy with similar issues to you. After much debate wih his friends and within himself he decided to go to the Netherlands. Not only did this get him around the seedy/sordid side of prostitution in this country (because of our blinkered attitudes and legal restrictions) but his researches had located a agency which specialised in disabilities. And of course there isn't a health risk because of their institutionalised checks.
Clearly the cameras were excluded from the room but afterwards he seemed to be a very happy bunny indeed!!!
Jezzay.
My age, my circumstances and all those views expressed within the post are legit. The subject of this thread is something I've toyed with for sometime but with no one to turn to for advise. Hence my reason for posting this thread. Each and every view expressed has been taken upon board and has been most helpful. As you may have realised I am new to this community and the 'golf course' post I think was my first post and one of which I now feel ashamed of writing. This thread however has been written from the heart and is not something I've found easy to express. Its reassuring to know there are thoughtful people out there whom use SH who I think I can pose questions to if the need arises in the future.
In one post you say you are 25 and in another you are 26... now only trying to establish the correct figure. Age matters you know.
:P
Ah I do apologise - I understand what your trying to get at now - your referring to my earlier 'would like to meet post' in which I refer to myself as 26 years of age. Truthfully I now realise I was over cautious when writing this post also as I referred to myself as being 25 when I'm really 27. I didn’t check when I wrote the last message. The disparities in my age are a result of me being cautious over whom may read these posts - i.e. if someone whom I knew read the post, they may be able to put 2 and 2 together and realise its me i.e. 27, male, name=Johnboy, disabled, living in S Wales etc. Ok it’s unlikely but it may happen. Actually it could very well happen. I understand your inquisitiveness but that’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Ps. If you think the whole disability issue is a fabrication then there are ways this can be proven. And to all those who've now put 2 and 2 together and know me. A big HELLO from me!
JBW I believe Jags is just pointing out that your lies will come back to bite you in the ass, is all.
Ya godda be one sick fuck to fane a disability, which I don't think you are btw.
Your needs do sound quite specialist then - not physically, or emotionally, but the bit in between the two. Would a prostitute be able to convince you that they were really enjoying it??
:roll: