I just wonder whether swingingheaven is some sort of exclusive club for couples and bi fems only. I have been coming here for nearly a year now, i'm respectful, I write more than one line, I never bother to reply unless I match what the ad says and I write out each reply according to the ad/profile rather than send a one message fits all, and yet I get no replies from people whatsoever. I am new to the scene in terms of not going on munches etc and if i'm honest I don't think i'd feel 100% comfortable meeting a couple, but I really don't know as I haven't had the chance. So I was wondering if anyone can point out to me what i'm doing wrong or am I just an ugly fucker?.
e2a: I have read the advice threads and am pretty sure I follow about 98% of the advice given.
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Do single men get a look in on here?
Well, your profile is hardly overflowing with information. As a single guy you have got to really shine to stand out from the crowd.
It's tough for a single bloke, but yes it does work. I have met some brilliant people through this site. In fact my partner and I got together courtesy of SH.
Be patient, and keep trying.
It's tough for a single bloke, but yes it does work. I have met some brilliant people through this site. In fact my partner and I got together courtesy of SH.
Be patient, and keep trying.
Quote by Smoky
I just wonder whether swingingheaven is some sort of exclusive club for couples and bi fems only. I have been coming here for nearly a year now, i'm respectful, I write more than one line, I never bother to reply unless I match what the ad says and I write out each reply according to the ad/profile rather than send a one message fits all, and yet I get no replies from people whatsoever. I am new to the scene in terms of not going on munches etc and if i'm honest I don't think i'd feel 100% comfortable meeting a couple, but I really don't know as I haven't had the chance. So I was wondering if anyone can point out to me what i'm doing wrong or am I just an ugly fucker?.
e2a: I have read the advice threads and am pretty sure I follow about 98% of the advice given.
Fraid it's just a numbers thing, the ratio of Males far outweighs the Couples and Females.
If I were you, I would maybe attend a social or something? Socials tend to be smaller and can be a lot more intimate, so a great way of chatting to others.
Personally we would meet people that we have met socially before. That way, we already know we get on etc. Whereas if you meet someone blind, just with PM contact, you still don't know if you will actually click, until you meet.
Plus we thoroughly enjoy the swinging lifestyle, not just the sexual side. So we're not really interested in the fair few 'quick fuck and move on never to be spoken to again' brigade. You can tell most of the people that are like that when you're in a social environment, but you can't so easily when you're just talking online
That's just my opinion on it btw, not really advice, more personal thoughts and takes on things. The whole swinging thing is so diverse, there are the more anonymous just go for it people, a lot of em, it's just a case of replying to ads, not only suitable ones, but the right words at the right time - something you just can't predict or get right :dunno:
Quote by Medic_1
Ya need a shed :shock: I came here as a single guy complete with shed and it worked wonders for metop tip for all single fellas get yourself a 7 foot wooden erection
:lol2:
New nic for sheddy >>>>>>>>>> "Splinter Dick"
There goes another coffee
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Sex God
Quote by Smoky
I have read the advice threads and am pretty sure I follow about 98% of the advice given.
Then it's obviously the 2% you are not following that's the most important
Quote by Smoky
I just wonder whether swingingheaven is some sort of exclusive club for couples and bi fems only. I have been coming here for nearly a year now, i'm respectful, I write more than one line, I never bother to reply unless I match what the ad says and I write out each reply according to the ad/profile rather than send a one message fits all, and yet I get no replies from people whatsoever. I am new to the scene in terms of not going on munches etc and if i'm honest I don't think i'd feel 100% comfortable meeting a couple, but I really don't know as I haven't had the chance. So I was wondering if anyone can point out to me what i'm doing wrong or am I just an ugly fucker?.
e2a: I have read the advice threads and am pretty sure I follow about 98% of the advice given.
im not sure that youre doing things "wrong" as such.... i think that your "problems" are shared by many on the site.....
but i do happen to know that , from my own personal point of view, things aren't that bad at all.
one of the main problems seems to be that you have no information on your profile.. only 2 similar pics..... i think that your e just about smiling in them.... hint hint.
secondly, id say that some of your problem is your lack of confidence..... women find it attractive and of course people who might wanna meet you for uncomplicated sexual encounters are gonna find this a little bit daunting.....they're not really gonna be interested in holding your hand and treating you gently because of your nerves.
please dont get me wrong.... im not having a go at you... im just saying it as i see it....
if you pidgeon hole yourself that you will only meet singles... not couples... youre limiting your chances of finding people that might possibly meet you. then, if you couple that with what i presume you put in your replies (ie, in new... or im not that confident etc) that might be part of the reason why your getting no response.
SWinging is, as i see it a lifestyle.... not something you can say youre into... if you just answer some small ads on a website..... as people have said , theres a social side to it all... its not just a matter of sitting by your computer in your bedroom answering adverts or loitering in a chatroom... so , going to clubs, socials, munches etc is the way that youre gonna meet people and get known.
i know that its a case of "what comes first... the chicken or the egg" sometimes but from my experience... the social side of things will help your true personality to come out..
from there, youll know people in the chatrooms.. or that are regulars on here and.. it all things are equal, youll soon get to meet people .
Sexpert
Well it doesnt happen every week, but it isnt impossible, keep trying, my motto is you've got to be in it to win it.
My simple rules of engagement are, not to reply to any advert when you dont fit the criteria, even if its yoiur eye colour that is wrong.
Keep trying.
My simple rules of engagement are, not to reply to any advert when you dont fit the criteria, even if its yoiur eye colour that is wrong.
Keep trying.
Sex God
Yep
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: Quote by naughtynymphos1
sorry but i have to ask why a single guy coming on a swinging site to look for single women? is that really swinging? ok so that could be a debate in itself but as most people come on here for find new and exciting things to do sexually i doubt many women are after 1 on 1s with men
Swinging is recreational sex between adults it doesn't matter how many or what sex.
I've been here about as long as you Smokey and i have one social meet planned. It does take a long time for single males to get known and established here and i dare say other similar sites. There is no excusivity its just not many single fems are attracted to swinging in general and more so with men, and the reason so many males are here is down to the fact that lots of them see it as a quick shag site and it is nothing like it.
That why it takes so long imo.
Just keep trying and be what you are already being and it may or may not happen.
Ok heres my silly input. The few meets that I have had in my short time here and the few that I have lined up are all with people who are contributers ( not necessarily million posts regs ). Its not that I am a snob and wont talk to someone who is shy but by getting some banter back and forth either in chat or forum I already feel a little kinship with the person/couple if that makes sense as opossed to an out of the blue "hey, you wanna meet me this Saturday" from someone who I havent even read anything from. I dont mean that their chat/forum posts have to be with me but just like to read a little something outside of their profile too. You can get a little insight into sense of humor ( or lack of ) that way. Does that sound silly. Maybe I am not wording it right ... having a block between my brain and fingers today.
Ok... off to my corner now. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ok... off to my corner now. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by Abilene
...but by getting some banter back and forth either in chat or forum I already feel a little kinship with the person/couple if that makes sense as opossed to an out of the blue "hey, you wanna meet me this Saturday" from someone who I havent even read anything from....
you're not on your own Abi :thumbup:
Quote by naughtynymphos1
sorry but i have to ask why a single guy coming on a swinging site to look for single women? is that really swinging? ok so that could be a debate in itself but as most people come on here for find new and exciting things to do sexually i doubt many women are after 1 on 1s with men
Good point
Quote by goose35
Swinging is recreational sex between adults it doesn't matter how many or what sex.
now you see i really can't see where your coming from on this one cause if that was the case everyone would be swingers? or are you just swingers if you meet on a swingers site and say you are?
I means lets face it 90% of the male population wouldn't turn down no strings sex if it was offered them on a plate are they all swingers?
Personally i'd say no, when i meet a guy as a single women i don't really see it as swinging its just a shag surly
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Personally i'd say no, when i meet a guy as a single women i don't really see it as swinging its just a shag surly
Have to say I agree with you there. Although I dont view every encounter I have with a single guy as just a 'shag' but thats the old romantic in me ... ssshhhhh ... dont tell anyone. lol
Quote by Abilene
Personally i'd say no, when i meet a guy as a single women i don't really see it as swinging its just a shag surly
Have to say I agree with you there. Although I dont view every encounter I have with a single guy as just a 'shag' but thats the old romantic in me ... ssshhhhh ... dont tell anyone. lol
lol you secarets sae with me
you know what i mean tho, i hope
See i think this is where a lot of guys get it wrong they see swinging as a means of getting a easy lay, i know this cause i have spoken to a lot who had admitted this, one said to me once that he had joined this site cause he though all the women were sluts and would get loads of local women offering :shock: but he found it easier to pick up at a pub, which to be honest i think is true, most women on here are not a easy lay and i know very very few who will meet single men, well just 1 single guy anyway :wink: :wink:
Sex God
Quote by Darkfire
...but by getting some banter back and forth either in chat or forum I already feel a little kinship with the person/couple if that makes sense as opossed to an out of the blue "hey, you wanna meet me this Saturday" from someone who I havent even read anything from....
you're not on your own Abi :thumbup:
got to agree with this m8 !
get postin an get yourself known
an what polo sed
an what NN sed
an what meaty sed :roll:
u buggers never told me this lot? :shock:
just took me to a bloody munch an didnt tell me what was goin to happen???? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Swinging is recreational sex between adults it doesn't matter how many or what sex.
now you see i really can't see where your coming from on this one cause if that was the case everyone would be swingers? or are you just swingers if you meet on a swingers site and say you are?
I means lets face it 90% of the male population wouldn't turn down no strings sex if it was offered them on a plate are they all swingers?
Personally i'd say no, when i meet a guy as a single women i don't really see it as swinging its just a shag surly
Bingo!
But I prefer shagging swingers
Quote by sercher01
...but by getting some banter back and forth either in chat or forum I already feel a little kinship with the person/couple if that makes sense as opossed to an out of the blue "hey, you wanna meet me this Saturday" from someone who I havent even read anything from....
you're not on your own Abi :thumbup:
got to agree with this m8 !
get postin an get yourself known
an what polo sed
an what NN sed
an what meaty sed :roll:
u buggers never told me this lot? :shock:
just took me to a bloody munch an didnt tell me what was goin to happen???? :shock: :shock: :shock:
and you hated every min of it :wink:
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Swinging is recreational sex between adults it doesn't matter how many or what sex.
now you see i really can't see where your coming from on this one cause if that was the case everyone would be swingers? or are you just swingers if you meet on a swingers site and say you are?
I means lets face it 90% of the male population wouldn't turn down no strings sex if it was offered them on a plate are they all swingers?
Personally i'd say no, when i meet a guy as a single women i don't really see it as swinging its just a shag surly
Swinging is recreational sex between adults
Thats the exact quote on here and my first quote is what i understood it to mean before i signed up.
Im just using the definition off this site which i read before i joined. Had it said couples and bi couples only i woulnt have joined.
The reason im here is because i wanted to see what it was about and make some friends sex or otherwise and other personal reasons
So if only want to meet singles as im not sure about anything else then the general feeling is that singles shouldnt be here.
Quote by goose35
Swinging is recreational sex between adults it doesn't matter how many or what sex.
now you see i really can't see where your coming from on this one cause if that was the case everyone would be swingers? or are you just swingers if you meet on a swingers site and say you are?
I means lets face it 90% of the male population wouldn't turn down no strings sex if it was offered them on a plate are they all swingers?
Personally i'd say no, when i meet a guy as a single women i don't really see it as swinging its just a shag surly
Swinging is recreational sex between adults
Thats the exact quote on here and my first quote is what i understood it to mean before i signed up.
Im just using the definition off this site which i read before i joined. Had it said couples and bi couples only i woulnt have joined.
The reason im here is because i wanted to see what it was about and make some friends sex or otherwise and other personal reasons
So if only want to meet singles as im not sure about anything else then the general feeling is that singles shouldnt be here.
I wouldn't say that is the case....
But I just wish some of the singles on here would be a lot more honest about why they are here and what they want rather than pretending to be something else or something they are not.
Having sex as a single with as many other singles as possible (or even just a select few) is not swinging in my opinion... it is shagging... no difference in behaviour to the vanillas in a night club (other than not calling the bird a slag the day after).
Well if people want to be here to shag - so what... I shag other singles in between the more exciting stuff, but I would never consider that part alone to be swinging.
I disagree - I consider what I do swinging, whether it's with couples, groups or other singles. I've done my fair share of shagging around, before discovering the swinging scene, and I don't think it's the same. The important bits of the swinging scene, for me, are that I'm respected, I'm never judged, I can want what I want when I want it and no-one's going to think I'm a slut. Everyone has the same attitude to NSA sex, in other words that it's A Good Thing and you have every right to it.
The single guys I consider to be swingers have the swinging mindset, ethos, whatever, and shagging them is different to shagging some guy I pick up in a club who I don't know, have no intention of having a friendship with, will probably only shag once and won't have any kind of connection with. Of course there are singles of both sexes here just looking for a shag, and if it's working then fair play to them, but I don't consider it to be swinging.
Swinging for me isn't just any old sex, it's sex with people I know and like, which makes it different from shagging around in the vanilla world - regardless of whether the people I'm doing it with are couples, single guys, single girls or a great big group of all of them. I think it's the attitude that makes it swinging, not the combination of bodies.
The single guys I consider to be swingers have the swinging mindset, ethos, whatever, and shagging them is different to shagging some guy I pick up in a club who I don't know, have no intention of having a friendship with, will probably only shag once and won't have any kind of connection with. Of course there are singles of both sexes here just looking for a shag, and if it's working then fair play to them, but I don't consider it to be swinging.
Swinging for me isn't just any old sex, it's sex with people I know and like, which makes it different from shagging around in the vanilla world - regardless of whether the people I'm doing it with are couples, single guys, single girls or a great big group of all of them. I think it's the attitude that makes it swinging, not the combination of bodies.
