Warwick you definitely have not upset me Babes!............i think you are fab!
So please stay and don't leave me............... i don't handle brake up very well :cry:
Warwick...... if you go.. i am going too! :cry: and i am dragging all the rest of them with me as well (well as many of them as I can fit in my back pocket and an aldi carrier bag anyway).
it will be your fault then when mark logs on to find his cafe empty and deserted.
This means that he will shut down the site.
The N.O.W reporter who was doing an expose on swingers will then log onto the site to find that it no longer exists and so can not finish the story.
He will then be sacked by his editor.
The journalist will take the editor to court for unfair dismissal and win a huge sum of money.. so much so that the paper goes bust.
Rival editors will fight it out to claim the share of the market recently vacated by the N.O.W, which will result in a very messy newspaper war breaking out.. this will only end when the last editor standing is convicted of murdering every editor of every rival newspaper and is sentenced to double life in jail.
No one will then be qualified to run any of the national newspapers and so we will be left with none.
This means that no one will hear of the new agreement Tony Blair proposes to make with his bum chum George. No one will know to go to the poll station to vote on it.. and so his idea will go through parliament with out any opposition and he will go ahead and sign the contract.
We wont be aware that he has sold of all but 1 square acre of Britain to America to be used as a giant trailer park for ex Jerry Springer guests until it is too late.
Jerry and security Steve will appear in the dead of the night and demand that we pack our bags and vacate our home ready for the bulldozers to move in and flatten the land for the trailers to be erected on.
People will try to fight back, but will have no chance when the crowd outside start chanting “go jerry, go jerry†, some people will at this point give up the will to live!
For those made of stronger stuff.. there will be the problem of claiming your bit of the square acre.
Whole family’s will be forced to live on one inch of land, it will be the norm to see people living for days at a time in 20 person high human pyramids, there will be no respite.. even when grandma(who is at the top) has severe incontinence!
Over a year or two the British population will have increased so much that the human pyramids get to a height of 36 person high. This causes a slight problem when the planning authority make a visit and announce that all erections higher than 34 people have to be demolished and planning permission has to be sought
Being a typical council official he is un prepared to listen to reason and insists that things are immediately rectified.
When after 3.2 seconds no one has climbed down he sets to work with a giant bowling ball and rolls it from a mile away at the towers of people.
With arms and legs flying every one lands in a heap……..(well not a heap exactly.. the force of the whole of the British population landing in one spot actually splits the earth.. and half of the people end up on a cattle station in new Zealand.).
The noise from this can be heard in France.. where they were convinced it is about time they help the British and so send a lorry load of refugees in the back of a truck through the channel tunnel to aid us.
The bang from the fall was heard in Asia, a sleepy president of a small Asian country decides it must indeed be the start of WW3 and decides he might as well get his bit in, he aims his only weapon in the general direction of the noise and presses the button.
The bomb lands hundreds of miles short of Britain.. and the people cheer.. until they realise the force of it landing in the ocean has caused a tsunami, and it is heading in this direction.
People run screaming to the nearest Argos and place their orders.. only to be told that there is only one rubber dingy in stock.. and there wont be another delivery until next Thursday.
For most people this is the end, however.. for the lucky 214 random people who managed to fit into the dingy (using advice from the French refugees who have just arrived) it is a nerve wracking time.
Holding onto each other and with white knuckles they sit huddled VERY closely together waiting for the almighty wave..the spray from the coming wave means that they cant see each other, but they sit cheering each other up with stories of disasters they have seen on the Blackpool log flume.
The wave hits the mainland and the dingy is lifted 798 foot into the air.. to the distant sounds of the planning man shouting “ you are not allowed to be THAT high!†the dingy whizzes off across the ocean.
After 4 days of constant travel, punctuated only be cries of “are we nearly there yet†the dinghy pulls onto what at first appears to be a deserted beach.
All that they can see for miles around are piles of coats and randomly placed marbles.
The new arrivals are sure they can hear someone speaking in the distance.. but are way too tired to investigate.
When the next morning they are refreshed, they go exploring the island they find a hut.
Peering into the hut they see a man sat staring at a computer screen with the words “page no longer available†written on it.
The man is rocking backwards and forwards and muttering to himself, something about only I had not been sooooo paranoid.
Someone coughs and the man quickly turns around and sees 428 eyes peering in through his window.
He quickly jumps up and screaming something about “my coat.. my coat†runs out of the hut.
The crowd watch him.. worried about his sanity and their own safety as he runs along the beach grabbing piles of the coats.
Concerned that he may attack them.. they leave him to gather the coats and instead look for some weapon to use for protection.
The only thing useful they can see are the marbles scattered along the beach.
They quickly gather these marbles and throw them at the hurrying man.
The nights travelling in the dingy has left the people weak though, And the shots fall short of the man.. all the marbles land in the sea.
The people begin to worry that the man may now turn on them.. however they are relieved to spot a large ship in the distance and heading towards them.. they build a fire out of one of the coats not gathered up and the ship stops for them to jump aboard.
3 miles away from land the ship hits a marble mountain and sinks.. none of the passengers survive.
can you live with that?
The end.
The moral of this story is.. Warwick.. if you want to leave the café.. no one will stop you getting your coat…but if you leave here.. you will NEVER find your marbles.. and look at the damage you will do to the rest of us!
So err…. Please stay!
)it really does lift my spirits tangibly at times, there are some brilliant minds on here and some glorious senses of humour.. 
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
,,,,,DONT GO ! ! . i luvs ya man 
:? so you didnt leave then hey ! 
